A/n has it been a while? Sorry if it has, but you've gotta admit I've managed to update once a week. I'll try to do more. Thanks so much for all your reviews you guys :D

RECAP: Said Fem! Merlin irritably: we need to figure out a way to get rid of the ten Merlins that climbed on to Kilgharrah's back today."

I have an idea, thought Arthur sourly, fingering his sword as he remembered how the Merlins had laughed at him earlier. Mind reader! Merlin hastened to scurry away and hide behind a tree.

"Arthur, no killing," scolded Gwen. She turned to Fem! Merlin. "So, what are we going to do?"

Fem! Merlin smiled slyly. "I've got a few tricks up my sleeve..."


The Merlins were running wild. It had been twenty-four hours since Fem! Merlin had told them of her plan, and she'd been working on it for hours.

"What do you mean you need to 'work on it'?" Arthur had asked, his brow burrowing in confusion. "Can't you just, you know…?"

Fem! Merlin huffed. "Snap my fingers and make it happen? No, I cannot. Complicated spells take time and preparation, something that bone idle kings wouldn't understand. Plus, I need time to book my spa appointment for when we get out of here."

Arthur stayed silent for a while. Then, he said "Why don't you just snap your fingers and get us out of here?" He looked around at their Merlins (The Merlins had formed two groups in the knights and Gwen's minds. 'Their' Merlins were the ones they had brought with them, and the others were the ones that had simply joined without asking.) "Why won't any of you just zap Merlin back here, and tell us how to get out of here? I'm sure you all know."

Another silence followed, broken by Love! Merlin, who was now called Sappy! Merlin, as Gwaine had convinced him to promise not to fall in love with anyone on this trip after the *cough* incident when he'd proposed to Gwen. He'd agreed, mostly to stop Arthur tearing his face off. "It's something you all need to find for yourself."

After seeing their confused faces, he cleared his throat and launched into a poem:

During a journey on a quest

You find an answer, two or three

To a question, I think I know yours:

What are Merlins loyalties?

Gwaine whistled. "You've gotten better, mate." The knights and Gwen stared at him. That was one of the worst poems they'd ever heard.

"What? At least it didn't have anything about love, flowers or chocolate in it".

They shrugged, and turned their faces to Arthur. They need the answer to the question. What were Merlin's loyalties? He was King. It was his decision.

But his response surprised them all. He stared at each of them in turn, looking incredulous. At last, he looked at Kilgharrah, who had been silent for this entire exchange. They locked eyes for a moment, and then Kilgharrah turned away. Then Arthur exploded.

"Are you guys serious? All this time, we've been looking…Do you guys even…How can you call yourselves his friends…Why the hell…Are you serious?!..." This was the general gist of what he was saying, amidst all the swearing and shouting he was doing. He ended it with something along the line of "So, yes, you lot, I'm pretty sure where Merlin's loyalties lie, and they're with us!" and did this with particular venom, before storming off to a crowd of cheers from the Merlins.

Gwen and the knights stared at each other, sharing the same thought: Uh-oh.

The next day (or, chapter fourteen as there's an A/n at the start of it) -

A/n This shall be done in the form of a play. Why? Because I felt like it.

Merlinland, a hill.

The knights are pacing back and forth with worried expressions. Guinevere is sitting on a log. The Merlins are off doing Merlin stuff.

Gwen: (sighing, getting off the log) I suppose I'd better go and find him.

Leon: (stepping forward, sword by his side) I'll come with you, my lady. It may be dangerous.

Gwen: (shaking her head) No, it's better if I go alone. You should get some sleep, Leon, you were up patrolling all last night.

Leon nods, and Gwen walks off into the distance.

AU! Merlin: She's so sweet, isn't she? I mean, you'd never guess she'd turn evil in season five.

Leon: what?

AU! Merlin: (gasps) Sorry, spoiler alert.

Leon: (shakes his head) Never mind. Do me a favor would you? (Points at the knights) Amuse them for a while as I catch a few winks.

AU! Merlin: Sure, least I can do. That season is pretty awesome, after all.

_Scene 1 Act 2_

Fem! Merlin is walking back up the hill with all the other Merlins, hearing strange noises. She reaches the top of the hill. Her jaw drops.

Fem! Merlin: (loudly) what are you doing?

The knights and AU! Merlin are on the hill, standing on their heads.

AU! Merlin: Leon told me to amuse them.

Gwaine: We're playing Simon Says. And the blood is all rushing to my head. You wanna join?

AU! Merlin: Gwaine, Simon is not going to ask her to kiss you! Simon says stand up.

The knights get to their feet, moaning.

Arthur: (grumbling) I'm the King. Why have we gotta do what Simon says? I'll chop his head off!

Elyan: (teasing) Careful, Arthur. Sounding a bit like Uther there!

Fem! Merlin's jaw drops even further. The other Merlins clamber onto the hill.

Fem! Merlin: You're back!

Arthur: (smiles) Yes, Gwen convinced me to come back.

Gwen waves from where she is standing (yet another hill) with Kilgharrah, picking thorns out of his behind from where he'd sat on a porcupine. Why there were porcupines in Merlin's mind, they didn't know, but Arthur said it explained a lot.

Percival: (taking Baby! Merlin from Musician Merlin's arms) We really are sorry, Arthur, we didn't mean to- Oh, someone needs their nappy changed!

Gwaine: Get it away from me, get it away!


Gwaine: The name PP really does sound ironic now, doesn't it?

Percival: (swatting at Gwaine) Shut up!

Arthur: its fine, guys. You know, just forget about me, the upset friend who ran away yesterday night to sleep in a cave.

Arthur is ignored. Percival continues swatting at Gwaine with Baby! Merlin in his arms until Gwaine falls down. Gwen giggles as she walks back up the hill.

Arthur: (trying to not look like he was just ignored and puts his Im-the-King-and-Im-in-charge face on, turns to Fem! Merlin) So, what's this big idea of yours?

Fem! Merlin: (smirks in a way eerily reminiscent of Morgana, but way more awesome because she's…Merlin) I'll tell you. What's the one thing that no Merlin can resist saving?


Gwen: Purple silk dresses?

Percival: (rocking Baby! Merlin) Babies? Cute adorable babies?

Gwaine: (getting up from where Percival knocked him down, swaying a little) Beer?

Fem! Merlin: Nope! It's…

She waves her hand, and suddenly ten blue eyed, blond haired men stand in front of them.

Fem! Merlin:...Arthur!

Gwen, the Merlins and knights stare at the ten Arthurs. Slash! Merlin looks like he's in heaven. Or like he's going to pass out. And Arthur…Arthur does pass out….

A/n …Leaving an nice little cliffie for you guys(hence all the elipses). Pease review : D