A/N: So yeah, back again with a new story that makes me nervous, because I am way too excited while writing it. If you have read my "Hell if I Know" you are aware that I'm a fan of a humorous Heaven-Hell kind of stuff.

I got inspired by a documentary movie about the end of the world, and also by a certain novel... I'm curious if you can guess the title. :)

The first chapter is a kind of prologue, as always.

Paradise for the Lost


i found myself within a forest dark



Midway upon the journey of our life,

I found myself within a forest dark,

For the straight foreward pathway had been lost.

[Dante's Inferno]


Bushes and branches scratch her bare legs while she's trying to get through a dark forest. Her erratic breath and her own footsteps are the only things she's hearing, they're echoing in her head driving her crazy. When a wolf's howling pierces her ears, Caroline's arms squeeze around a small bundle, pressing it to her chest.

"It's gonna be okay, buddy." She whispers, more to comfort herself than the baby she's holding, because the last thing you can say about the kid is that he's afraid. Quite the opposite really, he seems rather boldly indifferent to the menacing creatures of the night. He even burps, obviously bored. Of course he instinctively doesn't fear any monster, Caroline sighs, he would rip the wolf apart if he knew who he really is.

But he never will.


She was supposed to 'get rid' of the baby before it gets to Earth. This is what you do with the Trigger, they said. Antichrist? Well, not really. It's all about this last big party, you know. Armageddon. The world is not ready for it. Not yet. We have to postpone it, we have to get rid of the Trigger. You have to do it, Caroline.

But she couldn't.

She could never 'get rid' of a baby, even if it's evil to the bone, even if it means her death, even if it's a Prince of Hell. One of four, to be exact. The youngest son, the Trigger of Apocalypse.

Elena did a great job stealing the kid from his family. One of his brothers, Elijah, would disagree of course, but what would you expect from a devil that got seduced by an angel and then got betrayed in the worst way possible? Elijah─the most honourable among those bastards but also the most cruel when push comes to shove─will never forgive Elena.

Caroline stops for a moment and looks down at the toddler stolen from the Enemy. Just a normal boy. Doesn't cry at all, just gurgles to himself from time to time. What if he lives as a human boy, has a human home, human parents; what if Caroline hides him in a small town in the middle of nowhere? If he lives safely hidden, he'll never know about his real identity and power. And he'll just lead a totally normal life, among normal people, without causing trouble such as the Apocalypse. Or drunk-drving.

There's a house on the edge of the woods, a totally normal house-a perfect house for a totally normal boy, Caroline grins. She closes her eyes and uses her power to see who's living inside. Esther Mikaelson, a single woman. Lonely.

She would love to have a son, Caroline nods to herself with absolute certainty.


First, there's a knocking at Esther's door.

Then, there's a baby at her porch, wrapped in fabric and gurgling. A baby boy.

"Poor thing," Esther gasps. "Do you have a name?" She takes the baby inside and starts to rock him in her arms.

"Let's see. How should I name you then?" Esther murmurs softly.



"KOL MIKAELSON!" Elena's shaking, every feather of her snow-white wings is moving.

"His name is Kol Mikaelson!" She spits, brandishing her finger at Caroline's nose. "He's very much alive! And his twenty-first birthday is next month!"

Caroline gulps. Well, she was really hoping to keep it secret. It just turned out that the angels had their spies (don't you think they play fair, you can't win against the forces of evil without breaking a rule or two) and now Caroline has to clean the mess she made twenty-one years ago.

All the angels have always considered her too careless. Too joyful. Brighter than light.


She prefers singing to playing the harp, she likes dancing and flying, not standing in the choir line. She's a blonde bubble of happiness. Elena, on the other hand, is a martyr, always worrying about the others, always so proper, and she cries way too much. When their superior, Bonnie, made them work together ("Your personalities complement each other perfectly" was a very, very cruel joke on her part) both angels cringed in pain.

"Come on, Elena. I'll take care of it." The blonde smiles nervously. "No need to tell the Boss, right?"

She's never really seen the Boss, but something's telling her He's not that forgiving when it comes to bringing Armageddon ahead of time.

"If you mess it up again," Elena's nostrils flare, and to Caroline she looks like a really pissed off seagull right now, "then the Final Battle will begin. And in the current rotten state of the human world..." She pauses for the better effect, "We'll lose it." She takes a deep breath, and then adds with teary eyes, "And our wings will be taken away."

Oh you drama queen you.

If you ask Caroline, Elena is one of those angels that overreact quite often. You should have seen her when her favourite earthly basketball team lost the championships last year. The hole she made in Mount Everest is still there.

But this time, Elena cries, it's not just a match. The most important battle in the history is at stake, most probably the last one. A clash of the two champion teams.

Elena's hand grabs the collar of Caroline's robe, and the dark-haired angel hisses,

"He has to survive his birthday, Care." Her fists clench around the white fabric.

(Elena is a doomsday believer.)

"Okay!" Caroline stutters. "I'll fix it. He'll be alright."

(And Caroline is a firm believer in happy endings.)

"You're lucky The Enemies don't know."

The blonde bites her lip. It's just a month. The Enemies remain in Hell playing with all kinds of sinners and stuff, so she'll just lie low and look after Kol for a while, and then the problem will be solved. This time instead of killing him she just has to keep him alive.

She already did it once.

So no big deal, right?


"Los Angeles?" Caroline sighs as she puts her sunglasses on. "Seriously?"

Kol Mikaelson, the Fourth Prince of Hell and the Trigger of Apocalypse, moved to the City of Angels from the little town of Mystic Falls some time ago. Caroline can't help but smirk at the irony.

She doesn't know much about the human world. She's heard this and that, seen some places, but watching people from above and actually living down there among them are two completely different things. Anyway, she's a quick learner.

Miraculously, Kol happens to be looking for two flatmates. Caroline rubs her hands with satisfaction when all those who were going to answer Kol's ad by a strange twist of fate don't make it to the apartment. Some of them get stuck in a traffic jam or miss the bus, the others get the wrong address.

(What? Sometimes you have to help your luck, you know.)

Kol raises an eyebrow when he opens the door and sees only one person, a blonde girl around his age with a wide smile plastered on her face, wearing a simple white dress reaching her knees.

"Hi!" She beams at him and extends her hand. "I'm Caroline."

"Kol." He lets her in and crosses his arms. Someone woke up on the wrong side of bed today, Caroline muses. "Listen, I'm already late for work. So if you want to only look around, have some tea and biscuits and a nice talk about unicorns and shit, and just simply leave, then don't bother. I'm running out of money and I need someone who's already set on living here."

Caroline pouts. How rude of you, mister. The sweet-but-devilish toddler she rescued long time ago grew up to be a handsome young man with an absolute lack of manners.

(She blames the genes.)

"I know everything about unicorns." She shrugs. That's actually quite true. Her favourite one, Charlie, has golden hooves. "And I do want to live here. I really really do. As, how do you call it? A flat-mate?"

Never in his life has Kol Mikaelson seen such a creepy girl. There is something about her that seems... out of this world. He has to blink twice to get back to reality. Well, maybe she's a Mormon.

"You're... not from here, right?" He frowns.

"Not really." Her blonde curls bounce when she shakes her head.

Kol sighs brushing one hand through his hair. "Whatever. So let me quickly show you your room, okay?"


They leave the formal stuff concerning the rent for the evening. While Kol is off working (as a bartender! Caroline's outraged. Alcohol is the devil's tool after all.) the angel tries to learn the basics. Living on Earth can't be that difficult. People have been doing this for centuries. Millenia even. Unfortunately there's no "Life on Earth for Dummies" on Kol's bookshelf so she takes the liberty of peeping into his room. Whatever he needs as a human, she will need it too, right? Let's see.

Clothes, of course. It's been a while since people were running naked in the Garden of Eden.

Books: economics, social science, political science, manipulation. "You evil, evil man." Caroline flinches with utter disgust. It seems that humanity has truly... evolved.

Then she finds a bag of cookies. Food! Obviously, as a human she needs to eat! She takes the last cookie from the bag and, slowly and carefully, brings it to her nose. The small chocolate bits smell good. She takes a bite and starts chewing.

And this is what she could call heaven on Earth. HEAVEN. She greedily devours the whole cookie and desperately looks around for one more bag. Her heart starts to beat faster. Tasty. Delicious! Oh yeah, she'll be going on a sugar high! Cookies... Cookies...

"Oh my─" She starts, but soon she remembers to control herself. In the back of her mind she sees Elena the Proper One scowling at her the way only Elena can, shaking her head disapprovingly: gluttony.

Caroline rolls her eyes. Fine.

She trudges to the living room and plops herself on the couch. If she can't eat those cookies, at least she can make herself comfortable in her new house.


When Kol gets home in the evening the first thing he sees is a pile of empty silver foils. And Caroline, with chocolate smeared all over her face and hands, sitting on the floor in the kitchen annexe, looking guilty.

''Um.'' She opens her mouth to explain herself, but then something catches her eye.

Wait a minute, not something. Someone. A man is standing behind Kol's back, smiling viciously at her. Even in the complete darkness she would recognize the aura surrounding him. His shadow that has a pair of horns although no human being can see it. The dark blue eyes that bore into hers telling her he knows. The stench of Hell accompanying him.

(Okay, the stench thing is false. He actually smells nice─like something hot and spicy.)

Still, he's one of Them.

An Enemy.


"Caroline, meet Klaus." Kol says to break the awkward silence. "Our flatmate. He'll take the last free room, the one next to yours."

"Nice to meet you, Caroline." The devil tilts his head slightly, and he extends his hand to help her get up from the floor. She lets him, trying to look as natural and normal as possible. She can't expose herself to Kol─and neither can her enemy. The man grabs her hand and yanks her up, pulling her close so his lips meet her ear for a second.

"You have chocolate on your chin, little angel." He whispers, smirking.

"Left your trident at home, have you?" She bites back.

"So you've heard of me." The devil's smirk turns into a wide nasty grin. "Fantastic."

. . .




. . .

A/N: As I said, it's just a prologue. The story will unfold in the following chapters.

Rating may (and probably will) change.

I really want to know your opinion. So let me know what you think maybe?