A/N: Okay, I have another Chapter five on my other laptop, but since I still haven't gotten it fixed, I'm putting this chapter up instead! Please don't hate me!

Reviews: 3 you all! Still no questions and no pairings! I like plenty of them, but I want to see how long I can do one without making couples of all the members. I'm so looking forward to the next movie as well!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, but I am mighty fond of them. Please review and send your love for the fanfiction!


Pear Shaped

Definition: something that goes wrong, becomes a disaster

Chapter 5: The Right Hand

Harry stepped out of the plane with a sigh of relief. The small cottage hadn't moved from its last position so he wouldn't need to do another point me spell like the last time he had visited. But then again, what could one expect when the couple you were visiting was made up of a notorious and infamous prankster and a seer. It was practically common sense to expect weird things to happen. Ignoring the looks of confusion the rest of the group was giving him about stopping in the middle of nowhere next a rather large bush he strode towards it. The rest of the group watched him in a mixture of interest and confusion as he walked up to the bush and then walked through it.

"Holy shit!" Tony exclaimed through his mask ignoring Jarvus' admonishment for language. Steve took it a bit better though he was rather surprised as well.

"Did he just disappear through a bush?!" Natasha asked sharply. Loki who hadn't seen the action merely sneered.

"Blind filth! What is so miraculous about disappearing through a bush? Do the commonalities done by smaller and equally stupid beings as you petty creatures confound you?! Once I become king I will—" His voice was cut off when Thor hauled him up and shoved him into the onboard supply closet.

"Shall we go after him?" Thor asked after finishing up. He loved his brother dearly, but he was quite annoying when he started ranting. That, sadly, hadn't changed from their childhood.


Harry walked through the ward and winced when a few moments later he a loud thump of one of the others hitting it in an attempt to follow him. Since they were non-magical, with the exception of maybe Thor, Bruce, and Loki, he was guessing Tony had tried and been thrown away. Shaking his head he strode up to the bright blue door in the front of the orange polka-dotted house and knocked. After a few moments the door swung open and he was engulfed in a hug.

"Harry!" A familiar red head said with a wide smile. "What are you doing here? I heard from Ron that you were out of the country on business! Luna'll be pleased to see you."

"Hullo, George," Harry said with a smile as he stepped through. "I am out of the country, just stopped into …"

"Pick me up." Luna said coming into the living room. The red head merely sighed. The two were used to Luna's uncanny ability of knowing. After graduation her powers had fully emerged and the 'strange animals' she'd been seeing had cumulated into visions instead of abstract shapes that she'd mistaken as creatures. She still believed in them of course, but she also knew what she was seeing now. Her hair was still long and blond, her eyes still dreamy, but she'd grown a few more centimeters and filled out and had more curves than she did while in school. George held out and arm and she walked over to snuggle into him as he wrapped an arm around her.

"I still get surprised by how immediate your visions are." Harry stated with a grin. The blond smiled back.

"I haven't heard about any mission details through Commander," Luna said growing serious. Harry shook his head with a sigh focusing.

"You wouldn't, Unspeakable." Harry replied. George and Luna had started dating three years after Luna graduated and married roughly a year ago. Many of the members in Dumbledore's Army now worked within the Ministry as officials, Aurors, and Unspeakables. However, only three had moved past the regular grade into a higher one like Harry. Of those three, only Luna was female.

"How high does this go?" George asked worriedly. The joke shop, under both Harry's funding and George's marketing abilities, had prospered and expanded. Fred, having taken debilitating injuries during the Final Battle, was the backbone of the product department. His wife Angela, a nurse and former Gryffindor Quidditch Chaser, oversaw that he didn't overwork himself to the point of collapse. The WWW group had long since expanded into other fields, especially Magical Defense and had a long standing contract with the Ministry of Magic and Fred was even known to go in and work with the Unspeakables in the Developing Magical Defense Department from time to time.

"Nothing that would earn you money yet," Harry said with a bit of humor and the other man relaxed. Harry had only been on three assignments that qualified as 'profitable' for the Weasley twins' business, and all three had ended Harry and or his people into some of the direst of straights. "It is something that'll make Fred squeal and then panic about though." Harry cautioned and the other Weasley twin paled again. There were twenty-six classifications in the Unspeakables. Harry, being a commander, had clearance for all but the very top three unless under specific orders by the Department of Mysteries Head, Captain Wolfgang Peter Smith. The general public, unlike the Weasley twins who clearance at about twelve since they were contractors and Luna who as a Unspeakable specifically a Lieutenant had a clearance of maybe fifteen in peace time but up to the highest when during a crisis or a mission, had a clearance of roughly nine depending on their specialties and general intelligence. Those of lower intelligence (Fudge would be an excellent example) might even bottom out at three, the same as Muggles. Those members in Azkaban, and depending on their lucidity, were ranged at one (comatose but retaining memories of deeds as a magical member of society but no ability to discuss it thus making them 'safe') to about eighteen(highly influential dark members of the Inner Circle or former and now rouge Unspeakables that were still functional in any sense).

"What's the clearance Commander?" Luna asked before earning a glare of reprisal. Although she was a lieutenant and served as Harry's personal aide and secretary, she had been with the department for over three years and made this casual slip up from time to time. Harry having been her commander for roughly seven, nearly eight years, made it easy for her to follow, but it led to a lot of familiarity that tripped up the blond. "Sorry." Harry nodded stiffly before saying.

"You're going on official duty, Unspeakable, don your robes." Harry ordered her. Luna nodded and kissed George on the check before vanishing down the hall. George eyed Harry worriedly. Harry glanced at him with a brief smile.

"I'll bring her back in one piece, George, you can count on that." The taller wizard nodded and the two caught up on the different things that had been going on while Harry was away on vacation then on work. The witch returned while the pair was arguing about presents for Teddy.

"You are not going to get my five year old a racing broom! He already had three different models of training brooms and two different ball sets with hoops! All from you and Fred if I might add!" Harry snapped back.

"You can't still be sore about me and Fred getting his first training broom for him! You just can't!" George yelled back. Harry scowl grew darker at that mention and the red head's mouth snapped shut and he stepped back.

"I told you I was getting him one for his first birthday. I told you and you two went out and got it for him for Christmas! Nearly EIGHT months of planning for his first birthday and you go ahead and—" Harry said before growling incomprehensibly making the red head back up further.

"I'm ready Commander Phoenix." The now red robe garbed witch said. Her robes were lined with pewter instead of gold, and the borders a matching black and gold to Harry's denoting her position as an Unspeakable in the Hit Wizard groups as well as who her commander was. Harry straightened and brushed at his robes irritably before nodding.

"Very well," Harry said stiffly. He glared briefly at his Lieutenant's husband. "I'll let you two make your goodbyes. I'll be outside when you're finished Luna." His red robes swirled around him before he strode through the door letting it snap quietly shut behind him. Luna turned to George and offered him a dreamy smile.

"You're going to be careful right?" Her husband asked with a note of worry in his voice. Her dreamy and dazed expression sharpened and grew warm.

"Of course I am," Luna said shifting closer and wrapping her arms around his neck. Automatically, George curled his own around her waist tugging her closer. "You know Harry won't let anything happen to me. We haven't lost a wizard or witch yet since he became Commander. Plus I have my Magic ConCom and cell phone so you can reach me through them." George was silently thankful for his father's interest in Muggle items and Hermione's patience in teaching the Weasleys how to use them. It allowed the whole group to keep in touch easier. It made for interesting timed calls from strangely named places like Timbuktu and Budapest, but he had never been more thankful than to receive that first phone call after Luna and Harry had finished a mission and called to tell him that they'd be home in a few hours.

"Call me when you're finished or if you need help?" He whispered against the soft skin of her neck and he breathed in the scent of her hair. He smiled softly before moving past and kissing her forehead. Luna smiled at her husband before nodding. Their lips met and they tasted each other's familiar flavor. Luna a mix of tea and mint, George almost spicy from the Pepper Imps he had when he was thinking things through. "Stay safe," he whispered when the broke apart and she picked up the bags she'd dropped to the floor during their embrace. Pausing at the front door she glanced over her shoulder dreamily and said.

"I'll be back, and that's not a promise. It's a vision."


Harry appeared back through the bush with a slender figure that was even smaller than him. The woman was smaller than anyone else aboard, a tiny delicate thing topping off at probably five-three, five-four. Her long blond hair was French braided and her eyes a pale blue that was a mixture of alert, dreamy, and gentle. Her pale form was garbed in a similar outfit to Harry's although it wasn't as stately or impressive.

"Lieutenant," Steve straightened at the use of a military term, as did Natasha. Tony merely smirked charmingly which Luna ignored. Thor cocked his head at the tiny thing but refrained from saying anything, the last time he had underestimated a woman he'd been shot by a gun holding lightning in its grasp. He had no interest in repeating the experience, especially with someone who had the Man Who Flew on Actual Wings abilities. "Lieutenant," Harry repeated, "these are the… Avengers?" It was a question and those entirely familiar with the term shifted a bit awkwardly. Luna merely nodded. "The one in blue and red is Captain America, or Captain Steve Rodgers," Luna bowed and Steve copied it rather awkwardly. "The one in battle dress," Tony smirked at the word dress, "is his highness Prince Thor Odinson of the Planet and Kingdom Asgard," Luna bowed lower this time and met Thor's clasp and well met with a bright smile. "The red head is Agent Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow." The two women checked each other out before giving each other a nod. Harry pointed at Tony, "The beaten up flying tin can man calls himself Iron Man, I personally prefer idiot man. When he's out of that contraption he calls himself Anthony "Tony" Stark. If he pisses you off I won't save him." Luna's grin was slightly feral as she looked the man over. Tony shot Harry a dirty look. "You piss her off there will be nothing I can do for your hair or suit." The billionaire cocked an eyebrow in question both magical folk smiled innocently putting the billionaire on edge. Maybe he wouldn't piss them off immediately, it seemed healthier that way.

"Everyone this is my right hand and aide, Lieutenant Artemis. When we're out of uniform she goes by Luna Weasley." Harry finished. The group did a series of polite comments.

"Let's go shall we?" Steve said as he ushered them aboard. "Ma'am," he said stepping aside for Luna and Natasha to go ahead. Harry smiled at him and Thor studied it before following the women and the wizard aboard. Tony sneered but stumped aboard. Letting out a breathe, Steve glanced around the leafy hollow and climbed aboard as well.


Staring out through his window on the second and top floor of their small rather plump cottage, George watched as the strange contraption flew off with his wife. "Just come back safe and in one piece Luna," he murmured. "That's all I'm asking." Gripping his wand he then turned to the fireplace and grabbed the floo powder. It was time to get the Floo vine going and the Weasleys, Longbottoms, and other friends and family notified and prepared. Harry coming here specifically was a sign that something big was going on, no matter how he underplayed it. So, by George, the prankster smirked at the pun, he was going to make sure all of Wizarding Britain was prepared and armed.

After all, the Weasleys always, always put family first.