In the end it didn't make a matter.

Jerry had taught him, as Officers, even they weren't infallible. He had sometimes forgotten that they too were like the rest, just walking containers of blood and water. Fallible, breakable. That was why he ended things with her. To protect her; to protect himself.

Nash was barely holding it together, the despair bleeding out of her pores. It was his fault of course. Who else was there to blame? Jerry trusted him to have his back, always. It must have been his fault, right? In hindsight he could see his foolhardiness.

Promise me one thing. If things go south with us, don'tdon't just walk out the door.

Watching her coffin being lowered felt worse knowing that he robbed them of time. It didn't hurt any less. He wishes he could go back, so he would know that it didn't matter. That breaking them apart wouldn't matter in the end. Losing her would still hurt. It felt like losing a limb, but somehow worse.

He could live without the limb.