The Red Side of a Blue Moon

~Noy Telinú~

Warning: fanfiction can make you do crazy things, so please, do not kill the person you're urged to kill for no reason after reading this. Cuz that's how John Lennon died… how the hell did the Catcher in the Rye do that anyway? It's not even that bad! Even I can make something more vulgar… and I'm the Text!

Fusion: fall is a great game… or so I've been told… They should add Sailor Moon and Ranma ½ to it…

Caution: canon is screwed cuz Noy played fusion fall… not really… but… yeah… so some characters don't make it…

Thanks!: to tuatara, who begged for this, Fukufics, for answering questions, and Noy Telinú, for giving me, the Text, life just so that I can be crazy! ^_^

You have been warned…



A long time ago, before the dark times, before the internet…

There was a moon orbiting around the third planet in the Sol system in the galaxy Milky Way. On that moon was a kingdom, a kingdom on the moon. Though, oddly enough, there was no king. Rather, a queen ruled the moon.

Unfortunately, due to some family… issues… the queendom (because it can't really be a kingdom without a king… really) was destroyed and forgotten by the people of Earth.

However, because of a little thing called MAGIC, a new kingdom (or queendom) may rise from the ashes of that little family feud thousands of years into the future….


Meanwhile, in the future

"I wish our neighbors would stop blasting that music everyday…" Akane sighed as she walked to school with her sisters.

"Now, now, little sister, you just fail to appreciate the arts," her eldest sister Michiru replied, smiling. "I feel that it brings excitement to our journey to school."

"Speaking of school, did you finish your homework, Akane?" Ami asked politely.

Akane threw her arms in the air. "Yes, yes, of course I did! Just because you're the genius twin doesn't make me an idiot!"

Michiru tried to not laugh, her hand moving in front of her mouth failing to prevent it. "Little sister… she wouldn't ask everyday if she didn't care… plus, you forgot your math homework on the table this morning."

Akane let out a groan and smacked her forehead.

Michiru shook her head and gave the missing homework to Akane.

"I hate being the stupid one," Akane mumbled.

"Oh, you're not stupid, just… a bit forgetful…" Ami tried to help. "Besides, after hours upon hours of training with Father it can be difficult to remember your homework…"

Akane let out a sigh. "I guess. *sigh* Too bad he won't push my abilities… I want to get better, but…"

"Nyrall…" went a cat.

The three sisters turned to see a black cat scratching its head in the alley… covered in BLOOD.

While her two older sisters wore shocked faces, Akane rolled her eyes in annoyance and approached the cat.

"Honestly! Who would beat up a cat?" Akane bent down to the cat's level. "Here, let me get that, kitty…"

Akane then pulled off the bandage that was irritating the cat.

"Um… Akane… you aren't thinking of bringing that cat home, are you?" Ami took a deep breath. "Remember the last time you tried to keep a pet?"

Michiru rubbed her forehead. "I remember. That dog almost broke my violin."

"I SAID I was sorry!" Akane yelled. "But I can't leave a cat this beaten up on its own…"

That's when Akane noticed that the cat was nowhere to be seen.

"Come on, you two, we have school to go to," Michiru stated as she continued along.

The twins sighed. "Yes, honorable big sister…"


"I still think you were a bit harsher today with the morning fight…" Ami commented as she walked home with her twin.

Akane snorted. "Fine. Yes, I was… but they deserved it! At least big sis's boyfriend knew when to stop… Honestly! Hitting on his girlfriend's sister! I'm surprise big sis didn't pound him into the ground!"

"That's your answer to everything…" Ami sighed.

"I still don't like him… and if he gets her pregnant…" Akane shook her fist.

'No chance of THAT happening.' Ami held back a smile. "Don't worry about it. Big sister has… odd ways to punish Haruka…"

"At least he doesn't grope me…" Akane mumbled. "What does she see in him, anyway?"

Ami smiled, knowingly. "Oh, just something no other man can give her-"

*Crack* A tree branch snapped.

"YEOWLL!" came from above.

The blue-haired twins looked up, only to see a black cat come falling down right at Akane.

*CRASH* The tree branch hit Akane in the head the same time the cat reached her.

Akane lay there, giant, pinkish welt on her head, and cat nowhere to be seen.

"'Kane! 'Kane, are you alright?" Ami asked, kneeling over her injured twin.

"Hey… there are three of you…" Akane slurred. "Are we five…ets? Where'd kitty…?"

"Oh no, you're delirious!" Ami gently touched Akane's giant pink welt. "Stay still, I think I have some medical supplies in my bag…"

"But Doctor… I like the kitty… I want a kitty…" Akane said, cross-eyed.

"That should do it." Ami dusted off her hands when she was finished bandaging her twin. "How many fingers do I have?"

"Six…" Akane answered, still hallucinating.

"Oh, this is bad…" Ami looked at the giant tree branch that fell on Akane. "Good thing we're almost home."

"But the kitty is my friend…" Akane spewed.

Ami shook her head and dragged Akane home.

It was only after getting Akane comfortable that Ami noticed that their father wasn't home.

Shrugging, Ami sat next to her twin, watching over her.

'Nothing else looks bad…' Ami observed. 'Just her head… and that her breasts are moving- wait a minute…'

Just then, a black cat popped out from between Akane's breasts and meowed in a British accent (but in Japanese for some reason).

Unsurprisingly, it was picked up relatively easily by Ami.

"You've caused a lot of trouble today…" Ami looked between the cat's legs. "Miss Cat. And you still look terrible. What an odd looking scar…"

Ami took a look at Akane, not noticing that the cat was as well. Seeing her twin asleep, Ami carried the odd black cat to the bathroom to wash her up.

Moments later, Michiru came through the door.

"Akane?" The oldest Tendo daughter worriedly kneeled beside the unconscious girl. "What happened to you?"

After brushing the unconscious girl's hair aside, Michiru left for the kitchen.

Moments later, she came back with some tea and a washcloth as she cared for her sister.

"Honorable older sister…" Ami addressed Michiru as the younger girl came back from the bathroom. "Akane was hit by a falling tree branch, caused by this cat."

The cat in question looked nervous as she gazed at Michiru. "Nyra?"

"Oh, my head…" Akane spoke suddenly. "What happened?"

Both sisters sighed in relief.

Ami gave Akane the cat. "This little thing caused a large branch to fall on you. You were hit pretty badly, but at least the swelling has gone down."

Akane stared at the cat as she held it away from her. "Hey… you're that cat from earlier… the one with that bald spot under the bandage…"

'I thought that cat looked familiar…" Michiru tapped her chin. "It seems to have followed you…"

Akane smiled. "Are you following me?"

The cat seemed to hesitate, eyes darting back and forth. "Nyra!"

'Odd… mighty odd…' Ami observed silently.

"Oh, you're so cute!" Akane turned towards Michiru. "Can we keep it?"

Michiru bit her lip. "I don't know… Father might disapprove after that last cat incident…"

"IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" Akane defended, loudly. "Besides, none of the koi were eaten…"

"Barely…" Ami added.

After a moment to think it over, Michiru nodded.

"Yes!" Akane squeezed her new cat. "I won't let you down THIS time! Now… a name… hmmm…"

"Akane! You're choking the poor girl!" Ami said in alarm.

Akane eased up, embarrassed. "Sorry! Um… hmmm… how about Kitty?"

The cat shook her head venomously.

"She doesn't seem to like it…" Ami stated the obvious.

"How about… C-chan?" Akane stated.

The cat facepalmed.

"That's a horrible name, little sister!" Michiru exclaimed.

"Um… you do have that weird mark on your head… Moonie?" Akane asked.

The cat sighed, head lowered.

"Nyan?" Akane pleaded.

The cat shook her head.

"Poptart?" Akane sweated.

The cat double facepalmed.

Ami couldn't take it. "How about Luna?"

"Luna?" the other girls asked, confused.

"It's Latin for moon… it's one of my 3 language courses this year…" Ami answered.

Luna nodded.

"Guess she likes it…" Akane mused. "See ya, bye!"

And with that the blue-haired twin with long hair dashed off to her room.

"… Sometimes I'm glad I'm the older one, even if it's just by a few minutes…" Ami sighed. "I can't image having to ask her for help with my homework."

"There, there…" Michiru hugged Ami. "Our Akane is just… has different… skills…"

"I know. You're right…." Ami sighed again. "I just hope it didn't give her brain damage."

Michiru smiled. "Why, never! Doctor Ami would NEVER EVER allow her patient to have brain damage under her watch."

Ami smiled as well.


That night, while everyone else was asleep, Luna patted Akane on the nose.

"Psst! Akane!" the cat spoke with a British accent in Japanese… for some reason.

Akane grumbled and turned her head.

"Akane!" Luna called louder, pawing her face.

"Nwhuhruhuh…" Akane turned again.

"Akane!" Luna tried shaking her.

*WHAM!* Luna flew across the room and into the wall.

"Ow…" The cat flopped down.

All of this and Akane still slept.

'What's WITH this girl?' Luna rubbed her head in annoyance… and pain.

"*zzz* My pony… it's mine… no… touchy…" Akane sleep talked.

Luna rolled her eyes and in doing so, saw a water bottle on the ground.

After thinking it over for five minutes, she sighed and picked it up… somehow.

*TWAP* Luna used water bottle to the face.

"OW!" Akane woke up suddenly.

It's super effective!

"Finally, you're awake…" Luna jumped onto the bed. "Now, I'm-"

Akane interrupted the cat by grabbing her by the scruff of her neck.

"Why did you throw that water bottle at me?" Akane narrowed her eyes.

"Wait, why are you so calm about me speaking?" Luna questioned.

"…" Akane blinked. "Um… this isn't a dream, is it?"

Luna shook her head.

"AHHHHhh! OK, I'm good…" the blue-haired girl half screamed. "Wait… you can talk… and you're a cat… that means magic… magic cat… I'm A MAGIC GIRL!"

Akane enveloped Luna in a bone-crushing hug, giggling madly.

That's when the door opened to reveal two bed-haired sisters.

"Little sister, it's 3 in the morning…" Michiru groaned, obviously tired.

Ami barely kept her eyes open. "Why can't you let me sleep?"

"Um…" Akane's eyes darted all over. "… No-thing… heh, heh… Sorry."

Both sisters glared at her.

"What? Don't blame me!" Akane yelled. "Luna threw a water bottle at my face!"

Everyone looked at Luna, who was trying just to breathe again.

"Nyan?" Luna spewed pathetically.

Suddenly, Akane shook the kitty.


Luna didn't say anything.

Ami sighed. "Akane, it's scientifically impossible for cats to speak a human language. The amount of stress on the vocal cords in even attempting such a feat is too much. They aren't even shaped the right way. Not to mention their mouth shape wouldn't work…"

Akane rolled her eyes. "Well, yeah… but she's a magic cat! She talked! I know it! Say something, Luna!"

"Nyan?" Luna answered.

Akane snapped. "Oh, you JERK! I WILL MAKE YOU TALK!"

The two older Tendos raised their eyebrows as Akane carried Luna into the kitchen.

"Oh no…" Michiru failed to hold back a groan. "Akane, you've tortured enough animals in your lifetime…"

"Well, THIS one is magical!" Akane retorted.


Soon they all gathered around Luna as she was strapped to a wooden board on the kitchen counter.

"Alright Luna, talk!" Akane threatened.

"Nyan…" Luna held firm. 'What the bloody hell is she doing?'

Akane had filled up a squirt gun and aimed it at Luna's tiny cat head.

"Talk," Akane threatened.

Luna kept quiet.

"Little sister, this is ridiculous." Michiru rubbed her eyes. "Let the cat go…"


Ami swayed on her feet, exhausted. "'Kane… magic girl?"

Akane's eye twitched as a tear fell from it. "THAT'S IT! LUNA, TALK!"

Luna's eyes widened but she didn't say a word.

*Splash* Akane squirted Luna.

'AHH! Cold!' Luna shivered, but bit her lip to not say anything.

"TALK!" Akane yelled.

Luna closed her eyes and continued to be silent.

*Splash* Another shot from the squirt gun hit Luna in the face.

Once again, she kept silent.

Michuru sighed. "That's enough, Akane. Let's go to bed…"

"NOO! TALK! TALK, YOU DUMB CAT!" Akane cried.

Her sisters grabbed her arms to drag her away…

"NOO! I WON'T BE CHEATED OUT OF THIS! I'M SPECIAL! I'M SPECIAL!" Tears flowed from Akane's eyes like a true Tendo.

"Quiet, little sister…" Michiru yawned.

"NOO! NOOOOOOO! TALK! TALK! I… I COMMAND YOU! TALK, YOU EVIL MAGIC CAT!" Akane was dragged away, partially because she didn't want to hurt her sisters, and partially because she was emotionally wrecked.

Luna looked away, not able to gaze into Akane's eyes any longer.

'She's mad! Mad, I say!' Luna thought to herself. 'Keeping this a secret will be harder than I thought.'

Eventually, she was released from her bonds and taken by Ami to her room.


Luna snuck back into Akane's room after Ami was asleep, only experiencing a little frustration with the doorknobs.

The black cat got onto Akane's bed where she saw the girl curled up in a fetal position.

"… Akane…" Luna sighed.

"What?" Akane asked softly. "Am I imagining things now? Look, cat, I'm sorry for what I did… I… I guess I was so excited about being a magic girl… Oh, who am I kidding, why would I be a magic girl? You're probably here to make me do something stupid, like help you find some REAL magic girls or be a catgirl… or something else demeaning. I get it."

"Huh?" Luna tilted her head.

"It's just… being a magic girl was something I was looking forward to… But why would I be one? I'm not feminine enough like my sisters," Akane sighed. "Both of them can cook, they sew their own clothes, one is a champion swimmer, the other is already a world-renowned violinist…"

"Akane…" Luna shook her head. "I'm not here for them…"

"But me?" Akane curled up tighter. "I can't cook or sew… I sink like a rock, I can't do anything right, my twin sister is a super genius and the other has a boyfriend—that I hate—who is one of the most popular boys in school."

Luna blinked twice. "You want a boyfriend?"

"Yeah… no… maybe… I don't know, who cares?" Akane sighed. "All I'm good at is martial arts and even then I'm not that good. I know Kuno is holding back, Dad won't teach me what I need, and all I do is beat up stupid boys."

"Look, I'm here because of you, because of what I saw this morning…" Luna started.

"If you want to complain, go ahead, I deserve it." Akane wound up tighter. "I probably even killed your mom or something. That's all I am, an animal killer and someone who beats people up…"

Luna sighed. "I'm going to explain this carefully… but you can't tell anyone. It's why I kept quiet; no one else can know."

Silent tears rolled down Akane's face. "Being an errand girl for a cat is great… the best part is… you can't tell anyone! Yay! Is that sarcastic enough for you? It's not like I'm going to be a magic girl anyway… They're graceful and nice to animals… they don't get mad easy or torture cats. Why not get my twin, Ami? She's a super genius nice girl. Or Michiru? She's been caring for us for ten years and rarely raises her voice. Real Japanese girls… Not someone like me…"

Luna lowered her head. "Akane… this is for you, not your sisters. It's you. When I saw you plow through the boys at school, I saw the mark of the moon on your forehead…"

"Yeah, that happens sometimes when I'm mad," Akane explained with a sigh. "My friends joke about it at school. I mean, honestly… red, moon, with a cloud family and blue hair? How weird is that? But what does that have to do with anything?"

"Everything!" Luna exclaimed. "You're Sailor Moon!"

"Sailing what on the moon?" Akane looked up, confused.

"No, no, no… it's…" Luna sighed. "Hang on a second."

Luna backflipped and out popped into existence a weird golden brooch… thing…

Akane squatted on her bed like a detective and picked it up. "Well, I know for sure that you're magical now…"

Luna nodded. "Just say {Moon Prism Power!} and you'll transform."

"…" Akane looked at her blankly. "Can you repeat that? I'm not the best English speaker…"

Luna sighed. {Moon Prism Power!}

"…" Akane blinked. "Why is it in English, anyway?"

"I don't know. My memory is Swiss cheese at the moment." Luna shrugged.

"Oookaay…" Akane let out her breath. {Moon Prism Power!}

In 1.17 seconds, Akane transformed.

"I feel weird…" Akane look at herself in her mirror.

In the reflection stood Akane in a sailor senshi fuku, the bow in her long hair was 93% larger, and there was a mask on her face.

"Wow… I really am a magic girl…" Akane was stunned, shocked, in disbelief.

Luna smiled as Akane checked herself out. "I'm glad you like it…"

*GLOMP* Luna was soon in Akane's arms.

"Thankyou-thankyou-Luna-thankyou!" Akane blurted.

Luna had trouble breathing. "You're… welcome… *gasp* Please… let… go."

"Hmm? Oops! Sorrysorrysorry!" Akane let Luna go.

"I… *cough* Hak ACCK!" Luna let out a hairball. "*clears throat* Sorry about that… I forgive you… After all, we…"

Akane cut her off. "Butitsmyfault! Itorturedyouanddidn'tbelievethemagicgirlthing! Sorrysorrysorry!"

"Relax… I forgive you…" Luna coughed again, still not moving her body. "We were all sleep deprived."

"If you say so…" Akane looked down and frowned. "Just one thing… WHY IS THE SKIRT SO SHORT?"

"…" Luna blink-blinked. "I don't know. Swiss cheese memory, remember?"

"But it's so short!" Akane tried to pull it down some. "It's stupid! People will see my underwear! Why?"

"Well, um… it's because… it's a magic skirt…?" Luna guessed.

"But people will still see it!" Akane growled.

"Umm… that's why you, um… have… err… you're not wearing underwear right now." Luna sweated.

"WHAT?" Akane checked herself in panic.

"Yeah… you have instead… uh… a leotard of… power!" Luna smiled nervously.

Akane found out that she WAS in a leotard with a pathetic excuse for a skirt. "Still stupid…"

"It is what it is…" Luna sighed.

"I guess…" Akane looked in the mirror once again. "At least no one will recognize me with this mask on."

"True, but you also have disguise magic making it nearly impossible to be recognized," Luna added.

Akane snorted. "Yeah, right. Who's stupid enough to fall for that?"

"It's not supposed to be stupid!" Luna got up on her feet again.

Akane shook her head. "Doesn't matter, got mask. Well, I'm off to go rub this in my sisters' faces, care to join me?"

"What? No! Akane, they can't know!" Luna pleaded.

"Why not?" Akane placed her hands on her hips.

"Because they'll be in danger!" Luna responded.

Akane slumped. "I… but… it… magic girl… How am I going to be better than my sisters if I can't let them know?"

"It's the burden of being a magic girl…" Luna sighed in relief.

Akane sighed and sat on her bed.

Luna curled up in Akane's lap, tired.

Moments passed by. Luna was almost asleep when…

"Wait a second… I'm a magic girl… I can handle anything coming my way! Why should I hide this from my sisters?" Akane got up, taking Luna with her. "Magic Girl Akane will save the day!"

Luna's eyes shot open. "No! No! You can't do that!"

"Yes, I can!" Akane gleefully shouted as she left her room. "I'm Akane… uh…"

"… Sailor Moon…" Luna sweatdropped.

Akane smirked. "I'm Sailor Moon, magical girl extraordinaire! What could possibly go wro- nevermind…" 'Whew… that was close…'

"Don't do this…" Luna warned.

"Too late!" Akane smiled as she opened Ami's door….


Author's notes: Now, this one was crazy… apparently, my bosses came up and wrote this when tuatara asked about Eris, the Sailor Discord, and they answered with admitting that they don't know enough to write it. Things continued and this popped up. "What if Akane was Sailor Moon?" thus a fusion was made. I blame the drawing of Akane and Ami looking alike at Deviantart for a lot of the ideas here. To smash things up better, Akane became the younger twin of Ami and it was decided to have Michiru as the oldest sister all due to hair color. Seriously. Now, I've been told to tell you a few things.

First, yes Akane's characterization is different. It had to in order to make sense. In canon, Akane had an angel and a demon for sisters, neither of them out of the ordinary or extraordinary. Akane wanted to be more like Kasumi because of Dr. Tofu. She got her way most of the time and thought very highly of herself due to beating everyone daily and being as popular as she was. However, if instead of two ordinary sisters, you had a genius twin and a prodigy violinist as sisters; you wouldn't feel so great, would you? This Akane has been overshadowed by awesome her whole life. Of course she will behave differently and feel inadequate. Thus, the "I want to be special" thinking. Ami is a bit different too; she has family that she sees all the time, allowing her to not be as alone and with Akane as her twin, knows how to speak her mind, unafraid of losing a friend. Michiru, with her taking care of everyone responsibilities, isn't as quick to anger and isn't as pessimistic. With these daughters, Soun isn't worried about them doing well, except for getting hurt. With Akane going crazy to be special, he also can take nearly anything calmly… until there's a chance someone can be hurt. He is a bit more responsible and level headed due to it.

Second, everyone from SM moved up in age so that it makes sense. Besides, having them older will make them more responsible… sort of. Michiru is 13 months older than the twins and is in the second year of high school.

Thirdly, Nerima is used to the crazy. Therefore, more genre savvy and will be able to piece together things much better than in other parts of Tokyo. I'm unsure if Naru (It's Molly…) will show up, but everyone else normal at that school won't.

That is all, see you soon, for I am the Text!