The First Mistake
The first mistake I ever made was talking to James Potter in the first place. Of course, I, being but an innocent eleven year-old girl could not understand how talking to James Potter could change my life forever. I merely wanted to make friends. So when he and his friend Sirius asked if they could sit in our compartment, I said okay. Severus was not too happy about this, but I could care less. Sev was a great friend and all, but I couldn't just have one friend. Of course, I had decided to be Lily Evans, teenage socialite. What was I even thinking, trying to become a socialite? I was Lily Evans, not a socialite. See? This is why I should just be kept away from society. Prime example, here. The boys ended up babbling away about houses of all things. I knew (from Sev) that houses were like your Hogwarts family, but I figured it was one of those, "You get what you get and you don't get upset," things.
"Where are you heading, if you've got the chance then?" Black had asked him during their argument, I mean conversation, about their houses.
"Gryffindor, where the brave dwell at heart!" James said, pulling out a pretend sword. He was obviously lost in a sea of irrelevant fantasies about…sword fighting? I looked at him in disgust, "Got a problem with that?" he said, seeing the look on our faces.
"No…if you've rather be brawny than brainy…" Sev starts and I groan. There goes my plans for being a socialite. They argue about it for the rest of the train ride, and I, I am left in the middle of their argument, wishing I was anywhere else.
The Second Mistake
The second mistake I ever made was tattling on James Potter. It was third year. He and his friends had let a herd (would it be herd?) of Murtlap around the castle. Murtlap! As if everyone wasn't worrying enough about Voldemort's rising! Oh no, we got worried students and Murtlap! Wasn't that just wonderful? Hey everyone, come to Hogwarts! We've got worried students, worried teachers, a Dark Lord rising, and Murtlap. Come on people, don't you see the appeal.
"James Potter," I said, as I walked up to him after dinner, "I should've known."
"Should've know what exactly, Evans?" he asked casually.
"Should've known what?" I asked, fuming, "Should've known that you and your friends would be pathetic enough to set a herd of Murtlap around the school!"
"Is herd grammatically correct in that sentence?" he teased. He may have been enjoying himself, but I sure as day wasn't.
"You're not evening denying it!" I replied, as if that proved a point.
"I can't lie to you Evans," he replied, getting uncomfortably close, "Ever."
"Well, I wish that you could say that to Professor McGonagall," I replied, stepping away from him, "Maybe next time I'll save you the trouble." I walked away. He was speechless.
I did end up telling McGonagall though. They all received detention and for some odd reason, I felt incredibly guilty.
The Third Mistake
The third mistake I ever made was saying "No," to James Potter. It was four years later, in our seventh year, and admittedly, he had grown up. Of course, he was still childish with his mates and such, but people need to let loose sometimes, right?
"Hey Eva-Lily!" he called. I sighed.
"Couldn't contain yourself, could you?" I asked, shaking my head.
"Old habits die hard," he replied, "So Lily…"
"So James," I responded.
"I was wondering…I was wondering if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade," he asked hesitantly. Then, it was my turn to hesitate. Since we were Head Boy and Girl this year, we had made an agreement to get along, and slowly but surely, we had become…mates, I suppose is the right word. But somewhere along my ride on the "Mate Train" (as I like to call it), I had started to realize that my feelings for him might be strong than just casual mates. A lot more, if you catch my drift. Anyway, I had decided that feelings were just obviously because he was the male I was spending the most time with, and therefore had decided to ignore them. This year, James had refrained from asking me to Hogsmeade with him, which I was grateful for. So why did he have to bring it up now?
On one hand, if I said yes, it would become a thing. Everyone would be talking about me, and I don't find that to be particularly joyful. And then, if and when (for it was bound to happen) we had a fight, or broke up, the whole school would be talking about it.
On the other hand, if I said no, it would make our Head responsibilities incredibly awkward. It would make it harder to work together again. Plus, we probably wouldn't be mates anymore. As much as I hate to admit it, I like having James as a mate. He makes me laugh. Why oh why did he feel the need to bring this up again? I was perfectly happy before.
"Lily?" he asked, interrupting my contemplation. Inwardly, I groaned, though outwardly, I remained the epitome of cool.
"Merlin," I said, as I tripped over Avery's foot (I swear he put it there on purpose). So much for the epitome of cool.
"Are you okay?" he asked. No, I wasn't. My inner self is weighing the pros and cons of saying yes to you, something I've been doing for months. Isn't the weather just lovely?
"Fine," I replied, smiling a tad too brightly, "Just dandy James."
"Okay…" he said, looking as if he didn't believe me (and I don't blame him in the least), "You never answered my question."
"The one about Hogsmeade?" I asked. I had finally thought of an ideal solution. Play it dumb and get out of there as soon as humanly possible.
"Yeah…" he replied.
"Yes, I'm going to Hogsmeade, James," I rolled my eyes, "Contrary to popular opinion, I do actually have a life."
"Lily, I meant if you wanted to go with me," he said. Thanks a million, James. Way to put me in a tight spot there. I froze in place and began to ponder. What should I do?
"I'm sorry James," I said, "But I mean I like you, like as a mate, but I don't like you like that and I don't want everything to get awkward and…" Wait, what was I rambling about? Why was I telling him this? Shut up, Lily! James put his hand up.
"Enough Lily," he said and then shook his head and whispered so softly I almost didn't hear him, "You're going to break my heart." Then he walked away. Now I was frozen again (I mean, how annoying) but for an entirely different reason. I had broken someone's heart? Me, Lily, non-popular, socialite extraordinaire? This was not plausible. I think this was my first mistake. Obviously, I've made mistakes before, but they never felt this bad afterwards. I never felt this guilty…I think I realized my first mistake when he cried his heart would break.
Now I just had to fix it.
Fixing the Mistake
I would just like to make clear, that I am an extremely stubborn person. I also have a tendency to overthink and overreact to everything. It's pathetic, really. But, I will admit that I made a mistake saying no to Pot-I mean James (I guess old habits really do die hard). It was in Hogsmeade, the one he had asked me too…(here is where we ignore the part that I refused him)
I walked around Hogsmeade, trying to find him. It was January, and it was as cold as…something that's insanely cold. Like the North Pole! Yes. It was as cold as the North Pole (I bet James couldn't think of a better simile) but I somehow managed to wander (appearing aimless) around Hogsmeade. Obviously after a while I grew cold and ventured into the Three Broomsticks for a butterbeer. Of course, there he was. Sitting with his mates and…
He was sitting with Sara. Of course. Sara Robinson. She was much prettier than I, and she had had a crush on James forever.
Obviously he likes her better than me. And who wouldn't? Everybody loves Sara, smiling, happy, Sara, amazingly wonderful Sara, that is obviously a perfect match for James. I continued to grit my teeth. Quickly, before they could see me, I turned and went to the bar for my much needed butterbeer.
"Jealous, Evans?" I heard a voice behind.
"It's funny, even though I can't see you, that I can still sense your smirk," I retorted.
"We're a little upset today, aren't we Evans?" Sirius Black was standing next to me at the bar. And yes, he was smirking. I glared at him.
"Go away Black, I haven't got the time nor energy to argue with you today," I responded and turned away from him.
"You never answered the question," Sirius taunted.
"YES SIRIUS!" I screamed, "I AM JEALOUS OF JAMES AND SARA." I froze, realizing what I just did. Sirius looked taken aback.
"Evans-" he started.
"Are you happy now?" I asked and then walked out of the pub.
I didn't know where I was going, I just knew I had to get as far away from the Three Broomsticks as possible. How many students were in there? How many people heard? Oh, the whole pub heard, there's no denying it. And by tomorrow, it'll be all over the school. Everyone'll know, and I'll look like an idiot. I hate looking like an idiot. But you know what? I am an idiot. I should be sent to a different planet, to live with the all the other idiots, so that the normal world can function probably, and idiot can't cause all these rifts. That could work. Now all I needed was a rocket ship…was I really thinking about rocket ships right now?
My feet seemed to know where they were going, and I ended up by the Shrieking Shack. I was okay with that, I was away from human civilization-obviously where I belonged. I sat on a nearby rock, and started to cry. I was such an idiot. Idiot, idiot, idiot. And tomorrow, the rumors were going to start. Tomorrow…I didn't want to think about tomorrow. I'd rather just sit here and think about how much of an idiot I am. And how much I need a rocket ship. Those were things to think about. But not…
"Lily?" I heard someone behind me. What is with all these people sneaking up behind me? Why can't they just talk to my face? Wait, my face was in my hands. Seriously, does anyone have a rocket ship? I sat up straighter. Oh no. It was him. It was James. Of all people, why in the world did he have to come after me? He was the last person in the world I wanted to see right now… actually the last person in the galaxy (Because as soon as I find a damned rocket ship, I'll be an intergalactic traveler and too cool for measly, insignificant, planets). But here he was.
"Go away James," I said, and I was surprised how week my voice sounded, "As I told Sirius, I haven't got the energy to argue with you right now." He however, ignored me and sat right down next to me. I glared at him.
"Lovely weather we're having," he said, "A tad nippy though."
"James," I replied, "Are you really commenting on the weather?"
"Yes," he said, and put his arm around me. I smiled a little (okay, maybe a lot, but that's beside the point).
"Why are you here?" I asked.
"Are you going to run away if I tell you?" he asked.
"James-" I started.
"Just tell me that you will stay," he replied.
"I-I'll stay," I said softly.
"Good," he smiled.
"Are you going to answer my question?" I asked, but he never responded. Instead his lips crashed onto mine. And I had no intention of running away.
"So you were jealous of Sara and I, huh?" he asked, breaking the kiss.
"James!" I shouted, "Now?"
"You're right, we'll talk about this later," he said and I rolled my eyes.
I think I fixed my mistakes.
A/N-Over 2000 words! One of my longest ever! I'm getting into doing longer one shots, score for me! Okay, so this is my first attempt writing Lily/James, even though I've been wanting to write them forever! I'm thinking of writing some more Marauders Era, because I really loved this, so please, please, please tell me what you think! This was for Fire the Canon's Dark Side 3 with the prompt "Just tell me that you will stay," and Gamma Orionis' Emile Autumn Challenge with the prompt, "I think I realized my first mistake when he cried his heart would break." Also, Commentarius by BC Daily also inspired me to start writing Marauders Era, so this is dedicated to BC Daily (if you know, she ever sees it). Commentarius is a great story and you should read it! I hope you enjoyed!