How Did THAT Happen?!

Chapter 1 - Surprise!

By Lord Archive

Rated M for Mature for adult situations dealing with sex. Nothing descriptive. Those under 18 should not read this.

Warning! This part contains sexual situations that may upset some readers. Do not read this if you have a narrow-minded view on how sexual relations should occur. I hold nothing but characterization sacred. As long as I can portray characters close to what they are in series, I don't care what they do or what happens to them.

Digimon belongs to Toei Animation Co., and Akiyoshi Hongo and are used without consent.

Note: This is NOT part of Red Digivice Diaries.

This was it. Her parents were going to kill her, slowly. They were NEVER going to understand this.

Miyako's parents sat across from her, concern etched into their faces since she had asked to talk to both of them.

"M-mom, Dad, I... I've got a little problem." Miyako swallowed hard trying to figure out what to say next.

"You're not using drugs, are you?" Mrs. Inoue questioned.

Miyako's eyes widened and shook her head fiercely. "No."

Mr. Inoue slapped the armrest of the chair he was in. "You're the one who's been stealing the beer from the store? I thought it was your brother."

"NO!" Miyako protested. "I have not been taking the beer. I'm pregnant!"

Miyako's parents froze in shock.

Mrs. Inoue spoke in a tone one would use for a four-year old. "Um, dear. We're supposed to mention those big things and then you relate that you have a small problem. You're not supposed to have THAT kind of problem. Now why do you think you're pregnant?"

Miyako couldn't believe her mother's reaction. She wasn't a little girl anymore and didn't appreciate her mother treating her like one. "I've had sex on a rather regular basis for the past four months, haven't had a period in almost two, and this said I was." She held up a Sailor Moon pregnancy test kit (TM).

"You know what sex is?" Mrs. Inoue looked faint.

"Of course I do." Miyako folded her arms. "A guy sticks his penis in me and humps me until we both cum."

"Who's the father?" Mr. Inoue demanded.

"Um..." Miyako sweated nervously. "That's kind of a problem."

Mr. Inoue's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. "You don't know?!"

"Oh, I know who the father is. It can only be the one guy I've had sex with. It's just I don't think you're going to like it."

"It's that Daisuke boy, isn't it?" Mrs. Inoue held her hand to her chest. "He's such a troubled child."

Miyako shook her head. "It's not him."

"Iori?!" Mr. Inoue squeaked in disbelief. "But he's only ten!"

Miyako looked sick. "Gah. No, it's not him."

Miyako's parents exchanged confused glances.

"If it's Ken, Takeru or Koushiro, I wouldn't have much of a problem. Well no more than becoming a grandmother at my age."

Miyako slowly shook her head. "It's not them either, Mom."

"Then who is it?" Mr. Inoue questioned.

"The father is, ahem, me." A meter tall hawk wearing a headband with a feather sticking out it walked into the room.

"The father is a midget in a bird costume?!" Mr. Inoue called out in surprise.

The bird's feathers ruffled in annoyance. "I am not a midget. My name is Hawkmon and I am a digimon, which is short for digital monster."

"It's a monster?!" Mrs. Inoue cried out. "It must be an incubus come to rob our daughter's purity."

Miyako coughed to get their attention. "If you're concerned about my PURITY, I can show that I'm still pure in spirit." She turned to her digimon partner. "Hawkmon, digimental up!"

The giant bird sighed. "Hawkmon armor evolve!" A ball of golden light encased him. It exploded, but somehow caused no damage. Now a tall, white and green humanoid figure with shuriken for hands and feet stood where Hawkmon had been. "Bursting with purity, Shurimon!"

"What the hell?!" Miyako's parents yelled out.

"This is Shurimon, which is another form for Hawkmon. My guess is that this form is the father of my child, but all of his forms are still the same person."

Mrs. Inoue shrank back. "It's not a person, it's a thing."

Shurimon looked at his lover. "I told you this wasn't the way to introduce me."

"Sorry, but they needed to know." Miyako sighed. "Mom, Dad, I know this is a lot to handle. But I love him, and I don't feel what we've been doing was wrong. I realize now we should've used protection, but I didn't think he could get me pregnant."

Mr. Inoue stood up and walked over to Shurimon. "So, son, you've been with my youngest daughter. How old are you?"

Shurimon paused to think. "A rather complicated answer for that question. I'd guess the most correct would be that I'm about one and a half years old."

"Right. You don't have a birth certificate either, do you?"

Shurimon shook his head. "No."

Mr. Inoue laughed. "This is just wonderful! There's no way in hell Miyako can marry him."

"But I love him!" Miyako called out. "I WANT to marry him."

"I'm sure you do," Mr. Inoue snapped. "But it'll never be legally recognized."

Mrs. Inoue stood up. "Dear, you can't be serious about that. Miyako is going to have to get an abortion."

"No!" Miyako screamed. "This is my baby, and I'll keep him no matter what. If you try to make me, I'll go to another dimension and you'll never see me or your grandchildren!"

Mr. Inoue walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out a six-pack of beer. "Let's not make any hasty decisions." He popped open a can and quickly drained it dry. "We're going to have to talk this over for a while." He started on the second can.

It took a few weeks for Hawkmon to win over Miyako's mother and convince her that he wasn't a demonic monster. That had been a tough fight, but his polite mannerisms finally convinced her.

Now being over four months pregnant, Miyako had gone in for her first sonogram. She would get to see her child for the first time. And unlike most parents, she had to wonder how human he would look. The reaction from the person doing the reading didn't help soothe her fears. Even though the fetus wasn't very developed yet, it was obviously 'deformed.' The doctor they brought in said part of the deformity looked like wings.

Miyako held a transparent sonogram image of her child to a light to see her child again. She shook her head and was about to leave when she heard someone call her name. "Hikari?" she questioned.

"What are you doing here?" Hikari asked.

Miyako looked at her friend. "Same as you. No wonder you and Takeru dropped off the face of the Earth. I wondered what happened to you."

"Well... been kind of busy and I guess we sort of lost touch with you after you went to junior high." The bulge Hikari displayed suggested that she was pretty far into the pregnancy.

"How far are you?" Miyako wondered.

Hikari shifted uneasily. "Thirty-one weeks."

"Thirty-one weeks?!" Miyako shuddered. If Hikari looked like that after seven months, what would she look like? Hikari was thin as a rail before and now looked like Ikkakumon.

Hikari nodded. "You've had a sonogram; can I see?"

Miyako nodded. "If I can see yours."

Hikari took out a large envelope and pulled out a sonogram image. They exchanged pictures. She frowned trying to figure out the image.

Miyako tilted her head trying to read the image better. "Hikari... what's this?"

Hikari giggled nervously. "Those are... wings."

"Wings?" Miyako chirped.

Hikari nodded. "Jyou and Koushiro speculate they have something to do with Takeru and my powers."

Miyako shrugged. "I guess that makes sense."

Hikari squinted at part of the image. "Are those what I think they are?"

"Yep. They're wings too," Miyako answered.

"Who's the father?" Hikari demanded.

"Hawkmon," Miyako stated simply.

Hikari stared in shock. "Hawk...mon? Are you sure?"

"Positive. Unless some guy screwed me in my sleep, that's the only possibility." Miyako pointed at the sonogram image. "Besides, he's got bird claws for hands."

Hikari's eyes were widen and unseeing. "Y-you mean a digimon can breed with a human?"

Miyako nodded. "Yep. I'm living proof. Is something wrong?"

Hikari slumped into a chair while staring off into space. "It'd be fun, she said. Nothing wrong could possibly happen, she said. Digimon and humans can't possibly breed, she said. TAILMON YOU STUPID CAT! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" She began to cry. "Just because you wanted a f-foursome, now I'm p-pregnant with Patamon's ch-child."

"Oh, shit," was all Miyako could think to say.

"And if mine is Patamon's... then Tailmon's egg might be..." Hikari started to laugh in a way that didn't sound very sane.

"Why so glum?" Yamato questioned.

Takeru sighed. "What would you say if you found out your girlfriend didn't get pregnant by you, but a digimon?"

"Dance the jig and dump her sorry ass," Yamato replied quickly and honestly.

Takeru laughed. "Forgot about Jun for a second."

Yamato folded his arms. "I wish I could. So, what's your problem?"

"Found out I ROYALLY screwed up." Takeru palmed his head.

"You've known Hikari has been pregnant for months," Yamato pointed out.

"Yeah, but that kid isn't mine." Takeru sagged.

Yamato raised an eyebrow. "But Takeru, Hikari wouldn't sleep around."

"Not usually... but there was one time we... experimented," Takeru admitted.

"Threesome?" Yamato chirped. "With who?"

Takeru looked away. "Foursome- with Tailmon and Patamon."

"Ew." Yamato shuddered. "But what does that have to do with anything?"

"Remember the wings on the sonogram? There is the proof that Patamon is the father," Takeru told him seriously.

"Digimon and humans can't breed. Besides, I thought the wings were a side effect of Hikari and your powers," Yamato countered.

Takeru clenched his fists. "Tell that to Miyako. She's only had sex with Hawkmon and she's a few months pregnant."

Yamato's eyes widen to the point they almost fell out of their sockets. "Miyako is pregnant and Hawkmon is the father?! You sure?"

"You should see the sonogram. The baby already has wings and bird claws. Not to mention when we scanned Tailmon's egg, the baby looks too human for my liking," Takeru related.

Yamato shivered in disgust. "Man, that's like thinking that Jun and V...mon... Hold on a second." He rushed over to the phone and dialed. "Hi, Daisuke. Can I ask you a question? Has Jun ever had sex with V-mon?" He then smirked evilly. "Good. Put her on the line.

"Hi, Jun, did you know digimon and humans can breed? I just found out that they can. And if I'm not mistaken, you're a week more pregnant than when the incident occurred where you claim I slept with you. Which now I am more than certain I did not have sex with you that night. So, if you want the father to support your baby, I'd suggest talking to the little lizard you screwed. Bye-bye." Yamato slammed the phone down and started dancing. "Free at last! Free at last!"

Author's Notes:

I was in a WEIRD mood when I wrote this.

Yes, Sailor Moon pregnancy test kits do exist in Japan. I don't know if they still make them.

If anyone wants to start a series using the children of Takeru/Tailmon, Hikari/Patamon, Jun/Veemon, Miyako/Hawkmon and any other human/digimon pair you might want to add, go for it. Just let me know about it.