The Red Side of a Blue Moon

~Noy Telinú~

Warning: the end (of the world) is near! At least, that's what they WANT you to think! O_o

Caution: controversy about this chapter is very, very likely. Don't say I didn't warn ya.

Fusion: fall… is A GAME. You're welcome.

Reviews: I like responding to them like this... unlike SOME people! Aceina, The what? Um... yeah she CAN fight, but doesn't PREFER to, rather, making love to the ladies. ^_^ Hishin Trueflame, very much. In China. You'd think so wouldn't you? tuatara, yes, obscure reference. Make sure that gets on the TV tropes page. Eric-Brune, Is Haruka lesbian? kazekitsune666 , while Akane isn't any of our favorite characters, she IS crazy in this one. Compucles, yes, um, I don't remember the specifics being like THAT... how much of a bet? Ha! luger 7, is it Tuesday already? hero in a cup, GUESS! Guess! The TEXT Commands YOU! Tri-Emperor of The Twilight, Why, thank you, here's more! Yay!

Thanks: to tuatara for editing. Fukufics gives advice as well…

You have been warned….


Chapter 4: Getting engaged without fright…

It was Sunday at the Tendo home and three sisters were in a dojo… Their dojo…

"So… YAAH!" Akane punched the air. "We agree that since no one died… YAHH! That we didn't lose…"

Michiru frowned as she sat at the edge of the dojo. "There were six people sent to the hospital with a million yen damage and twenty-seven fallen trees."

Akane did a leg sweep against her imaginary opponent. "So? I think it's a draw, then… YAHH! They got their energy, you got one arm and I scared them! Yah!"

"That doesn't mean it's a tie, little sister." Michiru shook her head.

Akane smirked. "Did we see a Youma since? Hmm? They're scared of me! YAHH!"

"No, it just means we haven't found more yet," Michiru corrected. "There has been production loss in the Minato ward with people being found unconscious all over the place. I have a feeling it could be Youma."

Akane hurricane kicked. "Well then, let's go down there and kick some Youma! Ha!"

Michiru thought it over. "Maybe…"

"Hey, Ami, is it done yet?" Akane asked her twin.

"Just about… now." Ami smiled. "That should do it…"

"Ooh… Let me see!" Akane rushed over to where her sister was sitting on the floor.

Ami waited until Michiru walked over to show her sisters. "Here it is… the Mercury Tablet."

In her hand was a touchscreen tablet with the Mercury symbol on the back.

"Ooh…" Akane was wide eyed.

"Full touch screen, voice command, powered by magic with a built-in camera and a processor that can perform analyses over 9,000 times faster than the laptop," Ami explained.

Akane had to struggle not to laugh. "What? 9,000? There's no way that can be right!"

Both of her sisters rolled their eyes.

"Good job, little sister…" Michiru was cut off by Akane.

"Does it play Angry Birds?" The gleeful 16-year-old asked.

"…" Ami blinked. "No…"

"Any other games?" Akane asked quickly.

"No… it's not made for games…" Ami sighed.

"How about playing videos? Music? Anything?" Akane was losing it.

"No," Ami answered, "though it does have Word, Excel and PowerPoint."

Akane rubbed her chin. "Well… not really useless… Does it have Flash?"

Ami nodded. "Yes."

"Good enough for me!" Akane stood triumphantly. "Hey, let's show Luna… I'll get her!"

With that, Akane ran out of the dojo.

Michiru hugged Ami. "Good job."

"Thanks." Ami smiled.

Of course, that's when Soun ran into the room, full of excitement. "Daughters! I have the most wonderful news! Family meeting and… Where's Akane?"

"With Luna," Michiru answered. "What is this good news?"

"I'll explain shortly!" Soun answered excitedly. "Get your sister and meet me at the table! Oh, happy day!"

The sisters looked at each other and shrugged.


"Luna…" Akane stuck her head into her room, a giant grin on her face. "Whatcha doin'?"

Luna, on a giant cushion on the floor, looked up tiredly. "Resting… nearly healed… and trying to remember more about our enemy."

"Well…" Akane came in, still smiling madly. "It'll be easier now since my twin, the supergenius Ami, fixed the laptop by making it a TABLET!"

The cat from the moon smiled. "Good news…"

"Oh! And I haz a new poster!" Akane pulled out a poster. "As you cats would say…"

Luna groaned. "Cats do not speak that way- What is THAT?"

The poster that Akane had was a black cat fixing a TV with a caption of [Don't worryz. TVRepair kitty iz here.]

"It's a cat… FIXING A TV!" Akane had her eyes shut so hard that they turned into greater-than and less-than signs as she became super deformed for a second. "Can you fix a TV?"

Luna sweatdropped, facepalmed, AND her eye twitched.

Akane didn't notice. "I'll put it here right above you."

Just as Akane finished and Luna was going to bang her head, the door opened to reveal Ami.

"Hey, 'Kane, Father has called a meeting… Seems important." Ami looked down at Luna. "How are you doing?"

Akane groaned. "Fine, fine, I'll go…"

Luna shrugged. "I can walk downstairs…"

"NO!" Akane picked up her mooncat advisor. "I won't let you hurt yourself now!"

Luna sighed in Akane's arms. "Fine, fine… But let Ami carry me… please?"

Akane frowned. "Sorry, Luna…" she said with a sigh.

With that Akane left her room, eyes downcast.

Luna, now in Ami's arms, looked up to the short-haired girl. "She has so much enthusiasm…"

Ami sighed. "She thinks she figured it out… Let's go."

And then the room was empty.


"What?" Akane placed her hands to her cheeks. "How could you?"

"…" Soun raised an eyebrow. "I… didn't say anything yet…"

"Oh…" Akane lowered her hands. "It just felt like the right thing to say. These meetings don't ever have good news."

Her sisters reluctantly nodded in agreement while Luna stared in confusion.

Soun whined. "But it IS good news! Today I got a postcard saying that my training buddy Saotome and his son Ranma are coming here! But more importantly, one of you is going to marry Ranma!"

"What?" Ami and Michiru asked disbelievingly in unison.

Akane rolled her eyes and crossed her arms smugly. "Told ya."

Michiru struggled to speak her mind. "Father… I cannot take part in this…"

Soun laughed. "But of course you can. This is family honor. Saotome and I engaged you before you were born."

Ami spoke up. "Father, he's only one person. It would be better if Akane or I took this burden."

Michiru's eyes widened in shock.

Soun tapped his lips. "Well, we weren't specific on whom… I will allow this."

Michiru let out a sigh of relief. {Thank you, little sister…}

{You're welcome.} Ami replied. {I wonder why Akane hasn't said anything.}

Both sisters look over to Akane.

Their sister was staring at Luna, mouth open and eyes wide.

Soun was too busy congratulating himself to notice.

Luna, however, did and was freaking out.

"Akane, you're scaring me…" Luna spoke nervously.

Suddenly, Akane's open mouth started to slowly turn into a wide grin.

Ami waved a hand in front of her twin's face. "Akane?"

"I'm the princess…" Akane said in shock.

Luna sighed. "No, I'm pretty sure that…"

Akane interrupted her in a loud voice. "IMMA MOON PRINCESS!"

"Akane…" Ami was interrupted.

"Don't you see?" Akane was ecstatic. "It's the only way this makes sense!"

Soun came out of his world and stared. "Huh?"

"I have a brooch, you two have pens, I'm Sailor Moon, and the MOON princess is from the MOON! Why SHOULDN'T they be the same?" Akane was flapping her arms so fast they were a blur. "But what clinched it was THIS!"

Michiru tilted her head. "Akane, what does this agreement have to do with anything?"

"There are at least ten Senshi, Mercury and Neptune are my sisters, what do we all have in common? WATER!" Akane's eyes were greater-than and less-than signs again. "Wait… that part isn't… Whatever. But getting ENGAGED! Why would a magic girl get married to someone random? This guy would be a magic BOY! The only planet that makes sense is EARTH! It's compatible with MOON! EARTH'S MOON! Sure, there are other moons, which means there might be like 117 Senshi, but then why am I called Sailor MOON? Huh? HUH? It just makes sense. Which means this guy is a prince! And he has to have a jerkass façade to keep other, non-worthy girls away!"

Everyone else was silent, weather through shock or something else.

A moment passed. Then two.

Finally, Luna spoke up. "What?"

Akane's shoulders slumped. "Oh, come ON!"

Soun blinked. "Does this mean you accept the engagement?"

"Huh? Yeah, sure." Akane was feeling deflated.

Ami patted her twin on the back. "I am very proud of you, 'Kane."

Soun cried twin rivers of tears. "The schools shall be joined!"

That's when yelling was heard right outside the door.

"Must be Ranma." Michiru hugged Akane. "Thank you, little sister. Now go meet your fiancé."

Soun was already down the hall, arms like noodles.

Akane followed and thought to herself. 'OK, you have to be very, very careful, Akane. This guy will pretend to be a jerk but he's not… This might involve perverted stuff too, so listen to him and believe in anything he says, right? Got it? Good. Thank you, brain! Now look presentable and- Why is Dad running this way?'

Charging towards Akane was a giant panda carrying a tiny redhead.

"Stop it!" the redhead spoke angrily. "You're scaring them spitless!"

Akane blinked and started waving her arms up and down like a chibi character. "Hey! Bad panda! You're a terrible animal advisor running through someone's home like this!"

This got the panda to stop and look at Akane in confusion. Then it put the redhead down off its shoulders.

Akane rolled her eyes. "Honestly. Hi there, I'm Akane. Are you Ranma?"

The redhead nodded. "I'm Ranma Saotome… Sorry about this…"

Soun, who was hiding under the table with a certain mooncat, popped his head up. "At last you came!"

Ranma's eyes went wide as Soun hugged the redhead.

After a second, though, the father of three let go, face in shock.

'Oh, great… What does he mean by THAT?' Akane resisted rolling her eyes. 'I wonder what to say to him. What kind of girl does the best? Wow, he's shorter than me… Pigtails are nice… Wonder why…'

Akane's eyes widened as her father stuttered.

Ami, who was reading a book, flipped a page and deadpanned an answer. "He's a girl."

'Damn it!' Akane thought. 'I just thought he was bishonen! A pretty boy with a Napoleon complex! Wait… maybe this is a gender-bender martial arts magic girl mix thing…'

Soun started crying.

Michiru was analyzing Ranma.

And the panda… was gone!

Akane smiled and held out her hand. "Wanna be friends?"

Ranma blinked, nodded and took Akane's hand…

"Whoa!" Ranma exclaimed.

… Only for Akane to pick up the smaller girl in a bear hug and lift her off the ground, making Ranma's feet dangle.

"Nice to meet you!" Akane smiled. "Now, let me show you around… starting with the dojo."

Despite what happened, Ranma couldn't help but smile as well.


As Akane showed off the dojo, her mind was busy. 'Maybe it's just a yuri magic girl martial arts mash? The ones that have those bad endings…? HELL NO! If this ends up being a yuri, it'll be happy, damn it! I won't choose some boy over this girl who will end up trying to be more than friends! This will be a happy one that has baby girls ever after with help of magic! IF it is a yuri… It could still be a gender bender… Wow, this is hard…'

"Trophies?" Ranma's voice broke Akane's concentration.

"Hmm?" Akane turned towards where Ranma was looking. "Yeah, they're mine. I'm pretty good… *sigh* Still don't think I'm good enough, though. What about you? Are you a martial artist?"

Ranma nodded. "Yes. Yes, I am."

Akane had to hold back giggles. "Want to spar? Just lightly? In something simple like kempo?"

Ranma shrugged. "Sure."

"Excellent." Akane touched her fingertips together… then her clothes were flung off.

The redhead's eyes widened slightly, but then un-widened slightly as she saw that Akane had a yellow gi on under her clothes.

*THUMP* Akane's clothes crashed onto the floor loudly.

Ranma's eyebrow rose.

"Learned that from Dragon Ball." Akane smirked. "Ready?"

Ranma nodded, hands behind her back.

'Oh, cocky, huh? Must either be really good or a part of the façade,' Akane thought. "Alright, I'll go first… YAAAA!"

The redhead girl moved her head slightly to the left, dodging Akane's punch by less than a millimeter.

Akane continued on her punch until it turned into a kick that would have taken Ranma's head off… if Ranma's head were there at the time.

Akane kept on trying to hit Ranma, who didn't move her feet from their spot on the floor.

That is, until Akane tried to leg sweep Ranma… emphasis on tried.

After dodging in the air numerous times and proving that their laws of physics are different for her, Ranma backflipped so that she was right up against the wall.

'I have you now,' Akane thought triumphantly as she punched forward as hard as she could.

*CRACK* Her fist got stuck in the wooden wall.

'Ah, great… Should have known…' Akane then felt a tap to the back of her head.

She turned around to see Ranma scratching the back of her head, chuckling.

Akane soon joined in until it was full laughter.

"Wow! That was great," Akane admitted. "How long have you been practicing martial arts?"

Ranma shrugged. "All my life."

Akane sniffed her arm. "WHOA, I really worked up a sweat… I think I need a bath… Care to join me?"

Ranma sweated nervously. "I… err…"

'Either she is a gender bender… or extremely nervous about her body… Ain't that the truth…' Akane smiled. "Don't worry, we're both girls…"

Ranma swallowed. "Um… You see… I…"

"Oh, come on, you deserve to have your back washed. You won." Akane patted Ranma on the back.

"No… you don't understand… I…" Ranma gulped.

Akane took the redhead's hand and started walking. "Fine, fine. I'll make it up some other way… but I'll take you to the furo."

Ranma sighed in relief.


Akane was sitting against the door of the bathroom when her twin walked by.

"Do you know who the person speaking to Father is?" Ami pointed over to where Soun was crying silently with a bald man wearing glasses.

Akane blinked, squinted, turned her head sideways, mostly closed her eyes and then answered. "Not sure if it's Ranma's father… or just a random guy."

Ami rubbed her chin. "Doesn't look at all like Ranma…"

"She could be the ugly guys beautiful daughter…" Akane thought it over. "I wonder where the panda is… My guess is somewhere messing around with Luna."

Ami nodded and left, reading a book.

The youngest Tendo tapped her fingers to her lips as she watched the two men in the next room.

But after a few minutes, she grew bored and her head fell against the door.

'What's taking her so long?' Akane thought as she sat. 'It's like she hasn't taken a bath since- Duh! Packs in hands, loose-fitting clothes… They must have traveled far. Maybe even China, considering what she's wearing.'

Content with her conclusions, Akane closed her eyes and smiled.

Of course, that's when the door opened.

*Thump* Akane's head hit the floor.

'That wasn't smart.' Akane shook her head and opened her eyes to see a black-haired boy looking into her eyes.

"Whoops, sorry, didn't notice you there," the boy apologized.

As Akane took in the details, her eyes widened. 'Pigtail, same clothes, same eye color… more or less… face mostly the same… Either Ranma has a twin brother who's nearly identical, or this IS Ranma… Gotta find out!'

Akane smiled and laughed at herself. "No, it was my fault for leaning against the door. Say, do you know where Ranma went?"

The boy looked away. "It's complicated, but… you'll find out eventually…"

Akane cut him off. "Oh no! She ran away!"

The boy waved his arms defensively. "What? NO! I… it!"

'Knew it!' Akane smirked. "We better go find her… Who are you again?"

The boy sighed. "Fine… I'm Ranma Saotome."

"Huh? You share the same name…" Akane faked confusion. "That's odd…"

"Look, it's complicated…" Ranma tried to explain.

But that's when they were interrupted by Soun.

"So, there he is…" the Tendo patriarch observed. "Saotome… I... I have to see…"

"Unfortunately, Tendo…" the other man replied. "Ranma! Come over here, boy."

Ranma grumbled but walked over to them.

Soon, the entire Tendo family was in the room looking at the Saotomes.

"Who are you?" Michiru asked curiously.

"I'm Genma Saotome, and this is my son…" Genma spoke.

"Ranma," Ranma answered.

"But wasn't the Ranma that came here… a girl?" Michiru asked. "And what happened to the panda?"

Akane smirked inwardly as that was asked.

Genma lowered his head. "Sixteen days ago, we were in China at a place called Jusenkyo…"

[One explanation later…] a card with flowers read, covering the fourth wall and narrated by a faux French announcer…

Akane's thoughts EXPLODED. 'I knew it! I knew IT! I KNEW IT!'

Michiru was skeptical. "You don't expect us-"

Akane, frustrated that her sister, the MAGIC GIRL, would say that, casually threw a cup of water at Genma.

The panda sitting next to his son shocked only Michiru.

Ami was reading her book, but paused to give her older sister a look of 'Seriously?'

Soun cried, however. "The legends… They're true…"

Ranma couldn't help but chuckle as Genma grunted and growled. "Boy, that sucks, Pops…"

*Splash* Genma took that opportunity to backhand Ranma into the koi pond.

The redhead came up from the water, irritable. "What'd you do THAT for?"

Michiru had to look away, lip trembling.

Soun cried some more.

While Ami…

*Flip* went the page of Ami's book.

Akane grabbed a kettle that was going to be used for tea and rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Dad. Chill."

The self-proclaimed Moon Princess helped Ranma out of the pond and gave her the kettle.

"Thanks…" Ranma poured water over her head.

As Ranma returned back to being male, Soun stopped crying.

"Well, this problem isn't as bad as we thought after all…" Soun admitted and Genma returned back to human moments later.

Genma crossed his arms. "It could have been worse… but woe is me to have a son like this!"

"Oh, shut it, Pops! It was your idea in the first place!" Ranma countered. "Why the heck did you bring me there, anyway?"

Genma responded by tossing Ranma back into the pond. "Foolish boy! You must be prepared to give your life for the Art!"

Akane facepalmed.

"My life is one thing…" Ranma scooped up a bucket of water. "My MANHOOD is another story!"

*Splash* Genma was now a panda again.

'Great. Just great…' Akane massaged her face.

Soun and Michiru watched as cursed father and son wrestled with each other in the koi pond.

'The seas have gotten rougher the last few hours… Guess this is why…' Michiru swetdropped. 'Why do I have the feeling that it's just going to get worse?'


Eventually, the Saotomes stopped fighting long enough to sit back down inside.

"This isn't as bad as I feared," Soun noted. "Cold water changes you into a girl, hot water changes you back."

"And it's going to take a little while to heat up more," Michiru informed them.

"Then there is no problem at all." Soun smiled. "Ranma, these are my daughters: Michiru, 17, Ami, 16, and Akane, also 16… Choose one to be your bride-"

Michiru cut him off. "Akane already volunteered."

Ami flipped a page in her book. "Indeed she did."

Akane nodded. 'Don't worry, he's a prince. Don't worry, he's a prince. He is also a she, but don't worry, he's a prince…'

Ranma shook her head. "No way, I'm out of here."

Genma growled at the redhead.

"I have to get back to China. This is no time for fiancées." Ranma turned for the exit.

"No, no, no, NO!" Akane protested. "I know that it's not ideal, but I WON'T let you become a runaway fiancé! And being male... you'll get less sympathy than a girl... Although you are one at the moment..."

Ranma narrowed her eyes. "THAT'S why I have to go back to China! I need to cure this curse."

Akane rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. Like you could. Face it, you're a MTF gender bender. The success rate is so abysmal it's a law. The first law of gender bending states that, 'Once a girl has been created, circumstances will conspire to keep her a girl.' You're actually lucky that you can still be a guy as well. Accept it; you'll be part girl for the rest of your life. Could be worse."

Ranma growled. "So what? I should just accept it? Huh? No way! I'm going to find a cure if it kills me!"

Akane slammed her fists on the table, which oddly didn't break. "OBJECTION!" Akane gave Ranma the pointy finger.

Ami facepalmed as Ranma turned around.

Akane narrowed her eyes. "Like hell I'll let you die! I won't allow it!"

Genma and Soun danced for joy with Soun singing a chorus of, "The schools shall be joined!"

Ranma huffed. "Try me."

That's when Ranma walked away.


Of course, that's when Akane smashed her in the head with a table.

Everyone else was in shock as Akane stood there. "What? I warned him. I know I shouldn't have, but holy crack, she's fast. How else is Ranma supposed to stay here? I didn't see anyone else react. Hypocrites."

The blue-haired martial artist returned the table back to its original position and flipped Ranma over.

"Sorry, Ranma, but it was for your own good. Now... um... how do you treat a head injury?" Akane rubbed the back of her head nervously.

Ami sighed and went to help.


Ranma woke up sometime later with a moan.

"Good, you're awake," Ami said as she kneeled over her. "How do you feel?"

Ranma sat up, holding her head. "I've been worse…"

Ami studied Ranma. "I see… I am sorry about my sister's behavior. She is… not… normal, in a way. A bit hyper, if you will."

The redhead stood up. "I noticed. Man, that hurt."

"Fortunately, you appear to be alright." Ami had a finger to her lips. "You have already healed, amazingly. Not even a bump."

Ranma shrugged. "I'm a fast healer."

"Interesting…" Ami turned her attention back to her book.

With that, Ranma left the room and went to go take another bath.

'Stupid engagement,' Ranma thought darkly as she took off her clothes. 'Like I'm ready to marry anyone. I never even had a girlfriend!'

With a mutter under her breath, Ranma opened the door to the inner bath.


Only to meet face to face with a nude Akane.

'…' Ranma inwardly groaned. 'I can't catch a break today!'

Akane had her own internal struggle. 'He-didn't-mean-it-he-didn't-mean-it. Imeanwhocaresifhehasbiggerbo obsthanme? Damnitthisiswhereothergirlsg owrongyoucan'thithim! BREATHE! Think of the positives. Don't-worry-he's-a-prince-don't-freak-out-he's-a-prince-a-magical-gender-bending-prince-but-don't-worry-he's-a-prince.'

After a few moments of high-tension staring, Akane finally broke the silence.

"Um… this is awkward…" Akane sweatdropped. "I'll… go over there and you go in here…"

The two switched places quickly and shut the screen.

Ranma sighed and shook her head.

"Hey, Ranma… I'm sorry for hitting you." Akane played with her hair. "I… I didn't want you to leave."

The redhead got into the furo. "And here I thought you didn't want to be engaged…"

"I don't!" Akane blurted. "It's just… It'll look bad. For me as well as for you. Running out of an engagement is frowned upon and being ditched by your fiancé doesn't reflect well on a girl's femininity."

There was an uncomfortable silence for a while.

"Look, I have no time for this. If you haven't noticed, I have this curse that turns me into a girl." Ranma leaned his head back. "It's already caused me enough problems."

Akane took a deep breath. "You won't get cured. I know it. The universe likes to keep boys who turn into girls as girls. Somehow. Sure, there will probably be a cure dangling like a carrot, but it's just there to torment you. I'm sorry, but that's what happens in these situations."

Ranma grunted. "How do YOU know?"

"I don't," Akane sighed. "But please, listen! You've been on the road A LOT, right?"

"Yeah…" Ranma crossed his arms.

"Well, here you'll have three meals a day and a place to sleep. Doesn't THAT sound good?" Akane asked.

Ranma thought it over. "I guess…"

"Besides, I meant it when I said I would like you to be my friend. Still accept?" Akane tried to keep the hope out of her voice.

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "So… you don't mind me being…"

"Of course not!" Akane interrupted. "I don't care about things like that. Who cares if… if the person you said you'll be friends with just so happens to be a guy that is a girl at times?"

"HEY!" Ranma growled.

"…" Akane blinked. "What?"

"I AM a guy! I won't accept this girl thing," Ranma warned.

"So… like an FTM that actually is male for real?" Akane scratched her head.

"…" Ranma was stumped. "WHAT?"

"Bottom line is you're a guy who just so happens to have a body of a girl sometimes," Akane tried to clarify.

"Yeah…" Ranma sighed.

"Then that's fine by me!" Akane beamed.

Ranma shook his head. "This is just weird."

"Says you!" Akane shouted. "For me, this is Tuesday!"

Ranma had a giant black question mark appear over his head. "But today's Sunday…"

Akane facefaulted. "I know that!"

"Then why did you say it was Tuesday?" Ranma scratched his head. "Whatever. I'm not staying anyway, I need to get cured."

'Damnit! Think, Akane! You need to get him to stay or everyone will laugh at you! Sure, no one knows NOW, but Dad won't be able to keep his mouth shut about something like this. I'll be forced to give up being a girl, not that I'm much of one anyway- GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! You're a magic girl! You can get through this! Think, think! What would Ami do? No, I don't understand that… um… Luna? Hey, where is Luna anyway?' Akane stood up. "Well, my butt is freezing. Goodnight… Hope you change your mind!"

With that, Akane got dressed and left, searching for her cat.

"…" Ranma shook his head. "Crazy girl… It's not Tuesday…"

The pigtailed boy sank deep into the water, enjoying it immensely.


"Luna?" Akane walked through the house. "Luuuunnna? Where are you?"

The blue-haired martial artist walked by her twin, who was reading a book next to the table.

Ami coughed into her hand, trying to get her twin's attention.


Ami sweatdropped as her father started crying.

"No! You can't be sick! No!" Soun cried at the shogi board as he played against Genma, who was currently a panda.

"I'm not sick," Ami tried to explain.

Akane wasn't buying it. "But you were coughing! We need to get you to the doctor NOW!"

"Greef gruff gonk?" Genma scratched his head.

Ami took a deep breath. "'Kane, Luna is in your room. She went there after you used the table as a weapon."

"I HAD TO!" Akane waved her arms frantically.

Soun was hugging Ami. "Please, please stay away from the light… We… we need you… WAHHHH!"

Ami sighed. "I am not sick."

"But!" Akane was interrupted by Ami's glare.

"Luna… is… in… your… room…" Ami stressed.

"…" Akane's eyes were blank. "Ohh…"

With that, the youngest Tendo ran to her room.


"Luna, I need your help!" Akane bit her lip as she entered her room. "How do I keep Ranma from being a runaway fiancé?"

Luna, on her tiny bed, woke up, face filled with dread. "I have no idea…"

Akane frowned. "What sort of advisor cat are you, then?"

"I am not a love guru." Luna shrugged. "I have no advice to give on that subject."

"…" Akane closed her eyes tightly. "This sucks…"

Luna sighed and tried to go back to sleep.

Akane tried to look on the bright side and smiled. "Then could we fix my mask so it works better?"

The mooncat groaned. "What is wrong with your mask, anyway?"

"It sucks! It covers only part of my face and doesn't obscure my identity at all!" Akane complained.

Luna sighed. "It isn't supposed to conceal your identity…"

"Oh, so I'm just supposed to go around, seeing people and letting them see me, so then everyone knows who I am and can kill me in my sleep? How is that a good idea? Huh?" Akane crossed her arms.

"I TOLD you, the magic-" Luna was cut off.

"DOESN'T work!" Akane growled. "Anyone stupid enough to fall for it is stupid enough to not be a threat. Unless you're saying the evil force behind the Youma is moronically stupid, having no way to keep our identities a secret is just dumb!"

"…" Luna gave up. "What do you have in mind?"

Akane tapped her lips. "Hmm… The best would probably cover the whole face and have either darkened eye covers or otherwise make the eyes hard to see… and maybe have a voice synthesizer."

Luna rolled her eyes. "You know, the Senshi are supposed to be pretty soldiers. I don't know how THAT is going to work…"

"Huh? Since when? Luna, are you hiding stuff from me?" Akane glared.

Luna buried her face in her paws.


Ranma and Genma sat together, looking out at the koi as they jumped out of the pond periodically.

"I still hate it," Ranma blurted, hands under his chin and looking bored.

Genma smiled slightly. "Boy, you'll learn to accept it. She's a martial artist, good looking, and is a daughter of Tendo. I'm sure you'll mesh well soon enough."

"Whatever, Pops." Ranma rolled his eyes.

The father and son sat there in silence… at least for a while.

"In case you think of leaving still, you're going to school tomorrow," Genma announced.

"WHAT?!" Ranma yelled in shock.

"It's the same school as Tendo's daughters. Protect them. Especially your fiancée. It's a martial artist's duty, after all." Genma looked up to the sky, trying to appear dignified and in control.

"POPS!" Ranma screamed in rage and attacked his father.


"Look, if you're not going to be of any help, Luna, then I'll just do what I should have done in the first place!" Akane humphed.

Luna was already regretting it before she even spoke. "And what is that?"

"Ask Television!" Akane smiled broadly and jumped, waving her arms slightly as she went temporarily chibi.

"…" Luna sighed and curled up in her bed.

"Anyway, I'll be doing that all night, probably… Wish me luck!" Akane smiled and closed the door.

'I don't get that girl one bit,' Luna thought, shaking her head. 'I hope she keeps it down….'


Author's notes: what is Akane going to find out? How badly will Luna's head hurt? Will Ranma be able to stand the crazy? Until next year, bye! From the TEXT! Happy Christmas, everyone! And a Merry New Year!