Naruto Nanny

Chapter Five

By: Ardent Bronze


When the two got home at 6:22 the house was still quiet, Naruto busied himself putting away all the groceries and other things that he picked up on his little early morning excursion with Ikki. Sakura wasn't on the couch anymore but the car was still parked out on the street behind the SUV so Naruto assumed that she must have dragged herself upstairs to her room and took this as an opportunity to clean the living room quickly. Ikki made a fuss about being put back into his room and Naruto needed both of his arms to pick up the dishes and vacuum, so they compromised. Naruto wore this odd little black sling with a red Uchiha crest embroidered onto it and Ikki laid in it babbling "Momma" over and over quietly while laying with Naruto's hair.

He finished with the living room and went into the kitchen where he finished his cleaning from the night before, going as far to wash out the cupboards and replace the shelf paper with a nice blue one with off white blossoms that looked darling, according to his inner interior decorator.

Sasuke made it downstairs in his sweat pants and a t-shirt with socked feet moments after Naruto poured himself a cup of coffee and snatched it out of his hands with a grunt of acknowledgment. Naruto scowled and got another clean mug out of the cupboard above his head and went back to working in the kitchen. He was currently cleaning out the barren refrigerator of anything icky, with a baby strapped to his chest, who was dozing lightly with a hand firmly knotted in Naruto's hair, that was quite a bit longer having not been styled and gelled up this morning.

"Morning, Sunshine." Naruto greeted the groggy man with a smirk. He was greeted with a slightly more aware grunt just in time for a sleepy Itachi to stumble into the kitchen and steal Naruto's coffee with a grunt.

"Jesus. The pot is right there, if you're not awake enough to see I then you aren't awake enough to be wandering around the kitchen. Go sit at the table before you all hurt yourself." Naruto told them herding the grown men to the table to sit down, slowly they started to wake up and said a proper good morning before picking up the morning paper that Naruto brought in.

After a while the kitchen filled with the smell of bacon and porridge and the sound of Naruto stirring the oatmeal in a pot and talking softly to a now wide awake Ikki who suddenly got very excited and squealed "MOMMY!" loudly in Naruto's ear which made the blonde wince and shush him playfully.

"What was that?" Sasuke asked, looking up at them in wonder.

"Hmm? Oh, Ikki got a little riled up and screamed," Naruto turned his attention back to the baby leaning against his shoulder, "And that's not very nice, is it? No it's not. Yelling in my ear isn't very nice. And waking up your brothers and sister isn't very nice either."

"Ikki talked?" Itachi asked, cutting off Naruto's cooing.

"Yeah, he's been saying 'Momma' and 'Mommy' all morning."

"My baby's first word," Sasuke laughed, standing up to tickle Ikki's belly, "Daddy's so proud of you!"

"You know he's not really talking right? He's just making sounds, he's not actually using it to communicate. Which is a little odd, he's 18 months old, right?" Naruto asked, a bit worried. Babies usually started talking a while ago, maybe he wasn't developing right and needed to see a doctor?

"He's fine. We already talked to a specialist, he said that he was just a little late to talk but his mental development was more refined then most in his age group. He understands when you speak, he just doesn't talk back," Sasuke said, refilling his mug with coffee. That was good, and the teenager had one less thing to worry about, now his biggest problem was cleaning the mold out of the washing machine from the wet clothes that were left in the machine for a week downstairs in the humid basement.


The table was covered in platters of food, stacks of buttermilk pancakes, a pot of coffee next to a picture of creme and the sugar bowl, syrup, butter,strawberry jam, and peanut butter we set around to the bowl of oatmeal, one dish had fluffy scrambled eggs, and another was warm with crispy bacon and sausage links.

The smell seems to have an attractive quality, only moments after Naruto finished setting the table straight the chairs filled up with the children who were sleeping up until recently. The sound of metal forks and knives hitting the porcelain bowls and plates was the loudest noise in the house, weeing as everyone was in a state of partial conscientiousness the conversation was at a minimum, even Ikki wasn't babbling "Momma" nonsensically.

When they were done, everyone was slightly more awake but equally just as quiet as they got up from the table and went back from whence they came. Naruto took that as a cue to get back to work, starting with washing Ikki because as cute as he is, babies are always more adorable clean and without maple syrup in their hair.

Bathing was a truly new experience for Naruto, In the beginning Ikki cried because he didn't want to get out of his dirty cloths and nappy, then he cried because he didn't want to sit in the warm water, then he didn't like his hair being washed and his face getting wet, so Naruto rushed his way through soaping up and rinsing off the irritated fussing baby but when it can time to towel him off he didn't want to get out and pitched a fit by displaying his displeasure and flinging water all over the bathroom and soaking Naruto's shirt which clung to him uncomfortably. Naruto shed his shirt and tossed it in the direction of one overflowing clothes hamper which he vowed to deal with after he dressed Ikki and Cleaned off the table.

Ikki was dressed in a white ones y and a pair of green corduroy overalls with little bronze colored snaps the attached his straps to the bib in the front and left to entertain himself in this play pen that was set up on the opposite corner of the crib and filled with various soft toys that he wouldn't need supervision to play with. Naruto set the big plastic walkies-talkie thing next to the pen and turned it on, taking the other one and putting it in his back pocket so he would know when the baby cried, and closed the door before setting off to clean up the house... starting with the laundry.


Around lunch Itachi popped into the living room where he was vacuuming under the glass coffee table holding the black synthetic dress dust bag that he came home with yesterday. Sasuke turned to volume on the television down when Naruto turned off the loud machine to ask Itachi if he needed anything.

"I don't need anything, I just thought you might want to open your... present." Itachi had scarey creepy grin on his face again, and it made the blonde weary.

"You didn't need to get me anything," Naruto chuckled nervously and scrubbed at the back of his head with the tips of his fingers.

"Of course I did, consider it a think you for forgetting to finish dressing this morning, and if it helps, its also your uniform." Itachi told him, grinning when Naruto started to blush.

"But I'm a live in, I work 24/7?"

"Oh hush, just open it," Itachi turned to his brother, who's feet were propped up on the coffee table, "You're going to love this."

Naruto pulled the zip down very carefully in case it got stuck or snagged on what ever was stuffed into the bag. When he pulled the sides away he wasn't impressed in the slightest, to say the least. When he got the hanger free from the dust cover and held it up against him he got even more irritated.

"Why did you find the need to buy me a dress?" Naruto asked, looking a bit apprehensively at the dress. It was a black and white maid's dress that cut off just above mid thigh and had about seven layers of tulle underneath that puffed out the black cotton skirt in a style that he recognized as 'Gothic Lolita' which was basically a doll dress for little girls made big enough that adult sized people could wear and make them feel cute. It came with a cute little white apron with ruffles of lace sewn across the edges and a cross styled straps and a thick white ribbon as an apron string at his waist. The only color in the whole outfit was the red portion of the Uchiha crest sewn on carefully. There was a black apron hanging behind it. "I am so not wearing a dress."

"It's a uniform, Naruto. You can't just not wear your uniform to work," Itachi told him with poorly hidden amusement.

"This is sexual harassment, and I'm a minor," Naruto argued.

"You're emancipated, you're recognized as an adult so don't think the whole minor citizen thing applies to you." Itachi told him. The two bickered tamely back and fourth about the likelihood of Naruto wearing the dress.

"Compromise you two," Sasuke told them, not looking away from the television.

"Fine, I won't make you wear the hair piece at the same time you wear the stalkings and high heels."

"Ha! I will not wear the uniform at all in exchange for not pouring bleach on all your ties,"

"Guys! Knock it off. Naruto doesn't have to wear the shoes or stalkings or dress, alright? Naruto, just wear an apron when your cooking and cleaning, yeah?" Sasuke said, finally looking at his brother and nanny.

And that is the story behind the possibly indecent, definitely unwanted, and totally inappropriate uniform that Naruto has to wear around the house between breakfast and bedtime six days a week. The uniform that no one would have ever tried to force Tenten to wear under any circumstances.


Donning the black apron and a band t-shirt for a group that he no longer listens to, Naruto fixed up four slices of buttered toast and three scrambled eggs and set them on a silver serving tray with a little pot of strawberry jelly and a mug of black coffee with little containers of non-dairy creamer, packages of sugar substitute, and two extra strength Tylenol for the remainders of any hangover Sakura possibly had resulting from yesterday.

Naruto navigated the stairs expertly as he balanced the tray with one hand and a dust rag in the other which he used to wipe down the glass panes and frames of the photos hanging on the wall which were mostly crooked and filthy. The third floor was mostly empty, and fairly clean if not unused looking. This was where Itachi and Sakura's rooms were, they each had a bathroom connected to their rooms like Sasuke and Naruto's did. The only other doors on the third floor that were in use was the linnet closets and broom cupboard where cleaning supplies and toilet paper rolls were stored.

When he got to Sakura's door, he stuffed a corner of the dust rag into the back pocket of his pants and knocked quietly on the door three times, but no one answered. He knocked again twice and waited for a full thirty seven seconds before he gently opened the door with one hand and poking his head through the empty door frame.

This room made the twin's bathroom look lovely, there was dirty clothes everywhere, piles in front of the closet, in the corner, a pair of pantyhose where hanging from the ceiling fan. It was gross, and very, very pink. The paint and wall paper was pink, the carpet was pink, the bed linens were pink along with all the furniture, including but not limited to the mini fridge with the microwave on top of it with the coffee machine on top of that.

On the bed there was a lump under the fluffy duvet, which wiggle a bit at the noise of the door opening, Naruto stepped carefully into the room avoiding stepping on a pair of extremely expensive heels in the doorway.

"Miss Sakura, are you awake?" Naruto asked carefully in a soft whisper. The lump groaned in discomfort before a wild Sakura appeared from under the mass of gaudy pink material. "I have some breakfast and medicine for your hangover."

It took a while to pick through the mess without stepping on anything before he got to the bedside and was able to place the tray in her lap. The young woman was still groggy and mostly unaware of her surroundings. After she took the white tablets the headache and fog from sleep began to fade and she finally noticed the unfamiliar boy standing in her bedroom.

"Who the fuck are you?" She asked in an unkind voice, raking a clawed hand through the rats' nest of hair on her head, mussed up from sleeping and whatever she spent her morning doing yesterday.

'She's obviously not a morning person,' Naruto thought to himself before attempting to answer in a pleasant voice, explaining how he was the new nanny and would run the household while the Uchiha brothers were out and she (presumptively) would be out of the house during the day. He also told her that he was going to be cooking the meals and had prepared her breakfast this morning and would be cleaning her room "if that's alright with you?"

He got a flick of the hand in dismissal and decided that he would come back for her dishes later and her dirty laundry. He had already decided that she really was a raging bitch, with no class, and obviously no taste in fashion. Pink became a color he now despised with a passion after seeing the monstrosity of her... cave.