Hey everyone! So I decided to create a one-shot...a very long one-shot haha this may be the longest one i've written yet. I decided to take a break from my dark fic, "I'm Broken", and write a fluffy, angsty fic. I'm not on hiatus for my other fic, I'm actually in the middle of the next chapter, I just wanted to write something else.
Sorry for the lack of everything lately! I've been busy lately, I had my birthday last week actually so I had to celebrate the fact I'm just getting older xD This fic may be long but do give it a chance. If you spot errors let me know! I hate spelling mistakes and it's hard to go through this long of fic and spot every little thing.
I do not own South Park or the characters. This does have sexual content, so I have warned you. No flames, because they're rude and inconsiderate. I do like criticism but being mean accomplishes nothing because no one likes someone who bashes others fics.
Being an 18-year-old living in South Park has its ups and downs. Mostly downs. I've been quite lucky with having quite a few close friends, getting average grades and being the star quarterback on the school's football team.
Living in South Park isn't the greatest. It's a very small town with very little to do, and the people here are very bizarre. But I'm used to it after being here for so long. It's my home, and I wouldn't change a thing about it. So many weird things have happened that they're all good memories now, that I shared with those I care about.
The biggest pro of living here is that it holds the most important person in my life. Kyle Broflovski. We've been super best friends since practically since the day we were born. Almost three months ago, our friendship blossomed into something more. I finally got the courage to ask him out and I'll never forget the enormous smile that he wore that day as he said yes.
"Stan? Hello? You're totally spacing out, dude." Kenny's voice echoes in my head as it brings me out of my daydreaming about the past. A tiny balled up piece of paper hits me in the head.
"Oh, sorry, man. What did you say?" I pick the paper up and toss it back at him, rolling my eyes at how annoying he can be.
"I said we should go out for lunch. I'm sick of eating the cafeteria food."
"Oh, sure. What about Kyle?"
"He just ran out of class after the teacher. Probably bitching about only getting a 97 percent on the test." He chuckles to himself as I roll my eyes yet again. Everyone always picks on Kyle for being too smart and the fact that he complains if he doesn't get a perfect mark.
"Alright, well…let's go then before Cartman finds out we're going." We quickly scoop our books from our desks, rushing past the few students who are still socializing in the classroom.
"Yeah…you're paying though…" He mumbles the last part and I can't help but chuckle. Should have figured I was going to be treating him.
We quickly stop by our lockers, throwing our books in and I snatch my wallet, making sure I have enough money. We decide to go to the small restaurant that only takes about 3 minutes to walk to. It's close, and most importantly, it's cheap but still has great food.
"So, how are you and Kyle doing? Still going out?" Kenny randomly asks as I take a sip of my cola. He's never been interested in our relationship before.
"Uh, yeah. It's going well, actually. We're both extremely happy." He gobbles the mini pizza in front of him, like he hasn't eaten in ages. Pizza sauce is smeared over his lips, and I come to the conclusion it would be fun to not tell him.
"Are…are you sure it's the best idea to be going out with your best friend?" He asks as I'm about to take a bite of my sandwich.
"What do you mean? I told you, we're happy. That's what should matter, right?" My phone buzzes in my pocket and I check to see a text from Kyle, asking where we are.
"I mean if you guys break up or fight, things might not be the same between you." He explains in a serious tone as I respond to Kyle, telling him the name of the restaurant we're at.
"Ken, thanks, but we're fine." I take a bite of my sandwich, looking out of the window, trying not to pay attention to what Kenny is saying.
"Stan, I think you guys should br-" A familiar, pissed off voice, cuts off Kenny's sentence.
"Hey fags. You think you guys can go out for lunch without me?" We turn our heads to see the angry, fatass Cartman standing there with his pudgy arms crossed.
"Oh, hello Cartman. We were going to invite you but we couldn't find you." Kenny says in an innocent voice and I can't help but snicker behind my hand, which earns me a deadly glare.
"Yeah, ha ha, move over poor boy. I'm not sitting with the fag. Oh and you have food over your face." He practically sits on Kenny, forcing him to move closer to the wall. A silent giggle escapes my lips as I watch Kenny wipe the sauce off of his face.
"Cartman, what the fuck? You didn't have to sit on me. You could have killed me, fat ass!" He shoves him on the shoulder roughly, which doesn't even make him budge at all.
"Screw you. Where's the waiter? I'm fucking starving." His large fists bang on the table, probably thinking that the waiter will stop what he's doing just to come serve him.
"Aren't you always?" I mutter under my breath, listening to him bitch about how gay I am, as if that really affects anything to do with him.
"Where's your little boyfriend, Stan? Off being a sneaky Jew?" My head tosses back against the headrest on the booth, annoyed at him constantly picking on us. Especially about Kyle being Jewish. How does being Jewish make someone a bad person?
"Cartman, seriously, shut the hell up." A sigh of relief passes through my lips when the waiter comes and takes Cartman's extremely long order.
"Hey guys!" A smile replaces my frown as Kyle appears, out of breath from probably rushing to get here. He plops down beside me, cheeks tinted a lovely pink as he lets out tiny pants.
"Oh great, look who's here…another fag." Kyle quickly looks at me while he ignores Cartman's comment.
"Sorry, I had to go talk to the teacher for a minute." He explains as he removes his coat, still attempting to catch his breath. My hands fiddle nervously on the table as I take another sip of my drink. Oh don't drop the drink, Stan...
I love the fact that even after three months of dating, my heart still bursts with happiness from him just sitting next to me with our thighs lightly touching. The waiter brings a menu to Kyle and Cartman bitches about the fact he won't get his food until Kyle decides what he wants.
"No one cares, Jew." Kyle looks taken aback for a split second before he turns to me again and gives me a sweet smile, showing those two rows of perfect, sparkling white teeth.
"Hi." His voice is quiet, and he only focuses on me. As if I'm the only one at the table.
"H-hi." He brings his hand up and places it on my cheek, pulling me closer to him. I shiver slightly at the coolness of his skin on my now burning hot cheeks. Our lips meet for a very brief, but delicate kiss. The feeling of his icy lips on mine make my whole body quiver in delight.
"Ugh, god, you guys are gonna make me hurl." We pull away, only to chuckle at Cartman's disgust. Kyle's cheeks are dusted with a lovely pink shade. I notice Kenny just staring at us with a blank expression, like he's conspiring something.
"Get a room!" We hear a voice from within the restaurant, which kind of sounds like Craig's voice. We also hear a few girls giggle in delight at the scene they just witnessed.
Kyle finally orders his own food, and Cartman finally receives his, even after he got mad and whined at the fact he wouldn't get his until Kyle did. We all eat in silence as we listen to Cartman bitch about school, how slow the food is here and about how gay Kyle and I are. I watch Kenny as his gaze wanders back and fourth from Kyle to me. What is he thinking about? I can't help but wonder. What was he going to say before Cartman showed up?
After pigging out, the four of us walk back to the school together. Kyle and I walk next to each other behind Cartman and Kenny so our gloved hands can intertwine together with Kyle resting his head on my shoulder. The red curls tickle my neck and they cause me to shiver, but I do it subtly so I don't disturb Kyle.
The rest of the afternoon classes go surprisingly quickly, and I stare at Kyle and think about the first kiss we shared while probably wearing a large grin on my face. It was wonderful and awkward at the same time, but it was perfect. I remember how shocked he was at first, but then melted into the kiss and returned it with equal passion.
When the bell rings, announcing the end of the school day, I pop up and head towards Kyle with my books under my arm. The moment I reach him, I can feel my heart pick up the pace and I start to sweat. God, why am I such a friggin wuss?
"Hey. You wanna walk home together?" I ask in a hopeful voice, hoping he says yes. Holding hands again and kissing him goodbye always makes my day complete.
"Ah, I have to actually go talk to the teacher again, so I have to stay here for a bit. Sorry, Stan…" I shrug in disappointment and as I'm about to walk away, he leans up and pecks me on the cheek.
"I'll see you tomorrow. Text me tonight though, okay?" I nod, trying to hide the fact I'm upset about this. You're stronger than that, Stan…
I stride out of the classroom before he notices anything. While I'm getting over being dejected, a hand finds it's way on my shoulder, causing me to flinch and let out a shrill gasp.
"Whoa, sorry. Didn't mean to scare you." Kenny hurriedly releases my shoulder and snickers at how frightened I am.
"You…didn't scare me." I state, trying to convince him but the way he's looking at me tells me he doesn't.
"Sure, sure. Anyways, I overheard Kyle saying he couldn't walk home with you. You're not taking the bus?" We reach my locker and he leans up against it with his bag draped over his arm.
"Ah, no. It's a nice day out, so I thought I'd walk home with you…plus the bus smells weird, dude." He laughs in agreement.
"Dude, it's cold out. Anyway, I'll walk home with you then. I don't want to be alone with fatass. He smells." It's hard to be upset when Kenny is around, especially when that statement is totally true.
"Yeah sure, let's go." I finish packing my bag, toss it over my shoulder and as we walk down the hall, I spot Kyle still in the classroom, wishing he were walking with me. He doesn't notice me but I take in his appearance. Those flaming red curls, those gorgeous, soft hazelnut colored eyes and his perfectly shaped nose, which isn't big like some other Jewish people. He isn't the tallest boy in the school, and he's very thin with very little muscle. But that doesn't matter. My heart beats at how gorgeous he is. How perfect he is.
We walk in silence as the bitter cold air bites at the skin that isn't covered. I zip my coat up as far as possible and bring my scarf up slightly, hoping it helps slightly. I'm thankful that I didn't forget my gloves, like I usually do.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Kenny staring at me with that same look he had at lunch. What the hell is he doing?
"So…Stan, there's something you should know…" His voice is quiet, but holds a solemn pitch. At this point, my heart feels like it's pounding right out of my chest. My whole body feels frozen, confused as to what this could be about. Oh, those words are never a good sign.
"Uh…k. What's…going on?" I ask, trying not to show how tense I am at the moment. What could he want to tell me?
"Well, it's about Kyle." The moment I hear Kyle's name, I stop in my tracks and yank on his shoulder, demanding that he face me.
"What about Kyle? Ken, what's going on?" The way he was talking, it sounds like he wants to say something is wrong with Kyle.
"It's about your relationship. You guys shouldn't be together." ...What? Kenny is our friend, he should be supporting us. A tint of anger courses through my veins, but I wait for him to continue. "You know that your relationship is for fun, right? Kyle isn't serious about you."
"W-what? W-what do you mean?" My throat feels like it's closing up, but I manage to spit out some words, even though I can't really think of much to say at the moment.
"A few weeks ago, at a party…Kyle kissed me. He may have been drunk, I wasn't though, but he would have known if it was you or not. I'm just saying, I don't want you to be serious when clearly he isn't."
It takes my brain a moment to process what Kenny just told me. No, Kyle wouldn't do that. He was happy when I finally asked him out. I shake my head, refusing to believe anything he spits out.
"No, I don't believe you. Kyle's told me how happy he is, I can see it on his face. You can try to break us up, because clearly you don't like us being together. Walk home on your own."
"Stan, I'm just telling you what happened. We're friends, right? Just...I don't want you to have your heart broken."
I stare at him for a split second, watching him stare blankly at the ground. My feet rush as fast as possible, trying to get away from him. I don't know if he's making it up, or telling the truth but I don't want to think about it.
"Stan, wait!" I ignore his cries of protest for me to come back and keep rushing in the direction of my house. Tears slip out from the corners of my eyes, feeling like they're freezing into drops of ice as they're falling out.
When I get to my house, I sprint up to my room and ignore my mom when she greets me at the door. I topple over on my bed and bury my face into my pillow, drenching it with tears not even caring at the fact I have to go to the bathroom really bad.
"Stanley, what happened?" The door muffles my mother's voice, but I can tell she's clearly concerned.
"Go away." I say, my own voice muffled by the pillow but she leaves me alone, which I appreciate.
A few minutes pass before I roll over onto my back, setting my arms behind my head to prop it up slightly. Kenny's words keep replaying in my head over and over. I don't want you to be serious when clearly he isn't.
Does he know something else that I don't know? I'm not sure if I believe Kenny or not. Either that, or I just don't want to believe him. I don't want to imagine Kyle kissing anyone else. He wouldn't kiss somebody else. I trust Kyle. But why do Kenny's words keep stinging at my heart?
"Ughh…" I groan loudly to myself, frustrated and confused. That whole conversation with Kenny happened so quickly that my mind is still trying to process what was said.
The night goes by extremely fast, my mind clouded by the scene that happened on the street. I feel like I'm in a completely different world, and I don't even really hear anything my parents say during dinner.
"So, Stan, how was your day?" My dad asks, reaching over and nudging me on the shoulder, trying to get me to say something.
"Meh…" I mumble, poking at the potatoes on my plate. I hear my mom whisper don't to my dad, understanding that I don't want to talk.
"Stop being such a pussy." My sister hisses, flicking a pea at me. But it doesn't affect me, I don't care about anything at the moment. My mom screeches at Shelly, smacking her on the wrist.
After I eat my dinner, I excuse myself from the table and head back up to my room. Kyle wanted me to text him tonight, so I decide to to yank my phone from my bag and send him a text. I have to talk to Kyle, I have to talk to him about what Kenny said. It can't wait until tomorrow.
Hey. Are you busy?
I wait for a moment, before my phone buzzes on my chest, which startles me a bit. I quickly read the text, smiling a bit that he responded so quickly.
Hey! No, not right now. Why?
Can I come over? I quickly text, replying right away. Another buzz of my phone and I check his response.
I throw my phone into my jean pocket and hop off of my bed, getting a little bit lightheaded from getting up too quickly. The second I get downstairs my mom comes out from the living room to see what I'm doing. She's so nosey…
"Are you going somewhere, sweetie?" She asks, her voice innocent, but I can tell she's just being snoopy.
"Over to Kyle's. I'll be back later." I don't bother to look at her as I throw my coat and hat on.
"Oh, alright. Have fun." Our eyes meet for a split second as I turn around, and being my mom she probably has an idea what this whole thing is about.
As I step into the darkness, the coolness wrapping around my body like a blanket, I can feel tiny goosebumps form on my skin. While I saunter towards Kyle's house, in my mind I try to think of what I'm going to say. I'm going over there to ask him about this only based on Kenny's words.
Hey Kyle, so apparently you kissed Kenny? Is this relationship just a joke to you? No. I can't accuse him of anything until I hear what he has to say. But the thought of him being with intimate with somebody else makes me feel nauseous.
When I reach the Broflovski residence, I hesitantly knock on the door, hoping Kyle will answer it. That hope quickly falls when a short, plump woman with the same flaming red hair Kyle has, opens the door.
"Hi, Mrs. Broflovski. May I go up and see Kyle?" I shove my hands in my pockets, hiding the fact that they're shaking from being cold, but mostly from my nerves.
"Oh, hello Stanley. Sure, you know where to find him." She slowly shuffles to the side, allowing me to enter.
"Thank you." I politely say, making my way into the house and relishing the warmth. An awkward air passes by as I step past her.
Things get kind of awkward when his parents are here when I come over. They know about our relationship and they aren't happy per se that their son is gay, but they accept us. The only reason they know is because they walked in when Kyle and I were kissing one day. I begged them not to tell my parents, seeing as I'm not ready to tell them I'm gay. Surprisingly, they understood and agreed to let me tell them on my own.
But of course we had to get a lecture on safe sex from his mother. Which was quite awkward, seeing as Kyle and I haven't really talked about sex yet. I made the mistake of letting out a joke in front of his parents about Kyle not being able to get pregnant. I remember how red Kyle's face got and how severely awkward the room became with his parents glaring at me.
As I make my way up the stairs, my nerves start to kick in more and more as I take each step. I feel my throat close up, and my stomach lurch, aching desperately to get rid of the dinner I just ate. No, no, no, please don't puke right now. Ugh, I really hate how weak my stomach is.
"Kyle?" I whisper quietly, but loud enough for him to hopefully hear as I knock on the white, wooden door.
"Come in!" The door separating us dulls Kyle's voice, but I can pick up a hint of excitement.
The moment I walk in, Kyle sets his book down on the desk beside his bed and hops up, a giant smile planted on his face. He races towards me and hooks his arms around my neck, pulling me down slightly. His lips pepper my cheek with warm kisses, which do end up calming me down. But then I remember why I'm here in the first place.
"Hey! Sorry I couldn't walk home with you today." He apologizes as he pulls back just enough to tilt his head back, looking up at me with those impeccable orbs.
"Oh…uh, that's alright." I grab his lean waist, pushing him away from my body just a tad.
"Did you end up walking alone?" Thankfully he doesn't notice the distance I've put between us. I can't hold him until I find out the truth. He finally decides to unlock his arms from around my neck.
"No…Kenny walked with me. But…" My eyes are fixed at the ground as I anxiously scratch my head, trying to spit out my concerns.
"But…what?" Dainty fingers run up and down my arm, obviously oblivious to the fact my whole body is shaking.
"Well that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Kenny told me something…that I want to ask you about."
His head tilts to the side, cutely and I can't help but want to jump him right now. The nauseous feeling comes back and I let out a loud gulp, thinking of how I'm going to word my next sentence.
"Oh, ok. What's up?" Those hazelnut eyes sparkle with confusion, waiting for me to continue. A deep breath escapes and I find the courage to just come out with it.
"Kenny said you and he kissed before." It takes a moment, but the smile on his face quickly fades when the sentence sinks in.
"What?" He screeches, sounding a tad confused.
"Yeah, at some party a while ago." I make my way over to his bed, plopping down onto his bed, enjoying the softness on my bottom.
"What the hell? I didn't kiss him. And I sure as hell don't remember him kissing me." Quickly he rushes over beside me, causing the bed to bounce slightly as he seats himself beside me.
"He said you might have been drunk, so you may not remember or something..." He waves his hands in front of him defensively, his face in disbelief.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. First of all, I don't drink that much, and second of all when I do drink I don't make out with anyone. And I remember what I do. Do you actually believe him?"
I don't respond for a moment, my eyes are still glued on the ground. He grips my shoulder with one hand and brings his other hand to my chin, tilting my head to the side so I'm forced to look into his eyes.
"Stan, I swear I didn't kiss him." Soothingly, he caresses my cheek with his one hand, almost convincing me he's telling the truth.
"He sounded like he was serious. I don't know what to believe…do you like Kenny? I mean, you and him hang out more often now than you used to."
"What? No, I don't. You're just imagining things! Yeah, sure, I mean Kenny is a good looking guy but you're my boyfriend, Stan."
"Wait, what?" The one part of his sentence sinks in and angrily glare at him, daring him to repeat what he just said.
"No, no! I was just saying. Stan…I didn't do anything!"
"Alright, well, I'm gonna go, sorry to bother you."Furiously I turn and ignore when he grabs my arm, trying to hold me back.
"Stan, wait! Wait! Please don't go!" The desperation in his voice makes my eyes mist with tears, but I overlook them as I remain furious.
"I'll…see you at school tomorrow. Later." I yank my arm away from his grasp, taking a look back at him to see the devastation written all over his face. He keeps calling my name, hoping I will come back. But I don't and I can't.
I hate myself for getting so angry, maybe even over nothing. I could be overreacting, but I tell myself that I just need some time. I trust Kyle, but if Kenny said that he was sober, then he would be the one telling the truth…unless he's deceiving me.
"Bye Mrs. Broflovski." I holler to her in the living room, trying to keep the heart broken tone in my voice to a minimum.
"Oh, leaving already?" She joins me at the door, opening it up for me. As hurt as I am, I give her the best possible smile I can do at the moment.
"Yes. Thank you." I quickly take my leave, stepping back into the chilly air once again. Tears sting my eyes but I quickly wipe them away before they can escape.
The whole way home, I think about Kyle and the expression he had before I left. He looked so…crushed, and upset. Maybe Kenny was lying…I should talk to him tomorrow and see if I can figure anything more out.
I make it home in good time, once again ignoring my mother and heading straight to my room. It's been a long day and all I want to do is go to sleep, trying to ignore everything that has happened today.
The moment I plummet onto my bed, my eyes grow heavy and the next thing I know, the darkness surrounds me as I'm overcome by sleep.
The next day at school, I feel so alone walking down the hallway. Usually Kyle and I would be walking together, our hands clasped tightly together. But I haven't seen him today yet, which is unusual. He's often everywhere, usually with me or one of our other friends, or chasing the teachers around.
The next thing I know someone is yanking me by the arm, dragging me towards Kenny, who is standing at his locker.
"K-Kyle, what are you doing?"
"Proving to you that he's lying to you. I told you before, you're the only one for me." We reach Kenny's locker and Kyle roughly shoves his locker door closed, almost catching his fingers which causes him to wince.
"Kyle, what the hell man?" He asks rudely, angry that his books are now scattered all over the floor.
"Tell him you lied. About the kiss." Kyle bends down to grab a hold of Kenny's shirt collar, fingers clenching it tightly.
"I don't know what you're talking about…I was just speaking the truth." They squirm a bit, Kyle trying to keep a hold of his shirt while Kenny tries to free himself.
"Kenny! Stop trying to fuck our relationship up and tell Stan the truth. I would never have kissed you. Sober or drunk."
"You were drunk. You know what they say, when you're drunk you show your true emotions."
"What are you even talking about? Stan…I don't know what he's talking about." Kyle's gaze goes back and fourth from me to Kenny, eyes widened and speechless.
"Kyle…" I start but Kenny abruptly interrupts me.
"Maybe you need some help to remember?" All of a sudden, Kenny leans forward to grab Kyle's waist, and leans in but before he can press his lips onto Kyle's, he forces him back, slamming his head against the locker.
"KENNY!" I've decided I've seen enough, anger storms through my body and I decide to turn around before I do something I regret but before I can, he grabs my arm, forcing me to stay. I look into Kyle's startled eyes and tell him one single sentence.
"Kyle, I'm through with you." Kyle quickly catches up to me after I stomp away from them, holding onto my arm tightly, desperately.
"Stan, this is Kenny just being a jerk! This has to be a joke of his or something." Desperate hazel nut eyes meet my own, clouded with threatening tears, but I brush him off.
"Kyle, please go away." His hand tightens on my arm when he notices that tears are cascading down my face. I turn my head away from him, embarrassed at the fact I'm crying in front of him.
"Stan…" I thrust my arm away, walking away from him. I take one last look at him over my shoulder, watching his heart break right before my eyes.
As I continue walking, I can feel my own heart break and the tears won't stop rolling down my already tear stained cheeks. What the hell did I just do?
It's been almost two weeks since I broke up with Kyle. We've barely spoken, the only time we've said anything to each other has been in class for projects and both of us avoided each others eyes.
I can't help but feel awful when I see him burst into tears in the hallway. And especially when Cartman sees him and always rags on him for being a 'whiney, faggy Jew.' It makes me want to go over and punch his fat face in, but I can't seem to do it. I can't get in trouble, as much as I want to do it.
"What the hell happened to the other fag? Were you too rough on him? Or...oh, please tell me you broke up with him." Cartman steps in front of me, blocking me from continuing. There are too many people in the hallway to maneuver through, especially because he takes up so much room.
"Cartman, fuck off."
"Oh, come on. That's funny! I've always wanted to see him suffer like this. It's perfect!" A satisfied expression forms on his face as he rubs his hands together happily.
"I'm not going to tell you again, leave me alone!" I raise my fist, ready to punch him but he only retreats, giving me a dirty look over his shoulder. What an asshole.
Every minute of every passing day, my heart shatters into more pieces. I don't know why I rush to the conclusion of everything so quickly. It's obvious that Kyle is just as heartbroken as I am, seeing as he comes to school every day with red, puffy eyes.
Neither of us has talked to Kenny since what happened that day. I can't bear to look Kenny or Kyle in the eyes, not after reacting like I did without knowing the real truth. But what if he was telling the truth? That Kyle and him did in fact kiss. Then I made the right decision…but if he was lying…I broke an innocent boys heart for no reason.
"Staaan..." A high pitch squeal gains my attention as I turn around to a long, raven haired girl with sparkling cobalt eyes.
"Hello, Wendy. What can I do for you?" I ask, knowing her she's going to ask me for a favour. That's apparently all I'm good for in her mind.
"I haven't seen you with Kyle lately. I know you broke up with me because you suddenly turned gay, but I'm single now and I forgive you for hurting me." Her long fingers twirl in her silky hair, her eyes filled with a glitter of hope.
"Huh? What are you talking about?" She groans dramatically, annoyed at how apparently oblivious I am.
"We should get back together! I mean, I broke up with Token...and I do still love you."
"Wendy, you cheated on me. Thanks for the offer, but I love Kyle. I do like you, only as a friend, okay?" I pat her shoulder in a friendly manner, walking away from her before she can say anything else. What is going on with people?
I feel like a zombie walking the hallways, my eyes are continuously glued on the floor and I feel I haven't had any facial expressions lately. Ugh, maybe I should just go talk to Kyle…or maybe talk to Kenny. I can't keep walking through the halls like this.
"Hey, we need to talk." My eyes wander up to meet the sparkling, sky blue orbs that belong to the one that started this.
"What do you want now? Haven't you done enough?" My voice comes out groggy, seeing as I haven't slept much since I broke up with Kyle.
"Dude, I came to apologize," He states, while I watch as an expression of guilt forms on his face, "I made it up. We didn't kiss." Without thinking, I push Kenny on the chest and up against the closest locker and it doesn't affect me as he winces in pain.
"Kenny! What the fuck? Why would you do that? You know how happy I was with Kyle! Do you just like to ruin people's happiness?"
"I did it because I care about you guys," I'm still furious, but I can feel my eyebrow raise in question, "I thought it was best if you guys weren't together. You guys are best friends. It's always hard to go from best friends to lovers without something bad happening."
"You can't decide that for yourself! I love him…I broke up with him because of what you said…" Instead of tears of sadness, tears of anger drip from my eyes as I let go of Kenny's shirt.
"I know, I know…over the past two weeks, I've seen how depressed both of you are. I'm really sorry…I love you guys and I didn't want you to get hurt in the end. But I can see that Kyle is really serious about you…and you're serious about him. You didn't need to react the way you did..."
"But...I guess the lie really didn't help anything anyway…"
"You think!? How was I suppose to react? What do I do now? I've hurt him…I'm so stupid, I should have just trusted him."
"I think you need to just go apologize, maybe get him something. I'm sure anything you do, he'll take you back."
"You know...it wasn't a complete lie. We were at the party a while ago, all of us. Except it was you and Kyle who kissed and I'm pretty sure you were both drunk. I just said it was me and him, rather than you and him." I nod dumbly as I listen to his explanation. There's silence between the two of us, the only noise is the chattering of passing people.
"So…please forgive me, Stan. I know you're mad, but I did it for your own good…I realize what I did was stupid. I feel like Cartman now for being such an ass…oh God, I really don't even deserve forgiveness."
Another spurt of silence passes between us, and I can only stare angrily at him but I do the only thing that's best. My hand reaches forward hesitantly, and he looks from my eyes down to my hand. He gladly accepts the handshake with a guilty smile.
"Yeah, yeah…of course. I understand what you were trying to do…you just did it the wrong way. Just…you have to apologize to Kyle as well." He leaps at me, throwing his arms around me, squeezing tightly. A heavy sigh escapes my lips, but I decide to return the hug.
"So…what should I get him?" I ask, hoping Kenny can help me out. My back rests against the locker as I rub my now pounding head. I can almost see a little light bulb form over his head as he lets out a little gasp, obviously having come up with an idea.
"I know exactly what you should do."
I'm currently standing on the doorstep of the Broflovski residence. This time, instead of feeling nervous and worried, I'm feeling excited and praying that he forgives me. I shift the flowers that are lying in the crook of my arm, so they don't fall on the ground.
"Hello, Stanley." Kyle's mother says as she opens the door, leaning against it. Her eyes are bitter, and the frown she's wearing gives me a bad feeling she knows something.
"Hi Mrs. Broflovski…may I go see Kyle?" I shift the flowers again, trying to hide them slightly but her eyes have already spotted them.
"Mmm…he's sleeping. He told me what happened, by the way." The stubby fingers now grip the door, and I'm afraid she's going to slam it in my face.
"Oh…" Nervously, my gaze wanders, trying to look everywhere but at her. She must think I'm an asshole.
"It's impossible to keep secrets away from me. He told me the whole story."
"Mrs. Broflovski, I'm so sorry. I need to apologize to him…I feel terrible. I love him, and I made a huge mistake. I need to see him…will you give him these then?" I hold out the red roses, looking down at the ground. My face feels like its on fire, but she accepts them.
"Stanley, you really are a good kid. Would you like me to tell him anything when I leave him these?"
"No…there's a note on it." I point to the little, folded piece of paper attached to the flowers. "Thank you very much."
As I walk away from the house, I look over my shoulder to see her reading what's written on the note, smiling to myself as she breaks out into a massive grin. Kyle…I hope you forgive me. I don't know what I'll do if you don't…
My eyes flutter open at the sound of my door opening with a creaky sound. I sleepily look to see my mom coming in and setting something down on my desk. I grumble something incoherent into my pillow and roll around to my other side.
"Sorry, sweetie. Did I wake you? I just came in to get your laundry." I watch, my vision blurry as she grabs some clothes off of my floor.
"Mhm…what did you put on my desk?" My voice is groggy, probably from being over tired and all of the crying I've done lately.
"Well you'll just have to see when you get up." And just like that my mom leaves my room, with the floor looking now almost spotless with no clothes on the ground. What's that suppose to mean?
When the door is fully closed, I pop up from my bed to see a bouquet of roses on my desk. Baffled, I walk over and pick them up, only to have what seems to be a note falls out from them. I hesitantly pick up the little piece of paper and read the note in my head.
Kyle, I just wanted to say how sorry I am about what happened. I jumped to conclusions like I always do and made a huge mistake. I hope you're doing okay, I miss you. I know I should have trusted you, I think after Wendy cheated on me, I lost faith in everyone. But you're different, I should have known you would always be faithful. Anyways…I love you. I really do, and I hope we can talk and that you can forgive me. I'm really sorry…
I love you,
My heart flutters in my chest, and for two weeks it feels like it's been broken, but with one note I feel like it's been mended. That's the first time he's said he loves me. I can't help but smile like an idiot to myself. I think to myself for a moment before setting the flowers back down on my desk, fold the note up and set it on my dresser.
"Oh God…I'm so happy…" I whisper to myself, standing in the middle of my room, surrounded by darkness but now I don't feel alone. I need to see him, right now. My pajamas are quickly flung off as I change into some other clothes. That had to have been a record time for me for getting changed. Before dashing out I grab the note, delicately putting it in my pocket.
I decide to rush downstairs, almost tripping over my feet in the process as I search for my mom. When I find her, I'm pretty much breathless, trying to spit out a sentence. Clearly she's a bit befuddled at my exhaustion and the fact about a few minutes ago I was practically passed out on my bed.
"Mom…w-when did he give you the…flowers?" While still trying to fully catch my breath, I pull the tiny note from my pocket, showing her I already received the flowers.
"Oh, you mean Stanley? He came over a few minutes before I brought them up to your room." She goes back to cleaning the dishes, smiling to herself.
"Did he say where he was going?"
"I assume he was going back home. Are you going to go find him?"
"Yeah! If I want to catch him, I should leave now!" She gives me a smile, dries her hands and gives me a quick hug, which surprises me quite a bit, but I return it before hurrying to get my coat, hat and gloves.
"Bye, Sweetie." I wave to her before sprinting down the road in the direction of Stan's house. If he's not at his house, I can almost guarantee he would be at Stark's Pond.
I can feel my lungs burning as I make my legs run as fast as possible. Stan is nowhere in sight and I can't help but feel slightly upset. I thought I would be able to catch him…he couldn't have gotten home that fast. He's a slower walker and I doubt he ran back to his house.
Just when I didn't think I'd be able to find him, I can see someone in the distance that looks like Stan, but I can't be sure. As I get a bit closer, I confirm that it is Stan. My whole body breaks down as I lean over, resting my hands on my thighs to catch my breath. Little puffs of air assemble in front of my lips from the frosty air.
"Stan!" I attempt to shout, my breath catching in my throat. Surprisingly enough, he hears me and turns around. I watch as he starts walking towards me quickly, but once I catch my breath a bit I start running towards him again. There's no doubt that he's confused as his eyebrows lower in puzzlement.
"Kyle, what the hell are you do-" My lips cut him off as I press them against his. His lips are chilly, but mine probably are as well. My gloved hands cup the back of his neck as I deepen the kiss by parting my lips, giving his a tiny lick.
"Mhmm…" He finally gets over the shock and returns the kiss with as much enthusiasm. The warmth of his tongue entering my mouth warms my whole body right up.
We part our lips due to the fact we need oxygen at some point. My arms loop around his neck, pulling him down so his flushed face is buried in my neck. I can't help but heave out a sigh of relief when I feel his hands rest on my waist. His hands are gentle as they rub my back, up and down soothingly.
"Uhm…I take it you got the flowers…and note?" His whisper tickles on the bare skin of my neck, creating goosebumps, both from his breath and excitement.
"Yeah…I got them."
"Does that mean…um…you forgive me?" There's no denying how cute he can be at times and I chuckle into his shoulder.
"There's nothing to forgive. I'm not mad at you, I never was. I know how you are. I'm just happy that we can be like this again. These last two weeks have been hell…"
"I know, I feel awful…Kenny told me he made it up." The hands on my back tighten their grip on my jacket. He clearly feels awful, and my heart can't take any more of this drama.
"I knew it. I'd never kiss him. Who knows where that mouth has been." I chuckle at myself, trying to lighten the situation up but Stan seems to still be quite serious about this.
"Stan, I'm kidding. I wouldn't kiss anyone. I already told you that you're the only one for me. And I meant it."
"I know…it's just I'm so worried that one day you're going to stop wanting to be with me, and be with someone else. It freaks me out…" His fingers trail up into my curly, red hair, knocking my hat to the side slightly. I can't help but let a moan slip out when he gently rubs my scalp.
"I love you." We part, our arms releasing each other as he looks down at me, looking astounded like I said the most shocking thing ever. His cheeks flare up with a lovely shade of red. So cute…
"What? Can I not say that to my boyfriend? Oh…wait, you broke up with me…so…we aren't like that anymore…maybe you should fix that?"
"Huh? Oh, um…right. Kyle, will you be my boyfriend…again?"
"Of course! I thought you would never ask." I hug him around the neck again, planting a kiss on his crimson cheek, stifling a chuckle as he gasps in surprise.
"Stan, I can't promise anything…all I know is that, right now, I love you. I want to be with you, and I feel like we do belong together. We're like…one of those sappy love songs…you know?" He finally lets out a low chuckle, and I can't help but smile at the fact he's finally letting up a bit. One of his hands moves down to cup my chilled cheek, tilting my head up while his other arm wraps around my waist.
"Kyle…thank you…just, um…for everything." The sweetness in his voice makes me practically melt into a puddle of goo.
"Stan, stop asking for forgiveness and thanking me. Things happen! You just have to stop believing whatever you hear. Not everything people tell you is always going to be true."
"Uh huh…I know." Our lips meet again, with him initiating the kiss this time. Our tongues meet between each others lips, our tastes mixing together and the warmth spreading through my whole body.
My arms move from his neck, but my needy fingers grasp at his cheeks, pulling him closer if possible. When his arm tightens around my waist, a gasp escapes my lips which gives his tongue an opening to travel in my mouth. When one of his desperate hands moves up to my neck, cupping it gently, I can feel my heart beat roughly through my ears.
"Mmmph…" I whimper loudly as he slides his tongue gently slides across the roof of my mouth. We reluctantly pull away when the need for oxygen arises, but only enough so that our lips are still touching. Our warm breath embraces between our lips, combining to become one.
"So…you forgive me?" He breathes out heavily against my lips as our foreheads bonk together lightly.
"Oh my God, yes Stan. I forgive you. So what did Kenny say when he told you the truth?"
"Oh, uh…he said that he was just looking out for us. Something about he thought that it was better if we just remained best friends, not lovers. He also said that we did kiss at the party, both of us were drunk...so yeah."
"That's none of his damn business. And I don't remember that...maybe he made that up, too" Our faces and bodies finally move away from each other as I cross my arms angrily. Damn Kenny, always trying to ruin something…
"I know…Oh, I forgot to tell you something." I look at him in curiosity, waiting for him to continue.
"Oh?" His head leans forward and he gives me a small peck on the lips.
"I love you, too." My almost frost bitten cheeks heat up at those four words, as I look down at the ground in embarrassment.
"That's the first time someone's said that to me…" My body reacts on it's own as my fingers reach out to clutch at his jacket. We stand in a comfortable silence for a moment before he leans forward, his head right beside mine.
"Um…want to maybe go back…to my house?" The hint of huskiness in his voice makes me shiver in delight, but I can also pick up a hint of nervousness.
"St-Stan? You mean…um…" Both of us step away from each other in an awkward motion, our eyes meeting for a split second before their gaze goes to the snow-dusted sidewalk.
"I don't know! I'm sorry…I sh-shouldn't have said anything…" I quickly grab his jacket again, hoping the simple action calms him down.
"No, no! I'd really like that, Stan…" My grip loosens as we walk back to his house, our hands laced together in between our bodies. No words are said between us, but no words are needed. We've never talked about...sex before, now all of a sudden we're going to his house to possibly...do it.
"Hello sweetie…Oh, hello Kyle." Stan's mom greets us at the door, our hands release quickly before she see's anything. Obviously she's quite surprised to see me with Stan.
"We're just going…to play some games and stuff." There's a moment where nothing is said, but she gives Kyle and I an all-knowing smile. Okay…I think she knows.
"Have fun, boys." We strip off our coats, hanging them up neatly in the closet before almost tripping up the stairs, roused by what is about to happen.
Our lips meet the second the door is closed and our hands roam each others bodies. At first we were going to talk, but we both seem desperate for each others bodies. There's nothing to talk about, we both know what we now want. We walk backwards until the back of my thighs bump into his bed as we fall together with him landing on top of me. My body feels like it's floating on clouds as he sucks the sensitive spot below my ear, causing a flood of pleasure to course through my body.
"St-Stan…I've never done this…I don't know what to do." My hands quickly fly up to cover my face in shame.
"Kyle, stop." His hands grip mine, pulling them away from my blazing cheeks. "Neither have I. Let's do this together. Okay?" Our gasping lips touch, and my head feels like it's spinning, like I'm not even really here.
"Stan, should we be doing this? What if this does mess our relationship up?" My breath is heavy as I mumble against Stan's lips, but my statement isn't that convincing as I continue to pepper kisses on his lips.
"Do you love me?"
"Of course!" I respond quickly, loving the gorgeous smile he's giving me. The amount of love pouring from his eyes makes me feel like the luckiest boy on earth.
"And I love you. We're ready for this…I promise. This is going to help our relationship. Now we'll know we belong to each other. So...are you okay with this?"
"Mmm…" My heart practically bursts with happiness and I lean forward to capture Stan's lips for what seems to be the umpteenth time today. Our shaking hands explore each other and eventually we somehow remove all of our clothes without even knowing, so all we're left in is our boxers.
Stan is currently seated in between my thighs, suckling at my already hardened, aroused nipples with those warm hands of his on my waist, fingers digging into my pale skin. My legs shift on either side of his hips, begging for him to touch me more. Sweat is pouring down from my forehead and Stan's forehead is also glistening with perspiration.
"Stan…nghh…touch me…please!" His greedy fingers find their way into my boxers and grab at my excruciatingly, hard member.
"Touch mine, too…" His other hand grabs my wrist, leading it into his own boxers. Our eyes meet for a split second and the sparkle in his eye gives me the courage to do to him what he's doing to me. We bask in the warmth
Our hands pump harder and faster at the others length and not too long after, I orgasm a few seconds before Stan does. Both of our hands are covered in the sticky, white substance as we fall further onto the bed, trying to catch our breath. Both of grasp the sheets, wiping our fingers on the comforter while groaning at the stickiness still on our hands.
When we finally breathe at a normal pace again, we find each others lips and I notice his lips are salty due to perspiration, but I savor the taste anyway. He rolls hesitantly off of me as he moves to sit with his back against the wall, putting a pillow behind him for support. He beckons me over and I straddle his hips, resting my sticky, sweating hands on his shoulders.
"Mmm…Stan, w-what do we do now?" I can't help but jump a bit when I feel his hands squeeze my butt.
"Let me show you…" He stretches his hand over to the tiny, wooden desk beside his bed and pulls out a small bottle of liquid while his other hand is still placed on my ass.
"Yeah…I'll try to not make it hurt too much. I promise." I take a quick glance as I watch him drizzle some lubricant over his fingers, and my previously softened member starts to harden up once again just by the sight, forcing my boxers to tent up.
"Ahh…Oh God…" One of my impatient hands reaches back to grab his frisky hand, navigating it into the back of my boxers. As his finger prods at my entrance, smearing it with a generous amount of the scentless liquid, I press my trembling lips to his salty neck and suck the sensitive skin softly.
"Kyle, holy shit…wow..." He grunts as his finger finally pushes in the tight, tiny hole. My teeth sink harder into his flesh as his finger digs deeper into the sensitive part of my body. Gasp after gasp flies past my trembling lips as the uncomfortable feeling continues, his finger sliding in right to the knuckle.
"Ahhh…oh my God, Stan…a-add another…another!" While he adds another eager finger, his other hand runs down my chest, tweaking my already erect nipples and moves down to cup my stiff member through my boxers. There's no hiding my raspy moans as my member aches for direct touch.
My eyes roll back as I'm being pleasured from the front and back. So I press my gasping lips to Stan's to attempt to cover my moans and move one of my hands to palm his nipples while running the other through his damp, sticky hair.
The pain finally minimizes and he hits a particular spot inside me, forcing our lips to part as I bring one of my hands up to cover my mouth, gasping and twitching at the very sudden pleasure that has taken over the pain. The fingers move in and out, and continue to hit that one certain spot.
"Oh, w-what was t-that? Ahh...ngh..."
"Ahh…Your prostate, dude. Does it feel good?" I grind myself down onto him, wanting to feel more and enjoying the feeling of his clothed member press hard against my ass. The fingers inside of me move, and I can feel them stretching me wide open.
"Y-yeah, Stan…h-how do you know…nghh…w-what you're doing?"
"I did a bit of research a while ago…I wanted to m-make sure I did this right…when we decided to do this...to make it good for you."
"Stan…" I don't waste any time as I press my lips firmly against his, shifting my hips around, hoping the grinding gives him some pleasure. Once his tongue enters the perimeter of my mouth, I almost feel another orgasm come on but I try to focus on other things to hold it back.
The tension is removed from my ass after he feels I must be prepared enough. There's a slight moment as I pull away from his neck and our eyes meet for a brief moment. His cerulean blue eyes filled with adoration and passion makes my heart beat quiver with excitement.
"Oh, shit, wait…almost forgot a condom." As he's about to reach back over to his desk, I stop him with my own hand. Grabbing and guiding his hand back to my waist.
"Did you almost forget? I can't get pregnant, remember?" He lowers his eyes in embarrassment as he lets out a nervous chuckle.
"Oh, um…yeah, sorry about that."
"I'm ready, Stan…" We maneuver ourselves and with a fair amount of struggling, we manage to get our boxers off, leaving us completely naked. My hand grabs the tiny bottle, and gather a generous amount and smear it on his member, coating it greatly.
I reach back and take a hold of his dripping length, giving it a few swift pumps before lining it up with my entrance. In the heat of the moment, I feel like I know what I'm doing, like I've done this before. The touch of his member against the sensitive part of my body causes me to shiver in anticipation. Mmm, feels so good, I moan to myself.
"Are…are you okay? Don't push yourself." My fingers flex on his chest before moving up to his shoulders to grasp them violently as I push down harder on his member, forcing the tip into me. Thankfully his member isn't too thick so it doesn't take much to get it in.
"Hah, I'm f-fine, just give me a minute." He desperately nips at my neck, trying to take the focus away from the enormous amount of pain surging through me. One more rough push down and I'm fully seated on him and a loud moan slips past my lips as his scrotum presses gently against my now aching butt.
"Kyle, ughh, you're gonna have to move soon, or I'm gonna..." He pants as he thrusts his hips up impatiently, waiting for me to make a move.
"Wh…what do I do?" I ask through many breathy gasps. All of the confidence I had has gone down the drain, now I'm left wondering what I'm supposed to do, how I'm suppose to move my body.
"Just move your hips, just…move. Anything is fine, whenever you're ready…" I take a moment, with my eyes squeezed shut tightly and I bite the inside of my lip before lifting my hips. His member almost leaves my body before it disappears as I move back down, gasping at the pain. My member has softened a great amount due to the lack of pleasure, but I keep going, praying that my erection comes back to life soon.
"I can't…Stan, I can't…it hurts." I squeeze his neck with one hand, while the other moves to cover my mouth, as my teeth sink into my skin. Within a second, Stan leans forward to capture one of my nipples in his mouth, using his tongue to swirl around it. Sparks of desire zip through my body as his gentle lips suckle my sensitive, bruised nipples.
"Stan! W-what are you doing?" A few stray tears drip down my cheek and land on the top of his head.
"You need pleasure, too. I don't want me to be the only one feeling good." His tongue swirls around my perky nipple once more before licking up my neck, leaving a trail of saliva.
"Stan…" His other hand finds my member and starts to pump it in a steady motion, causing a tingle of pleasure to sweep through me. As I'm finally getting some pleasure, I finally get a rhythm of moving my hips up and down, now enjoying the feeling of his member deep inside of me. Muscles in my legs start to throb from doing most of the work, feeling like they want to collapse.
"Kyle…" He thrusts, meeting each one of mine and I curl my arms around his shoulders, helping me hold up my weight and I pull him towards me so we can share a passionate kiss. Both of his hands grip my waist and I try to ignore his sticky fingers from the pre-cum leaking from my shaft.
"Eeek!" I squeal loudly into his mouth as he suddenly flips me over onto my back, settled between my legs. Surprisingly he does this without having to pull out. One hand finds it's way to my hair, twisting through my tangly curls.
"Sorry, Kyle…I needed to move." My head tilts back and he takes the opening to bite my neck, attempting to leave me a nice hickey. My hands run up his chest, grazing my fingers over his hardened nipples.
His thrusts become clumsy and I watch his knuckles turn a shade of white as he grips the sheets beside my head. My sweaty hands run up and down his back hysterically. All of a sudden he hits something inside of me, causing my body to arch on it's own. My prostate…he found it again.
"Stan! Ah! T-there, do that again…" My arms move up and constrict around his neck, pulling him down to peck his cheek before attaching our lips together again. Our tongues meet and swirl around, connecting like our bodies. Our love making almost seems secondary to our kiss, our tongues dancing together beautifully in between our lips.
He continues to pummel into me, each thrust hitting my prostate spot on and indulging me in a delicious amount of pleasure. My hardened member presses against his stomach, screaming for attention and it doesn't take him long before he grips it and pumps it in time with his thrusts. Heavy, warm breathing enters in my ear as he grunts and clings onto me for dear life.
"Kyle…I'm gonna come…" He brings one hand up to cup my cheek, his eyes squeezed tight as he's being indulged. The grip on his neck tightens, fingers digging into his slick, clammy skin.
"Me, too…Oh, God…" The hand on my member picks up the pace and I feel myself right at the edge of my second orgasm.
"Want me to…uhhnn…pull out?"
"No, inside…do it inside…" I clamp my thighs around his hips, keeping him inside of me as he releases, causing me to arch my back at the weird, but wonderful feeling. After a few more thrusts, my member releases a few satisfied strings of it's own and winds up on his stomach, coating it.
"Oh, shit…sorry, Stan." He reluctantly pulls his now limp shaft out and I can't help but whimper at the empty feeling.
"Don't worry about it, it felt good, right?"
"Mmm…yeah, hurt at first…a lot, but yeah, it was great." The bed shifts as he gets up to get some Kleenex so we can wipe up the mess. Wow, I never expected our first time to be like this. It was a lot better than I thought.
"I'm glad…I'm glad we did this." He states with a satisfied smile. I open my arms up and he hops back onto his bed, cuddling up with me, his arms find their way around my waist.
We cuddle for what seems to last like forever, both of us almost drifting off a few times before both of us look at each other, smiling as our eyes meet.
"I'm happy we did this, too…let's try not to fight anymore…okay? I don't like it." We lean forward at the same time for our lips to meet in a gentle, peaceful kiss. "You were right. This definitely will help our relationship." My words are mumbled by his lips, but he nods in agreement.
"Want to stay over tonight?" I give him a content hum as my reply as I place on hand on his cheek, rubbing it gently. My body feels weak, and my ass couldn't be more sore but I've never been happier or more satisfied in my whole life. I tilt my head up, my lips searching for his for one more loving kiss.
"I love you." My eyes flutter closed as I whisper, the warmth of Stan's arms around me growing more and I move my hand off of his cheek and place it just above his waist.
This is where I want to be for the rest of my life. I hope Stan does trust me that I wouldn't risk our relationship for anything. The last thing I remember before drifting off into a deep slumber are the soft words, I love you, too and I bet that a smile graces my lips as I fall asleep into the land of dreams.
Oh, it was nice to write some good 'ol smut again. At first I was going to write it very subtly with not much description, but there's been a lack of Style smut, so I thought Style fans would love some :) Oh please don't bash the smut, I haven't written any in quite a while, so I had to get back into that.
This is definitely the longest fic I've ever written, wow! I was like 'hmm maybe this should be a chapter fic' but then I was like...um, NO! Haha I love imagining Stan as someone who assumes everything he hears is true aha
Anyways, if you enjoy it, leave a nice review! If you don't want to review, then at least enjoy :)