A/N: Yet another Hunger Games humor fic. I never tire of writing these! Okay, now to get the formalities out of the way:

a) Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plots of the Games...

b) This idea was brought to life mostly by Eagle-of-the-Ninth, who wanted credit for it (and Algie888 for catering - by which she gave me paper to write Eagle's and my ideas down on). Thanks to the both of you!

c) Unfortunately, this is Capitol TV, so there will be commercial breaks. Hopefully by the end of this fan fiction you'll be the proud owner of your very own set of Capitol Cosmetics.

d) Read and Review please, as I get a lot of my discipline to write from reviews (they nag me all day long, which is bad when I'm studying for a test)... blah, blah, blah, please review!

I've got to run - the show's about to start! Sit back, relax, and enjoy-


"And we're live in 3...2...1..."

Generously sponsered by Cutting Edge Razors ("Up Your Game with the Blade that Gamemakers Use!") and Liquid Skyliner ("The Secret Weapon Used by Professionals"), and brought to you with limited commercial interruption by Caesar Flickerman's own Smile Away! ("Dazzling! Dazzling! Dazzling! Be the Star of Your Own Show!"), Capitol TV presents...The Late Dinner Show Special with Caesar Flickerman!

"Good evening to the Capitol! As you all know, we've got the 73rd Games coming up in a matter of weeks. There have been many, many Hunger Games over the past three quarters of a century. There have been triumphs, successes, blood, gore, love and death. Lots and lots of death. But there have also been quite a few Games that have been banned from showing on the television, for many reasons. Some are simply too horrible to be shown on the air. Some have been Gamemakers' mistakes - that will never be repeated. Some were simply too funny to show the dignified people of the Capitol. But for the next however-long-this-broadcast is, I, Caesar Flickerman, your host for last year's, this year's and next year's Hunger Games, will take you through 72 years of...

The Games That No One Ever Talks About!

Gamemakers' Horrible Mistakes - the 1st and the 2nd Hunger Games!

The time when a certain District escort couldn't pronounce a Tribute's name!

Mass suicide by Tributes - was it a plan or were they just stupid?

A blast from the past - the year when the Gamemakers decided to incorporate a historical event!

Why do the Gamemakers almost never use water-landscapes for arenas? The shocking secrets are revealed!

The Infamous Twelve-Second Games!

What happens when a little too much lava is used?

Why President Snow just won't talk about chicken mutts - featuring an interview with Snow himself!

A certain Games that has everyone bleeding to 'deaf'!

When tracker implants become time-bombs: eleven Tributes' nightmarish six hours of waiting!

Cannon mis-firings!

When a Tribute becomes 'Queen of the Mutts'!

And much more!

Coming to you live from the Capitol, this is Caesar Flickerman - welcome to 'Never Talked About'!"