The Red Side of a Blue Moon

~Noy Telinú~

Warning: Diet Coke will kill your liver, so blow it up instead!

Caution: flipping tables in anger makes people hate you for some reason. Don't do it all willy nilly.

Notice: that fanfiction wasn't mentioned until now. Weird, isn't it? Unless this is your first chapter for some reason. Some people do that o_O

Reviews: are awesome. Like everything! ^_^ Compucles, yes they are idiots aren't they? Yeah. Going from what I read, Telinú was really wanting for some lesbian action so... That's explains this too. Nah more like run away to live another day and steal lightsabers from the ones you do kill because lightsabers! I, as text, think that it is a wonderful text full of words and stuff. Ranma as moon has been done to death but it was fun. Especially Akane as not tuxedo guy because girl. ^_^ my blesses are busy trying to get stuff out and written so... Yeah. That and one reviewer was super scary with ALL CAPS YELLING! •_• Aceina, starting? Um... This is a Noy Telinú fanfic. There's been stuff since chapter one. What do you call halo and metro is and scooby doo and stuff. Unless you mean more crossoveds then yes. It's starting to do so. Sort of. It's actually a Youma based laser friendly fanfic ripoff causes by the Youma watching too much tv. hero in a cup, chibi things are cuter anyway. So chibi! ^-^The Keeper of Worlds, yes yes he is cuz Akane isn't naming him. Much more important that you can possibly imagine! Here is an update!

You have been warned…


Chapter 9: Ranma, Ranma, Akane

'In the 7 and ½ seconds that ticked by, no one moved. Ranma hoped the girl would just disappear, which made Akane Tendo curious. Ami the supergenius looked on thoughtfully, while those two girls next to the other three girls who were super normal tried to sink into the booth somehow and escape. And Luna, the talking cat, mentor to the Sailor Senshi… slept,' Akane inner-monologued. 'The room was still. Quiet. Seemingly frozen in space and time. The only sounds were the ticking of the clock and an occasional cough. The girl glared at Ranma, standing there… MENACINGLY! The urge to tell Ranma to get out of there was rising for all at the table. For they all knew that this girl was trouble. All in the room stared at the girl… IN THE HOLE IN THE WALL! 3! 2! 1! GO!'

In an instant, Akane took the table… and FLIPPED IT! Sending it and its contents right at Shampoo.

Shampoo knocked it away easily, but when she glanced back at where the table had been, Ranma and Akane were gone.

'What?' Shampoo couldn't believe that Ranma escaped. Again. ^YOU! Girl with the blue hair, where is Ranma?!^

^Who?^ Ami replied, lying her butt off.

Yuka and Sayuri blinked and turned their heads towards Ami.

Shampoo was equally shocked, but was able to get over it in order to ask the question again. ^Ranma, the redheaded girl that was sitting with you!^

^So that's who she is…^ Ami pretended to be shocked. ^She ran off.^

Shampoo frowned. 'Not again…'

The Amazon bounced out.

"So, Sis, when did you learn Chinese?" Akane asked from one booth over, wearing a helmet that she then took off and put away.

"Never. There is no language of Chinese," Ami answered truthfully.

Akane sweatdropped. "You know what I mean…"

Before Ami could answer, Ranma came out from behind the deflected table.

"Can't believe that worked…" Ranma muttered.

Akane puffed out her chest. "Believe in the ME who believes in YOU-"

"Nya…" Luna poked her head out from between Ranma's breasts.

"LUNA!" Akane was instantly across the room and in Luna's face. "How is it in there?"

Ranma was beyond irritated and Luna facepalmed.


Michiru had a hand at her side, fingers around a pen and an angry look on her face.

Haruka noticed immediately. "Easy, girl."

Michiru shook her head. "Can I stay with you tonight? Something very, very bad is going to happen. I know it. The seas roughened up significantly when she walked in."

"The purple-haired bombshell?" Haruka raised an eyebrow. "Damn… Too bad. But if it is how you say, shouldn't you be with your sisters?"

"On the one hand I should. It's my duty." Michiru looked guilty. "On the other hand, I've had enough of cleaning up these messes. Besides, my sisters are capable of handling this."

Haruka nodded. "I see. I guess I will get that thing tonight."

"If by 'thing' you mean in bed, then yes." Michiru smiled.

Haruka smirked.

"On one condition."

Haruka frowned. "I've got a bad feeling about this."


"Soooo… Who was she?" Akane asked Ranma as the group walked home.

Yuka and Sayuri watched Ranma carefully for an answer. Which was hard to come by because Ranma was too busy glaring and Luna to respond.

Akane waved a hand between the two of them. "Hey, Ranma. Who was that girl?"

"Shampoo," Ranma answered simply, still glaring at Luna.

Luna wasn't helping in the situation, as she was glaring right back.

"Oh, for Faust's sake!" Akane picked up Luna and gave her to Ami, who was on the other side of Akane and away from Ranma. "Shampoo? It's an odd name, that's for sure. Might be butchered 'cause she's Chinese. So who is she? An ex-girlfriend? A long-lost sister? Some crazy yandere who wants to murder you? An alien? An escaped android who wants to kill for no reason? A girl from the future? Come on, tell me!"

Ranma looked away. "She… wants to kill me. It's all Pop's fault."

"Typical." Akane sweatdropped. "Anyway, Sis, what did she say?"

"Just that she was looking for Ranma," Ami answered with a shrug.

Yuka glanced at Sayuri and smirked.

"No. I'm not doing it." Sayuri crossed her arms.

"Spoilsport." Yuka frowned. "Anyway… I have a feeling she will be staying around for a while."

Ranma groaned.

Akane raised an eyebrow. "Really? What makes you say that? The hair?"

Yuka nodded. "Mmmmhmmm. Seriously, lavender? Definately unusual."

"I thought it was purple. Or blueish sometimes," Ranma mumbled.

Yuka rolled her eyes. "Who cares?! Anyway, she's sticking around. She's determined and unusual. And she's trying to kill Ranma, so…"

"But only when I look like a girl," Ranma clarified.

Everyone else stared at her.

"…" Ranma blinked. "What?"

Yuka spoke first. "Is… she in love with you as a guy?"

"NO!" Ranma frowned. "She hasn't seen me much as myself. I've been hiding that way."

Yuka gained a huge smile that was impossible for most artforms.

"Well…" Akane shook herself to focus. "Let's be not stupid and get hot water. It'll suck if we meet her on the way home."

Ranma facepalmed. 'Stupid! Stupid!'

Yuka put a hand in front of her mouth to stifle the impending laughter. "Oh, this will be fun…."

One hot water application later…

"You know, Akane… you've never shown us your collection," Yuka noted aloud.

Sayuri agreed. "Yeah, knowing you, it has to be huge!"

"No," Ami spoke up, silencing the others.

"Aww… Why not?" Yuka frowned in an exaggerated manner.

"Because you'll never leave," Ami answered truthfully.

Yuka and Sayuri glanced at each other and nodded reluctantly.

"Come on, Sis! If you're there I'm sure you can get them to go home eventually…" Akane said, albeit unsure of that statement's truthiness.

Sayuri grew uneasy. "Now I'm really curious!"

"Please, Belle-chan! Pwease!" Yuka tried to look as cute and pathetic as possible.

Sayuri joined in soon after.

Ami sweatdropped.

Luna also sweatdropped. 'What is with girls in this time?'

Ranma, who wasn't paying much attention (it was girl talk, after all), looked up and saw the Tendo home. 'Finally. I'm home free…'

"Maybe another time," Akane reassured as she opened the door to her home. "Hi! Anyone home? 'Cause we are!"

"Nihao!" Shampoo responded from the table. ^I am sorry to intrude, but… YOU!^

Ranma's eye twitched.

Akane groaned.

Ami frowned.

Luna shivered.

Sayuri and Yuka took a step back and pulled out popcorn.

Genma, who was a panda, held up a sign. [She followed me home!] Flip. [It's not my fault!]

Shampoo jumped up, weapon in hand.


Ranma flinched, forgetting for a second that he wasn't female at the moment and thus invisible to Shampoo.

Akane, however, smirked a confident smirk that her friends knew all too well. "Bring it on!"

Just as Ranma realized that Akane was the target and about to be hit, the secret Sailor Senshi fell backwards and avoided the strike.

But it was planned. For Akane landed on her hands and used them to power a kick right at Shampoo's head.


Shampoo flipped backwards and rolled awkwardly across the floor. She got back to her feet quickly and rubbed her jaw.

'That hurt!' Shampoo stated obviously in her head. 'She will pay!'

Shampoo narrowed her eyes and charged again right at Akane.

Ranma's protective instincts triggered but were overridden by a couple of arms holding him back. He looked at the owner of the arms to find Ami grabbing him.

"Don't interfere," Ami ordered.

"But-" Ranma was cut off.

"She's enjoying this. And you can tell, can't you, that she can handle herself?" Ami told Ranma. Not asked him.

Ranma was reluctant to admit it. 'Akane can handle this. For now. But the problem is she won't stop! Unless we… No… I won't. I can't…'

Meanwhile, Akane jumped over a strike from Shampoo and kicked her in the back, smashing her through the front door.

"Whoops." Akane cringed.

"Hey!" Yuka complained, some of her popcorn spilt on the floor. "Watch where you kick people!"

Sayuri was smarter and ran to where the two fathers were just watching. One with nervous crying, the other with mild interest.

Shampoo was mad now. Like, really mad. Eyes turning into fire with an aura of super-angry mad.

Yuka took one look at Shampoo and immediately hid behind Sayuri.

^DIE!^ Shampoo was as humiliated as she'd ever been, except that one time with Ranma. And even that could be concidered a fluke since it was one kick and she was tired.

This time, Shampoo was being beaten.

Ranma raised an eyebrow at the situation. Shampoo was letting her rage get the better of her and Akane was calmly kicking her straight to Sunday. But that changed drastically as his head started pounding.

'Not again!' Ranma seethed in pain as the headache throbbed.

Shampoo was serious now. So serious that she pulled out her sword.

Akane saw it and her eyes went wide. 'Uh oh.'


The sword with its owner flew through the air, passing right past Akane, missing her by millimeters as the super-fast Shampoo went roaring by.

Ranma was on the floor, unable to take the pain, biting his tounge so as not to cry out.

Shampoo was too pissed to be impressed with Akane's dodging skills.

With the stakes higher now and Ranma incapitated, Ami's mind raced. 'Got to think of a way out of this. But how?'

Shampoo slashed at Akane, who barely dodged the fast strikes.

"Hey, that's not fair!" Akane complained. "Give me a sword too!"

Luna was watching in peril. 'What to do? What to do?! I could attack her… But I might die. It's a small price to pay to keep a Senshi safe and alive, but would it be enough?!'

However, Luna didn't need to act because Ami thought of a solution. ^Shampoo? Stop!^

Shampoo was startled hy hearing her name being called out in her own language here in Japan and immediately turned her head towrds Ami.

That was plently of time for Akane to smack Shampoo on the back of the head, knocking her out cold.

"Whew. That was close." Akane brushed herself off. "She almost ruined my clothes!"

Luna sweatdropped.

"Not what I was going for, but good enough." Ami shrugged. "Now what?"

"We have to get rid of her!" Ranma shouted from the floor, slowly getting back to his feet. "The problem isn't beating her… It's that she chases down whoever defeats her and won't stop until they're DEAD!"

"…" Akane blinked. "So?"

Ranma facepalmed. "Are you ready to fight her? All the time? Even when you're trying to SLEEP!?"

Akane smirked. "I fight in my sleep. No big deal. Good workout if you think about it."

Soun immediately ran over and glomped Akane, crying into her shoulder. "Whaaa! I thought you were going to DIE!"

Akane sighed. "Honestly…"

Ami walked over to Shampoo and felt her forehead. "I suppose we could have her deported…"

"Aww…" Akane whined.

Ranma stared at Akane as if she grew a second head. 'You're crazy…'

"Can I at least keep her hair?" Akane grabbed Shampoo's hair and smelled it. "It's SO FLUFFY!"

Ranma had enough and went to bed, rubbing his head as he left the room.

Luna followed him closely, keeping ean eye out for any proof of evil.

Yuka and Sayuri walked up to Akane.

"Uh, we can do that tour another time," Yuka said with a bow. "Bye, Tendos! Thanks for having us!"

Sayuri bowed as well and the pair went on their way.

[Pathetic excuse for a son!] Genma's sign read.

Ami glared at him.

Akane scratched her head. "Now… Where are the scissors?"

She grabbed Shampoo by the hair and dragged her to the kitchen, the uncoscious girl's body sliding limply across the floor.

Ami frowned and followed them into the kitchen.


"It's going to be messy, isn't it?" Sayuri asked as she and her best friend in the world walked home.

Yuka nodded. "And I'm not sticking around when it blows up in everyone's faces."

Sayuri frowned. "That bad, huh?"

"Trust me. My common sense is tingling." Yuka shivered.

Sayuri looked back towards the Tendo home. "Should we be worried?"

"Yes!" Yuka nearly shouted. "That's why we're going home and sleeping this out."

Sayuri gulped. "Worse than that time when Akane wanted to be a pirate and got that ship?"

Yuka shivered harder. "Trying to save a drowning girl in jellyfish-infested waters a kilometer out to sea? I doubt anything can beat that -"


Sayuri covered Yuka's mouth. "DON'T SAY THAT! It can always be worse! Remember? ALWAYS!"

Yuka's eye twitched. 'Oh, f-'


Ranma slowed his breathing as he lay on his futon, eyes closed and hands rubbing his head. 'It's decreasing. Thankfully… Should be low enough to stop hurting soon, but sleep sounds good right now. As long as that… thing… stays away.'

Just as Ranma was about to doze off, Luna snuck into the room as quiet as the cat that she wasn't. Technically.

'So familiar… yet I can't put a name on it. A general?' Luna soured at the thought. 'They betrayed the Millennium once… Although I suppose it was really a betrayal of the Earth Prince. Whatever. I just have this bad feeling about him and I need to convey that to my ward. But how?'

Ranma's nostrils flared in anger and hebolted upright. "You…! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

Luna, surprised, jumped up and dashed out of the room.

"Stupid Mao. Stupid alien creature…" Ranma mumbled and lay back down. 'Huh. I don't even know what that word means. Or why that thing angers me so kuch. If it is a result of brain damage by Pops again… You know, I feel hungry for some panda.'

Smiling evilly, Ranma ignored the slowly dulling pain and crept down the stairs for some R and R.


"Scissors… Scissors, scissors, scissors…" Akane mumbled the word on repeat to herself as she searched the kitchen drawers, dragging Shampoo along by the hair, her head hitting a few walls on the way.

Ranma quietly ran down the stairs, wicked smirk on his face.

"D'oh!" Akane facepalmed as she finally found them.

The scissors were right on the counter near the entrance to the kitchen, a place Akane skipped over in her initial search.

With glee, she dragged Shampoo over, the Amazon's body sliding across the smooth floor.

Just as she was about to reach it, though…

"Hey, Pops!" Ranma yelled in a surprise attack.



The thud made the scissors fall off the counter and clatter onto the floor.

"Honestly…" Akane muttered to herself.

Genma, try as he might, was caught too off gaurd to put up much of a fight at that moment. But he did drench Ranma in water, changing him to a her. However, that just pissed Ranma off and she hit him harder, causing Genma to bounce around the yard like a rubber ball.

"Better not break the shed…" Akane shook her head in annoyance, yet the smile on her face showed that her mood wasn't spoiled.

It was because she was in such a good mood that she didn't notice Shampoo stirring.

Akane did a few practice cuts in the air in front of her face to make sure the scissors would cut well. "It's long enough to use for Kagami… That would be a good one!"

Akane turned around and pulled Shampoo's hair up only to see the Amazon awake. And mad.

'Aw, come on!' Akane frowned. 'Couldn't she wait for revenge until AFTER I made a wig out of her hair?'

Shampoo slapped Akane's hand off of her hair and moved forward quickly.

Akane was unprepared for what was about to occur and thus tried to brace herself.


Akane blinked. 'A kiss? On the cheek? Well, it's not cheating… And she looks like she's blushing… But I'm engaged. Then again… Maybe this will convince Ranma to get serious…'

'Now another girl I have to kill. Oh, ancesters, what have I done to dishonor you?!' Shampoo blushed in embarrassment.

The embarrassment was not of the kiss but of losing. Again. To a girl. An outsider girl. Again. And while rested and ready this time.

"Nice…" Akane bobbed her head in appreciation. "Now let me show you how to really do it."

Shampoo was in complete shock when Akane grabbed the back of her head, wrapped her arm around her back and kissed her. Right on the lips.

Akane dipped Shampoo down like they were in a movie and tried to be as professional as she knew how.


Now, the Amazons didn't forbid lesbianism, but Shampoo was always too focused on her training to be in a romantic relationship of any type. She kissed a few people, sure, but those were either because of laws, ploys to get free stuff or just to put others off gaurd. She was never the recipient of any kisses. Some, mostly Mousse, may have tried, but Shampoo was always too disgusted to consider it.

Now she was in shock.

So much so that when Akane stood her upright again, she was frozen as a statue.

"Now that's a kiss worth the audience's time," Akane said with a smile. "Hope I don't give anyone the wrong idea, though… It was fanservice! FANSERVICE!"

Akane waved her arms wildly and became chibified.

Ami walked in and raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing?"

Akane became normal again. "Oh, just pretending I'm on an anime show. One with no fourth wall… Hey, Sis, are you sure we aren't on TV somewhere?"

"Not in this universe," Ami deadpanned and glanced at Shampoo. "What happened to her?"

Akane blinked. "Oh, right. Shampoo is just stunned, that's all. Poor girl…"

Shampoo shook her head to try in vain to get rid of the memory of what had just occurred.

In a flash, she fled. She bravely ran away, away.

Akane sighed. 'Am I a bad kisser?' she wondered.


Shampoo sat on a nearby building, deep in thought. 'From bad to worse. Great-grandmother would kill me for just the sheer humiliation I cost the tribe! Being beaten by another girl? Inconceivable! I am the village champion! I was fully rested, I attacked first! Are the Amazons really not as extraordinary as we were in the past?'

Shampoo shook her head, disbelief clear on her face. 'No, it's my fault. I was too cocky. But then she kissed me! SHE kissed ME! And it was passionate! It's obvious now that I know less of outsider culture than I thought. Am… Am I weak? No, impossible! Amazons are strong. I WON that tournament. I'm the best! There must be some other explanation…'

Shampoo grabbed her head, pressing her palms against her temples as she longed for an answer.

'If only I could ask Great-grandmother… Wait… Great-grandmother is even better than I… Obviously, she is my elder. An elderly elder at that. Not to mention my teacher in combat. The great-granddaughter of the great Cologne shouldn't be bested twice by mere outsiders. Was… No, she wouldn't.' Shampoo felt a shadow of fear drape over her. 'No! She wouldn't hold me back! Why would she? But… she hasn't taught me many Amazonian secrets. Almost none of the secret techniques. Why? It… It can't be what happened to Mother. Can it? Being so strong that a trap had to be set so she would marry? Am I…? Is it…? Am I being held back so I could have a chance of finding a strong man? Is that it? Is it?!'

Shampoo brought her hands down to her face and stared at them as if they knew the answer.

Suddenly lightning struck and a rainstorm poured down upon the area.

'Was this all a ruse? A plan to lead me out here to find a strong man? Why else would Ranma run? She beat me once, so why not fight me again like a warrior? I thought she was just a coward who had a lucky shot. But what if it was the plan all along? Why else would she be stupid enough to eat MY feast? The guide was there. Surely he would have told her.' Shampoo shook violently as she tried to understand, rain drops pouring over her. 'But why? Why now? Is it out of desperation? Many have produced heirs when they were much older than I. Even in my own lineage. Maybe… Mousse? Was it a way to get Mousse to leave me alone? Was this Great-grandmother's plan?! FOOL! As if my marriage would stop him! Mousse would… He would try to kill my beloved husband! There's no way Great-grandmother doesn't know that. I… No… I refuse to awknowledge it!'

Shampoo cried, shaking her head, unable to believe the thoughts she had in the pouring rain.

Trying to run away from her thoughts she opened her eyes to see a red flash dart around a yard.

^Ranma!^ Shampoo snarled the name. 'I WILL KILL!'

Enraged, Shampoo leapt down into the Tendo yard.


"Oh, it's getting worse." Michiru bit her lip. "'Ruka, I need a bigger distraction…"

"Diameter or length?" Haruka smirked.

Michiru smiled despite her mood. "Fingers would suffice."

"They're not as nimble as yours, but sure," Haruka said with a wink. "Maybe you can distract yourself by helping me help you…"

"You only need to ask…" Michiru licked her lips.

Walking down the hallway, Tatewaki Kuno scowled at the sounds and moans coming from his sister's bedroom but didn't dare complain about it. For even Kuno could learn not to do something so stupid again and again. He wasn't completely insane, after all.

'Such impurity. Where have I gone wrong?!' Kuno cried, shaking his fist skyward. 'My own sister… Such shame to the Kuno clan must never be known!'

The moans grew louder.

Kuno shook his head. 'They really must soundproof that room.'


"I feel better now. Do you feel better now?" Ranma asked mockingly her father lying underneath her foot.

Genma didn't answer, mostly due to being unconscious.

Ranma smilled evilly but paused and quickly turned her head to the side. "What are you looking at, Mauan?"

Luna glared at Ranma. 'I knew it!'

Ranma growled. "Hey don't glare at me, evil little… thing. You're the liar in this situation, taking a form of an evil creature…"

Due to their glaring match neither noticed an Amazon quickly approach.

Shampoo was being sneaky this time and thus didn't give out a yell when she struck.

A strike that didn't hit its mark as Ranma stepped forward towards Luna. "Talk, dammit! I know-"


Ranma blinked and turned around to see Shampoo with a mace slamming down on Genma's stomach.

'ARRGGG! Missed!' Shampoo felt like swearing.

Ranma's eyes widened and she turned and ran for her life.

^Hey! Come back here and fight me like a warrior, you poor excuse for a woman!^ Shampoo insulted as she gave chase.

Luna watched them run around the yard before disappearing over a wall. 'I should tell Akane… But this serves him right.'

Akane walked into the yard, slumping. "Hey, Luna, listen… Am I a bad kisser?"

Luna, despite knowing better, was shocked. "What?! I… How would I know?!"

"Well, I could kiss you as a test. Sure, I prefer humans, but a cat is fine too." Akane shrugged.

Luna sweatdropped. "No, I'm good."

Akane sighed. "Thought so. I'll be watching TV…"

With that, Akane slowly lumbered over to the shed in the corner of the yard and went inside it.

Luna glanced around and, seeing no one but Genma on the grass, soon followed Akane.

It took a while for her to open the door, but when she did she smiled and opened it to reveal…

A bunch of gardening supplies. And no Akane.

Luna's eyes widened. 'What?! Am I… Huh?'

She entered the shed and looked around. 'Is this an illusion? Some type of magical cloaking?'

Luna touched the tools and other supplies, confirming that they were indeed real.

'Akane!' Luna was nearly freaking out now.

She felt the floor for a trap door and found nothing. Gasping, Luna ran back out into the yard. The door then closed again behind her.


'I thought she was knocked out!' Ranma panicked as she ran away from Shampoo.

Shampoo, for her part, was keeping up, determination burning on her face.

The rain didn't bother either of the two, although it meant that Ranma couldn't simply slip away with a change of sex.

'What happened? Did she… Akane! Did she kill her?! Oh no…' Ranma skidded to a stop and turned around to face Shampoo. "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH AKANE?!"

Shampoo was surprised that Ranma stopped but that was good for her. ^I have you now! I shall finally regain. My. HONOR!^

Shampoo charged, mace first, about to smash Ranma's face in.

Ranma stood there. Menacingly.

A tiny part of Shampoo's brain told her to get out of there but she didn't listen.

Shampoo brought her weapon downfor a powerful strike.

"ACKKK!" Shampoo had the wind knocked out of her as Ranma moved to the side, bringing her arm up and clotheslining Shampoo.

*Clank clank clankclank*

Shampoo's weapons landed on the concrete sidewalk.

The Amazon was in midair, most of her body still moving forward and her throat still pressing against Ranma's arm.

What seemed like an eternity later, Shampoo fell to the ground with a thud.

Ranma didn't waste any time to allow Shampoo to regain her breath, stomping on the girl's arms. "What did you do to Akane?!"

Shampoo's pride wouldn't allow her to scream in pain. ^I cannot understand your primitive language, you barbaric Japanese scum!^

Ranma glared at Shampoo. "… I completely forgot that I have no idea what you're saying."

^Stop glaring and kill me already, you honor-ruining moose!^ Shampoo tried not to cry but instead cried a lot.

Ranma sighed. 'I have no time for this.'

With a quick kick, Ranma knocked Shampoo's head agaisnt the ground and sent her back into unconsciousness.


Luna was in a panic, frantically trying to open Ami's door. "Ami!" she cried.

But the fake cat's screams went unanswered.

Luna felt fear in her heart. In desperation she clawed at the door.

Tears started flowing, a sense of helplessness consuming Luna…

"What are you doing?" Ami asked from behind Luna, a book under her arm.

Luna gasped and jumped around. "Ami! Where… No time… Your sister, she! She's gone missing!"

Ami raised an eyebrow. "Missing?"

Luna nodded. "Yes! She said she was going to watch the television, but when I went to follow her she had disappeared."

Ami smiled and held back a giggle. "No need to worry. She really is just watching TV…"

"But the shed! There was nothing-" Luna was cut off.

"Of course it looks like that. I designed it, after all. Believe me, she is fine." Ami bent down and petted Luna on the head.

Luna sighed in relief and collapsed onto the floor, enjoying the attention quite a bit.

"Come on, let's get you off the floor," Ami said and picked Luna up, the fake cat snuggling in her arms.

Suddenly a sonic boom rocked the house.


Ranma ran back to the Tendo dojo as fast as she could, bouncing and slipping on the ground as she did so. She picked up speed and by the time the home was in sight she was going faster than she'd ever gone before. A bit too fast, because when she tried to stop the slippery ground caused her to to trip and pushed her faster as she slid past the house on her stomach like a water slide.


Ranma broke the sound barrier right outside the house, not that she knew.

When she finally stopped, Ranma immediately got up and hurried back to the Tendo home. She was greatly worried.

In no time she was running across and through the house, spraying water everywhere as she looked for Akane.

"What was that?" Luna asked, turning towards Ami.

"A sonic boom," Ami answered.

Immediately afterward Ranma was right in front of them. "What did Shampoo do to Akane?!"

Ami blinked. "Nothing? She left once she was awake…"

"Are you sure?!" Ranma obviously looked worried. "She attacked me earlier…"

"I am pretty sure… Akane is relaxing right now." Ami wiped some water off her face. "It is raining outside, I presume…?"

Ranma nodded and looked down at herself. "Yeah, I'll clean up..."

Ranma left, glaring at Luna as she went.

Luna shivered. "Ami, that glare… I remember that glare. A long, long time ago. I don't remember where. Just that glare."

Ami frowned and opened her door. "Come, tell me everything you know about our enemies."

Luna nodded and followed.


"Feeling good now?" Haruka smiled, hair disheveled.

Michiru smiled back. "Yes. Yes, I do. The seas are calm too, so that is a relief."

Haruka smiled wider. "Good. Ready for round two?"

Haruka lowered her face right above her lover's.

"Whoever finishes first loses?" Michiru suggested seductively.

"Losing is a subjective term…" Haruka said with a winke.

So they went at it again, images of the event provided by the internet as there are plenty of hentai dojins that would satisfy far more than truth and justice and hopes and dreams.


Shampoo stared at the sky, unwilling to move. The rain pored down on her face, some getting into her eyes. Yet she did not move whatsoever.

'She didn't kill me. My prey, beating me again, didn't kill me. The crane let the tigress live again. Crane… Tigress… She uses both. So does that other girl. As well as mantis and monkey and everything, really. How unusual.' Shampoo pondered the oddity.

Her pondering was interrupted when the rain suddenly ceased hitting her face.

"Such a fine beauty, lying on the wet ground like some plain girl. Art thou a gift from the heavens to me, Tatewaki Kuno?" Kuno asked as he stood above her with an umbrella, boasting yet again.

Shampoo turned her eyes to Kuno with curiosity. 'What is he doing? And saying, for that matter. He's another odd one, but that's standard for this backward place.'

In Shampoo's mind Kuno was saying, "Blah blah blah, look at me, look at me! Me me me all the way me, you're pretty but I'm talking about me for some reason. Me me me all the way home, I'll kiss your hand for some me reason of me."

Shampoo looked at Kuno in utter confusion. ^I do not speak your language, you pathetic male! But if you can understand me at all, kill me now!^

Kuno stepped back. "*Gasp*! A foreigner? In MY glorious nation?!"

Shampoo had no idea what Kuno was saying but she knew disgust when she saw it. ^HOW DARE YOU THINK I AM DISGUSTING?!^

In a flash, Shampoo jumped up and kicked Kuno right in the face. He went flying right into the sky, going up and up until he couldn't be seen anymore.


Shampoo sighed and picked up her weapons before walking down the street, shoulders slumped as she went.

'I am still strong. Maybe… Maybe those two are… But that is a myth. A legend. Probably. No one could want to marry that… It's untrue. Impossible! But my feelings. I know that to be true. Great-grandmother must know.' Shampoo now had a job to do and would be dammed if she didn't do it.


"It doesn't look destroyed," Sayuri commented outside the gates to the Tendo dojo.

"I know. It's so eerie." Yuka was puzzled. "I was sure something bad was about to happen."

"Well, you're not perfect." Sayuri shrugged.

Yuka growled. "You take that back!"

Sayuri stuck out her tounge. "NYEH!"

Yuka grumbled and turned away, huffing. "Well, you're imperfect too."

"S-so?!" Sayuri looked away. "No one is perfect anyway."

Yuka sniffled. "In hentai they are."

Sayuri sighed. "Yeah. Perfect breasts, perfect ass-"

"Sets," Yuka finished.

"Yeah. That," Sayuri lied. "With all those perfect people, who's *really* perfect?"

"No one?" Yuka shrugged. "It's just… I was so sure of it…"

"What if something DID happen? But it just looks like nothing did?" Sayuri pondered aloud.

Yuka turned to Sayuri. "… Abduction."

"Definitely." Sayuri pointed.

"AKANE!" Yuka and Sayuri opened the gate and rushed forward.


Author's notes: Akane is fine she's all fine. Unless you don't believe Ami and think she's evil! D: OH SNAP CRACKLE POP! What will happen to Shampoo? Can Kuno accept lesbians? Will YOU be able to find Sailor Moon hentai?! pssst! google it! Time in next time for the next part of the fanfic that'll be whenever. Till then I am THE TEXT!