Author's Note:

Thank you all for supporting "Cupid Sucks" and me. Your reviews have really encouraged me. Now, onto the Epilogue!

Cupid Sucks Epilogue

Ichigo snuggled against the fluffy white blankets and sighed in content. A brown eye popped open in annoyance when he felt the bed shift on the other side. Ichigo frowned and turned his body. He kept a hand on his swollen belly as he moved. After rolling over, Ichigo came face to face with Grimmjow.

"You know better," hissed Ichigo. When the other gave a pout, the shinigami just raised a brow and warned, "Don't you give me that face. You know the deal."

Grimmjow sighed and replied, "Yeah, yeah, I know." With a sneaky smile, Grimmjow quickly attached himself to Ichigo, trying to stay on the bed for once in nine months.

After Ichigo contacted Grimmjow about the pregnancy nine months prior, the blue haired Espada was ecstatic, for Grimmjow had another way to keep others away from his Ichigo. The orange haired shinigami, however, wasn't pleased. He accepted being pregnant, and he accepted the responsibility of being a parent and giving birth. He just didn't accept the fact that he had to tell his family and the rest of his friends.

Ichigo's father took the news pretty well. The old man didn't accept Grimmjow, though. The two males' contradicting personalities only got them in a fight, and Ichigo had to break them apart with a hard kick to both of their heads. Yuzu and Karin, on the other hand, were glad that Ichigo was having a baby. Karin was the only one creeped out about Ichigo being the one to carry the child, though, especially when the thought of birth came to mind.

Chad, Renji, Uryu, and the rest of Ichigo's friends took the news well, too. The men just got into a fight about who was going to hold the baby first, while the women just agreed with Ichigo that Grimmjow should be the one to hold the baby first. Within five months, Ichigo's friends held a baby shower, which ended up in flames due to Grimmjow's misjudgement of Kurotsuchi's gift, a playpen that looked like a cage.

After settling the matter of telling everyone, Ichigo tried to stay home in Karakura, but Grimmjow insisted that he stay in Las Noches. The two argued about the living arrangements for about five minutes until Ichigo gave up. The couple made a deal for the nine months of Ichigo's pregnancy: Ichigo would get what he wanted when he wanted it, while Grimmjow couldn't sleep in the bed. The deal may have been odd, but Ichigo thought it was necessary.

Ichigo figured that his pregnancy gave him a lot of privileges, and he made that clear. He also thought that Grimmjow didn't deserve to sleep next to him, for fear of Grimmjow getting too frisky and hurting the baby. Plus, Grimmjow got him pregnant. What other reason did he need? All in exchange for Ichigo's stay. Thus, Grimmjow played attentive daddy-to-be, and Ichigo planned where to set up the baby area and handled the perks of being pregnant.

With a growl, Ichigo shoved Grimmjow away and shifted back. After placing some distance, Ichigo brought up his leg and kicked Grimmjow off of the bed. He smiled after hearing the other land on the floor with a thud and a curse.

Grimmjow's head popped up and rested on the edge of the bed. "Come on, babe," he whined. "It's been nine months since I got ya pregnant. Why can't I lay in the bed with you and my kid? Don't ya forgive me?" His blue eyes glittered, and his bottom lip quivered.

"No," came the blunt reply.

"Let me rephrase that," said Grimmjow returning from his pouting. "Don't ya love me?" He brought up his arms and folded them, so he could lay his head on his arms. Looking as innocent as possible was not his best skill, but he would be damned if he didn't try.

"Yes," came another blunt reply.

"So I can lay in bed with you," piped Grimmjow with a premature triumphant smile.

"No," came an even more plain reply.

"Why not?" whined Grimmjow. He got to his feet and bravely sat on the bed.

Ichigo rolled his eyes and asked, "Why are we having this conversation?" He sat up and folded his legs into a pretzel as both hands settled on his stomach.

"Because I want to hold you and the baby. I did my part, and you're due sometime this week. I just want to hold you without getting kicked," replied Grimmjow folding his arms. His blue eyes looked Ichigo up and down, and his lips pulled up in a smile.

The orange haired shinigami's hair had grown to the point of Ichigo's eyes almost being concealed. His feminine curves looked more prominent with the balloon belly sitting upon his legs. His skin still glowed like gold, and his eyes still sparkled. Beautiful.

Grimmjow cautiously crawled near Ichigo and sat next him. He kept his eyes locked with Ichigo's as he wrapped his arms around Ichigo. His chest was flooded with warmth, and he just wanted to share it with Ichigo. He would do that.

He leaned in and gave Ichigo a kiss on the cheek, showing that he wasn't going to do anything. Blue eyes traveled to Ichigo's belly, and a rough hand made its way to hold Ichigo's belly. Being more brave, Grimmjow shifted his body, so he could lay his ear against the warm skin that radiate life. He turned his head; thus, his mask wouldn't hurt his lover's skin and the baby. When he laid his ear flat on the belly with his cheek touching the other's soft skin, Grimmjow swore he heard his child's heart beating.

Grimmjow smiled and chuckled when he heard shifts of movement. Then, he felt a kick at his cheekbone. The father sat up in surprise and held his cheek. The little tike was strong; the kick actually hurt a little.

Ichigo saw and felt the incident happen. He chuckled and said, "The baby seems to take after me." His hand rubbed over the kicked spot, and he felt another kick. The kick wasn't as hostile, though.

The Espada just chuckled, too, and he replied, "I think the strong kicks are from me, babe, but I also think that the baby just learned to kick me, especially after what you did earlier." He looked down at Ichigo's belly and placed a hand by Ichigo's, covering the other's finger tips with his own.

"I hope she turns out like me," said Ichigo as he rubbed his belly with his free hand.

"You mean 'he,'" corrected Grimmjow. "And, why would you want the baby to turn out mostly like you?"

"Why a boy?" asked Ichigo. "I'm hoping for a girl. Plus, she'll help balance out the difference between mature and immature." He stuck his tongue out at Grimmjow playfully.

"Why not a boy?" asked Grimmjow. "I'm mature! I do chores around here, and I know how to cook." He crossed his arms as he stuck out his tongue, too.

"Why not a girl?" questioned Ichigo crossing his own arms. "You're mature half the time, and heating up 'Hot Pockets' doesn't count as cooking." He raised a brow in challenge.

Grimmjow replied, "Well, a girl would make everything here awkward, especially when she starts to bleed. And, ya couldn't let me feel special about my 'heating up' skills?"

Ichigo rolled his eyes at the response. "I'm not going to argue with you anymore," said Ichigo. He held up his hands halfway to show he was done. "I'm going to sleep. If you grope me, I'm kicking you out of the bed."

"I won't grope you, babe," replied Grimmjow. He snuggled against Ichigo as they prepared for bed. "By the way," added Grimmjow, "when the baby comes out, your ass is mine for a week. Nine months is too long."

Again, Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Whatever," replied Ichigo. To tease his lover, Ichigo stuck his butt out when Grimmjow hugged him from the back. He felt the Espada tense behind him.

Grimmjow nuzzled Ichigo's hair and whispered, "Keep teasing me, and I'll fuck ya right now." He growled when his lover rubbed his butt against his crotch.

Ichigo chuckled into the pillow. "Good night," he said with a smirk.

That night, Ichigo had a short dream. He was sitting on Grimmjow's bed, and his belly wasn't swollen anymore. He looked from his belly toward the baby cradle across from the bed. He didn't know why he looked there, but he felt drawn to it. Then, a wail came from the cradle. Ichigo raised a brow and crawled to the end of the bed. He got to his feet and pulled down his white shirt. He walked over to the cradle and looked over the edge with focus. Darkness engulfed him.

"Mmpfh," muffled Ichigo waking up from his sleep. "What the-" He felt a tinge of pain in his abdomen. Then, his pain increased. His abdomen was burning, and his pelvis felt like it was being pulled apart. He put his hands on his belly and shifted out of Grimmjow's warm embrace. He yelled, "Ahhhh!" Tears came to his eyes.

Grimmjow woke up startled. He sat up and looked at Ichigo. "Babe!" he said "What's wrong?!" He put a hand on the other's belly and felt furious movement.

"The baby!" yelled Ichigo. "The baby! It's coming!"

"Shit!" cursed Grimmjow. He ruffled his way out from under the blankets.

"Go get Nel!" Ichigo cried. Tears spilt down his cheeks as he wailed in pain. He dug his head into the pillow and bent his legs to press onto the bed, trying to literally escape the pain. His skin was flaring up and emitting sweat. He clawed at the blankets in an effort to ease his pain. He didn't hear Grimmjow leave or return with Nel and Nnoitra at his side.

"Oh Cupid!" cursed Nnoitra. He covered his ears and added, "This reminds me of that damn last movie of 'Twilight,' except Ichigo's worse. Damn you, Bella Swallows! Damn you and Edward Cuntface!"

"Shut up!" growled Grimmjow defending his Ichigo. He waved a fist in Nnoitra's direction.

"Why should I?" snarled Nnoitra. "I woke up for this, didn't I? I should get complainin' rights." He crossed his long arms. His hair was tangled, and his face had some dried drool.

"Ichigo's giving birth, dumbass!" countered Grimmjow. "This is a fuckin' special moment!" His eyes were narrowed, and his hair was messy. He was growling like a large cat at Nnoitra.

"Shut the fuck up!" yelled Ichigo from the bed. Hearing other men fussing at the time he was in pain was just stupid. Ichigo didn't want to hear anything, except Nel's voice. He was holding Nel's hand as the green haired woman soothed him.

"You'll be fine," soothed Nel. "Just squeeze my hand whenever you feel large amounts of pain." She winced when Ichigo squeezed her hand a few times within in a minute.

"Thanks, Nel," whimpered Ichigo. Just as he howled in pain and squeezed Nel's hand, a bright light washed over him. Brown eyes looked toward the light, which had a figure within its halo. He watched as the figure came forward and stood before the bed.

The figure was a woman. She was taller than Nnoitra, but her body matched her height. She had large breasts and feminine curves. Her skin was dark, and her wavy hair was a deep brown. Her eyes were green, and her lips were pink. She wore strips of clothing that clung loosely to her chest and hips. A golden tiara sat on her head, and golden gauntlets covered her forearms. A bow rested inside a quiver with green tailed arrows. Lastly, a little sack hung on the belt across her hips.

Ichigo's tears blinded him until he wiped them away. He looked in awe at the woman; he was mesmerized, at least until the pain came back much worse. He yelled in pain.

"I am Artemis," announced she. "I am here to help with the birthing of Hera's gift." She looked down upon Ichigo, the only one with Hera's aura on him, and smiled. "Your pain will last no longer, young man."

When the group looked at her in confusion, Artemis giggled and explained, "Nine months ago, Hera came and bestowed a gift upon the winner of Cupid's challenge. Her gift was a child, so I was told to come on this day to help her gift come into the world." The men looked at her in confusion, while Nel just looked at her with both fear and admiration.

"Do not fear me," Artemis said. She plucked the pouch from her belt, and she took out little vial full of blue liquid. She walked to the edge of the bed and crawled onto it toward Ichigo. She opened the vial and put it against Ichigo's lips. "Drink," she commanded.

"What is that?" asked Grimmjow. He wasn't sure of what kind of goddess Artemis was, but he didn't like the strange liquid in the little bottle.

Artemis looked to Grimmjow and answered, "Water from the river, Styx. It'll numb the pain." She pressed the mouth of the vial against Ichigo's lips and poured the contents.

Ichigo swallowed the mucky water that smelled like ale and sighed. The pain in his abdomen was fading. After some time, the pain was no more, and Ichigo could breathe regularly.

Nel looked up at Artemis and asked, "Have you done this before?" Her eyes concentrated on the wild, beautiful goddess. She couldn't help but feel her heart race in the presence of this strong woman.

Artemis looked at Nel as she put the vial back into the sack. With a smile, she replied, "I have done this before, my child. I am the goddess of the wilderness and birth." She looked back at Ichigo and set a hand on his belly.

"What about with a man?" asked Nel. She squeezed Ichigo's hand.

Without looking back up, Artemis replied, "No."

"What?!" exclaimed Grimmjow and Nnoitra. Grimmjow was nervous for Ichigo, while Nnoitra was nervous about the extra screams of pain.

"Rest assured," said Artemis, "that I shall not harm Ichigo and the baby." Her green eyes looked into Ichigo's brown eyes. "For this to work, young man, you must put forth your trust in me. Believe in me, and my works shall run smoother." She looked toward the belly, then she looked toward the legs.

Artemis crawled by Ichigo's legs and placed herself between them. She bent his knees and said, "You must keep your legs open, young man. Don't be afraid." She tore off Ichigo's black shorts and red boxers to reveal his private area. "This might feel odd, but do not fight me," advised Artemis. She placed her hand on Ichigo's manhood, making sure only the tips touched the other.

Grimmjow's right eye twitched. No one touched his Ichigo down there but him. "Why ya-" he was cut off by Nnoitra's hands holding his mouth and his struggling body. He was led farther from the bed with his legs kicking and mouth screaming muffled curses.

Ichigo felt weird with Artemis touching him, but he didn't falter. He relaxed his body and closed his eyes. He let his heart beat slow down and flood with positive emotion. In his mind, Ichigo chanted, I believe in the goddess, Artemis. I believe in her ability to help me deliver my baby. I believe she is all knowing and skillful.

As he chanted his belief in his head, Ichigo felt the skin between his legs tingle. He squeezed Nel's hand out of nervousness, and kept his eyes shut to block out anything disturbing. He heard Nel gasp in surprise. "What is it?" he asked with his eyes still shut.

"Shhh, young one," said Artemis. She flipped Ichigo's manhood to rest on his belly, and she held up Ichigo's scrotum. The removal of the manly parts revealed a small vaginal hole. Artemis touched the edge of the vaginal hole, making it dilate faster than normal.

When the dilation was complete and the vaginal opening was wide enough for a baby's head, Artemis probed the opening. She smiled when she felt the soft skin of the baby's head. She looked at Ichigo and said, "Young one, when the baby is born, this extra opening will fade away within seconds."

"Opening?!" asked Ichigo opening his eyes. "You mean like a vagina?" He raised a brow in worry.

Artemis nodded and continued, "You will also feel no pain, so you have nothing to fear when you push this child out." She turned her head to her pouch and reached inside. She pulled out a large, fluffy white blanket and placed it between Ichigo's legs. She placed her hands under the blanket to receive the baby.

"Push, young one, push," commanded Artemis.

Ichigo gulped and did as told. He focused his energy the muscles around his abdomen and hips, and he pushed. He didn't feel any pain, but he felt strained when pushing. He took in a deep breath and pushed again.

"You've crowned," said Artemis. "Keep going." She smiled at the tuft of orange coming out.

Ichigo shut his eyes and gave a hard push. This time, he felt something slip out more. He felt his muscles tense.

"Once more, young one," commanded Artemis. "Give me another push."

With clenched teeth, Ichigo pushed as hard as he could. He felt the weight between his legs leave, so he heaved out a breath of relief, especially at the sound of a baby's wails. He rested his head against the pillow and panted. He definitely felt the energy gap in giving birth. He would never judge women again.

He heard Nel squeal and Grimmjow yell for Nnoitra to let him go. The baby had quieted down.

"Oh, Ichigo," squealed Nel. She let go of Ichigo's hand and put it on his forehead. "You did great," she added as he looked at his tired face.

Artemis held a white bundle in her arms. There was hardly blood where she sat as she gazed upon the baby, so she didn't have to do a major clean as she did with most women. Artemis looked at Ichigo and said, "Your child is truly a gift. She has a bright future. I can feel it." She made her way by Ichigo and handed him the baby.

Ichigo quickly and carefully sat up, making Nel's hand retreat. He held out his arms and received the baby. He moved the white blanket below the baby's chin. Ichigo's heart melted at the sight of his child. A smile graced his features, and happy tears filled his eyes.

"You're beautiful," he whispered to the baby.

The baby had her eyes open. The color was blue with light blue edges. The baby's tuft of hair was orange. Her cheeks were round, rosy, and plump, and her nose was small like a button. The child blinked and squealed in a happy manner. She gurgled her spit as she looked up at Ichigo.

Grimmjow finally got loose and flashed to the bed. He got close to Ichigo and tried to look over the blanket. He was granted more access when Nel moved away for him. Grimmjow sat next to his Ichigo and looked at the child. "It's a girl, isn't it?" he asked.

Ichigo chuckled and replied, "Yeah." He placed a gentle kiss on the baby's head. "I wonder what to name her."

"Grimmjow, Jr.," suggested Grimmjow.

Ichigo frowned and replied, "No, but I was thinking about 'Artemis.'" The goddess helped with his birth, so he thought the name would be like a gift for the goddess. Plus, Ichigo admired Artemis; he thought she was the greatest goddess amongst the gods. He looked up at the goddess and asked if the name would be okay.

The goddess smiled and replied, "A fitting name, young one. She has my blessing." Artemis had melted at the sight of the child. She thought that the baby girl would someday vow herself chaste and join the many virgins upon Olympus. She would teach the girl everything about being a strong warrior. What a sight that would be; the story would be legend like the rest of the gods. The goddess crawled off of the bed and looked at the group. "We shall meet again," she said. The goddess placed the pouch on her belt, then she faded from sight with a smile on her face.

Nel scooted onto Ichigo's other side and awed at young Artemis. "Awww," squealed Nel when the baby gurgled her spit again. "She's so cute. Hi, Artemis." She waved at the baby.

Nnoitra looked over the group and commented, "At least she's not creepy like the Cullen baby." He fell back trying to avoid Grimmjow's foot. He sat up and grumbled about the pain in his butt.

"Ya did good, babe," commented Grimmjow turning to his lover. "Ya did good." Blue eyes softened at the sight of the child. He looked to Ichigo from the baby and added, "By the way, ya aren't having anymore kids. I don't like others touchin' ya."

Ichigo shook his head at Grimmjow's possessive nature. "I love you, too, Grimmjow," he said.

Author's Note:

Just so you all know, I don't hate "Twilight." I just like making fun of it at times, especially the vampires. Vampires weren't meant to sparkle; they burst into flames.

Artemis is another one of my favorite Greek gods, so I had to make her super cool. :)

Anywho, thanks again for the support, and I hope you enjoyed the Epilogue. Notice how this is much shorter than my action packed chapters. lol Bye.