Summary: Kol is hit by an existential crisis, Caroline wants to teach Klaus a lesson, Rebekah deals with Christmas 101, and Elijah finally finds a new practical application for his ties.


Paradise for the Lost

Xmas Special

...

(\o/)

strike the harp and join the chorus

(\o/)

...

Kol waves at a bartender to order yet another round for him and Klaus.

"I want to just tie Caroline up and lock her in your bedroom." Kol gulps down his drink, then lets out a deep breath. He does look tired. The youngest brother is having a really hard time, and the spirit of Christmas isn't helping.

"Oh man, believe me I want to do the same." Klaus shakes his head with a wistful expression on his face, and raises his glass.

The reason for their concocted plan that would never be put into practice is simple: girl power took over their small devilish world. Meredith's advanced pregnancy has awoken Caroline's protective instinct. That's the problem with angels—once a guardian, always a guardian. Now Meredith and Caroline are inseparable, and Kol and Klaus are getting more and more frustrated.

"You better stop your girlfriend from bothering my girlfriend."

"Mind your words, little brother, it's your girlfriend that's bothering my girlfriend." Klaus snarls. They both feel pushed into the background. "It's her fault I haven't gotten any in a week." He sighs.

"You poor man." Kol's voice is dripping with irony. "I haven't gotten any in months!" He might have said it a bit too loud. Two full glasses land in front of them at the bar counter.

"Drinks on the house." The bartender, who probably heard everything, throws them a sympathetic look. It makes the devils feel even worse.

The whole thing started innocently. One day Meredith felt a bit dizzy while sipping her decaf at CAROOKIE, so Caroline took care of her. They started to spend more and more time together, picking up clothes for the baby, talking about back pains, nausea, and all that preggo business. Step by step, almost imperceptibly, their time for Kol and Klaus was shrinking like socks in the wash, to be finally limited to (sexless) nights only.

It doesn't take long for Kol to slip into an existential crisis.

"The worst thing is, I know what this kid will go through." He props his head on both hands, staring into his glass of Jack. "All the time in minority, feeling different, being a recluse. Been there, done that." There are days when Kol still seemz unable to get over his past and childhood marked by rejection and loneliness.

"You forgot to add being one of the most powerful creatures on the planet." Klaus raises his eyebrows at Kol.

"No matter how powerful I might be, I was in the minority and it sucked. You can be the most powerful creature on the planet and still feel utterly alone like I did. "

(\o/)

Not only Klaus and Kol struggle with some December blues.

Elena is lying on the bed waiting for Elijah. She's spent a lot of time looking for the right thing to wear. And by thing she means lacy red lingerie. They are supposed to go out tonight, but Elena thought a bit of spontaneity wouldn't hurt anyone. Besides, who would be so stupid to turn down his half-naked girlfriend waiting for him in their bedroom.

The door opens and Elijah gets in putting a pair of designer cufflinks on. He sends Elena a quizzical look.

"I thought we could stay in for tonight." She purrs and stretches out her arms and legs, arching her back in a very suggestive manner. Elijah blinks twice like she's just told him a very confusing joke.

"We are leaving in ten minutes. I can't even imagine us being late. It's Rigoletto, Elena. Please, dress up my dear." He scolds her like a little girl and exits the bedroom in search for a proper tie. He has over two hundred of them, it always gives him a headache to decide which one to wear.

Elena falls back on the bed exhaling with frustration. So much for spontaneity tonight, or any other day for that matter. She flinches at the thought of the other day when she suggested they could go to the movies. Movies! Elijah laughed for a minute, so she laughed with him, and then he said, NO. Cinema is for peasants.

She loves her highbrow, classy boyfriend, but she's an angel that has never seen the world, and living like a princess, going to sophisticated balls, cocktail parties, operas, and theatre plays isn't exactly the life she wanted. She wanted to be among normal people, not sitting in a fancy cage.

With a sigh, she opens an antique, mahogany wardrobe. Dolce, Chanel, or Gucci?

(\o/)

Rebekah and Stefan are spending this winter in the Big Apple with Elijah and Elena. Rebekah can't decide what to do with an excess of free time. She's torn between setting up a fashion blog and becoming a famous fashionista, and taking the designer business in her own hands. Yes, she had too many re-runs of the Devil Wears Prada. When they stop for a coffee, after Rebekah's harping on about Vogue and its latest photoshoot involving Madonna ("How old is she anyway? Did she make a deal with one of my brothers or what?") she finally voices her concern for Stefan.

"What's wrong? You seem upset." She puts down her cup with mocha and locks her eyes with his.

"Nothing's wrong." He shrugs and musters a tight, fake smile. "Actually, it's my happy face." He sulks in an incredibly uncomfortable armchair. How can people sit for hours in Starbucks, he grimaces as he fidgets in his seat, this coffee isn't even that good. The coffee shop is full of Christmas decorations, colorful tree lights, and it smells of cinnamon all around them.

"Come on, Stefan. You know I always know when you're lying to me." Well, it doesn't take too much of genius to figure out Stefan's not in a merry mood. He looks down at his cup of espresso macchiato that tastes like Caroline's burnt cookies, and lets out a sigh.

"It's just Christmas. It feels... weird. I might even risk a statement that I would like to join the club."

Rebekah pouts. "But aren't you technically banned from the club? Besides, we do not celebrate it. It's religion, Stefan. Stay away from it. We did not invent this."

"I know, but every one is happy, people spend time with their families exchanging gifts and there's so much good will around. I think nobody is excluded."

"There is so much love around for, like, three days, and then people go back to hating others." She points out and takes a sip of her coffee.

"I thought we could have Christmas dinner, buy some presents, give in to the Holiday mood." He ventures although he knows it's a lost battle.

"What do you expect me to do?" She huffs, irritated. For some reasons Stefan's comment seriously irked her nerves. "Maybe I should send a Christmas card to my beloved Papa and forgive him for sticking a dagger in my heart? What do you think, huh? Welcome to the Magic of Christmas! After my dead body!"

"I was just feeling sentimental, that's all." Stefan sulks even more staring at his half-empty cup of nasty coffee.

(\o/)

After work Caroline goes straight to Meredith, and when she finally gets back home late at night, Klaus is halfway through a bottle of red wine. Alcohol is his only friend during lonely evenings that seem to drag on and on forever. She finds him sprawled on the couch with the bottle in his hand, his feet resting on a small coffee table in front of him.

Too angry at her for neglecting him, Klaus doesn't mince his words. "When, pray tell, are you going to stop playing a good Samaritan?"

"What are you talking about?" She stops in her track frowning at him.

"I'm talking about your taking Kol's place in Meredith's life. Don't you think he should be the one to take care of her?"

"But Kol is totally lost, while she needs somebody strong, somebody to depend on." She says matter-of-factly.

"If he's to be a father, he has to get used to his new duties. Your constant presence is, to put it lightly, hindering the process."

"I am helping him!" She protests, hurt by being criticized by Klaus for her good intentions. Little does she know what road to Hell is paved with.

"No." He shakes his head, gets up from the couch, and walks towards her, his walk a little unsteady. Towering over her, he says, "It's Kol's task to figure out how to put himself together. Especially now."

Caroline doesn't respond, she just stands there, defiantly looking away from him. She feels his hands wrapping around her waist and pulling her closer, her head resting on his chest. Klaus rocks slowly back and forth, humming into her ear, stroking her hair, resting his forehead against hers.

"Why don't we spend some quality time together? Hmm?" He murmurs as his fingers creep up her stomach and stop between her breasts playing with the button of her shirt. His lips are hovering over hers ready for a kiss, but then Caroline gently pries his fingers off her as she says,

"It's your task to figure out why we won't."

And she leaves him standing stupefied in the living room.

(\o/)

The cross-cultural conflict reaches its boiling point when Caroline comes up with an idea of spending Christmas in New York. All of them. Together.

It divides the family into two enemy camps. Team Grinch doesn't even want to hear about celebrating Christmas.

You must be out of your mind, Klaus snorts.

I find it highly inappropriate therefore impossible, Elijah states.

Not now, no way, Kol grimaces.

Rebekah just throws her shoe at Stefan.

So Team Christmas decides to celebrate on their own. It's the first Christmas on Earth for Caroline, Stefan, and Elena, and they want it to be perfect, like in a movie. They choose New York, of course, because there is no other city soaked with Christmas spirit like New York. Meredith joins them as well-maybe Kol doesn't feel like celebrating Christmas after his big transition, but for her it's been always a special time of the year, and she's not giving it up because her boyfriend is a whiny turncoat now.

(\o/)

After many you-are-not-going-anywheres and even more stop-packing-right-nows followed by Klaus brandishing a finger at her with a fine-go-but-remember-about-the-consequences threat Caroline leaves with Meredith to meet Elena and Stefan in New York. But it would be too easy if they went alone. Eventually, Kol and Klaus secretly stalk them Pink-Panther-style to the city.

It's snowing heavily in New York, and what's a better solution to icy cold weather than a randez-vous with Jack Daniels? An annoying Christmas song is playing over and over again in the bar. Really, Mariah?

Soon two more people sit down by their table, rolling their eyes at the festive atmosphere that reigns around them. Elijah and Rebekah both look rather gloomy, which gives the other brothers a reason to think they're not the only ones going through a rough path with their partners. Elijah takes a piece of paper that looks like a Christmas card out of his pocket and reads aloud, a cloud of quiet anger hanging over his head.

"Dear Elijah," he seethes through the gritted teeth, "I decided to spend Christmas with Caroline. Please understand me. I will be back soon. Enjoy the Broadway tonight. With love, Elena." He expectantly looks up at his siblings and slowly places the card on the table.

"You were lucky. Stefan just texted me. Not a single emoticon." Rebekah crosses her arms and glares at Klaus.

"Don't give me that look, Rebekah. It's not my fault."

"Of course it isn't. Like it wasn't your girlfriend's idea." She hisses.

"Maybe if Kol could be a man just once, she wouldn't have thought about this ridiculous meeting!"

They look at Kol who's been banging his head against the table for a while now, repeating, "I'm damaged goods. A crappy father. I will make a crappy father."

"Is he alright?" Elijah frowns. Kol stops and now lies still on the table with his hands on both sides of his head.

"Daddy blues." Klaus shrugs. The bottle they bought is almost empty, so he waves at a waitress to bring them another one. If they are going to solve the Christmas problem, they will need that.

"I should be with Meredith and little Spawn right now." Kol whines, sniffing. He's been drinking since they got to NY. He went through the funny phase, and the angry phase, and now he's experiencing the breakdown phase.

"Who's Spawn?" Rebekah cocks an eyebrow.

"Kol's kid."

Elijah shakes his head, sighs and takes the bottle the waitress has just brought. "Five minutes with you all and I really wish Elena was here. Staying with you is like riding merry-go-round all the time."

Kol burps, dizzy all of a sudden. "I know how you feel."

(\o/)

"What do you mean we can't cook here?" Caroline puts her hands on her hips, about to go all Xena on the hotel manager.

"It's a hotel, not a summer cabin by the lake. We cook for you, we cater to our guests' needs." A dull middle-aged man lectures her displaying high standards of etiquette. Elena flinches at his French moustache.

Team Christmas sigh in unison. Looks like they are doomed to spend Christmas without cultivating the tradition of preparing meals together, but it won't discourage them from relishing the Christmas spirit. Caroline still feels a bit cheated. She wanted to go on a baking spree, she spent hours to pick the best recipes, and now all her effort will go to waste.

The hotel isn't to their taste much, and it's not about decorations or quality. It just doesn't feel like home. There is plenty of strangers everywhere, all brought to New York by the same wish of spending Christmas in the city that never sleeps. It doesn't feel special, being among other tourists that accidentally inhabit the same space for a short period of time. It doesn't feel like family.

It's still around noon, and they have a lot of time till Christmas dinner is served, so Team Christmas ventures into the streets on a sightseeing mission.

"Whoa, Time Square is really as crowded as it is shown on TV." Caroline's jaw drops. People are swarming around, the lights are blinding them dulling their sense of direction. Caroline feels like she's suffocating, and for a second she wishes Klaus was here with her so she could hide in his arms like she always does when she feels crushed by the surroundings. Elena bites her lip, everything around them reminds her of Elijah. She's wondering if he went to the musical as he intended to. A faint, melancholic smile appears on her face.

They move on, and Meredith laughs at the Statue of Liberty, "Kol would try to peek under her robe, that's for sure." They all smile, thinking about possible reactions coming from their better—or rather worse—halves. Rebekah would just shrug, she's seen New York so many times nothing seem to impress her anymore, but she would drag Stefan along to see every landmark anyway. It's their never-ending competition: proving who knows the place better. Stefan's area of success is New Orleans, she's never beaten him there so far, but when it comes to New York, Rebekah just keeps surprising him every time.

A deep, pensive sadness embraces them as they stare at the monument.

(\o/)

They've been arguing for a few good hours, throwing accusations, curse words, and eventually even food at each other. Finally Kol slid under the table after Klaus punched him in the face stopping Kol's litany of grievances, and has remained there like in a safe haven. Rebekah launched at Klaus clawing at his face with her perfectly manicured hands, while Klaus tried to kick her off balance aiming at her knees. Elijah sits perfectly still until his eye twitches signaling his Great Wall of Patience has collapsed.

"Enough!" He pounds his fist against the table, rendering everyone speechless. This is a fatal dose of his siblings' company. No more.

"I don't care how it looks like, we're joining them for Christmas." He declares, which leaves Rebekah and Klaus petrified, and even Kol to scrambles off the floor and sends Elijah an incredulous look. "If we don't, I might just dagger you all."

His siblings pretend to argue and sulk a bit—old habits die hard—but eventually agree to wave a white flag.

"Do you even know what to do during Christmas?" Klaus sits down and reaches for the only glass of whiskey that didn't get broken in the fight.

"Perish the thought, brother. But Kol surely knows, considering his long stay on Earth."

"I don't." Kol rolls his eyes.

"Come on, Kol, spit it out." Rebekah growls.

Kol sticks his tongue out at her. "I really don't know. My mother was a pagan, okay? She worshiped Mother Earth while I grew up to be an atheist. Don't judge me."

Oh bugger, Elijah thinks as he slaps himself on the forehead.

"It can't be that difficult," Rebekah reasons, "all it takes is a research."

(\o/)

Four devils, troubled and confused, lean over the desk and look down at the list they've made.

"That's..." Elijah starts.

"Impressive." Rebekah says.

"Tick off the sleigh and the reindeer." Kol frowns. "We don't have time for that."

"I'm not wearing a red costume." Klaus warns. "And I'm not carrying presents in a sack either.''

The others look at him peeved. It was supposed to be the biggest surprise, but Klaus stays unyielding to either threats or pleading. "No."

Elijah gives up. "Fine. We stick to a Christmas tree and gifts under it, mistletoe—"

"Yeah, gotta love mistletoe." Kol grins rubbing his hands.

"—and food."

"No carols." Rebekah demands.

"No carols."

"Bekah will decorate the apartment, Elijah gets the tree, and Kol and I will go get food from a restaurant." Klaus obviously loves barking orders.

"Your wish is my command, your majesty, and who's getting our guests?" Kol mocks him. Klaus brings a clenched fist to his nose and throws his brother a threatening glare.

A cunning smile spreads on Rebekah's lips. "Leave it to me."

Decking the halls isn't as easy as it seemed. Finally Elijah decorates the Christmas tree with his ties, because he finds the ornaments Kol bought too dinky. It's a tree, not a street lamp, Elijah says. Rebekah almost falls off the ladder while hanging up the mistletoe.

''People actually kiss under this? Yuck.'' She makes a face. Humanity and its ridiculous, crazy ideas. There's many things you could kiss under, but why bother when you have a plant that absorbs nutrients from another plant. You could just as well kiss under a leech or a vampire, what's the difference?

''Do you know some people believe that animals can talk on Christmas Eve?'' Elijah keeps browsing through various websites.

''Really? Too bad Kol's a nonbeliever, he would keep his trap shut for the rest of the year.'' She ticks the mistletoe off the list. There's still some things to take care of, but they're getting closer to finishing the preparations.

''And why do you have to hang stockings above the fireplace?'' Rebekah pouts. ''Is this some kind of weird fetish or something? And what if they catch fire? I don't want my favourite silk stockings to get burnt.''

Kol has no idea what kind of food people eat for Christmas dinner, and when Klaus suggests something Italian, a restaurant chef burst out laughing right in their faces, earning a punch from Klaus as a result. Of course they get kicked out by the security officers.

''Screw you right in your pudding!'' Kol yells getting up from the pavement, receiving indignant glares from the passers-by. He doesn't feel even a tad bit merry.

(\o/)

Caroline and the others are on their way back to the hotel, none of them really eager to chat. Somehow the jolly season isn't affecting them in the way they thought it would. They all just smile while looking at their friends, and they go back to brooding.

It was supposed to be a joyful Christmas adventure in New York City, but somehow nobody feels in the mood. The worst thing is, Caroline feels like it's all her fault. She made their friends fall out with their loved ones, because she thought she'd teach Klaus a lesson on compromising. Looks like he's quite immune to good intentions though.

As they wait for an elevator to come down, they hear a phone ring, I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world, life in plastic, it's fanta

"Rebekah." Caroline picks up.

She sees Stefan mouth, offended, "Barbie Girl? Really?"

"Meredith has the same ring for her!" Caroline hushes him, and when Stefan looks at Meredith she just shrugs being caught red-handed.

"What? Wait—Okay, calm do—Bekah. Bekah? Bekah!" She tries to catch Rebekah, but Klaus' sister has hung up already.

"What happened?" Stefan frowns, his voice gets stuck in his throat.

"Something's wrong. She sounded horrified. We have to get to Elijah's apartment, like, now.''

Stefan doesn't even hesitate and rushes down the hall, the rest following him with worried faces and a bad feeling.

(\o/)

Rebekah hangs up and turns to her brothers that stand looking at her in awe, a winner's grin on her face.

"You put up quite a show." Kol nods slowly.

"What do you think I do to make Stefan do my bidding?" She wiggles her eyebrows.

"Well, sex would be my first guess."

"You underestimate the power of emotional blackmail, little brother."

Klaus and Elijah hold back a smile.

(\o/)

Stefan doesn't bother to knock and just kicks the door open. He storms into Elijah's apartment with Caroline and Elena running after him. Meredith can't run, so she patiently pushes the button and waits for the elevator. She remembers she can't get stressed, not now, but she involuntarily worries anyway. It does feel weird that something unexpected happened and Kol didn't even call her. It's sown the seeds of anxiety in her heart. For the sake of their baby she tries to keep her breathing steady and does everything she can not to nurse gloomy thoughts. When the elevator hits tenth floor, she hurries towards the open door and joins the gang standing in the doorway.

She gasps, as did the rest of them just a minute ago.

There's a Christmas tree in front of them shining with lights and... wait, are those Elijah's ties? And the walls are decorated with paper chains. They find themselves surrounded by green and gold and red, all blending into a cozy, warm glow that harmonizes with wooden surrounding. The members of Team Christmas frown. What is this magic?

They split to look for their partners. Stefan finds Rebekah in her room. She's standing with her hands folded in front of her, like she was a little girl about to recite a poem during a memorial.

He stops in the doorway and helplessly spreads his arms. "What's going on?"

"I was just feeling sentimental." Rebekah bites her lower lip anxiously waiting for his reaction. She doesn't have to wait much as Stefan takes her into his arms and spins around, earning a squeal from his girlfriend.

(\o/)

Elena knocks on Elijah's bedroom door and when she hears nothing, she gently pushes the door that open with a creak. She comes further into the room, but Elijah is nowhere to be found—

—till someone embraces her from behind and a pair of hot lips claim her neck. Elena laughs and turns to face Elijah, who looks so damn smug, obviously content with his surprise attack.

"You should be packing." He smiles mysteriously.

"And why is that?"

"I have a surprise for you. We're leaving tomorrow. I really wanted to get us on a plane with peasan—I mean people, normal people, but all the tickets were already booked."

"Why would you do that?" Elena can't believe her own ears.

"You might have sent me a message that was intended for Caroline's eyes." He says cautiously, and Elena covers her mouth with her hand. She did send a very angry, grumpy message about her boyfriend being stiff the wrong way. Yes, she did express it so. Elena swallows hard, her cheeks getting red. "But before you start to apologize, let me say you were right. I might have been a little too... starchy."

Elena's eyebrows go up so high there's little room for them on her forehead. Elijah is definitely in the mood for surprising her.

"So you can choose the destination, and I promise we'll be doing whatever you want. We can go to every cinema we find in our way, and we can even choose a cheap hotel if you insist on living among pe...ople, normal people. Yes." He looks into her eyes searching for some kind of a sign. Does she like the idea? Does she hate it? However, he stops wondering when Elena's lips crash into his.

(\o/)

Kol and Meredith stand in the kitchen. Not that Kol doesn't have his own room at Elijah's, it's just Meredith's cravings that force them to stay where they stay. Pickles with whipped cream have just beaten Lay's with Nutella she had the other day.

There's a lot about pregnancy that scares Kol, most of it being a tiny little satan in there that seemed to enjoy weird meals and mood swings, but it's the first kid in the family and maybe even the only one considering angels don't procreate. It really means something, so he should ditch the images he's been carrying in his mind, visions taken straight from the Exorcist, the Omen, or Devil's Advocate. (There was a time Kol would puff his chest and boast that Spawn would rule the world, but Meredith said it herself that she would never let their kid go to Law School.)

They have their differences when it comes to parenting, but it's that strange paradoxical love that keeps them from falling apart.

"I really want to be your hero, your Captain America or something, but I can't." Kol says, knitting his eyebrows together in a grimace. He's evil, and even though he's having a hard time right now, soon he'll be back to snapping at people, and maybe even attacking poor old ladies in dark alleys. (He flinches at the thought, because they do have an awful taste.) But being evil is one thing, and being a father is something completely different. As crazy as it sounds, for Kol they aren't mutually exclusive.

"I've been always more of a Loki's girl, you know." She lets out a little laugh. He really doesn't have to change, Meredith just wants him by her side, that's all.

"I know I suck at parenting now, but I promise you, I promise, I won't let you and little Spawn down." He goes on and on, and doesn't notice that Meredith suddenly flinches.

"And I'll be there for you—"

"Kol—"

"—and even though I've never had a father figure—"

"Kol!" She grabs onto the kitchen counter.

"—please Mer, let me finish—"

"Kol, I think—" She bends over clutching onto her belly.

"I promise I'll read all the books in the world about parenting and stuff—"

"Oh no."

"—and I will never let Spawny drink, smoke, or gamble."

Then Meredith lets out a piercing scream. Kol stands there speechless and astounded.

"Kol, I think it's started!

(\o/)

Caroline heads to Klaus' bedroom, and she checks herself out in the mirror that hangs in the hallway before she gets in. For a reason unknown even to her, when she puts her hand on the doorknob, Caroline's heart flutters like it was their first date (which, technically, they never had). She feels excitement building in the pit of her stomach, some kind of thrill. She opens the door and sees Klaus, in a suit and a white shirt with a few upper buttons undone, leaning back against the window.

"Good evening." His voice is as seductive as his stare aimed at her, and Caroline can't help but gasp when chills run down her spine. She shudders as blood starts pumping in her veins, but her inner control freak doesn't let Klaus be in charge so soon.

"Wow." She crosses her arms, trying to play tough. "Mr. Grinch Grinchelson finally gives in to the magic of Christmas."

A wave of heat jolts through her when Klaus pushes himself off the window and in a few confident strides closes the gap between them. He tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear, his fingers brushing gently against her flushed cheek, and leaning forward he whispers, "I'm pretty sure it's all your charm, love."

It takes her less than a second to grab the collar of his shirt and pull him into a passionate, ardent kiss. It's so good to feel his face against her face again. To hell with control, she thinks while his hands run up and down her back. Somewhere in the corner of her mind there's a thought that maybe she was too harsh to him. Maybe she did neglect him.

"I'm so sorry," she pants out while he's peppering her neck with hot wet kisses, "I shouldn't have—"

"Shhh." He hushes her not taking his lips off her skin. There was too many words and too little action lately. All Klaus wants is to restore their relationship to its former balance. And for him to do that, Caroline needs to stop talking for once.

That's not true that the only solution to a problem is a deep, meaningful conversation.

Sometimes a passionate sex is more successful.

With one swift movement he grabs her butt and lifts her up, her legs wrapping around his waist in the process, and they land on the bed, the mattress sags under their weight.

"Wait." Caroline huffs, even though Klaus doesn't pay much attention to it. He keeps sucking at her collar bone, trailing circles with his tongue. "There's an oven in Elijah's kitch—oh heavens please don't stopkitchen, it means I can—yes, more—bake cookies."

"Caroline, love," his teeth graze the delicate surface of her milky-white skin, "please stop talking." She arches her back, molding into his form, giving him more access to the zipper of her dress, so he can free her from the beautiful yet so redundant right now piece of clothing. Her French nails tear into the fabric of his shirt then her fingers slide down to the small of his back, pulling the shirt out of his pants and creeping under it to revel in the feeling of his bare skin under her finger tips. Her touch makes him groan and quicken his actions. His hips grind into hers and oh yes she does feel he missed her like crazy. He makes it more than obvious. His hands travel up her thighs squeezing them, and Caroline moans as she feels his tongue sweeping over her skin between her breasts. He knows it's her weak point, so he buries his head into her chest and a proud smirk plays on his lips when she grabs at his locks and massages his scalp.

"Oh my... Yes." She fights for breath while propping her feet on his back, locking him in a tight embrace of her long, slim legs. He wins the fight he was having with the stubborn zipper of her dress and is about to pull it down when the bedroom door bursts open.

"Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! Gu—FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" Kol immediately turns around and covers his eyes. Not that he minds a bit of a show, of course not, but there are more pressing matters at hand. Both Caroline and Klaus spring up from the bed, the angel's trying to zip up her dress with one hand while keeping it up against her chest with the other.

"Have you gone mad, Kol?" Klaus growls.

"It's started, Klaus!" Kol whimpers. "Spawn is coming!"

(\o/)

The hospital hallway is decorated with evergreen and there's even a mistletoe some horny doctors hung up to hit on the nurses. Kol's pacing in circles, Elijah's tapping his finger against his knee, Elena and Caroline are doing a list of names for the kid, because—no matter what Kol says—Spawn is definitely NOT a good name. Rebekah and Stefan fell asleep on the couch across the hallway, and Klaus is counting to infinity in order not to punch Kol in the face once again. It's been hours now, and Kol's freaking out even though a nurse tells him it's a totally normal thing.

"The process of normal human childbirth is categorized in three stages of labour," Kol reads aloud from a leaflet that's lying on a small table in the corner, "the shortening and dilation of the cervix, descent and birth of the infant, and birth of the placenta. EWWWWWW!"

Rebekah wakes up, and groans, "If you don't shut your mouth, the next thing to come out of it will be your teeth!"

"But there are pictures and everything here. Ugh." Kol's face contorts with revulsion. His sister doesn't have time to respond as the door from labour ward open and a grey-haired man with a white coat stained with blood comes out. All of them (except Stefan who's still asleep and snoring lightly) stand up straight eagerly waiting for good news.

"Congratulations. A perfectly healthy boy." The doctor says, patting Kol on the arm. Kol is so shocked he just nods with a goofy smile on his face while doctors continues, "A pair of lovely little horns on the head, a pitchfork tail, and two tiny hooves." Kol stops smiling and stares absently at the man.

"Wait, what?" He mumbles before fainting and falling to the floor with a loud THUD. Klaus would catch his little bro, but he prefers to just move aside and let Kol hit the ground. (Don't look at him like that, Kol had it coming.)

Everyone gapes at the doctor, and then Klaus pulls a wad of dollars out of his pocket and gives it to him.

"Thank you, doc."

"Merry Christmas." The doctor-prankster grins and walks away, giving them a salute.

"I must say," Elijah says when the first shock wears off, "I am proud of you, Niklaus."

Caroline just shakes her head, but laughs at unconscious Kol anyway. As if on cue, Stefan wakes up and rubs his sleepy eyes.

"What did I miss?"

Rebekah smiles taking him by the hand, "Christmas just got truly merry."

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Merry Christmas my dear readers!