Shinigami-cat: So a while ago I started playing Lollipop Chainsaw and I kind of thought, why not? I OWN NOTHING!
It's the first of July, which means its Matthew's birthday. What could be better than going to the park on campus and spending the day with his boyfriend? Too bad there's a zombie apocalypse going on.
Blood, swearing, and all kinds of stuff.
Maple Syrup Chainsaw
The sound of his alarm clock going off made Matthew roll onto his stomach and hit the snooze button. He was tired. He didn't want to get up. But inevitably the alarm went off again and Matthew hauled himself out of bed. He sat up, yawned and stretched, before putting on his glasses and looking at his calendar.
"1st of July? I know that's important… But why is it?" Suddenly he gasped, his eyes widening in shock. "It's my birthday!" He quickly looked at the time and cursed. "Maple! I'm late!" He quickly got up and ran over to his wardrobe.
Today was Matthew's 18th birthday, but that wasn't why it was important. Today he was going to introduce his boyfriend to his family and it was scaring him shitless.
Firstly here's a little info about our boy Matthew before we get started. Matthew Williams is your typical gay high school student; he attends Hetalia World academy, lives on campus, is the star player on the hockey team and is also on the gymnastics team, much to his despair. It wasn't that he didn't like gymnastics it was more that it was a family tradition to do it. Even his brother had done gymnastics.
Alfred was Matthew's older brother. Last year he won a gold medal in shooting at the local hunter's club. He beat everyone by a long shot with minimal effort. He likes to tell everyone he meets that he's the hero.
At the moment Matthew's younger cousin Steve is staying with his parents. Steve used to live in Australia before he came to live in Canada. He just got his licence last week. This made Matthew believe that the people who give out licences were insane. After all Steve had caused three pile ups in the last two days alone.
Now for his parents… Everyone says that his Papa, Francis is a total player that'll jump into anyone's pants… Well, considering the stories Matthew heard about his papa from people, he could see how they got that impression. But his papa was very loyal to Matthew's dad and wouldn't dare cheat on him with anyone. Yes, his parents were gay.
His Dad, Arthur was your typical grumpy British bloke; all suit and tie, killed anyone if they tried to talk to him while he was watching Doctor Who, Queen loving, bad cook kind of guy… Also he had a habit of forgetting who Matthew was or mistaking him for Alfred. But he and Francis were deeply in love and that's all that really mattered.
Speaking of love, back to Matthew's boyfriend of eight months. His name was Gilbert and was an albino, which automatically made him awesome… Well according to him it did anyway. Matthew couldn't believe how much he loved Gilbert, it was crazy.
After school they were both going to go over to Matthew's house where his papa had promised him that they were going to have a party for him. Gilbert was freaking out about meeting Matthew's family for the first time, and Matthew was freaking out for the same reason. His family wasn't exactly normal. They had some traditions that would seem odd to others.
Matthew sighed and quickly pulled on a pair a shorts and tight fitting T-shirt. These were the clothes he usually practiced in for gymnastics. Hopefully he could get some practice in before school started. He quickly shoved some jeans and his red hoodie into his gym bag and slung it over his shoulder. If Gilbert had his way, Matthew would be practicing gymnastics in a leotard like the girls wear.
He chuckled at that thought and quickly downed a bottle of maple syrup before running down stairs to jump on his BMX bike that Steve had gotten for him as an Xmas present last year and ride to the campus park. He quickly peddled down the side of the road as fast as he could, not bothering to take in his surroundings.
"Oh maple!" He muttered. "Gilbert's going to be so mad! He's so not going to be happy with me… Wait a second? Please tell me that's a zombie flash mob…" Several students were walking down the street in an undead fashion. This could have been a zombie flash mob, if it wasn't for the fact that someone's arm was falling off and another person's guts were hanging out. "Okay, they're zombies!"
Without thinking he started to speed up, knocking any zombie that came his way to the ground. 'This sucks!' He thought. 'Of all the days for this to happen… OH SHIT! SCHOOL BUS!'
Problem 1. There's a flipped school bus blocking the road. There is no way around it. You can't stop your bike in time. How do you get around it without dying a painful death?
Solution. Thank the lord that your parents forced you to take gymnastics your whole life.
Without even thinking Matthew jumped over the bus, performing an acrobatic flip while he was at it and landed on his feet on the other side. On the other side to greet him were about ten zombies.
"Seriously?" Cried Matthew. "What the hell is going on here?" He reached into his gym bag and pulled out a miniature chainsaw. He would have to thank Alfred later for making him carrying one in his gym bag at all times.
He pulled the cord and let the engine rev for a few seconds before charging at the zombies. In a matter of second's blood, guts and body pieces were everywhere. Matthew sighed and started to jog to the park. 'It's not like I'm not late enough… Why did this happen on my birthday? This sort of thing would never happen to Alfred on his birthday…'
In love with: Gilbert Beilschmidt
Favourite weapon: Miniature chainsaw
Favourite food: Maple syrup
Hobbies: Hockey, gymnastics, reading and bisecting the undead
Secret kink: Likes wearing leotards when no one's around
He ran over to the main gate which lead to the main ground of the school and sighed dramatically. The gate was bolted shut. "Of all the days to lock this gate…" With one swift swing of his chainsaw he cut through the lock. He kicked the gate open and started to walk towards the park. Hopefully Gilbert wasn't one of the undead yet.
Everywhere he looked, there were zombies and where ever there was a zombie, Matthew and his chainsaw weren't far behind. He left a trail of undead zombie bits everywhere on his quest to get to the park. All that mattered to him was getting there and making sure Gilbert was still alive. If he had to kill Gilbert because he was a zombie it would be the worst birthday ever.
When he eventually got there he was more than a little pissed that the place was overrun with zombies. "Maple!" He cried as he sliced his chainsaw through a female zombie's stomach. "I don't need this today!" In a matter of seconds the zombie hoard had surrounded him and were lashing out at him, trying to bite him.
Problem 2. Surrounded by the undead with no way to escape. If they grab you, you'll die. If they bite you, you'll die. You can't do any awesome gymnastics to get out. How do you get out of there without dying horribly?
Solution. Bitch have you ever seen what happens when a Canadian is super pissed? As in their hockey team just lost the finals pissed?
Without hesitation Matthew let the hoard get within arms-length of him before he spun around in a circle, killing most of the zombies. The ones that didn't get sliced to ribbons said hello to Matthew's foot.
When he was sure they were all dead he turned off his chainsaw and looked around. "Gilbert?" He called. "Gilbert where are you? It's okay to come out!" Every second he didn't see Gilbert made him quake in fear. If Gilbert was a zombie he would cry. "Please Gilbert! Please come out! Please…"
He sighed and turned around only to come face to face with a zombie. Before he could scream in shock a white blur tackled the zombie to the ground. Matthew smiled happily. This was his boyfriend, Gilbert.
In love with: Matthew AKA Birdie
Favourite food: Matthew's pancakes
Favourite drink: Good German beer
Hobbies: Being awesome, bass guitar, masturbating
Suddenly Gilbert cried out in pain and fell to his side clutching his wrist. "FUCK! SHIT! FUCKING ZOMBIE!" While Gilbert was writhing in agony the zombie got to his feet, but Matthew quickly chopped off its head before it could do anymore harm.
With the zombie dead he quickly ran to his boyfriend's side. "Gilbert… Are you okay?"
Gilbert groaned in pain. "A zombie bit me… But are you okay?"
Matthew looked at Gilbert's wrist, looking at the bite mark. He could feel tears building up in his eyes. "I'm fine… I was fine until this happened…"
Gilbert smiled a little half-heartedly. "Sorry… I kind of ruined your birthday… Shit I'm going to become a zombie aren't I?"
Matthew nodded sadly. "Yeah… But don't worry about my birthday. I didn't even realize it was my birthday until I looked at the calendar."
Gilbert groaned in pain, the zombie side starting to take over. "Birdie… I love you…" He closed his eyes, still groaning in pain.
Tears filled Matthew's eyes. This wasn't how he expected his birthday to go at all, but he couldn't wallow in sadness. Not when he remembered something he could do to save Gilbert. He wiped his tears away and stood up, grabbing his chainsaw. "No! This is not how it's going to end! Not today of all days! There's still something we can try!"
Matthew pulled the cord on the chainsaw again, starting it up. At the sound of the chainsaw starting again Gilbert opened his eyes and gulped. "Matthew? What the fuck?"
Matthew raised the chainsaw high into the air, smiling slightly. "I love you Gilbert." He brought the chainsaw down on Gilbert's neck.
XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX
Gilbert groaned. His mind was still cloudy as he tried to remember what had happened earlier that day. Firstly he got up and ate some toast before heading off to the park with his boyfriends birthday present tucked under his arm.
He was sitting in the campus park when all hell broke loose, and by all hell he means the zombies. He escaped by climbing up a tree. He was freaking out. He thought for sure he was going to die, heck he thought that Matthew was dead. That was until the usually shy, timid Canadian ran into the park carrying a chainsaw and going all Rambo on their undead asses.
Luckily he snapped out of his shocked state long enough to see the zombie sneaking up on his blond and knocked its undead ass to the ground… Unfortunately he ended up getting bitten and got his head chopped off, but that wasn't possible. He would be dead if that happened, right?
He groaned and opened his eyes. Smiling down at him was Matthew. It looked like they were inside a classroom now and not outside. "Gilbert, you're still alive."
"Matthew?" Muttered Gilbert. "What happened? Am I okay?"
Matthew bit his lip nervously. "Well… yes and no…"
Gilbert gulped. "But I'm not a zombie right?"
"You're not a zombie." Said Matthew with a nervous smile.
Gilbert sighed and tried to sit up. "Okay, just tell me what…" His eyes went wide with fear. "Why can't I feel my arms? Why can't I feel my legs? He looked down and gasped in shock. Matthew was holding his severed head in his hands. He no longer had a body. "FUCK!"
"I'm sorry!" Cried Matthew. "It was the only way I could save you! Please don't be made at me!"
"I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING BODY!" Screamed Gilbert. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO ME? HOW THE FUCK AM I STILL ALIVE? I'M A FUCKING HEAD! HOW CAN I BREATH WITHOUT A SET OF LUNGS?"
Matthew bit his lip nervously and put Gilbert on the floor. He sat in front of him and sighed sadly, guilt was written all over his face. "Please don't get mad… I didn't know what to do. I performed a magical ritual on your head. It was really hard, but if I didn't do it the venom would have seeped into your brain and turned you into a zombie."
Gilbert took a deep breath and sighed, trying to calm himself a little. "Okay… But um… How exactly do you know how to perform a magical ritual on my severed head?"
Matthew looked down at his lap and twiddled his thumbs nervously. "Um… Well there's some stuff I haven't told you about me yet… I didn't want you to think I was weird. I'm kind of… sort of… You see um…"
The sound of the classroom door slamming open made Gilbert gasp. Three zombies were lurching into the classroom. "Matthew!"
"Please let me finish." Said Matthew. "You see I'm a…"
"I'm sort of a…"
"ZOMBIES! GOING TO KILL US! WHY DON'T YOU SEE THIS?" Screamed Gilbert in a panic. He was already a decapitated head. He didn't want to be a zombie decapitated head.
Matthew sighed and grabbed his chainsaw. "I'm a zombie hunter."
Matthew quickly stood up and clipped Gilbert's head to his pants and he started his chainsaw up again. "Please don't hate me!"
Shinigami-cat: Randomness is random sorry that Matthew's OC, but hopefully it'll only be for the first chapter or two… Please review!