One moment he is standing next to me, and the next thing I know, he's laying on the ground, bleeding. He took a bullet for the President.
I'll die if he dies. My heart will shatter into a thousand pieces and I'll never be able to put it back together again.
Or maybe I will. The living go on living, I heard Bae Man-duk say once. The prospect is so bleak and I quickly break away from that line of thought.
The rush of security and police and medical personnel is a blur as I stare into Lee Yoon-sung's face. I'm barely aware when I find myself in a hospital, being pulled out of an operating room by some well-meaning nurse and ordered into the waiting room.
He hung around me, to look out for me, until I no longer was sure how to live without him. Then, for my sake, he told me he was toying with me and he left. Then, because he cared for me, he asked me to stay. But then again, he told me to go, to protect me.
Itʼs all very stupid.
Heʼs infuriating and unfair and I love him, I think as I watch his chest rise and fall with thankfully steady breaths. Whatever happens now, heʼs alive and his revenge business is over, so Iʼm grateful.
I was sure I'd lost him forever when he took that bullet. Yoon-sung, however, is a master of dethroning my expectations. The bullet wound he received–-critical and life-threatening-kept him in bed for exactly two days. I had finally left his bedside to go home for some much needed sleep in an actual bed, and then next thing I know, he's peering down at me through the darkness and demanding that I get up to make him coffee.
I scream in surprise and sit up and yell at him, and his response is to act wounded and whine at me.
"I'm an injured man, Kim Na-na. You shouldn't be treating me so harshly."
To my surprise, I break down and cry instead of scolding him further.
"What are you doing out of the hospital?"
The boy who never lets his guard down sits beside me and gingerly wraps his arms around me in a rare tender gesture. I'm glad to see he's okay, but he really shouldn't be moving around yet. Idiot man.
"Bah, what's one more bullet?"
I don't even want ask how many more there were. Eventually I calm down, and I actually do get up to make him coffee. He follows me to the kitchen but I push him down into a seat at the table. The moron won't stop moving and be careful of his injury unless I force him to. I hand him his too-sweet instant coffee and sit down at the table.
"What are you going to do now?" I ask him.
He takes a sip of the coffee and grins happily.
"We are going to go on living, Bear Na-na. I thought you said you were waiting for me," he accuses.
"If you want to go on living, then you better get back into bed, Mister Lee."
Yoon-sung had said, after it was all over, that he just wanted to live a normal life. However, Yoon-sungʼs idea of normal is not the same as the average person's.
I'm his girl. It's so obvious to everyone that he's crazy about me that I can't help but laugh.
He's always doing or saying the wrong thing, but if I get even a little mad at him he falls over himself trying to right it. He'll probably never figure it out, but I can't find it in myself to care.
When he's doing something wild, jumping from a building's roof or sneaking into a restricted place, I ask him in frustration, "Yoon-sung, were you raised by ruffians?"
"Yes," he smirks at me.
It's endlessly surprising to see him as a dedicated boyfriend. His practiced persona of a heartless playboy is still in place, but I can see that all he's ever wanted is a stable life, a happy relationship. He pays more attention to me than I've seen any boyfriend do, all the while pretending to be aloof. He buys me gifts whenever he's out, cooks me breakfast each morning, calls me five times a day, and follows me around the house. It's utterly adorable.
We're both trying to figure out where our lives are going from here. The President has made sure that my job at the Blue House is secure, as a favor to Yoon-sung, I am sure, but I'm not sure I want to go back. There are too many difficult memories there, and it wouldn't be the same without Yoon-sung.