The Red Side of a Blue Moon

~Noy Telinú~

Warning: reading fanfics can waste valuable time. It can also kill time. Moderation is key. But it isn't a blade. Or is it? O_o

Caution: we are at 40 k words now. I hope that means more people reading me, the Text.

Happy fathers day!: go be nice to your father. Hopefully he is better than Genma and Soun. If not, then ouch... Text feels for you. Wonder what Noy will do today... Telinú was messing with green paint...

Reviews: they are for me AND for you! Grymloq, you're welcome. Noy hates Usagi and Tux boy… that's kinda why SM is actually someone not stupid. Compucles, it IS a fukufic… don't you read these? Or the profile? luger 7, so is your hair. Guest, yet there are so few favorites… WHY? Keja-B, good enough for me! hero in a cup, what you are saying is true, from a certain point of view… James Birdsong, Amazing? Fantastic!

You have been warned….

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Chapter 7: Don't know what to do

Morning music started again, as usual. It was the same every day…

*Record screech*

Until now!

Neighbors yelled and complained about the noise of the Saotomes beating each other up.

But it just made Akane smile.

"Breakfast is ready!" Michiru announced.


Akane snickered as a girl and her panda came into the house, soaked.

"It's not funny," Ranma mumbled, grabbing the hot water left out for them.

"For you…" Akane pointed out. "To me, it is actually pretty funny."

Ranma sighed and changed back.

"How is your head?" Ami asked, observing Ranma carefully.

Ranma shrugged. "Same as always. What happened last night? I remember some… stupid things…"

"You chugged painkillers. That's the only stupid thing that happened last night," Akane stressed.

Genma objected, now human. "Now see here, GIRL!"


Akane put down her cup and looked Genma in the eye. "BAD animal advisor!"


The youngest Tendo karate chopped him in the head.

Ranma laughed, Ami forced her face neutral, Michiru hid her giggles, and Soun… cried.

Michiru shook her head and spoke up. "Anyway, breakfast is here. So let's eat."

"Thank you for the food!" the group said quickly, except for Genma, who raised a sign.

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"Still don't like school…" Ranma mumbled as he walked with the Tendo sisters.

"That makes three of us." Akane shrugged. "We are made to suffer; it's our lot in life."

Ami sighed. "That is because you watch too much television instead of reading…"

"HEY!" Akane pointed at her twin. "I read stuff!"

"Only manga," Ami clarified.

"WRONG!" Akane crossed her arms. "I have read other books… although usually only after the computer cheats too much and I have to look something up…"

Michiru rolled her eyes. "Little sister, you are such a {geek}."

"Why, thank you!" Akane smiled.

Michiru growled. "{Geek} is an otaku, little sister."

"Nuh uh!" Akane stuck her tongue out. "One, I am a girl… TWO, I am a teen, three, they mean different things…"

"Hello there," Haruka announced her presence.

Ranma stopped in his tracks. "Hi…"

Michiru smiled. "Good morning, Haruka. Nice to see you again…"

"Now kiss!" Akane grunted, annoyed. "If you to want to play lovebirds, do it when I'm not around…"

Ami sighed. "'Kane…"

"No, it's fine." Haruka smiled. "She's more beautiful when angry."

Ranma raised an eyebrow at this. "Uh huh. Right, sure she is. Who are you?"

Haruka bowed dramatically. "As the love of my life said, I am Haruka, the best racecar driver in Japan and absolutely flawless…"

Akane snicked at that and sang, "Absolutely flawless…"

Ranma blinked, confused and looked over to Ami.

"It's an in joke." Ami shrugged.

"Uh huh." Ranma shook his head. "So… what's your family name? Or are you ronin?"

"That's… classified." Haruka looked away.

"Kuno," Akane blurted.

Haruka glared at Akane.

Ami and Michiru synchronized a facepalm.

Ranma's eyes widened.

The youngest Tendo shrugged. "It's true. Did your brother get over his obsession with me?"

Haruka groaned. "No, unfortunately. Though he does have obsessions with… other girls as well now. Particularly the one named Moon…"

"DAMMIT!" Akane growled.

"Who?" Ranma asked.

"He doesn't know WHO they are though, so…" Haruka rubbed her neck.

Akane balled her fists and stormed off. "KUNO!"

Ranma shook his head. "That jerk."

Ami nodded. "Yeah, I guess he is."

Michiru sighed. "I hope she doesn't kill him…"

The four people glanced at each other and took off after Akane.

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Ranma, Ami, Michiru, and Haruka stared blankly at the sight before them.

Akane Tendo was choking Tatewaki Kuno with one hand, holding him up in the air despite him being much taller… somehow.

"You stay away from Sailor Moon and the Senshi, you hear me?" Akane spat in his face, talking quietly so only he could hear. "If I find out you are harassing them, I swear, you will be frozen in carbonite, hanging on my wall. Mark my words, Rose Tophat."

Kuno gagged, trying to get Akane to let go.

Akane, moon symbol on her head, narrowed her eyes. "Do I make. Myself. Clear?"

Kuno couldn't really respond, choking and all.

Akane threw him aside, right into a tree.

"Tear this ship apart until you've found- Never mind…" Akane shook her head and walked into school.

The students didn't know what just happened.

Kuno flopped like a fish, gasping.

Ami glanced around. "Well, I have a class to teach. I will see you later…."

The blue-haired girl ran after her twin.

Ranma scratched his head. 'Who's Sailor Moon? What do soldiers have to do with anything?'

Haruka whispered to Michiru. "What did he do?"

"I have no idea. Did you hear what she said?" Michiru whispered back.

"No clue. I'm not a lip reader… besides yours, of course…" Haruka smirked.

Ranma rolled his eyes. "See you later."

Haruka watched Ranma leave with a frown. 'Akane's fiancé, eh? I'm keeping my eye on you….'

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Sayuri and Yuka fretted as they paced at their desks, anxiously waiting for Akane.

Nearby, some of the students were chattering.

"Seriously! Multiple Senshi last night, I swear!" a student stressed.

"But it was Kuno who said that!" another student countered.

"I heard explosions last night… and lots of yelling…" yet another student spoke up.

"It could have just been Akane. You know how she is," student number four suggested.

"What if Akane IS a Senshi?" a different student wondered.

The group looked at each other, pondering.

'Not good.' Yuka sweated.

That's when Akane barged in. "Honestly… Kuno… Why's everyone looking at me?"

Indeed, the whole class was.

"Do I have something on my face?" Akane asked.

Ranma strolled in, hands in his pockets. "Hey, Akane, what do soldiers have to do with anything?"

Sayuri's mind raced. 'Soldiers? Senshi. Sailor Senshi… RANMA KNOWS… kinda… maybe…'

"We have soldiers?" a random student asked.

Akane facepalmed.

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It was lunch at Furinkan High and it was chaotic.

The whispers grew throughout the school that there were Senshi in the area, fighting justice and being cute. Some were convinced it was actually Akane, doing something crazy again. Others thought it was true, that there were multiple Senshi there. Some thought it was actually Sailor V moving into the area. Others thought they were government robots fighting crime. Some of those thought they were from the future. And some of THOSE people thought they were fighting OTHER robots from the future who were trying to build Skynet. Many, however, especially in the upper two grades, thought it was just Kuno being Kuno. But some in Michiru's class thought that maybe… maybe there was some truth to it. After all, Akane did beat up Kuno badly that morning, much more brutally than usual.

So when Akane got her lunch out, there were murmurs throughout the school.

"Akane… this is bad," Yuka whispered to her friend. "Some think you're a Senshi."

Sayuri was fidgeting in her seat, worrying about the rumors.

"Nah, I wouldn't worry too much," Akane whispered back. "It's Kuno."

Sitting away from everyone else, Ranma ate his lunch quickly without paying attention to the people in the room.

"Akane. The Senshi must definitely be Akane," Hiroshi theorized. "She's always in these messes."

"Well, if she is, which I don't know, then how about the others?" Daisuke asked. "Sayuri and Yuka? AMI? Michiru?"

Hiroshi rubbed his chin. "I… don't know… I doubt they would do that. I mean, yeah, they do stuff with her, but Sayuri and Yuka aren't that athletic and… I doubt the other Tendo sisters would do something that crazy."

"I dunno… Hey ,Ranma, what do you think?" Daisuke asked. "You live with the Tendos, are all the Tendo girls martial artists?"

Ranma blinked. "I dunno. I don't see the older two practice. Ami studies all the time and Michiru plays music and goes out with her boyfriend."

"But how about Akane?" Hiroshi asked. "Is she a Senshi?"

Ranma raised his eyebrow. "Why would she be a soldier?"

"No, no… a Sailor Senshi." Daisuke clarified. "Like Sailor V."

"What's a Sailor V?" Ranma scratched his head.

Daisuke and Hiroshi's jaws dropped.

"What?" Ranma threw his arms in the air. "What did I say?"

"This is going to be a loooong story…" Daisuke groaned.

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While on the outside Akane was portraying a calm, relaxed demeanor, inside, she was freaking out mildly. And it was only mild because she had a plan to fix her problem.

And she was so preoccupied on fixing the problem that she was ignoring Ranma as they were walking home.

"Hey. HEY!" Ranma got right into her ear. "AKANE!"

"AHHH!" Akane jumped. "What was that for!?"

"That's MY line!" Ranma growled. "You're really not paying attention."

"Yes, I… Wait… Where's my lunch?" Akane wondered as she looked around. "Did I just black out the rest of school?!"

"Apparently." Ranma rolled his eyes. "Anyway, there's this schoolgirl going around being a vigilante with magic, right? This Sailor V?"

Akane nodded. "Yeaaaaah… And?"

"Why haven't I heard about it!?" Ranma threw his arms into the air. "Three years? I mean, come on!"

"You're gonna have to ask your panda about that." Akane shrugged. "Seriously, why do you stick with him? He's a terrible animal advisor."

Ranma laughed despite himself. "Well, he raised me, so…"

"Yeah…" Akane shook her head sadly. "Well, I have stuff to do, so good luck finding a solution to your headache problem. Ami is awesome at healing things, so it would be a good idea to let her treat you when she gets home."

Ranma grumbled. "Fine…"

"Look, I know that being treated sucks, so I'll get you ice cream, alright?" Akane smiled.

"Ice cream?" Ranma blinked. 'I never had that before. Pops said it was only for girls.'

"Yep, I'll pay." Akane giggled. "Ice cream makes everything better!"

"Um…" Ranma wasn't so sure. "Well, guys and sugar…"

Akane spotted a puddle and smiled. "Well, there is a fix for that."

"Huh?" Ranma raised an eyebrow.


Akane put an arm around the now female Ranma. "There's no problem now. Besides, no one will recognize you like this, right? It's a chance to… unwind… and not worry about your manly image."

"I don't know…" Ranma looked away. "Pops…"

"Cursed you. Think of it as revenge," Akane suggested.

Ranma couldn't think of an argument against that. "Fine, I guess…"

Akane smiled. "Oh, you're so cute like that!"

*Rub rub rub*

Ranma's heart sped up as Akane rubbed her cheek against hers.

"See you later!" Akane waved and went inside.

Ranma shivered. "HEY! I'M A GUY! Guys aren't cute…"

But Akane was in her room already.

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Ami entered Dr. Tofu's office, focused on business but a little happier than usual.


The bell rang as Ami walked in.

"Hello? Dr. Tofu-senpai?" Ami asked. "Are you available at this particular juncture?"

Dr. Tofu, practitioner of alternative medicine, came out of his office with a smile. "Hello there, Ami. Yes, I am available right now. What brings you here today?"

Ami sighed blissfully, and shook her head. "I have… a patient who has head trauma…"

"What happened to Akane this time?" Dr. Tofu pinched his nose and closed his eyes, fearing the worse.

"Fortunately, nothing." Ami sweatdropped. "Anyway, this… boy… has massive headaches that won't go away. It has been going on for over a decade and the best they can do is issue him higher and higher levels of painkillers, reaching the medically safe limit. And even that is now too little to combat them. They are seemingly random and impairing his life."

"Hmm…" Dr. Tofu rubbed his chin. "So he has the Ranma Saotome disease. Unfortunately, no one has made much progress on that due to there being only one diagnosed case on record. If this is true, it will be only the second known instance of this…"

Ami blushed, embarrassed. "Dr. Tofu-senpai …-san …-sama? Um… Ranma Saotome is the one I am currently trying to help…"

"Really?" Dr. Tofu's eyes widened. "That's… fascinating! Could you bring him in? I would like to study him. How do you know him anyway?"

"Um… sure," Ami agreed. "He is 'Kane's fiancé…"

"Good for her." Dr. Tofu smiled.

"Yes. Yes, it is…" Ami's mind raced. 'That's right… With her and Ranma together… that means I'm free to try to get senpai to notice me!'

"I will be free only for an hour, though." Dr. Tofu glanced at the clock. "So I would appreciate it if you would bring him here shortly… if he is available, of course."

Ami nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, I will! Anything for you, Dr. Tofu-senpai!"

Dr. Tofu sweatdropped. "Thank you, Ami…"

With that, Ami ran, ran, ran… all the way home.

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Michiru gazed out the window as Haruka drove down the streets of Tokyo with the top down. The couple's hair flowing in the wind was the only similarity in their expressions. Haruka was obviously enjoying herself, while Michiru was calmly bored with a hint of irritability.

"Hey, beautiful, why the sad face?" Haruka asked, seeing her love out of the corner of her eye.

"Your brother," Michiru answered bluntly. "I am sick of him causing trouble. Fighting Akane… Plus, he knows something about the Sailor Senshi…"

Haruka frowned. "Possibly. He was the one spreading rumors."

"What should we do? And by we I mean you," Michiru asked.

Haruka sighed. "I don't know…"

Michiru continued to gaze out of the car, watching the scenery go by in silence.

Haruka stayed quiet as well until they reached their destination.

"We are here…" Haruka informed, glancing at the clock. "Thirty-six minutes. Plan accordingly so that we make it here on time."

Michiru nodded and took in the place in front of her. "Viewing it from backstage… it's very awkward."

"I know what you mean," Haruka agreed. "The magic just… fades away…"

Michiru sighed. "Yes…"

"Still, DisneySea… Wow." Haruka smiled. "So many people would kill for this opportunity."

"I just hope no one DOES try to kill others when I'm performing," Michiru worried.

Haruka wrapped her arm around her girlfriend. "Don't worry. Even if this place does seem to lose some of its magic, YOUR magic can protect them from any threat."

Michiru smiled despite herself. "I hope so."

"That. Do that more," Haruka laughed. "You are even more beautiful when you smile."

Michiru kissed Haruka on the cheek. "Flattery will get you nowhere… except in bed."

Haruka laughed. "My place then?"

"Yes. You know why…" Michiru reminded.

With that, they left for Nerima.

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Akane slammed her door. "Luna! Problem! NOW!"

Luna lifted her head up. "Enemy attack?"

"Worse!" Akane got down to Luna's level. "Secret identity crisis!"

"Oh no!" Luna's eyes widened. "You didn't transform in public, did you!?"

"No, but people are spreading rumors that there are Senshi around, some saying it's me!" Akane worried. "I need a better mask."

Luna sweatdropped. "The mask-"

"Reveals too much!" Akane interrupted. "Really? White with glass eyeholes?! What kind of stupid idea is that!?"

"It's pretty," Luna mumbled.

"Well, pretty doesn't work. I need better…" Akane rubbed her chin. "What does the mask actually do, anyway?"

Luna made herself look regal. "The mask tracks targets, threats, and civilians in the area. It also helps track other Senshi as well as anyone else you may wish to locate."

"So… a super HUD, then?" Akane figured. "It would work better as an actual… helmet!"

Luna looked on worryingly as Akane giggled.

"Akane?" Luna reached out to touch the girl.

"Why didn't I think of it before?" Akane stood up. "Stay here! I'll be right back!"

Before Luna could react, Akane zipped out of her room.

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Ranma was practicing in the dojo, male again and already sweating.

The pigtailed lad was just landing from a jump when all of a sudden…

"Meep meep!" Akane meeped as she rushed past.


Ranma landed undignified on the floor. "What the?"

Akane disappeared into the shed next to the dojo.

Ranma scratched his head and walked over to the shed. "Why would Akane go in here?"

The wind blew the grass as Ranma stood here, wondering.

'Perhaps I should find out.' Ranma's hand reached for the door.

That's when someone came out of the dojo.

"Ranma!" Ami called out. "There you are!"

The pigtailed lad moved his hand away. "Oh. Hi, Ami."

"I need you to come with me to see someone. He may be able to help your… headaches," Ami worded carefully.

Ranma's gaze switched from the shed to Ami to the shed to Ami to the shed to Ami. "Alright. Lead the way."

Ami nodded and thus did so.

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Haruka groaned as she honked her horn. "Come on, move it!"

Michiru sighed as she saw the traffic getting worse. "If this way is so bad, we won't make it home until sunset."

"Great…" Haruka honked again. "Move it, people!"

"Perhaps we could go that way?" Michiru pointed. "Cruise by Tokyo Harbor?"

"Sure, why not? Anything is better than here." Haruka shrugged.


With a push of a button, Haruka's car flipped over, launching itself into the air…


… And into the harbor.

Michiru, frowned. "'Ruka!"

Haruka laughed. "Totally worth it. And we are in the harbor now. Much better, don't you think?"

"You are SOOO getting it tonight." Michiru closed her eyes.

"Oooh!" Haruka bounced her eyebrows. "Is that a promise?"

Michiru giggled despite herself. "Yes…"

Haruka smiled and floored it, causing the car-turned-boat to zoom off, creating waves. "I'll keep you to that."

"Definitely." Michiru nodded.

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"I'm going to win again, Saotome…" Soun chuckled. "I'm on a roll!"

"Oh yeah?" Genma narrowed his eyes, trying to think of a solution. "Well, I have an ace up my sleeve…"

"It's shogi, Saotome, not a card game." Soun deadpanned.

Genma rolled his eyes. "Riggghhhttt. Anyway, your daughter will cause your demise! In three… two…"

Akane rushed by, causing the wind to blow wildly. "YOUDIDN'TSEEANYTHING!"

Soun's eye twitched as his hair was messed up.

"Oh, would you look at that, old friend?" Genma smiled. "Who's winning now?"

Soun glanced at the table to see that he was losing. "Awwww…."

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Akane slammed her door, sliding down the inside. "Whew! That was close…"

"I'm almost afraid to ask, but what's in that box?" Luna tilted her head.

Akane smirked. "The solution to my problem! Yay! Akane is so great! Yay…"

Luna rolled her eyes at Akane's celebration. "Care to explain?"

"Yep!" Akane giggled. "I need a way to keep others from knowing about me, right? And the mask sucks, so… why not a helmet?"

Luna sweatdropped. "Akane…"

"Is the awesome, I know." Akane smiled. "Right now I haz tree optionz! As you cats would say…"

Luna groaned.

"There's this one, Samus's helmet," Akane noted, pulling the first helmet from the box. "Nice red and green thing going on, and enough visor to see clearly while keeping others from seeing me! Although it doesn't really go with my outfit… and I'm obviously a girl in it. Not to mention having the armor too would be sweeeet… but it's still good."

Luna raised her eyebrow. "I don't think this will work…"

"And why is that?" Akane asked, hands on her hips. "You jelly?"

Luna stared at Akane in confusion. "I… Wha-… Never mind. The mask, your tiara… those are magic… Magic."

Akane slumped. "Oh, shoot. I forgot. The magic tiara of doom… This causes some problems. Unless…"

Luna blinked. "What?"

"Hold on…" Akane took a deep breath. {MOON POWAR!}

Luna closed her eyes.

"Khhjwohouwghiub… Glad I got that off my chest…" Akane sighed. "Thanks for listening…"

Luna sweatdropped. "Moon, what did you just say?"

Moon blinked. "What? You mean you weren't listening!?"

"All I heard was a compressed jumble of words," Luna answered. "The time differences between your point of view and others' while you transform makes it long for you and an instant for us."

"… What?" Moon asked flatly. "That is incredibly stupid."

"There's a time warping thing…" Luna shook her head. "It is complicated."

Moon's eye twitched.

"What's wrong?" Luna asked.

"Forget it…" Moon shook her head. "Anyway… what if I put the tiara on the OUTSIDE?!"

"What are you talking about!?" Luna nearly screamed. "That's improper! There are rules!"

"Rules, smchules, as long as I'm rich." Moon waved her hand, dismissing it. "Which I am."

Luna facepalmed.

"Yeah, hit yourself. Thinking rules apply to people with money." Moon stuck her tongue out in disgust. "Screw the rules, I have money."

"You are not getting it, are you?" Luna took a deep breath. "IT. IS. AGAINST. THE RULES!"

"Yeah… and?" Moon egged Luna to get to the point.

Luna's body shook in fury. "AHHHHHH! What is WRONG with you!?"

"Whoa, chill." Moon shook her head sadly. "You didn't even allow me to show you the other options. Here's the second helmet, MJOLNIR Powered Assault Armor/Mark V[B] Helmet with a blue visor. Ami built it herself. Although, I don't know if it is tech ready… In fact, I'm not sure any of these are."

Too tired to retort, Luna gave up and sat in her bed with a sigh.

"And then there's this. Mandalorian helmet, Old Republic Era style," Moon showed. "Although it's based more on Mandalore's rather than the standard-issue version… looks better, what with the T shape and all… and the redness fits me, right?"

Luna massaged her forehead. "It won't work."

"Oh yeah?" Moon smirked. "I'll prove you wrong!"

Luna watched as Moon took off her tiara… and froze.

"I can't decide!" Moon freaked. "I mean, Samus is good, but, that green… ehhh… And then there's the Reach helmet, but it doesn't seem as commanding… Especially compared to the Mandalorian one, but that's probably not as useful as the other two…"

Luna groaned. "I'm going back to sleep then…"

Moon slumped.

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Ami took a deep breath as she and Ranma arrived at the office of Dr. Tofu.

"Well, here we are," Ami announced.

Ranma looked around. "This is somewhat familiar…"

"Yes, I got hot water here on your first day," Ami reminded.

"Ah." Ranma nodded, understanding.

Ami smiled and opened the door. "Dr. Tofu, we're here."

The two teens walked in to find him sitting and drinking tea.

"Hello there," Dr. Tofu greeted.

Ami smiled. "Here he is, Doctor. Ranma Saotome…"

'Oh, this guy… Gotta be careful, he only saw me when I was a girl.' Ranma waved. "Hey."

Ami glanced at the clock. "Sorry, I have to leave for now. Thank you for doing this, Doctor."

With a quick bow, Ami left for cram school.

"Well then, let's get started." Dr. Tofu smiled. "I'm Dr. Tofu Ono. Please take a seat."

Ranma shrugged and did so.

"So, what can you tell me about your headaches, Ranma? In as much detail as possible, please." Dr. Tofu grabbed a pencil and notepad. "Don't be afraid to be open. I won't judge you, and there is confidentiality between me and you."

Ranma took a deep breath. "Well, it started almost fifteen years ago…."

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Michiru eventually started to enjoy speedboating on the water. Although the seas seemed to be rougher than the norm, Michiru didn't worry. This spike wasn't as big as even the day before.

Haruka was much more into it, however. "Money doesn't buy happiness… but it does make your life awesome! WHOO!"

Michiru smiled and shook her head. "But love is more important than money."

"Put them together, and what do you got?" Haruka smirked.


The shockwave of an explosion rocked the carboat.

"What was that!?" Haruka exclaimed.

Michiru's heart sank as the seas became excessively violent. "We are in trouble… THERE!"

Haruka looked to where her love was pointing to see a cruise ship floating perfectly fine. "I don't see anything wrong with it. Wait…"

That's when a fireball erupted from it.


The carboat shook again.

Michiru narrowed her eyes. "Take me to it."

"WHAT!?" Haruka shook her head. "Are you crazy?!"

"There are Youma there… I know it." Michiru frowned.

Haruka calmed down. "There are? Then… I guess you have a job to do, Magic Girl…"

Before Michiru could respond, the carboat sped off towards the cruise ship.

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Moon gripped her head, hair in her hands. "I can't take it anymore!"

Luna was asleep; being around the Tendo house for a while now, she had learned to sleep through through such things easily. "Zzzz…"

*Ring r-ring*

Moon's eyes widened as the phone echoed throughout the house. "Why do I have a sinking feeling?"

*Ring r-ring*

Moon stood up "I should go get it… Wait! Mr. Saotome's there! I can't go like this! At least… not without a way to protect my identity!"

*Ring r-ring*

Moon made one final comparison in her head before grabbing the Mandalorian helmet and running out of her door.

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Soun messed with his moustache as he stared at the board.

*Ring r-ring*

Soun frowned. "Someone get that!"

*Ring r-ring*

Soun got up. "Forgot, no one else is here. It's my move, Saotome…"

[Suuurrre…] Genma raised a sign, as he was a panda.

*Ring r-ring*

Soun sighed and picked up the phone. "Hello, Tendo residence. Soun Tendo speaking."

"Hello, Mr. Tendo," Haruka spoke coolly.

"Haruka Kuno…" Soun's mood darkened. "What do you want?"

"Nothing much, nothing much…" Haruka lied. "I just need to talk to Ami or Akane…"


"Relax. I didn't do anything of the sort…" Haruka didn't even flinch. "I just need to talk to Ami or Akane."

That's when Moon skidded into the kitchen. "Who's that, Dad?"

Soun turned to Moon, still a demon head. "THE BOY WHO DARES TAKE MY MICHIRU FROM ME!"

Moon walked over and uncorked him, causing the demon head to deflate. "Calm down, Dad…"

"But he wants to take your sister's virginity…" Soun sniffled, normal again yet on the floor.

Moon rolled her eyes. "Didn't you want this to happen?"

"But not NoOoow…" Soun whined. "While I'm glad she's grown up and moved on to proper male-female relationships, she's still my little girl…"

"You'll still let me go all lesbian with Ranma as a girl though, right?" Moon asked, covering the phone receiver with her hand.

"Oh, yes, of course." Soun shrugged. "You are getting married first, after all."

"You're so weird…" Moon shook her head and took her hand off the phone. "Hey, Haruka. What's up?"

"Your eldest sister is being a magic girl at the harbor. You might want to help as well," Haruka informed, a bit impatient.

Moon's eyes widened. "I see… explains the waves I hear in the background… You're on your speedcarboat again, aren't you?"

"*BOOM* HURRY!" Haruka shouted.

"BYE!" Moon hung up.

"Speedcarboat?" Soun's eye twitched.

"Really awesome," Akane spoke quickly and put on her helmet. "See ya."

Soun stared blankly as Akane ran off.

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"… So it eventually came to be that no painkiller was strong enough and I was out of options." Ranma sighed. "Although when I was in China I found some more powerful stuff… It's untested and seems to mess with my mind."

"Interesting…" Dr. Tofu commented. "And how would you describd these headaches?"

"Well, at first it was annoying, but they got worse every time. Thankfully, due to my training I've been able to handle it, but it now feels like my brain wants to burst out of my head from all directions," Ranma groaned. "Can't concentrate at all when that happens."

Dr. Tofu's pencil rhythmically tapped his lips. 'Nothing I can think of… Hmm…'

"Pops said that it was my fault for screwing up that training exercise when I was six, but I doubt it." Ranma snorted. "I can't really remember anything before that though…"

"Yes, this training exercise that you mentioned earlier… Care to elaborate?" Dr. Tofu asked.

Ranma looked away. "Let's just say that it was the one thing Pops regrets doing. At least that I know of…"

"I see…" Dr. Tofu frowned. "Was this exercise in any way shape or form… extraordinary?"

"Like what, magic?" Ranma asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Just curious…" Dr. Tofu tried to deflect it.

"Well… maybe. Perhaps demonic, or…" Ranma scratched his head. "You know those comic books that Americans like? You know, manga but with color? It kinda… MAYBE seemed a bit like it belonged in one of those…"

Dr. Tofu nodded and wrote that down.

"You believe in magic?" Ranma asked, curious at the question. "You do… don't you?"

Dr. Tofu nodded. "Do you not?"

Ranma laughed. "I know magic exists. Believe me, I… ARRGGG!"

Dr. Tofu's eyes widened as Ranma gripped his head.

"It's happening AGAIN! DAMMIT!" Ranma bit his lip.

Dr. Tofu caught him as he fell to the ground, writhing in pain.

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Moon burst through her door, fortunately for her not breaking it. "LUNA! I need to get to the harbor!"

Luna snored. "Zzz…"

Moon picked her up and shook her. "I need to get to the HARBOR!"

"RahaHAhahhAHhh!" Luna yelped as she was shaken. "StoOoooP THAAAT!"

Moon did so, staring into her eyes. "HELP! Michiru is in danger!"

Luna took a deep breath. "Then we must go…"

"I KNOW THAT!" Moon screeched. "I was hoping you had some sort of way to get down there fast!"

"No… I'm afraid not." Luna looked down. "Doesn't Ami have some sort of way to do that?"

"Vehicles aren't her expertise…" Moon sighed. "It's on the other side of the city!"

"I'm sorry…" Luna looked away.

"Wait, I got it! Here we come, Biggest Sister!" Moon laughed and jumped out the window, Luna in her hands.

"Careful!" Luna screeched. "Did you REALLY have to do that?!"

Moon laughed. "No time to waste, my furry friend!"

Luna groaned. "Is that helmet cutting off your air supply? You are sounding a bit… off. More than usual."

"Nah, I can breathe just fine, even in SPACE!" Moon giggled. "Now… where was that lot…?"

Moon ran down the streets, carrying Luna in her arms, until she found the lot in question.

"Yes! Haha!" Moon burst into crazed laughter.

Luna was put on top of Moon's head as the girl opened the door to a broken-down shed.

There sat a '60s van, painted in bright colors.

"Oh, no… no, no… DON'T!" Luna shook violently.

Moon didn't care as she went inside. "It may not be a mystery, but it IS a machine. Oh, yes… watch out for dog droppings, Luna. I don't know if we got them all out."

Luna was scared stiff. "Do you even have a license?!"

Moon smirked. "You don't need a license to save the WORLD…"

With that, she turned the keys and started the van.


"MWAHAHAHAH!" Moon laughed.


The van sped out of the shed and the lot, careening down the streets of Tokyo.

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Haruka got as close to the cruise ship as she could, bracing herself for any sudden swells. "Akane will be here as soon as she can, but don't count on her right away… Ready?"

Neptune nodded. "Wish me luck."

Haruka blew a kiss. "Best I can do, love, unless you want us to be killed…"

Neptune nodded and jumped onto the side of the ship, finding a foothold and pulled herself up.

That's when she heard a voice… a voice that would have sent shivers through a lesser Senshi.

"You fail again, Senshi. Too late… as usual," a male voice echoed throughout the ship. "But we must meet again sometime… if you survive, that is. Thetis, you have my permission to kill them. Ta-ta…"

"Damn you! *cough*" a young girl's voice was heard, obviously in pain.

"Beryl sends her condolences," an older female voice spoke coldly.

Neptune crept farther into the ship, still not seeing anyone.


A giant fireball lit up the area in front of Neptune, signaling the way.

"Missed… again…" another young girl's voice declared, slower and softer than the other.

Neptune's eyes narrowed. 'Oh, no, you don't.'

Suddenly, giant columns of water came out of the ocean, slamming into the ship.

The vessel shook, almost knocking Neptune off her feet.

The screams of the two girls echoed throughout the ship.

*Splash splash*

Neptune growled and ran forward, searching for who was behind this.

"Foolish Senshi! While you may have killed Youma before… I am one of Beryl's best…" the self-proclaimed Youma sneered. "You will pay for your crimes against the Dark Kingdom and Queen Beryl."

Neptune rounded the last corner, now seeing the Youma in all its glory.

{Deep Submerge!} Neptune shouted angrily.

"Who?" The Youma turned, only too see a giant attack coming right at her.

Thetis moved out of the way in time… mostly.

"AHHH!" the Youma screamed in pain, falling to the floor as her legs turned to dust.

Neptune quickly reached the creature and stood over her. "Sailor Neptune. That is who, monster."


The faceless youma had a no mouth, but wanted to scream as Neptune stepped on her neck, the heel of her high heel going right through, causing tremendous pain.


The Youma's head rolled as Neptune tore it off with her heel.

"I am the Queen of the Seas, Youma…" Neptune spat. {Deep Submerge.}

Thetis turned to dust as the magic attack hit her.

Neptune gazed around, disgusted at what she saw.

People on the floor, holding hands… all still and unmoving.

"Hmm?" Neptune blinked.

The ship rippled, its illusion fading away to leave a rusty boat behind.

Neptune ran over to the edge, looking for the other Senshi. "Hello?! Anyone?!"

Neptune scanned the area around the boat, wishing that the sun would stay up just a while longer.

'Where are they?' Neptune worried, fearing the worst.

That's when she saw two figures, one red and one orange, making their way to shore.

"HEY!" Neptune shouted. "HEY!"

They didn't respond in any way.

Neptune groaned and left the boat, unaware that the people on board were still alive.

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While not common, most people in Tokyo have heard a cat scream at least once in their lives. More so when the internet came along. Still, the sound of Luna screaming was different than normal. For one, she wasn't actually a cat, and two, Akane Tendo was the cause.

Cats that heard the scream bowed their heads, observing a moment of silence for their… if a bit odd-sounding, cat sister. For they knew that type of scream…

"The clock is ticking!" Moon spoke as she drove like crazy. "I can't waste time! Should I take the streets or the roofs!?"

Luna still screamed the scream of her life. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Honestly…" Moon sighed. "You're a terrible navigator as well…"


Cars honked.

"WATCH THE ROAD!" a driver spewed.

The van that Moon drove weaved through the streets recklessly.

"Arggh! We'll never make it in time at this rate…" Moon groaned. "Wait… a ramp!"

Luna dug her claws into the seat even further, scared out of her mind.


The van launched from the ramp, sending it skyward.

"Wow… we're flying…" Moon smiled in awe.

Luna screamed at the top of her lungs.


The van landed on a roof.


And skipped off it to another roof.


And roof jumped to another.


And another.


And another.

"Very convenient for these buildings to line up tallest to shortest," Moon commented.


"AHHHHHH!" Luna screamed.

"Hold on!" Moon yelled as they jumped off the last roof down to the street below.



Moon controlled the van, barely, as it zoomed down the street.

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Ranma was laid down by Dr. Tofu, fidgeting and seething in pain.

"You're burning up!" Dr. Tofu noted as he felt Ranma's head.

"GAH!" Ranma tossed and turned, gritting his teeth.

'This is worse than I thought.' Dr. Tofu bit his lip. "Hold still, I'll get some morphine."

Ranma panicked. "Wait! DON'T!"


Ranma's elbow hit Dr. Tofu in the groin, causing him to fall over backwards in pain. That in turn caused him to kick a bucket full of water with his foot, which flew in the air…


… Right into Ranma's face.

Dr. Tofu stared in amazement as Ranma transformed from a male to female. "… So it does exist. Ow…"

'Huh?' Ranma blinked as she felt her head. "It… It stopped…"

"Care to explain your *cough* appearance?" Dr. Tofu smiled, knowingly… as well as to hide his pain.

Ranma sighed. "It is all Pop's fault…"

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"There it is! I can see the ocean!" Moon laughed as she swerved the van towards the water. "Where is the boat though? Can't see a thing in this helmet…"

Luna, who had stopped screaming due to her throat hurting, yelled out again. "AHHHHH!"

Moon rolled her eyes, giving a disappointed sigh. "You really, REALLY need to listen to me and watch those movies, Luna. Although technically I'm wearing something from the EU…"

Luna's heart was beating so hard and so quickly that it literally leapt forward in her chest again and again.

"Shoot, we're coming in too fast!" Moon sweated. "HANG ON!"

Luna screamed.

The van turned right, nearly hitting two soaked girls who were catching their breath.

"Don'tflipdon'tflipdontflip!" Moon chanted as she turned the wheel.

The van started doing a sideways wheelie, two of its tires off the ground.

"LEAN, LUNA! LEAN!" Moon shouted, struggling to keep the van from toppling over.


The other two wheels landed back on the ground, a large 40 popping up before disappearing.

"Whew…" Moon panted. "That was close… Luna?"

Luna was shaking, teeth chattering, claws deep into the seat.

"There's Haruka!" Moon pointed out and braked, causing the van to stop on a dock.

Moon jumped out of the van, ready to fight.

"Akane?!" Michiru couldn't keep her voice calm. "How did… you… Oh, no."

Moon turned to see Michiru sitting in the carboat and wrapped in a towel.

"I told you she would get here."Haruka smiled. "Drove yourself?"

Moon slumped. "Yeah… Too bad I didn't make it here in time. I wanted to dust some Youma…"

Haruka shook her head as Moon moped. "Of course… You'r ewelcome."

"For what!?" Moon glared.

"If it weren't for my driving lessons, you wouldn't be here, would you?" Haruka smirked.

Michiru rubbed her forehead. "That explains so much…"

Moon crossed her arms. "I'm not getting into a threeway with you and my sister."

"I'm not-" Haruka was cut off by her lover.

"Stop," Michiru demanded. "Now."

Haruka rubbed the back of her head, embarrassed. "Anyway… your sister said she saw something…"

"Two more Senshi. I lost sight of them, however." Michiru stated. "Unfortunately…"

"REALLY!?" Moon quickly scanned the area, glancing all over the docks. "No sign of any large power sources… Dammit…"

Moon fell to her knees, disappointed.

"So that helmet does something useful as well as hiding your beautiful face." Haruka smirked.


Haruka slumped over as the Mandalorian helmet hit her upside the head.

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"And that's it…" Ranma looked away, saddened.

"I see…" Dr. Tofu was leaning up against his counter, not hurting as much. "This problem you have with these headaches… It may be genetic…"

"What do you mean?" Ranma asked, confused.

"Since you are still wearing your clothes, and are still… you…" Dr. Tofu waved his hand. "Then this likely isn't the result of something lodged in your brain or a physical ailment such as cancer."

Ranma gulped. "It might have been cancer!?"

"Everything was on the table…" Dr. Tofu rubbed his chin. "Your condition is… unique. While people have headaches all the time, they are rarely this… violent. Tell me, have you ever been bitten by a genetically modified animal?"

"Wait, wait, wait…" Ranma shook her head in disbelief. "Bitten by a genetically modified animal? What, giving me superpowers? Are you serious?! I may not be a medical student, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like in fiction…"

"Says the short redhead girl who was a boy a five minutes ago," Dr. Tofu deadpanned.

"…" Ranma didn't have an argument for that.

"So, have you?" Dr. Tofu asked. "Or hit with a dangerous amount of nuclear radiation?"

Ranma scratched her head. "I… don't… know."

"Well, could I have a DNA sample, from both of your forms?" Dr. Tofu asked. "If it IS in your genes, then we may be able to pinpoint the problem."

Ranma looked down and sighed. "Fine…"

"Good. Until we can solve this, it would be smart to turn into a girl when you are having these headaches," Dr. Tofu suggested. "It seems to be the only thing that works."

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"Akane!" Michiru berated.

"He deserved it, oldest sister!" Moon complained.

"Ow…" Haruka groaned in pain.

Michiru narrowed her eyes. "It is MY job to rein Haruka in…"

"Well, you should do better at it…" Moon deadpanned.

"LITTLE sister!" Michiru frowned.

Haruka rubbed her head. "Calm down, calm down. I pushed it too far… My fault. Why don't I just get us home, alright?"

Moon sighed. "Fine."

Michiru took a deep breath. "Alright…"

"Good." Haruka pushed a few buttons. "Helicopter will come pick up the van. It'll be held at my house, alright?"

Moon's eyes widened. "Wait a second…"

Haruka and Michiru had giant question marks over their heads as Moon went back inside the van.

Michiru groaned as she saw a detransformed Akane with a scared-stiff Luna.

"Akane… why did you bring Luna?" Michiru wondered why she even bothered asking.

"Well, we WERE going to fight Youma, so… why not?" Akane rolled her eyes. "Honestly…"

Haruka shrugged. "Makes sense."

Akane nodded and jumped into the carboat. "Onward!"

Haruka laughed. "Once your sister kisses my injury."

"Oh, fine…" Michiru leaned over and did so.

With that, Haruka drove off.

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Ranma exited Dr. Tofu's clinic, rubbing her cheek. "Weird way to do that. Too bad I still have to be a girl… Stupid headaches."

The pigtailed girl grumbled and started walking towards the dojo.


Said girl turned around to see Ami waving.

"Oh, hey, Ami…" Ranma greeted.

Ami smiled. "So, how did it go with Tofu-sensei?"

"Stuff sucks," Ranma groaned. "Best cure for headaches is to be a girl. And being one sucks…"

Ami sweatdropped. "You obviously haven't been around the female sex very often…"

Ranma sighed. "Not really. Pops said-"

Ami cut him off. "He wants to control you. Really, it's pretty obvious."

"It's not… I mean… Really, it's… I…" Ranma slumped. "So what?"

"The 'what' is that being female isn't a bad thing," Ami answered. "In fact, there are perks."

"Like?" Ranma raised an eyebrow.

"Ranma… have you ever had ice cream before?" Ami smiled.

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"You know, you still haven't given me that ice cream you promised," Akane commented as Haruka drove through Tokyo.

Michiru raise an eyebrow. "I didn't?"

"You said Haruka would pay," Akane grumbled. "Right, Luna?"

Luna didn't respond, doing her best to stay calm in the car. It helped that Haruka was going the speed limit.

"I don't remember promising that…" Haruka muttered. "Sure, let's go."

"Whoo! Ice cream! Yay!" Akane waved her arms in the air, not caring.

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Yuka and Sayuri sat in a booth, eating ice cream and watching the patrons.

"Four… Four… Five and a half…" Yuka sighed, bored.

Sayuri ate her ice cream, trying to raise her spirits. "The girls must be seeing SOMETHING in these guys… right?"

"Money?" Yuka shrugged. "And not even that much…"

"I wonder if hanging out with the richest people in the area skewed our standards…" Sayuri pondered.

"Probably," Yuka admitted. "Let's see… The most qualified single guys are Kuno… and… um…"

Sayuri frowned. 'That really is it. And despite how rich he is… Ehhh…"

"This really sucks," Yuka mumbled. "Sometimes I think that Akane is right after all… I mean, when I look at our options…"

Sayuri sniffled and ate her ice cream faster. "I will hold out. I'm not-"

That's when Ami walked it with Ranma.

"Wowza!" Yuka's eyes widened.

Blood came out of Sayuri's nose. "Akane is right. I admit it."

Yuka held out her hand, staring at Ranma and Ami.

Sayuri paid her, still staring.

Ami saw them out of the corner of her eye and walked over to their table, Ranma nervously in tow.

"Sayuri, Yuka. Nice to meet you here." Ami smiled. "Sayuri… your nose…"

Sayuri panicked and wiped her nose. "Hi there, Belle-chan… So… *cough* who's your friend?"

Yuka eagerly waited for an answer.

Ami raised her eyebrow. 'I thought Akane would have told them…'

'Crack!' Ranma thought fast. 'I can't tell them I'm me. They would make fun of me for sure!'

Before Ami could figure out a way to explain, Ranma introduced herself.

"Kotetsu Saotome." Ranma did her best to bow in the most feminine looking way and smile. "Pleased to meet you."

Ami sweatdropped. 'Really?'

Sayuri squeed. "Steel Rice-Planting Girl! So cool!"

"Really?!" Yuka had stars for eyes. "You don't happen to have a katana by any chance, right!? Please? It'll be perfect!"

'Wow… I just came up with it because it was the only name I could think of… Thanks, Dr. Tofu, for having that manga in your office where I could see it!' Ranma smiled. "Unfortunately, no…"

Ami pinched her nose, head down. "May we sit here?"

"YES!" Sayuri's eyes became greater-than and less-than signs. "I mean… sure…"

Ranma and Ami sat on the other side of the booth from Yuka and Sayuri.

'Even the girls like me… Pops was right, being a hot girl is easy!' Ranma smiled. "Oh, thank you SO much!"

"No, thank you!" Sayuri replied.

"I wonder what this will taste like…" Ranma wondered aloud, staring at a spoonful of ice cream.

"Well, this place likes getting their stuff from Switzerland…" Yuka informed.

"So ice cream is from Switzerland?" Ranma wondered. "The more you know…"

"Yes, indeed…" Sayuri sighed, a giant smile on her face.

Ami managed to smile. 'Oh well, at least Ranma is enjoying himself… Even if this will blow up in his face.'

Ranma was just about to take a bite when…



"Whoo! Ice cream!" Akane bounced in, giddy with excitement.

'Oh, no!' all four girls in the booth thought at once, if for different reasons.

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"Here we are," Haruka stated the obvious as she parked her car.

"Whoohoo!" Akane got out of the car. "Ice cream, Animal Advisor Luna! Yay!"

Luna managed to smile, a very tiny smile as she got onto Akane's head to take a catnap.

Michiru smiled. "Thank you for doing this, 'Ruka."

"Not a problem." Haruka got out of the car and opened Michiru's door.

The youngest Tendo entered the ice cream shop gleefully.

"Whoo! Ice cream!" Akane bounced in, giddy with excitement.

"Hello, Akane!" The manager was elated to see her. "What will you be having today?"

Akane closed her eyes halfway and cat smiled as she looked up the items on the menu. "Staaaarrrrrrre…"

Michiru came in with Haruka and stood behind Akane.

"Ultra-mega-super strawberry covered in chocolate!" Akane laughed. "With a cherry on top… an intact cherry!"

Haruka chuckled at that.

Michiru rolled her eyes.

The manager nodded. "Sure thing."

Akane giggled excessively as she waited and gazed around the place. 'They fixed the wall. Redecorated too… and… Ranma is here with Ami and my friends… Wait a second… WHAT?!'

The manager gave her the ice cream and Akane took it before walking over to the four girls in the booth.

'Shoot, Akane will blow my cover!' Ranma feared.

Ami sighed. 'I was right... again, this will blow up in Ranma's face.'

'No! NooOoo… No fair, Akane! We haven't even spent five minutes with her!' Sayuri cried to herself.

Yuka bit her lip. 'Now Akane will get her all to herself. Wait… That would leave Ranma open… HOLD ON! Saotome… Now that I think about it… DAMMIT!'

"Hi, people!" Akane greeted. "Nice to see you here."

"It's not fair…" Yuka openly sobbed. "It's not fair…"

The other four girls stared at Yuka, surprised.

"Just when we see a girl that is… is like that… she's already taken. Why?! Whahaha…" Yuka's head hit the table.

Sayuri sniffled. "Yuka?"

"Just kiss Akane already, Ranma, at least that way it won't suck so much," Yuka sobbed.

"…" Ranma's jaw dropped.

"…" Ami's eyes widened.

"…" Sayuri couldn't believe her ears.

"Zzz…" Luna slept.

"I accept." Akane smiled. "Only if you're into it, that is…"

"Ak-Akane!" Ranma stuttered. "But we… I… We're both girls!"

"And your point is?" Akane raised an eyebrow. "If you don't wanna, just say so, jeez… Try to cheer up a friend and end up with a ton of problems…"

"But… but how?!" Sayuri looked under the table. "I… She… Girl? Magic. Got it."

Akane got into the booth next to Ranma. "Well, you gonna eat it or what? It's really good!"

With that, Akane started eating neatly.

Ami shook her head and resumed eating as well.

Ranma looked on in disbelief at those around her. "You girls… don't think I'm less of a man if I eat this… do you?"

Yuka looked up. "Just eat it, you coward."

"FINE!" Ranma growled. "I WILL!"

The redhead put the spoon in her mouth…

The other four stared at her.

"Ka!" Ranma smiled, a giggle escaping. "It's good!"

Everyone then continued with the ice cream eating, all happy.

Meanwhile, Haruka and Michiru shared a sundae romantically in the corner, feeding each other.

"Yu know…" Sayuri wiped her eyes. "Despite what happened… things turned out alright at the end. Right, Yuka?"

Yuka nodded, still crying but eating ice cream to cover it up. "If only I could find love…"

"If only…" Sayuri sighed.

Ranma shook her head. "Nah. In my experience, love finds YOU… too much. Don't go looking for it, believe me."

"Yeah, right…" Yuka scoffed.


Everyone in the restaurant turned towards the wall, the wall with a new hole in it.

^I've finally found you, Ranma…^ Shampoo glared, wielding two colorful maces.

"Told ya," Ranma deadpanned.

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Author's notes: WOW! So long! Noy thanks everyone so far, please support this and other fics by making entries on the fanfic wiki. Please?! I'm just a Text… just a supportive Text! Until next time!