A/N: I had to make the whole 'moving to New York' storyline a little bit happier, for all of you and myself, because I'm going slightly insane with all my H/N feels. It's a two-parter btw because posting this bit might make me get my arse into gear and finish it. Enjoy. xo
Love Will Tear Us Apart
"I don't know how to tell you this, Nikki... It's Harry, he's leaving."
Just like that, a thousand thoughts ricochet around your mind and a solitary crack is etched across your heart upon hearing those words. Harry's reasons for leaving rush around your brain but you can't pinpoint a single one and be sure it's true.
You can't bear it.
Your time has been running out quicker than you thought. Your time "to know" has been snatched away from you. You've missed your chance of happiness. Again.
He didn't even have the guts to tell you himself, and he's probably known he was going to leave for a while. He's been living under the same roof as you for over a week now, and the fact he's got a new job somewhere else managed to completely slip his mind. Obviously, being his best friend isn't a good enough reason for him to tell you something so important.
He made Leo tell you that he was leaving you, and he forced him to be there to comfort you when your world crumbled.
'Crumbled' is probably the understatement of the century, as it done far more than that. It practically imploded; crashed and exploded around you and left scattered pieces to fall haphazardly around your lonely self - pieces that you lack the energy and determination to reassemble.
You sit there in silence in the middle of Leo's office, the only sound you can hear being the pounding thumps of your heart beat thundering in your ears, and almost dread finding out more. You can't even comprehend how amazing this job must be if he's willing to abandon your friendship. He's the only person on this Earth who you assumed would never leave you, even though you have a knack of letting go of those closest to you.
"When does he leave?" You ask, your voice heavy and thick with trapped emotions.
"He leaves for New York tomorrow." Leo sighs. New York. Tomorrow. "We're all going to the pub for a few drinks tonight at seven to celebrate Harry's new job and everything. It'd be good if you came too. You can say goodbye properly then."
Today is your last full day with your best friend, and you had absolutely no idea. It's funny how things can change in a few short seconds. For a moment you can't breathe, like it's taking up all the energy in every atom of your being just to take in this information. He's really going. He's really leaving you.
There's a knock at the door behind you, and judging by Leo's expression, you know who it is. You turn to face the visitor, tears threatening to spill at any moment, and your breath catches in your throat as you imagine never being able to see Harry standing in front of you ever again; he's so close yet so far away.
Rising to your feet, you break the eye contact between the two of you and exit the room in absolute silence before heading in the direction of your locker, set on the idea that you're going to have an early night and forget all about it. Harry, however, has other plans as he races after you.
"What makes New York so much better than everything you have here, Harry?" You suddenly ask the second he walks through the door.
He fiddles with the handle of the locker closest to him as if he's trying to assemble a decent explanation (or excuse) for completely abandoning you, he looks down at the floor and sighs, and you suddenly feel as though you're a real couple having your first lover's tiff, despite the two of you arguing almost constantly throughout the years.
"Professorships don't come along very often, Nikki, this is an amazing opportunity for me." He says finally.
"I know it is, and I'm happy for you, I just don't understand why you didn't tell me."
"I didn't know what to say." He replies.
"You could've at least tried for yourself instead of making Leo do it."
"I didn't make Leo do it. He told me that if I didn't tell you soon, he'd tell you himself. I was going to tell you today, I promise, he just got there first." He looks like he's telling the truth, and you hear his voice crack a little with emotion, but you're still hurt.
"I really am happy for you, Harry." You pull him in for a hug and breathe in his scent; it's so distinctively 'Harry' that you begin to wish you could bottle it and keep it forever - you're certain it could help solve all your troubles. You back away and smile brightly in the hope it'll make you look less like you're going to cry.
Exiting the room before he has the chance to reply, you mentally kick yourself for being so bloody selfish. You lied. You should be happy for him. But, once again, you let your feelings for him get in the way. You can't possibly live without him.
"Can you make it to the pub tonight then?" Harry asks as he sits down at his desk opposite yours.
"Of course, a drink and a decent goodbye is the least you owe me after having to put up with you for the past eight years."
"Oh, well, I am sorry." He replies, feigning guilt, before regaining his composure and pretending to do some work. "I don't think I'll be home tonight, I'm going to see my mother before I leave and then straight to the pub."
"Oh right. What does she think about it all?"
"She's happy for me, I guess." He shrugs.
"I can't tell whether she's happy about me getting the job, or happy to be finally getting rid of me."
"I think everyone is happy about the latter, Harry." You joke, the amused smile playing on your lips mirroring his.
Just saying goodbye to him when he leaves the Lyell that afternoon, even though it wasn't going to be for very long, hurt a little bit. Like the pain in your chest is getting stronger and more difficult to fight everytime you think about him moving far away.
It's not until you get back to your apartment that you notice the small hints he's unknowingly left for you. Some of the bottles of his shower gel in the bathroom have disappeared, his favourite cereal has ran out and hasn't been replaced yet, there's less of his clothes in his wardrobe than there was before. All these silly little things signalling his impending departure had been completely ignored by you, simply because you were under the erroneous impression that he couldn't possibly leave you. Not ever. Especially not now.
The familiar empty feeling in your apartment begins to seep in; the raw anguish of the situation so palpable in the air it makes it hard to take satisfying breaths.
In a moment of erratic panic, you glance at the clock on the wall. 6 o'clock. You have exactly one hour to mentally and physically prepare yourself to say goodbye to your best friend.
And that comes with the possibility of your life never being the same ever again.
This may sound really long and boring, and I'm sorry but I promise it's going somewhere, just give it a chance! Next part will be up as soon as it's finished (which won't be long, I promise), providing I finally manage to work out how the ending is going to go.
Reviews would make me very happy, especially as I've been grounded all week after being my usual mischievous self and manged to get myself into A LOT of trouble! Again. ;D
So yeah, please please please let me know what you think, even if you do think it's a load of shite. xo