Naruto: Fishcake Chronicles

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any videogame for that matter. And I don't own Majin's or Chibi's stories. I'm simply making my own.

Welcome to HKN's newest story, the Fishcake Chronicles! This story is quite different from the norm of Naruto fics, but I couldn't resist writing this! I know I have A Commander's Creed still due, but I wanted to start a new story.

I based this off of Majin Hentai X's Naruto: Game of the Year Edition and Chibi-Reaper's Naruto the Videogame. You'll notice some or a lot of similarities in the beginning and throughout the story but I have my own twists in store to make it my own.

So, without further ado, let the games begin!

Pun intended.

Chapter One: Game Over?

XxX Chapter Begin XxX

"RASENGAN!"

"CHIDORI!"

Massive power exploded in the valley as the two titans clashed their mightiest techniques against each other. A dark sphere formed around them and their quarry, crashing into the statues of Hashirama Senju and Madara Uchiha. The statues crumbled to pieces as the globe of power collided with them.

The sphere started to glow white from the core. On the inside, something happened.

A clawed hand pierced one's chest while another clawed hand scratched the other's headband.

The sphere turned blindingly white as it shone with an amazing radiance. As it did, it started to fade and what was left appeared.

A raven-haired boy stood over a blond-haired boy who lay unmoving, a bloody hole in his chest. A scratched headband with a leaf insignia lay fallen next to the blond, belonging to the raven-haired boy.

"Looks like you couldn't bring me back… Naruto." Sasuke said, his voice a mixture of regret, sadness, and yet, with a sense of moving.

For once, he didn't refer to him insultingly, in respect to his friend and for the dead. He turned, looking out towards Otogakure before limping towards it. "I'll see you later… on the other side. After I've killed Itachi."

Naruto lay on the destroyed ground, not breathing as his teacher soon came by.

Kakashi's eye opened wide as he saw his student's body. A boom sounded throughout the air as it thundered and started to rain. Tears leaked out as he saw his blond student, without pulse, dead.

Pakkun squat next to him, a sad expression on his pug face as he saw Naruto's body. "Kakashi… I'm sorry. With the rain, there's no scent left of Sasuke. And with Naruto dead…"

'Look's like I've failed another comrade, huh, Minato-sensei? I wish I could say I'm not surprised.'

"I'm… sorry Naruto. I should've done more to help you… I should've been here to protect you. But I wasn't." He grabbed Naruto's body and carried it back to Konoha to report a failed mission… and a lost comrade.

XxX Somewhere… XxX

"Looks like Sasuke killed me, huh?" Naruto said as he smiled sadly. "Well, looks like that's the end of the road for me." There was nothing but the infinite darkness surrounding him that he saw. "So where am I? Heaven? Hell? An infinite pit of darkness that I've into with no way out?"

All of a sudden, large red words popped out in his face and he screamed and fell on his ass. "What the fuck?"

Game Over! You Lose! His eyes widened in shock as he read the words.

A scroll appeared and rolled out in front of him. Words quickly appeared and disappeared as he read them.

Score:

Age: Thirteen; 130 points

Jutsus Mastered:

Henge; 20 points

Orioke; 20 points

Kawarimi; 20 points

Exercises Mastered:

Tree-climbing; 20 points

Water-walking; 20 points

Kage Bunshin learned; 100 points

Kage Bunshin fighting tactics created (2); 50 points

Naruto Rendan created; 25 points

Naruto Rendan variations created (1); 25 points

Rasengan learned; 100 points

Toad summons acquired; 150 points

Enemies Beaten:

Defeated Haku; 100 points

Defeated Kiba; 75 points

Defeated Neji; 125 points

Defeated Gaara; 200 points

Defeated Kabuto (1); 150 points

Earned precious person: Tsunade; 100 points

Avoid capture from Akatsuki (1); 50 points

Subtotal: 1350 points

Used Kyuubi's chakra (5); -250 points

Lost precious person: Haku; -100 points

Lost precious person: Sandaime; -300 points

Curse Seal given; -125 points

Failed preventing Sasuke's defection; -125 points

Died in battle; -150 points

Killed by Sasuke; -150 points

Ignored Hinata; -200 points

Broke nindo: Sakura; -400 points

Died a virgin; -1000 points

Subtotal: -2800 points

Total: -1450 points

Rating: Pathetic! You suck!

Karma: Good: Model hero!

Naruto's eye twitched in anger at the lost incident of point loss. He lost the most points just because he was thirteen and didn't get laid by then?

"This shit cannot be happening…" he mumbled to himself, repeatedly slamming his head on the now white… whatever he was standing on. "I'm just having a really, really, REALLY bad dream that I died and found out my life is a video game. Or," he said, suddenly straightening up, "I've gone to hell."

Naruto just stood there, his chest suddenly swelling up as he took in a large breath.

"FUCK!" he screamed beyond the top of his lungs for what seemed like a minute.

He panted heavily as he pulled at his hair like a madman. "Why, why, why is this happening?"

Fortunately, a response soon came to him… in the form of a set of blocky words that, once again, appeared so suddenly that he screamed quite loudly. "STOP DOING THAT!" he bellowed.

Continue? Below the word was two blocks with two options: Yes and No.

He just stared. "Is this a joke?" The blocks just floated there, waiting for an answer. "Yes?" A tune rang out and the Yes block exploded, sending him flying and screaming into the sky.

If he knew what awaited him in the road ahead, he would've chosen No in a heartbeat.

XxX

"WAAAAH!" He screamed as he shot through the air, stopping as he burst through some clouds.

"Pffft!" That was the sound of him spitting out clouds. "You birds are lucky I don't go hunting!" he shouted down below. "If I did, you'd all be the first ones I'd roast!" And that was the sound him being an idiot… again. He could have sworn he'd heard some insolent caws as he turned to look in front of him. His eyes widened to comical proportions as he looked before himself.

"Dear Kami…" he whispered. In front of him were four rows of humongous words.

FISHCAKE CHRONICLES: NARUTO THE VIDEOGAME

NEW GAME

LOAD GAME

OPTIONS

"What kind of title is that?" he shouted, tic appearing, eyebrow twitching. "Is that some stupid play on my name? And what the hell is a videogame?" He continued to rant.

After continuously ranting for a minute, he stopped. "Let's see… I have three things I can do. What does Sakura call it… oh yeah, deducting on context, or something. 'New Game' means I probably start over… not exactly a good idea, since Kakashi-sensei always says it's not a good idea to rush into things." He thought aloud. "Oh, screw it. It's not like my life can get any worse."

Naruto jumped up and stomped on the block. When he hit it, another two blocks appeared.

ARE YOU SURE YOU WISH TO START A NEW GAME?

YES

NO

Naruto rolled his eyes in exasperation and hit the YES block. The block exploded into confetti before the world turned black. Suddenly, a loud booming voice overshadowed everything.

In the era of ninja, there were many great and powerful ninja. However, there was one truly exceptional ninja who was born on a day of disaster. Naruto Uzumaki was born on the day of the attack of the Kyuubi.

This is his story.

"The hell?" he scowled. "Is somebody narrating my life?"

Before he could crudely ponder anything else, he started shrinking, making him scream. "What the fuck is happening?!"

He was soon baby size and wet. 'I'm turning into a baby?!' he thought since he was unable to speak.

Suddenly, he was in the Hokage Tower, watching a beautiful red-haired woman screaming as a blond-haired man was holding her hand, a fire in his eyes. Outside, there were sounds of destruction.

"Kushina, you can do it! You can do it! Push!" the blond man who looked an awful lot like Naruto. 'They… they must be my parents. That means today's the day the Kyuubi attacked!'

Kushina gave one final scream and Naruto was being pulled towards his body. 'Well, time for take two.' That was the last thing he thought before he reentered his body.

"WAAAAAH!" he bawled as he was pulled out from Kushina. Of course, what he tried to say ended up as crying and baby gibberish. What he was trying to say was, "GODDAMN ITS COLD!"

"Minato-sama, it's a boy!" the doctor proclaimed loudly, both he and the newly named Minato with huge smiles as Naruto was being wrapped up in a blanket.

"Kushina, look at baby Naruto! I bet he'll take after daddy in looks! Isn't he a beautiful baby?" he exclaimed excitedly to his tired wife.

"Let… let me… hold him." She panted, weakly holding her arms out. She grabbed him in a soft hug and fell back against the bed, barely able to hold baby Naruto against her. "I'll always love you, Naruto."

'So this is what it feels like to have a mother love you…' Naruto thought, stunned as she snuggled up against him.

"Yondaime-sama! The fox is almost here! You must complete the sealing!" the medic shouted.

"Yes I-I have to, for the village." Minato said, choked up in sadness. Kushina's eyes filled with fright.

"No! I… I won't let you take him! I won't let him live such a life!" she screamed. Meanwhile, Naruto was blabbering baby gibberish again.

What he was trying to say was, "MY DAD'S THE YONDAIME! WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME!"

"Kushina, there's no other way. He's the only one that can save the village." Minato said, sadness in his eyes.

Kushina hugged Naruto close to her, tears streaming down from her eyes. "Naruto… you're going to experience a lot of pain and suffering. Remember who you are! Find a goal… a dream… and don't stop trying until it comes true. There's… there's so much more that I want to say… to teach you… I want to stay with you… I love you."

Naruto immediately started crying again as he was taken by Minato, who also had tears streaming down from his eyes. Minato disappeared in a yellow flash before reappearing in midair.

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" he shouted. A large boom of smoke appeared with a massive toad smoking a pipe.

"Who has summoned me? Minato? What do you need?" Gamabunta bellowed as he looked at the Yondaime. The aforementioned Hokage grimly pointed at the scene of the Kyuubi tearing apart the village.

"The Kyuubi? Well then, Minato, if we die, it has been a great ride being your summon. What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to seal him into my newly born son, Naruto. I'm afraid this is the end of the road for me, Bunta."

"Alright then, I'll get you close enough to work your magic. Any last words you want me to pass on?"

Minato had a feral grin. "Yeah, if Ero-sensei neglects his duties as Naruto's godfather," he said, not noticing Naruto's look of shock at the revelation about Jiraiya, "when he dies, he's getting a Rasengan enema." Gamabunta chuckled.

"You made that lazy perv his godfather? Well, I'm not surprised." A roar from the rampaging demon fox returned their attention to the situation at hand. "Time to slay a demon fox." Gamabunta drew his knife before leaping at the fox, ready to stab it.

Meanwhile, Naruto's mind was running a mile a minute. 'The Yondaime's my dad? Ero-sennin's my godfather? Why the fuck didn't anybody tell me about this?'

"Now, Minato!" Gamabunta shouted, struggling to pin the furious Kyuubi. Minato had a fire burn in his eyes before quickly running through some handseals.

"SHIKI FUUJIN!" Minato roared. After that, everything grew dark for Naruto as he was pulled into to unconscious.

When Naruto came to, he was inside a cradle, being rocked by a smiling Sarutobi, now newly reinstated as Hokage. At seeing the Sandaime, Naruto was conflicted. On one hand, he was happier than an Akimichi in an all-you-can-eat buffet to see his surrogate grandfather alive. On the other hand, he was furious that Sarutobi hadn't told him who his parents were, and decided to vent that anger.

"WHY DID YOU NEVER TELL ME I WAS THE SON OF THE YONDAIME OR ERO-SENNIN'S GODSON?!" he bawled. 'Then again, if he did, I probably would have yelled it from the top of the Hokage mountain. And I probably would have tripled assassination attempts on me.'

The old Hokage laughed and patted Naruto's head. "Well, Minato was right. He will have his dad's looks. But he will definitely have his mother's temper."

"And don't forget his godfather's charm." Another voice said, revealed to be a grinning Jiraiya on top of the open window's windowsill.

'The hell I will. More like his need to go after some ass.' Naruto thought, his tiny eyebrow twitching.

"Yes, yes, Naruto will have all of that." Sarutobi chuckled. "By the way, you do realize that Minato will give you hell after death if you don't do your job as his godfather." Jiraiya winced.

"I know, Bunta just told me that if I don't, when I reach heaven, Minato'll give me 'a Rasengan enema'." Both men shuddered at the thought.

"How's Kushina?" Jiraiya asked, fearing the answer slightly. Sarutobi's eyes grew sad at the thought of her. "Dead. She died a while after childbirth."

Jiraiya looked grief-stricken. "I see. Looks like little Naruto will grow up alone." Sarutobi frowned.

"Are you sure you can't take care of him?"

"Sensei, I'm our spymaster. I'm always on the road. That's no life for a child. And I know you'll make sure to take care of him."

The Sandaime sighed and lit his pipe. "True. I'll try my best." They both had a moment of silence in memory of the lives lost before exiting the room to let Naruto sleep.

However, just as they left the room, an ANBU with a Lizard mask appeared and picked up Naruto. "Die, Kyuubi!" they roared as they threw Naruto out the window.

Luckily, the window wasn't shut so it didn't break into numerous glass shards that would have cut apart baby Naru's body. Unluckily, they were at the top of the Hokage Tower. As Naruto flew out the window and fell to his death, a baby's shrieking cries were heard.

One didn't have to be psychic to know he meant to scream, "YOU MOTHERFUCKERRRRR!"

XxX Chapter End XxX

I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of Fishcake Chronicles. Hopefully I'll have gotten a great amount of reviews.

I'm of course praying that I don't catch too much flak from Majin or anybody for my story. Majin, if you're reading this, you're story is amazing. I hope mine is as good as yours.

Well, read and review (crossing my fingers for not TOO many flames). Give me your flames, constructive criticism, and compliments. If you like it, tell me.

King, signing out.