Summary: Michelle Simms wasn't good with kids, she never wanted kids, but now she felt responsible for one.
"I've got stuff I'm dealing with…you wouldn't understand" - Sasha Torres - Bunheads S01E09
Boo walked down the sidewalk, she didn't really have a lot of time she had to be work at soon but she needed to see if Sasha was okay. She stopped by the soccer field after school and was told that Sasha quit cheerleading. She wanted to ask her if that meant she was coming back to ballet. She tried calling, Sasha wasn't answering her phone.
She started walking up the Torres' drive when she heard glass shattering. Tentatively she walked closer and now she could hear shouting and screaming along with more things breaking. She heard Sasha's voice between her parents. She didn't know what to do, she was frozen on their door step and it only seemed to be getting louder and noisier.
Suddenly the door swung open making her fly backwards into the pillar next to her. Sasha stormed outside and was just as startled as she was. "Boo, what are you doing here?" she yelled.
Boo saw that Sasha was breathing heavily and her eyes and face were puffy with whips of tears still evident on her face. Boo opened her mouth but no sound came out as Sasha's grey eyes bored into hers.
The noise in the house had increased exponentially now that the door was open. Sasha looked back inside and shut the door. She looked back again when something crashed against the closed door and shattered, making Boo jump back even further.
Sasha closed her eyes and looked away. "What are you doing here, Boo?" she asked again, standing tall and slipping into the mask she wore so well.
Boo was still rattled by all the loud noises and breaking things and Sasha's cold glare wasn't helping matters either.
"Spit it out, Boo. I don't have all day"
"I…I wanted to…see if you….were…okay" she finally managed to find her voice.
"Okay" Sasha repeated. "I'm always okay." she said smiling but in a tone that sounded like ice had just frozen everything in its path.
Sasha's parents were always fighting; it just seemed to be getter worse. Because she no longer remembered a time when she was at Sasha's house when they weren't fighting. "Um…do you want to stay at my house?"
"I really don't need your perfect mother and perfect family shoved down my throat right now" People loved talking about her family and they all didn't really get the concept of whispering since she could hear them. They talked about her dad and Timothy, they talked about her mother pretending nothing was going on; they talked about how bad they felt for her. She was sick of it. She didn't need to hear the whole town discussing her life.
Boo was taken aback, Sasha thought her family was perfect? Sasha's parents fought, but she had so much else going for her, she was beautiful, thin and rich She had the perfect ballerina body and the talent to match it. People fawned over her; Fanny was going crazy without her. She only wanted to have one of those things, who wouldn't. It never crossed her mind that Sasha was jealous of her. She had nothing to be jealous about. "They're not…"
"Don't" Sasha interrupted her as her grey eyes pierced into hers. She knew what she was going to say. She always watched Boo and her mother, that's how mothers and daughters were supposed to act. You're supposed to be able to joke and laugh with them. She felt the tears forming in her eyes. No, she wouldn't cry for that woman, she didn't deserve her tears. "Your mother may be flighty, but she cares. Mine wishes I was never born"
"That's not true" Boo said almost immediately.
"It is, she told me that" Sasha replied with a bitter smile, then turned her head away so Boo couldn't see her.
"Sasha" was all Boo could say, she didn't know what to else to say to that. Her mother didn't mean it, right? She couldn't, she was her mother, mothers are supposed to love their children. Boo timidly walked closer to her. She saw her hands touch her face to wipe away the tears.
Boo reached out and gently placed her hand on Sasha's back.
Sasha's mouth formed a thin line as she tried not to make a sound and collect herself. "I don't want your pity, I'm fine" she said icily moving away from her. She looked back as Boo stood there with her hand frozen in the air where she used to be. Sasha closed her eyes and sighed. "Do you need a ride to work or something?"
The sudden change in her composure and tone was jarring. Boo was speechless so she just nodded her head.
As they drove to the Oyster Bar in silence Boo knew she was trying to help, but she always seemed to make it worse. Why was she always doing that?
Sasha pulled up in from the restaurant. "Aren't you going to be late?" She asked when Boo didn't move to get out of her car. Boo turned to look at her. "I'm fine, okay. Now get out" she told her with a smile.
Boo sighed she knew that smile, it wasn't her happy one, if she said anything more Sasha would just get mad and yell at her. So she reluctantly opened the door and got out. She stood on the sidewalk as Sasha peeled out of the restaurant lot and sped down the street.
The next day at school Sasha bounced in wearing a tight black tee-shirt and jeans. She was all smiles and being super friendly she even started flirting with a couple of the football players.
"She doesn't even have boobs and guys respond to her" Melanie said looking back at Sasha.
"It's like she's got this magnetic force field surrounding her and you can't help but be drawn in" Ginny replied as they both stared at Sasha giggling with the football players. "Or maybe it's a spiderweb?"
"Cheerleading really helped her giggle" Melanie quipped.
Ginny and Melanie were just grateful it was one of her good days. But Boo was still worried, there was something else going on. She tried to look for her after school but couldn't find her. She walked into to the studio hoping to see her there, she even hoped she'd walk in late, but she didn't. She had to work right after class. She knew Sasha was hurting no matter how many times she said she was okay. Even when it was only for a split second she could see her facade slip and it had been doing that more and more and then she'd just get angrier. She just didn't want Sasha to do something she couldn't come back from. She couldn't keep that all inside; if she couldn't talk to her, she needed to talk to someone.