Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, quotes I've used, or Anna Sun by Walk the Moon in any way. I own nothing but my ideas.
We Lifted This House
Everything was good in the beginning, love was the reason why. She knew him and he knew her, and that's all that mattered. She was happy with the half-demon, and people didn't like that.
Their wedding was small. Her mother was there to show her that she'd support her, no matter her volition. Her brother, Sango and Miroku, they were all there. It was a nice day, and she was smiling like she meant it. She was in love and she was at the pretty age of 18. Pretty young, but that didn't matter.
Their eyes were pretty and sparkling as they looked at each other, speaking words that only came from their hearts. Kagome didn't believe that marriage was between a man and a woman. She liked to think of it as love and love. She was always believing.
And when the priest finished up, when there were tears in her eyes as he gently grabbed her hand, when he was slipping the ring on her slender finger, the only thought that processed her mind was 'till death do part.' His lips came closer, and even though he'd given her many kisses before, her heart was thundering in her chest louder than it ever had.
Claps echoed through the confined chapel when her lips met his, but she couldn't hear anything besides those words playing over and over inside of her head and the sound of her heart beating loudly in her ears, making them ring almost. She felt his smile against her lips, and it reassured her. Her world didn't collapse.
It fell apart in the loveliest way.
She loved him.
Her family loved him.
And when they walked out of that chapel, so young and naïve, she looked to the heavens and smiled, pushing herself closer to him, nuzzling her nose into the warmth of his neck, laughing happily as she kissed it.
She looked to the heavens and smiled. Daddy would be proud.
Goodbyes were always the hardest, and sometimes, she just didn't want to say anything at all. But she kissed her mother, pulling her into a long hug, tears ruining the makeup that Sango had worked so hard on. Maybe she was getting her mother's dress wet, and maybe at the moment, mascara was running down her cheeks, but she didn't care.
"I love you, Mama," Kagome told her. "I promise I'll be home to visit soon."
Her mother whispered back to her that she loved her, tears spilling from her eyes, also. Her little brother watched in disgust, and Sango watched with a smile on her face, as did Miroku.
Souta said he would take her room now that she was leaving. She laughed and wrapped her arms around him anyway, kissing his forehead and watching in amusement as he cringed. But the corners of his tiny mouth curved upwards ever so slightly.
Sango quickly wrapped her arms around her waist, tears fogging her eyes. Kagome hugged her back tight before pulling away, kissing her on the cheek, whispering in her ear that she would promise to keep in touch. It was a true promise, one that she wouldn't break.
Miroku smiled simply, pulling his arms around her. She clung to him, a smile on her face as she thanked him for everything he'd done, for who he was. He kissed her gently on her forehead, wishing her to have a life, and then threatening her that she'd better keep in touch with all of them.
She watched as Inuyasha bid his goodbyes, too, her insides warming and a big smile on her face as she watched him.
Everything was perfect.
It wasn't like a honeymoon. It was so much better.
It was like she'd ran away with him instead. They had no money, really, and the little that they did have was spent on gas and cheap hotels. They survived off his old truck and room service in those cheap hotels.
They made love there, too.
Sex was natural for them. There wasn't a right way or a wrong way to do it. It was something normal, as normal as drinking water. There was only darkness, and each touch owned each sound.
She couldn't see anything, and she only felt him. His wet lips against hers made funny sounds sometimes, and she would laugh against his mouth, and he would laugh, too, as he gently slipped inside of her.
And then, she closed her eyes. It didn't matter if she closed them or not, she still couldn't see even if they were open. She could see his eyes, though. The molten gold color of them gleaming in darkness, drawing her into his world.
Good in bed?
No, that didn't matter. Statistics didn't matter either, especially when she was the only one, when it was her in this bed with him. She taught him that, told him over and over again. None of it mattered. And she knew all of his faults and he knew all of hers, and when their two bodies became one and when their sounds filled the room, they knew each other even more. She found herself so twisted up when she was twisted with him.
She moaned, arching into that first thrust, and he was already panting in her ear. Her legs wrapped around his waist tightly, her nails digging into his back. She felt him flinch, and she laughed softly when she heard him growl in pain and pleasure, and she kissed him while he continued to drive her body wild.
Her tongue thrust into his mouth in the same motion as he thrust into her, and a near whimper was torn from his lips. She found it funny how they'd done this so many times before, and still, they never got bored or tired or used to the thing they could make the other feel with their bodies.
And she didn't care when he lost himself, making her head slam against the headboard slightly. He growled, slowed himself down. She laughed, tried to tell him that it was completely okay. He growled again and she laughed louder, kissing him once more.
She cupped his cheek, and all she could see were his eyes. She felt his body inside of hers still, and she moaned low, bucking her hips against his, trying to get him to move again. He wouldn't.
"Again, Inuyasha," she said quietly, smiling. "I don't want some stupid cookie-cutter sex. I don't want planned, carefully crafted sex, either. I just want you, dummy. I want all of you; I want you to fuck me like how you feel, I want you to completely lose yourself. We've got all the time in the world. You won't hurt me. I just want you-"
Before she could finish what she was saying, he was already thrusting in and out of her again, growling in reply. Because he couldn't deny his mate, or his wife. There was no wrong way, no right way.
So when he slipped out of her accidentally, he didn't apologize. He started again, rocking her body with his, making her feel like she was the ocean and more than the universe, making her feel like the tide was gently pulling her in and out, in and out and...
And they had time. They had infinite rhythms and combinations and beats. They laughed, because nothing mattered. Only one thing did, and that was happiness. Their energy pumped in their hearts as he gradually increased his speed, making her let out long moans, making her hips lift when his came down, came in to her. The moment was ripe. Ripe lips, ripe cock, ripe thrusts. Hell, it was all fucking right.
They were bound.
He muttered something under his breath, something that she couldn't comprehend. With each powerful thrust, her body slipped up the mattress and her nails dug deeper, drawling blood.
And then, her hands were on his ass, burying him deeper inside of her as she cried out his name over and over again.
This had to be the best feeling in the world, being this close, this bound to the one you loved the most. Often, she would think of herself as lucky. And often, she wanted nothing more than to shower him with endless kisses and cling to him because he was hers and she was his. They were what they fought for, they were what they made and they were each other's dreams.
She wasn't worried about him making her come. But he did anyway, and he filled her up to the brim, too, and she moaned softly, lowly.
He was heavy atop of her, panting in her ear and kissing her neck. He rolled over, and their shoulders, wet with sweat, pressed together as the looked up into the darkness, smiles on their face and their bodies sated and warm and completely worn.
"I love you, Kagome," he whispered to her. "Thank you so much."
Her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion, and he laughed, sensing the emotion and he pulled her into his arms, kissing away all her doubts.
"Thank you for accepting me, mistakes and all." He said, and Kagome smiled.
"I love you."
Their very first home. No more cheap hotel rooms, no more surviving off room service and fast-food restraunts.
There was a garden, and it was lovely. It was only one floor, but that was okay. It was pricy, but that was okay, too. It wasn't beautiful, but in her eyes it was. There was torn wallpaper, a few holes in the floor, but Inuyasha had a job now. It was all okay, it had to be.
The roof wasn't stead, yeah, and maybe the door needed to be replaced, but it was all okay.
She felt his hand in hers, and she leaned closer, laughing and kissing him on the neck.
It was all okay. It had to be. He promised her.
But all summer, there was a strange feeling.
Something will break.
She liked the French saying for 'I miss you' better than any other. In French, you actually said, 'you are missing from me.' And it was completely true, so real. Inuyasha, he was like a vital body organ that she needed every second of the day. If she didn't have him, she felt as if she shut down completely, felt as if oppression weighed her down.
She buried her face into her hands.
The house was still falling apart. It had worsened. But right now, they just didn't have the patience. All they had were hearts and love, but she was beginning to think that love did not conquer all.
She was still in her pajamas. The kitchen smelled of stale cigarette smoke.
Her tea had gone cold now, and she was wondering why she even got out of bed at all.
It was a nice day. It was one of those days where the sun shined so brightly when it was actually freezing outside.
They had taken the highway. The sun was slowly falling away, and all of the windows were down and her head was thrown back against the seat, her eyes closed as the loud music from the stereo blasted in her ears.
She slightly opened her eyes, and using her peripheral vision, she could see Inuyasha smiling at her, his eyes off of the road. She laughed and screamed over the music for him to keep his eyes off of her and on the road before he crashed into something, or went over a hill.
She would disappear without him. Maybe she would fall into the sky.
She smiled and looked into his pretty eyes.
This was the life.
And he was driving fast and recklessly and he was taking her to some place he'd said she knew she'd like. The sun continued to fall away, and before she knew it, all of the constellations shined down for them to see.
He opened the door for her, and she smirked. In the back of the trunk, he'd had a blanket and some coffee in a thermal. He told her that he wanted to spend time with her.
It was like they had ran away again.
He laid her down, climbing atop of her while she pretended to fight him away, laughing all the while. He kissed her long and hard, kissing away all her doubts once more.
They fell asleep under those stars and he promised her that he'd make it all better.
It was raining and she was cold and he was out at work again.
She sighed. She had on these horrid reading glasses that actually didn't help her at all. The house was cold. And she could hear the steady dripping wetting the floor. There was a hole in the ceiling and cracks in the walls and he was too lazy to do anything.
She stared in disbelief at the bills they had to pay. She furiously rubbed at her temples and raised her head to look outside again. The flowers were beginning to wither away.
What a fucking ghost town this was.
What a fucking marriage this was.
This was their natural routine. He'd come home from work a little too late, in her opinion, and he wouldn't say a word. All he'd do was light up a cigarette, ask what they were having for dinner. She'd be home all day, tripping out about the bills they had to pay, tripping out about how this house was falling apart.
He growled, having enough. "That's all you ever fucking talk about, Kagome. If you hate it all this much, maybe I should stop working twenty-four seven trying to pay for all of this shit!"
He was almost positive she wouldn't say a thing back. Because he knew Kagome. He knew the way that sneaky fucking mind of hers ticked, and he knew the way her body ticked. She handled heavy burdens and never told a soul about it. She would smile when she felt like screaming and when she was going to cry, she'd pull that damn iPod that was not worth his fucking money and sing. And she cried when she was really happy, and laughed uncertainly when she was scared.
And he knew her love was unconditional. But he forgot about that. He knew her so well that he quickly forgot his manners around her and became a monster.
Nothing was better, and he hadn't touched her in months.
Her tea was cold, and instead of singing because she was sad, she was crying.
When it rained, water still splattered over the kitchen floor. The door was still coming off the hinges. And it still smelled of cigarette smoke.
She felt like he was using her palm as an ashtray on his good days.
And everything was broken, and she wished that she was as invisible as he made her feel.
It was Christmas Eve and he was completely shitfaced and completely lost while he should have been home. Yeah, he was homesick all the time, but he didn't have a home anymore. And he knew he was a monster and he knew he was selfish and he knew if he was to go to the place that was supposedly called 'home', he would see her choking with dry tears and raging, raging on and on about his indifference and wondering, wondering on and on why she had so much love to give him and why he couldn't accept it.
Please, he was incapable of being loved and he didn't have the money and he was one big disappointment.
This girl who had wrapped himself around him, clinging to him, had dark eyes. And Kagome's were lighter, like cinnamon. She tasted like alcohol and chapstick, and Kagome tasted rich, almost like chocolate, so sweet that she made his knees buck beneath him and he melted in to her.
He sighed as he realized he was being unfair. Her legs shut tight over his hips, him who was all wrong.
He wasn't iridescent in Kagome's eyes anymore, and he didn't dazzle her.
So he held this different girl tonight, then tucked her away in his spine just like that.
The next day when Christmas rolled around, the house was empty and he'd given her a simple necklace while she'd given him a watch. She found herself wanting to hear the pitter-patter of feet on the wood floors that had holes in them. So she cried because he found her so disgusting that he didn't want to give her children. And he still hadn't even touched her, kissed her, even.
He was somewhere sipping on wine while she sipped on her mistakes, all alone in this empty, piece-of-shit house.
At first, he didn't know what she was talking about. He was turning into a monster again, forgetting how easily she scarred and forgetting everything they'd shared and forgetting everything he knew about her. Hell, this place wasn't a home. It was spring and still, nothing was fixed up and the television had been off for months.
And he still hadn't laid a single hand on her.
She was crying silently. And she was nearly choking herself, trying to keep them back.
Her voice was deadly calm. The cracks in the walls reminded her of the things he'd said. She was falling from the things she should have already known. "I heard from a…from a friend, that your dick went deliberately inside of your secretary."
He growled at her accusation. He spoke the truth, though, even if his voice did shake. "What the fuck did you expect, Kagome? I haven't touched you in fucking months!" Oh yes, he was definitely a monster again, anger filling him up.
She frowned, her lower lips quivering as tears helplessly poured down her cheeks. And then, she was screaming. "God, Inuyasha, I didn't know it went that far!"
He wanted to walk away, so he did. And she ran out the door after him, cringing from the sound of the hinges. "Don't you dare walk away from me! You can't do this. You can't."
Oh, she was tired of his shit.
He was getting in that truck, the one that they had smiled in, made love in, looked at the stars in. And she ran over to him, ignoring the chilly wind in her face. It was spring and it was still cold, but it didn't make her feel colder than he made her feel.
Her cheeks were damp, blotched, her small, button nose red from crying and red from the chilly wind. He watched her, rolling his window down.
For a while, she didn't know what to say. She looked down to her hands and wondered why she'd kept this ring on her finger for so long. He watched her as she slid it off her slender finger, staring at it in amazement, almost. Finally, she raised her head, letting him see what she was feeling.
She was tired.
She reached through the car window, gently grabbing his hand. She placed the ring in his palm, and then closed his fist tight around it and quickly pulled away.
"I want my Higurashi name back. I want my old life back. I don't belong here and I don't want to be a Takahashi anymore. Maybe one day, it'll fit some other girl perfectly. We just turned 19, Inuyasha. What the fuck were we doing? That ring…it's not right for me anymore. It doesn't fit me anymore." Kagome told him gently, awkwardly wrapping her arms around her waist, trying to keep herself warm as more tears slid down her cheeks.
He looked down at the object in his palm, and then back up at her, his mouth agape. She wished she could laugh at that face, but she didn't know him anymore.
"Kagome…" he started desperately, about to open his car door. She stopped him. He looked up at her, his eyes narrowing. "You can't do this."
"And you're full of shit, Inuyasha," she said, a melancholy smile on her face. " That's the thing. I got all excited about nothing, and I married you and I'm sorry."
He growled, completely desperate, now as she turned away. He slammed the car door shut, grabbed her hand to stop her from walking away. "It was until death do part, Kagome. Does that mean anything to you? Don't you remember when I thanked you for accepting me with my mistakes and everything? Why can't you do that now?"
She laughed, turning around to meet his eyes. His were desperate, and she'd tried to gain the composure to be strong and calm, but he knew better. "I never once believed that marriage was between a man and a woman. I always thought it was between love and love. But what is this? What the fuck is this, Inuyasha? I don't fucking know. You slept with her. I'm not stupid. There are girls that are so much more attractive than me, more intelligent, more caring and more lucky. Life is full of devils and they're all around you. I didn't think you could be deceived. There are men that are so much better than you. But you know what? I chose you." She shivered, closing her eyes, feeling the pain swell in her chest. "So when you're all alone tonight, you think about that. And god, to think that we've been together for three years, and just one year in marriage. Fuck you, Inuyasha Takahashi."
She was gone. He was half demon, so he shouldn't have been cold. But the chilly air was fucking with his mind. And maybe, he was also cold because once she was there, and now she wasn't, and that was the most chilling thing he'd ever experienced.
Time was a tricky thing. It was something that fucked with her mind. She was up again, choking on tears. It had been weeks. The universe collapsed around her, fed her the weeks and made her throw up the nights. And fuck, it was 2:00am and she didn't have the peace of mind to sleep.
It was too late to call Sango. Mama was probably knocked out, tired of buying groceries and driving Souta to soccer games and tired of Jii-chan.
Once again, he was missing from her. Even though they were both so fucked up, the only thing that used to help her get to sleep at night were his arms around her. But he'd been sleeping on the couch for months, and she'd never felt so disgusted with herself.
Her throat was dry, maybe from all the crying. She crept down the stairs, into the kitchen. The linoleum beneath her feet made them cold, made them almost sore.
It still smelled of stale cigarette smoke. It was another reminder of the part that was missing from her. And as she made her way to the half empty fridge, it was just her luck that she slipped and fell to her knees. She growled out angrily, and when she'd thought she had cried all of the salt from her body, she was wrong.
She was crying and releasing a string of obscenities as she ripped at the already fucked up linoleum. It tore so easily, and her lower lip was quivering and she was tasting salt in her mouth once again. She thought to herself, this had to be madness, this had to be the ultimate betrayal.
And she knew she was mad when she felt as if someone was pulling her up to her feet. She thrashed in his arms, fought against him.
"Goddamn it, Kagome. I'm here. Stop. Just stop." The voice was so familiar and she knew she was losing it. That was Inuyasha's voice, and why the fuck would he be here?
He twisted her body around so that she was facing him, and pulled her into his arms. She hit at him over and over again relentlessly. He slammed her against the cracked wall, hooking her legs around his waist and roughly cupping her cheek, making her look at him.
With her eyes still closed, she cried, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and burying her head into his shoulder.
"I'm here, Kagome," he said again, his voice raspy in his ear. He didn't want to tell her that he almost went mad. She was his mate and that was natural. She should know that. "I'm here and I'm fucking sorry."
Finally, she found the strength within herself to open her eyes. He pushed against her harder, sensing that she would try to find some way out once again. She glared at him, tears still spilling from her eyes. "You should leave. I'm fine. And you're probably fucking perfect."
He growled, his eyes briefly turning red before turning back to their normal color. "I'm not leaving and I'll be damned if you walk away from me again, Kagome. We're miserable, possibly a match made in hell, but that don't change the fact that you're my fucking mate. And we're bound. We're bound forever and you're not leaving me because I love you, just like you love me."
He kissed away her tears, because after all, he had never forgotten his promise. He would make it all better, one way or another.
All the clothes were strewn against the bedroom floor. And no longer was he afraid of this room. He was no longer afraid to touch the fullness of her breasts, feel the love in her touches. He was no longer afraid to admit she was his lifeline. He kissed away the scars he'd left all on her insides.
And together, they lost themselves, heaven orbiting around them.
Love was in the air around them and it was in every scar they hid.
They learned to fill every awkward silence with new kisses, and there were still cracks in the wall that reminded her of the things they'd said, of the things they'd thrown across the room at each other in pure lividness. But it was warmer, and the sun shined on good days. He worked hard enough to at least pay a few bills. And they were no longer afraid of each other and who they'd become.
He no longer burned himself to Hell as fast as he could, and she no longer felt worthless or discarded.
The sky was so blue that day, not a cloud in the sky.
Her eyes were gleaming as she walked up to him, crying, wrapping her arms around him. His body went rigid, because he thought he'd done something completely wrong again, he thought she'd walk away again.
She had no reason. He'd kept his promise and when she smiled, he swore it reached her eyes and she meant it. So when she pulled away from him, that smile that reached her eyes still on her pretty lips, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Before he could manage to splutter something out, she stood on her tip-toes and kissed him ever so gently.
She pulled away, her smile widening when she saw that his eyes had soften and his body had relaxed.
She kissed him again, laughing against his mouth happily and he declared to himself that his mate had gone mad once more.
"What the hell's gotten into you, wench?" he asked stupidly, stepping away just a little incase she tried anything crazy. But her smile was making him smile. "Is everything alright? Are you okay?"
"I know we're fucked up and all and maybe too young," she started, showing those dainty white teeth of hers. "But do you think we'll be good parents?" She asked softly, looking up at him through long, dark lashes.
She said it so simply, her eyes still gleaming and that perfect smile still showing and he completely froze. She looked up at him, worried.
His smile was slow, but it reached his eyes. They seemed to brighten even more as he picked her up into his arms, deciding that it was a wonderful day for a new baby.
They rattled that house, they lifted it up and fucked it up. But there wasn't a hole in the ceiling anymore and the cracks in the walls were gone and the door wasn't torn off the hinges and they were still coming up for air every once in a while…
But it was a wonderful day for a new baby.
Not a cloud in the sky.
A/N: I know I should really be working on All I Need but god, it seems like I just can't get enough of one-shots. They're lovely, beautiful, and so much easier! I listened to the song over and over and I just knew I had to write something like this. I hope you all understood. I think this is really what happens in marriages, so I hope you all enjoyed, and feedback would be lovely. (: