AN: This is a story in which FTL does not exist… it worked out better as I wrote…

The wind's direction had changed in the middle of the storm. Regina saw the neighbors God awful windmill with a chicken on it completely change course in the middle of a lightning strike that lit up the entire sky.

For some reason hope filled within her chest, but she didn't understand why…

As soon as it was there though, it vanished.

She walked from her window to her bed and curled up onto the black Egyptian cotton. The wind had been terrible this entire storm, if she didn't know any better, she'd think she was in Kansas or Oklahoma in the midst of tornado season. The sounds of the wind against her window only made her curl up in bed tighter.

There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window

She held onto the extra pillow on the bed and thought of her son… Henry was in his second year at college. He chose a college clear across the country… he chose it to get away from them… He wasn't surprised when he got the call and she told him that she and Emma broke up. He told her that he had to study and that was that…

That was that…

That's how the break-up went as well. They'd gone on a picnic one afternoon in hoped of rekindling…. Something— anything.


Emma turned to her as she took a bite of her sandwich, "I'm leaving you, Regina. I'm done."

Six words. Simple words.

And with the simplicity of the words, Regina turned away and sipped on a water bottle, "Fine."

Emma stared at her. She knew what the blonde was waiting for… tears, sadness. Something to tell her to stay and fight. But she couldn't give her that. Instead she closed her eyes and looked up to the sun. She didn't know how they'd got to the point that they were at. And she didn't know why she wasn't fighting for her…

There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever

"You're really not gonna do a damn thing?! You're really not going to fight? You? You'd get in a fist fight with the kid that works on the sandwich shop for putting too much or too little mayo on your bread and you can't even… bat a fucking eye to tell me to stay?" Emma was yelling at her as she gathered her suitcases and pushed them into the hall.

Regina looked at her from her vanity, "Some things just… aren't worth fighting for." She turned back to her mirror quickly. Had she not, Emma would have seen the tear fall from her eye, as it was, the blonde could only see the stoic dry side of her face in profile.

"Fine." Emma seethed as she stuffed a few more things in a bag then stalked into the hall. Her feet pounded on each stair, her anger resonating with each thump.

And then the door slammed and everything went quiet and calm.

It was as if Regina were in the eye of a storm. She simply looked into the mirror further and wiped her tear stained face. Her life quickly turned to the life it had been pre-Emma Swan… and pre-Henry Mills-Swan… he'd wanted to take his birthmother's name as well after they got married and Regina changed her name.

The only thing that was different from 18 years before and the next day was Regina having to make a trip to change her name back to 'Mills' (no hyphen Swan). Everything was as it was supposed to be. The town was running smoothly, the townsfolk were scared—as they should have been before, and she had no family—as it should have been the whole time.

I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made

Regina sat up in her silk pajamas and pulled the pillow she'd been hanging onto into her lap. She started tracing patterns on it just like she'd trace patterns on Emma's back when they were talking before bed… The talking would always seem to stop and soon, it was just be Emma's back and her fingers.

Generally, even from the very beginning, Emma would turn her head, blonde curls flying everywhere so they could both see into each other's eyes. She pop up on all fours to turn and straddle Regina. She'd prop the many pillows (for décor and actual bed use) behind the brunette's back, push her into them and then begin stroking the brunette's face.

Regina, no matter the type of stress, or not even knowing she had been stress, would melt as she felt their body's pressed together and the blonde's nimble fingers running over her cheeks and forehead and nose and chin. She'd feel her hands begin running up and down the blonde's thighs.

Eventually she would open one eye to see if Emma was even paying attention to what she was doing, and then she'd hear that laugh… Her other eye would open and she'd push forward.

They would always hold onto each other and neither would really let go, they would only resituate so they could lay down and fall asleep.

But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
Its so hard to believe but
It's all coming back to me
It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now

The day Emma had proposed was the brightest day in Regina's entire life. It even beat out the day that Henry was put into her arms the first time… and that was a hard thing for the brunette to admit. It probably would have been the other way around if it had gone in a different order, but the day that Emma proposed… it was like Regina's life was complete.

She would have happily died then and there.

It had been a rather calm day in Storybrooke. Emma walked into her office and threw an envelope on her desk, "Came to the station by mistake."

Regina looked down at it, "There's no address or postmark on it."

"Is that right?" Emma asked with a grin as she squatted next to the mayor at her desk, "Well, I still think you should open it… see what's inside."

"Al…right…" She knit her brows at the blonde and opened it to find a very simple, very elegant, very Regina goldbanded, princess cut diamond ring inside. She looked over at Emma with surprised written clearly on her face to find the blonde had already shifted so one knee was down.

"I love you." She wouldn't look at the brunette… neither of them did emotions well and when Emma was trying to convey something important, she never looked Regina in the face to begin with. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you… I want a family. I don't think it was a mistake or God playing a joke on us that you adopted Henry… I think we're supposed to be together." She finally looked at her, "Will you marry me?"

Regina immediately pulled Emma in for a kiss, and that night… Well, Henry was just glad that he was staying with Nicholas because his moms had been kissing on each other the whole evening… They always seemed to like embarrassing him in front of his friends. They always got mushy and that's just… revolting when you're twelve, for your parents to still have feelings for each other.

Oh they did love embarrassing Henry… and they loved each other… and they didn't care who knew. But that night… that night that they made love with that ring on Regina's finger… it was unlike anything either woman had ever experienced.

Regina let tears fall as she thought about every breath of ecstasy, every caress, every kiss, every lick and nip and suck, every bead of sweat, and every time their hands clung to each other. She pulled the pillow tighter to her as the storm worsened and she could almost smell Emma again.

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow

Regina leaned into the headboard of her king sized bed. Thinking about the night of their engagement led her to think about other nights. Her favorite memory of the two of them in bed wasn't a holiday or an event of any kind.

They'd gotten married and been called 'the Mills-Swans' for a few years at that point. It was just… a random night.

Regina was leaning into Emma as she leaned against their headboard. They were watching old reruns of Designing Women.

Julia had just finished her amazing speech of the episode and Emma raised her hand as if in a church while singing gospel music, "Amen, Julia Sugarbaker, may you rest in peace!" Regina knit her brows and gave her a questioning look, "Dixie Carter's dead, baby… ergo, Julia Sugarbaker must be dead as well." She said as she leaned into Regina and kissed her temple.

"Well… that's quite sad. She's an amazing woman, and gives a great speech."

"I know one other brunette that wears business dresses and wears big glasses that might give her a run for her money…" Emma spoke quietly. She had a grin in her tone.

Regina turned to her, "Does she happen to be your wife?"

"She does indeed." Emma nodded.

Regina turned and kissed Emma full on. Soon they found themselves in a horizontal position with a lot less clothing than when they originally got ready for bed. Emma kissed up the brunette's bare sternum all the way up her neck to her ear, "You are the most beautiful person I've ever seen… and I mean that in every way that statement can be taken." She pulled from the brunette and stared in her eyes.

Baby baby

If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that

Regina got up from her bed at that memory. She took to pacing to keep from crying. She ran her hand through her hair and looked out at that stupid chicken once more, blaming it for all of her thoughts. She covered her mouth to soften the gasp that she knew was about to come from her body.

It was lost long ago
But it's all coming back to me

Regina remembered the time she was most vulnerable. Their wedding night. Everything had already changed. And she'd willed it to happen. She never fell asleep after they'd made love that night. She sat up in the honeymoon suite, heart-shaped bed and looked out at the moon. Emma woke up sometime during her stare.

The blonde kissed her naked spine up to her shoulder, "Come back to bed, Babe… You need to come back to bed because I need to make love to you again."

Regina smiled a small smile as she turned around, "You need to?"

"Yes, because if I don't you tend to get these big vulnerable eyes…" She trailed off and looked straight into Regina's soul. She shook her head, but held their stare, "Okay, you don't always get them, but you have them now… what's going on?"

"I'm afraid of the future…" Tears stained her face as she spoke, "I have fallen totally and completely. I will never be able to fall from it, Emma… I don't know what will happen if you realize you deserve better and you leave me."

"That's not gonna happen."

"It could happen… you don't know. No one knows." She turned from her.

Emma pulled her on the bed fully and kissed Regina's chest, just above her heart, "I know." She kissed it once more, "And I know that as long as you need me, I will need you… And there's nothing that can pull us apart for forever… Nothing."

If you want me like this
And if you need me like that

Regina looked to her vanity as she resumed pacing. She found a perfume bottle that she never used… Emma had given it to her a week before she told her she was leaving.

She heard the slamming of the door echoing in her mind again.

She grabbed it and ran down the hallway to balcony around the foyer and threw the bottle at the door. It shattered on impact and she found she was shaking from anger… at herself, at Emma, then at herself once more.

It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me

She sunk against the wall and still tried to stop the tears from flowing freely.

Its so hard to resist
And it's all coming back to me

She slammed her fists into the ground and screamed with everything she had.

I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
But it's all coming back

It was after this scream that she knew she couldn't hide from the tears, hide from her sadness anymore. She let them come. She pulled her knees up and hugged them as she thought about what led to Emma's departure.

Emma wanted to have another baby. She wanted to start from the beginning since she didn't get in on the parenting thing until Henry was ten.

… And Regina…


Wouldn't let that happen.

Emma would threaten to leave her and go have a baby with someone who shared her values if Regina wouldn't come around, but Regina would always laugh in her face, "Of course you won't darling because if you do that, then you will lose what little time you get to spend with our son… and don't forget about the many tongue lashings you would miss out on if you weren't here to claim them for yourself." She would always say with a disgusting amount of confidence.

It was one time though that Emma wouldn't let up… "Regina! I want a family!"

"Last time I checked you already had one!"

"I want another kid! Why is it so hard for you to accept?! Why don't you want another kid?!" She was angry, but Emma was playing with daggers as she spoke her next words, "Is it really because you that bad of a mother that Henry came to find me the first time?" She could see the hurt in Regina's eyes, but she continued on. She pushed the blades into the woman's chest, "Do you really think there will be a repeat event if I'm already here? I mean come on! What is it?"

Regina always gave better than she got, "The first one was a mistake to begin with. Look where it led me… I fell in love with his birthmother and gave her partial custody… Children are burdens." She looked her wife up and down, "They lead to bigger burdens." She spit all of it out like venom.

Emma shook her head with tears in her eyes, "You don't mean that."

"Think what you want. I don't want anymore kids. This conversation is over."

There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeper

After that particular fight… Their time together seemed to last forever. Breakfast felt like an all day event… it was probably twenty minutes out of both their days. They wouldn't speak to each other. They'd barely even glance at each other.

Regina would dive into her memory and try to find any other breakfast that could replace the ones that were happening… But she could only fixate on what was happening as well…

There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever

Regina looked down at the now perfume and glass covered door. She never had to see Emma to know what she looked like as she left. She watched the door slam repeatedly, each time Emma would turn and look up in hopes that she came… she never did.

Instead she stayed at her vanity. She told herself how things were going to be handled and that she wasn't going to say anything to anyone. She then picked herself up and got in her bed… and threw Emma's pillow across the room so she couldn't smell her.

The brunette rolled her eyes at herself. She should have come running. She should have made a scene in the park. She should have just… she should have told Emma that everything she thought, and thought was ridiculous, was how she felt in truth. It never should have escalated like it did.

But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow

She heard the handle of the door through the storm. At first she though she was going to have to hide for cover, but as she looked she saw a very bundled blonde heap ungracefully make her way into her house and put her entire body into shutting and locking the door once more.

Regina's jaw dropped.

And I never wasted any of my time on you since then

Her feet found the first stair and she stood up. She stood up and stared down at the blonde woman. Everything flooded back to her. Every thought, every dream, every touch, every kiss, every conversation… every fight. It was all back.

She couldn't move though. She wanted to reach out. She wanted to call Emma's name… run to her, hold her… Something! But she couldn't. She just… stood there and watched her with tear stained eyes. She watched in worry, in trepidation, in fear… and mostly, she watched in hope.

But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now

"What the hell?" Regina heard Emma mumble and saw her kick glass around as she moved her bags aside. She saw Emma take a whiff and decide that the perfume was way too much before she lost her latest meal in the pot that held a ficus.

She wiped her mouth and pulled some gum from her pocket before shrugging off her coats and hat and scarf and looking around.

Regina saw it then… the beginnings of a baby bump. She gasped audibly and Emma looked up startled.

"You don't get to throw us away." The blonde started as she walked up a couple stairs, Regina was still frozen… it seemed the gasp of surprise was all her body would allow before it shut down once more, "I know it's been a year, but I also know that you never even attempted to move on… Just like I never even attempted to move on. You don't get to throw us away.

"You can argue and scream and kick all you want, but I told you that as long as you needed me, I needed you too… and I promised you that we would never be apart for too long… I almost broke my promise, but I got here, alright? I'm here because I want you and you want me too. I can see it in your eyes, Regina… You can't throw us away…"

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things wed never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow

"Now… I know that I showed up here a year after I left. I know I showed up here knocked up and you're thinking I'm just a big ol' slut faced whore, but I didn't. I used a turkey baster… I was serious when I told you I never even tried to move on…" She stopped in front of the brunette, spit her gum back in its wrapper, and stared at her. "I want a family." She breathed out a ragged breath, "All my life that's all I've ever said. It's the only thing I asked Santa for; it's the only thing I ever prayed for. I want a family."

Emma smiled as she carefully reached out and took Regina's hand, "I knew the moment you first glared my direction and started threatening me that you were the woman I should spend the rest of my life with." She shrugged helplessly, "I mean, come on… you're the mother of my child… I love you." She moved her hand up to Regina's face, "I know you love me too. And I know, that no matter how much you try to shake me off and tell me that you don't want more kids, I know you do… So I had to leave for a while to get this stage of our life good and going… Because now you have no choice… Now you can't choose wrong."

Regina tried to pull away, or push Emma away, but the blonde just followed her and wrapped her arms around Regina's middle from behind and held her tight.

"I know that you want this. That's why you're so God damn scared!"

"I've moved on." Regina tried.

"No you haven't."


"No." Emma laughed… she had the gall to laugh in this moment.

Regina turned, her angry eyes flashed a lighter brown, "I don't know me anymore. You left me."

"Yeah and you didn't fight for me to stay." Emma said as she pushed the brunette against the closest wall and stared her in the eyes, "We're both at fault. And we're both going to own up… right now." She leaned in intoxicatingly close, "Fight for me."

Regina's chin began quivering as she looked into deep hazel. She stamped her foot in frustration of being so consumed by the woman before her, "Stay with me."

Emma grinned and leaned in closer to her ear to whisper, "Have another baby with me."

Regina closed her eyes, causing a tear to fall from either orb. She breathed raggedly as she slowly started nodding.

Emma leaned in and whispered again, "It's not gonna run away from you like Henry did…" She spoke softly, "Don't you understand that if he hadn't, we never would have been forced to put up with each other… and we never would have found this… connection that we have with one another…? I mean… don't you get that? Henry wasn't running from, Regina… he was running to… He needs us both just like this kid will need us both… just like we need each other…"

Regina swallowed the lump in her throat as the tension quickly melted into lust. She pushed off the wall and wrapped around Emma, kissing her hard, with everything she could muster… trying to convey every feeling she felt with Emma's departure, since Emma's departure, and now that she's back.

Baby, baby, baby

When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now

They made their way back to the bedroom, quickly shedding clothes as they went. They landed on the bed just like they had a hundred times before. All of the passion was still there… all of the fight was gone.

They stared into each other's eyes the entire time… Forgiveness.

Neither ever had to apologize and just like a year before, the only thing Regina did the next day was change her name so things could get back to normal… the real normal—the normal worth fighting for.

If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And it's all coming back to me

They'd decided to wait for Henry to come home for winter break to tell him about the baby. They had told him that they were working things out and that he was going to be surprised with them… Needless to say, he found that they weren't lying.

Emma had been thinking about her son's reaction one night as she was nearing the end of the pregnancy… she was actually supposed to have already ended it, but the baby just didn't want to come out. She thought about the surprised elation she saw, and the genuine happiness stay with him his whole trip.

She smirked as she walked in the door and rubbed her sore back after shedding her outerwear. "R'gina!" She yelled into the house.

"Go to the living room, darling, I'll be right there." She heard a call from the kitchen.

Emma closed her eyes as she walked into the living room and fell into the couch as gracefully as she could. She tried to reach for her shoes but it was no use.

Regina set two bowls of pasta on the coffee table before sitting at Emma's feet and taking her shoes off for her. She rubbed small circles on the first before moving to the next.

"Oh yeah!" Emma moaned happily. "Please get back to that after you release the other swollen nasty from its cage." She looked down to Regina with a pleading look.

Regina smirked and nodded, "Of course, my love."

Emma's eyes were closed, "I love you too." She mumbled sleepily.

Regina never thought that she would be in this position… rubbing her pregnant wife's feet as they tried to wait as patiently as possible for the over-cooked bun to come out the oven. She never thought that she'd have the opportunity to ever be here…

"Mmm, R'gina…?"

"Yes, darling?"

"I like you all over-protective and scurry-fied as you chase around for me and my overly swollen… body to pop out our kid… I like this nurturing side of you…"

"Well, I like the moody, brooding, angry, happy, lovely, swollen side of you… although the only thing that's different from normal is the fact that you're pregnant…" She joked.

"Hardy har, har." Emma opened one eye and stared down into brown eyes, "Just 'cause I like this side of you doesn't mean that the angry bitch that fights all the time has to go away…"

Regina smirked and laughed at the blonde, "I'll keep that in mind…"

When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see
Al coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me

I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now

Regina went to work the next morning, although she didn't really want to… Emma made her. She was into her second mug of coffee when her assistant came in.

"Mayor Mills?" The brunette looked up at her, "Emma called…"

Regina immediately stood up and headed for the door.

"She said that I needed to drive because you would forget things…"

"I will not forget things!"

The assistant looked down, "Um… you haven't got your keys, your purse or your coat, Ma'am…"

Regina stood there only a split second before she moved around her office to get her keys, her purse and her coat, "You should probably drive." She said as she gave the other girl her keys, who just stood there a bit shell shocked that Regina was actually doing what someone else told her to do, "Well are you going to stand there, or are we going to go pick my wife up and take her to the hospital?!"

"Yes ma'am!"

It took them approximately five minutes to get to the mansion. Emma was bringing her suitcase outside, and when she saw the car, she stayed put and rubbed her stomach as she waited.

"What are you doing?" Regina asked hurriedly, not waiting for the car to fully stop before she was out of it and walking toward her, "It's freezing out!"

"It's Maine…it's always freezing out." Emma started down the stairs, "Get my suitcase, will you?"

"Suitcase. Got it. You have everything in here?"

"Yes." Emma called as she slowly climbed in the back seat of the car.

Regina threw the small suitcase into the passenger's seat then crawled in the back with her wife. "We're having a baby…" She said quietly as the car backed out slowly.

"We're having a baby." Emma smiled.

After staring at the blonde then looking down at her stomach she whispered, "I almost missed this."

"But you didn't." Emma smiled, "You fought for me."

"I fought for you."

It's all coming back to me now
And when you kiss me like this
It's all coming back to me now
And when I touch you like that
It's all coming back to me now
If you do it like this
It's all coming back to me now
And if we...