This movie is BEAUTIFUL. I cried like a baby. I have yet to read the book. I am loving writing this because I can look deep into the personalities of these characters because there is so much hidden that the movie really doesn't expand on.
This starts from the scene in Never Let Me Go (movie-verse) where Kat and Tommy take a walk into the forest looking area and talk about the possibility of a deferral between Ruth and Tommy.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Yada yada yada.
Tommy had always thought himself to be a sad, lost mess. The rest of his peers he had grown up with at Hailsham had always harassed him. He was prodded, and provoked, and goaded to completely erupt into the emotional wreck he was. They found Tommy's fits to be a delightful show.
Tommy had grown up fearful of others, never being able to speak on his own account on his feelings or opinions. His opinions, private thoughts, and likings were what most considered odd and unnatural; whoever he told automatically thought him weird, and questioned his ways of thinking. That was the very reason he had never submitted anything into the gallery at Hailsham.
He kept to himself, never speaking until spoken to. Tommy grew up to become much of the same person he was as a child. The only noticeable difference was that he hadn't thrown a fit in so long; not since he had been moved to The Cottages.
His eyes trailed over Kathy, the girl he had immediately felt something for from the moment she had shown the slightest concern for him that day he had thrown a fit. She was the only person who had never judged Tommy as others did. She was a pleasant comfort to Tommy.
"Chrissie and Rod are quite obsessed with those rumors, aren't they?" Tommy asked Kathy. His voice was just barely loud enough for Kathy, whom sat on a tree stump opposite of him, to hear.
Tommy found it so easy to talk to her. He never had fear of releasing his private thoughts, or speaking his opinion on a matter. She always listened.
"I suppose I would be too if I heard such a thing that we could put off our donations," Kathy nodded. She pulled her knit scarf tighter around her neck. It was awfully cold out.
Tommy picked at the leaves on the ground. "Do you think it's true?"
Kathy bit her lip. She wanted it to be true. Even if it was, she would have no one to apply for a deferral with.
She glanced at Tommy; he had Ruth, and she knew that, but she wished.
She wished upon every existing star she had ever seen in the dark night.
"I wouldn't think about it too much, Tommy. I wouldn't want to get my hopes up," Kathy told him grimly.
Tommy slipped his hands into the comfort of his coat pockets. His boots crushed dead leaves as he swayed slightly to the right. He let out a sigh, which showed a puff of white smoke that quickly evaporated in the cold air.
"If it were, Kat, would you apply?"
Kathy shook her head. "That would also imply that I was in love with someone."
"I would apply," Tommy paused, "If it were true."
Kathy looked up at Tommy. "With Ruth?"
She waited, staring at Tommy as he uncomfortably crossed his arms.
"It wouldn't work," he said softly.
"Why?" Kathy asked him.
She felt herself getting a small feeling of hope rising within her. She squashed it away quickly.
"They must have a reason for the Gallery," Tommy told her.
"A reason?" Kathy questioned.
Tommy nodded. "Yes. All the art, the sculptures, the poetry had to be collected for a reason."
"They used to tell us that it revealed our soul," Kathy told him.
Tommy took in a deep breath. "They could separate the liars from the lovers by looking into the Gallery. They would need our artwork, our drawings to look into our souls. That would surely tell them whether we were lying about being in love to get a deferral."
Kathy seemed to think about this theory for a short minute.
"I never submitted anything to the Gallery," Tommy quickly said.
Kathy gaped at him. "Nothing at all?"
Tommy shook his head.
"There also is another problem, Kat," Tommy said.
Kathy nodded, urging him to continue.
Tommy scratched his head with his gloved hand. He looked away from Kat's stare. He hesitated before speaking.
"I'm not in love with Ruth."
Kathy felt sadness swell up inside of her. This was not something she wanted to hear.
She should have been happy for she had always loved Tommy, but Ruth had always prevented the possibility of them ever being together. Still, as Tommy confessed his true feelings for Ruth, she felt grief stricken. She thought of what Ruth would think once she found out this news.
Ruth was going to surely be sad.
Kathy had wallowed in her own sorrow for so long. Much of her misery came from knowing the future that awaited her, and knowing she couldn't change it. She, like the rest who lived in the Cottages with her, strayed from the talk or thoughts about their futures. They knew how each of their futures ended.
The rest of her pain was from wishing to be with Tommy. She longed to comfort him. She knew who he truly was; she knew he must be worried about the future more than anyone else in the Cottages. She yearned to care for him, to make him feel at ease, as she knew Ruth never did such things.
She didn't wish sadness upon anyone.
"Tommy, that's a very serious thing to say. You two have been together for so long."
Tommy felt himself revealing all he had felt. It was an odd feeling for he had never done such a thing, but he could never control what he revealed when he was near Kathy.
She was a blessing to him.
"I don't think we were ever together. I believe it was just Ruth who was with me, not I with Ruth," Tommy calmly stated.
He thought back to the moment Ruth had kissed him unexpectedly. She walked up to him gracefully sitting beside him on a bench in the yard. He recognized her. She had always been present amongst the group of his tormenters at Hailsham. After the unexpected kiss, Ruth stopped teasing him completely. She even told the others to quit tantalizing him. Ruth had told everyone they were "together", something completely foreign to Tommy. He never said anything.
She seemed nice to Tommy, so he didn't want to hurt her.
That was who Tommy was.
He was always too shy, too nervous, and too nice to hurt others.
"What do you mean?" Kathy questioned.
He drew a large circle in the ground as he pushed leaves past with his shoe. He shook his head.
"I've never loved Ruth. I don't think I ever will."
"I suppose a deferral is out of the question," Kathy tried at a small joke.
Tommy met Kat's eyes.
"Kat, do you remember the day I bought you that tape the day of the sale at Hailsham?"
"Do you still have it?"
"Yes," Kathy told him.
Tommy smiled softly.
"I went to give you the tape, and then you kissed me on the cheek. As soon as I left, some boys had started provoking me as they always did. I felt God awful. I was just about ready to burst," he continued, "I thought of how amazing that peck on the cheek felt to keep me calm."
"Really?" she asked.
"I started thinking of you, the way you make me feel, every time I felt angry or sad," Tommy told her, "I still think of you to help me feel at ease."
Kathy felt pleased with herself that she could be such a strong rock for Tommy even if she wasn't near. That was all she had ever wanted; she wished to take care of him. She was glad she could even if her presence was absent.
"Once thinking of you became a habit, I knew then that I loved you," Tommy said.
Kathy felt a rush of emotions spread through her. She felt childish for she suppressed a wide grin from appearing upon her face. She thought about when she had helped Tommy through one of his fits at Hailsham after not being picked for a game of football. She thought of how nice it felt to lay a kiss upon Tommy's cheek. She thought of how wonderful the mere presence of Tommy felt to her.
"How long have you felt this way about me, Tommy?" she asked.
He knit his eyebrows together. He thought for a moment.
"Always," he nodded.
Kathy didn't care much for how Ruth would feel once she found out the truth of Tommy's feelings, nor did she care about all that had occurred from the time Ruth kissed Tommy to now. She didn't think of the dreadful future that awaited the three of them: Ruth, Tommy, and herself.
"Always," Kat murmured.
She thought this moment was beautiful. Any other painful, distressing moment did not matter.
She felt happy. She thought she finally deserved that.