"You guys are completely insane, you know that?"
I watched as my two friends jammed out to some song called Winter Wrap Up for the third time in a row. It was another one of their stupid brony songs. My friends, Axel and Brycen, are two huge bronies. Brycen is around six feet tall, about the same as me. He's slightly larger than me, and was the only one of us that needed glasses. Then there was Axel, who is about half a foot taller than us. Not only was he taller than us, but he was also the only one of us to have a car or a girlfriend. Although I'm certain that she thinks that him being a brony is just as strange as I do. Normally, I don't really care about them being bronies, but when I'm forced to listen to this stupid pony music, that's when it starts to annoy me. We're on our way to Axel's house for a bro night. Plenty of wings, Mountain Dew, and Xbox. Normally, I'd be excited right now about getting to enjoy a good night, but the unbearable music that Axel was blasting in his car while he drove was making that pretty hard.
"Come on Morgan, you can't tell me that you don't like Winter Wrap Up even a little bit," Brycen asked me as he looked back to the back seat where I was sitting. "You got to admit, this song is pretty sweet."
"It was ok the first time that you guys played it, but now it's annoying the living hell out of me. Could you guys please put on something else?"
I could see Axel grin through the reflection on the rear view mirror.
"Well since you asked so nicely."
Axel pressed a button on his radio and a new song came on, and once again they both began to sing along as soon as it began.
"My name is Pinkie Pie! And I am here to say, I'm gonna make you smile, and I will brighten up your day!"
"Kill me now."
After another 10 grueling minutes of pony music, we finally made it to Axel's house. As soon as we pulled into his driveway, I threw open the car door and jumped out, automatically turning off the car radio in the process.
"Freedom! Dear sweet lord freedom at last!"
Brycen stepped out of the passenger seat.
"Kind of overdoing it, don't you think Morgan?"
"Coming from one of the guys that played non stop My Little Pony music for 30 minutes?"
Axel also stepped out of the car after turning it off. He motioned for us to head on inside.
"Gentlemen, shall we?"
We walked into his house, automatically greeted by the lemony scent of his house, and the sight of pictures of Axel and his family on the walls. I made a bee line straight for his bedroom to jump right into the Xbox playing. I needed some good old fashioned videogame violence and fun to clear my mind of the music I had just been subject to. The room was no different than how it usually is. There were various videogame posters hanging from the walls, dirty laundry and clothes hangers resting on his bean bag chair, and empty cans of Mountain Dew on the shelf where his pictures and mirror were. As I looked around the room, however, I noticed a distinct lack of an Xbox. Then I looked back to see both Brycen and Axel standing behind me with their arms crossed.
"Actually Morgan, we have something in mind for you before we start with the videogames," Axel said to me. "Brycen, administer the DVD."
Brycen walked over to Axel's DVD player and put in a disc. He then turned on the TV as the DVD started up.
"What is this?"
"What this is, Morgan, is an experiment. We have a DVD for you to watch," Brycen told me.
I looked back to the TV screen, as a logo for Hasbro was popping up. Hasbro? They can't be...
"No way guys. I watched the damn pony show twice now."
"Correction," Axel said. "You've attempted to watch it twice. You quit early each time before the episode could get really good. Brycen and I thought it over, and we've decided that it's time that you finally give the show a full chance."
The first commercial on the DVD came on the TV. It was a commercial for an older generation of the My Little Pony cartoon. Both of my friends looked at the commercial in horror and quickly pressed the skip button on the DVD remote, making a commercial for the current cartoon that they loved come on, and then they turned back to me.
"This here is Axel's copy of The Friendship Express," Brycen told me. "It has five episodes on it. You're going to sit through each episode to decide once and for all if you like it or not."
"And what makes you think I'm actually going to sit through this garbage?"
"Simple. If you sit through all of these episodes without quitting, and still don't like it, then we'll never mention the show to you again," Axel told me.
Never hearing about the show from them again? That was too good to pass up. Five episodes on the DVD would amount to a little over an hour and a half. Sounds about fair for never having to watch it again afterwards.
"If it means you guys are never going to annoy me about it again, fine. What are the two of you going to do while I watch this though?"
"Well, we've got to run by the store and get some snacks and drinks. Then we've got to go pick up a pizza, and rent some videogames. By the time we get back from doing all of that, the DVD should be over," Axel stated.
"Fine. Let's get this over with then."
"Alrighty. Brycen, begin the pony."
Brycen pointed the remote at the DVD player and pressed the play all option, and the first episode on the disc began. It started with a very girly looking storybook thing. This was going to be lamer than I thought.
"Enjoy dude. See you in a bit."
After Axel said this, he and Brycen left me there to myself to watch the show. I heard them go out the front door, and pull out of the driveway. The thoughts of leaving the room, or stopping the DVD and watching TV instead immediately occurred to me, but I decided not to. Knowing those two, they would probably quiz me about the episodes when they got back, so I ought as well get this over with now. As the cringeworthy intro theme started, I took a seat on the bed and braced myself for whatever the DVD had in store for me.
First two episodes are done now. They were alright I guess, but nothing really special. Certainly nothing to convince me to be a brony. Only three episodes left. Hopefully they go by quickly. The next episode was now starting. The country pony was making her friends help her take a tree to her cousins or something like that. Her putting the tree under covers and taking care of it was kind of funny, but still nothing that great. Here comes that god awful intro theme again. Whoever came up with that thing deserves jail time.
As the episode went along for a bit, they had some buffalo, and they kidnapped the tree and the dragon. The blue pony and pink pony went after them, and met up with the buffalo. I kind of do like the pink one, but only because she's so over the top. Still nothing good enough to make me a permanent fan of the show. The buffalo and country ponies are in an argument over owning land. I'll give the people who make the show credit, a cowboys and Indians type feud isn't something you'd normally see in an average little girl's show, but again, it was nothing spectacular. That pink pony has some kind of way to resolve the problem it seems. The dragon is wearing a hat for no reason at all and at a piano...oh god, she's going to sing again isn't she?
"We may be divided, But of you all, I beg. To remember we're all hoofed, at the end of each leg."
That would be a yes.
So the pink pony is now dancing around singing to the buffalo and cowboy ponies that they have to share and have to care. The song sounds pretty lame, so I find it funny that the audience in the show looks like they at least think the same thing about it. Also, what's up with her outfit in this song? That doesn't look like something any little girls should think about wearing. Now the song is over and the leader buffalo and sheriff pony are in an agreement. That was the worst thing they've ever heard? Wow the show actually got me to laugh.
"Ha, I can't believe the characters are actually aware of how bad the singing is."
"Hey, it wasn't that bad!"
I froze. Who the hell just said that? I looked at the TV and the pink pony was now looking straight at the screen. It looked a lot like she was looking at me.
"Ok...I must be going crazy right now. Yeah that's it. Watching this show has been so unbearable that I'm going crazy."
"Now you listen here mister smarty pants, I think my singing is pretty darn good."
The cartoon horse was for sure talking to me.
"Yep, I've gone crazy."
"You haven't gone crazy silly! You're just talking to me."
Now this was starting to get freaky. It seemed so real, but this had to be some kind of hallucination. I wasn't really talking to her...was I?
"You can really see and hear me? I'm really talking to a cartoon right now?"
"No, my name isn't "A Cartoon" you silly head. It's Pinkie Pie!"
"This is insane. This can't be real."
"Of course it is! Hey, how about I bring you in here and show you Equestria. Ooooh, wouldn't that be exciting? What do you say?"
I was cut off by the surprise of the hyperactive pink pony literally jumping through the TV screen and landing in Axel's room. She was pretty tall, probably reaching up to my chest.
"Come on, lets go!"
I didn't have time to respond as Pinkie Pie jumped behind me, and pushed me towards the TV. Rather than hiting the screen, I went through it just like she had done. I was freaking out, and before I knew it, everything around me went black.
Brycen and I were finally back from getting stuff for the night. It had been about an hour and fifty minutes, so the DVD should have been just now ending. I'm almost positive that Morgan is a brony by now. I got out and carried in the bags of snacks and video games, while Brycen carried in the pizza and drinks. We walked into the house and set the stuff down in the kitchen. I ran to my bedroom, eager to see if Morgan had enjoyed the episodes.
"Hey dude, we're back! So how did you like the-"
I stopped. The DVD menu was going normally, but Morgan was nowhere to be seen. Brycen walked in behind me and also noticed our friend's absence.
"Axel...where's Morgan at?"
"I don't know man, check the house. He should be around here somewhere. I'll check outside."
We fanned out and searched for Morgan. We looked for hours, checking the whole block for our friend, but for some reason, he seemed to have completely vanished. I called his family, and they had not seen him either. Something was wrong. Brycen and I were starting to worry that something had happened to him.
"Axel, dude, where do you think he could be?"
"I...I don't know. He isn't here, he isn't at his parent's, heck, I don't even think he's in this city right now."
"Well if he isn't here...where is he?"