Total Cartoon Island, Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for the follows, favorites, and reviews. It really means a lot to me. Also, there will be cameos this chapter by three surprise guests. Who, you ask? Read to find out! Also, I'm not doing a recap this chapter, since nothing really happened in the previous one.

also, this is a response to a guest reviewer known as stitch. I wasn't planning on having any specific interns, but I may use a couple of the cartoon characters you suggested in cameos for later chapters. Thank you for the idea, though!

Fun Fact: Rufus was actually named after a species of snake that eats naked mole rats. Rather cruel, isn't it?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or their sources. If I did, it would be a major accomplishment.

Chapter 2: This Is Torture!

(theme music)

The scene opens to the contestants in the mess hall. Most of them were analyzing what Chef considered "lunch".

"Ugh, what is this?" asked Nestor upon receiving his tray.

"How am I supposed to know?!" Chef replied. "Now do me a favor and sit your scrawny butt down NOW!"

"You don't know what you're serving?" Nikki repeated.

"Got that right." said Chef. "What I do know is that you are going to eat it!"

"Funny. I actually don't mind him." Quest muttered under his breath.

"We seriously have to eat this crap?" asked Jonesy, who was sitting at a table poking at his food.

"What were you expecting, a five star meal?" asked Shego.

"Well, I was expecting something better than this." he replied.

Doofenshmirtz was about to open his mouth and start telling a story, only to be stopped by Vanessa.

"Dad, don't even think about going into a backstory." she warned.

"Fine." he sighed, eating more of his food.

"Okay, is it just me, or is mine moving?" asked Dipper.

"It's not just you, dude." said Jude. "Are you even going to eat yours?"

"It's not that bad." Andy admitted, though he was turning a bit green.

Meanwhile, Deceit was facing something else irritating.

"Can I pet your snake?" Mabel asked eagerly.

"No!" Deceit snapped.

"Why not?"

"Because you can't!"

"Why?"

"Just leave me alone!" Deceit snapped.

"Aw, is it your time of the month?" Mabel teased.

"I'm ten thousand years old! (1) That ended long ago!"

"Yet you don't look a day over a million." Andy snorted.

"Oh, quiet you!"

Chris barged through the mess hall door, cutting the argument short.

"Everyone getting along?" he asked, grinning.

"What do you think?" asked Quest.

"Excellent. It's time for your first challenge."

"Can't we even finish our food?" asked Ron.

"Nope." Chris replied. "It's time for some fun."

"And what exactly do you consider 'fun'?" asked Candace.

"You'll see."

They had been lead to the amphitheater used in a few of the challenges from TDI. There were multiple video screens set up, as well stacks of something covered by drop cloths.

"Today's challenge is a test of toughness. Not physical toughness, but mental. Every single one of you will be subjected to some form of torture. There are four different categories.: inner urges, horror, annoyance, and tearjerker. Inner urges is just a way of saying we get to torment you in the most individualized way possible: challenging your most difficult inner urges. We have these set up for two of you. Horror is Exactly What It Says On The Tin (2): either subjecting you to your phobias or attempting to scar you for life. Annoyance pretty much speaks for itself. Tearjerker is basically a fancy way of saying 'can you take this without crying?' Each of your challenges will fall under one of these categories. The challenges will be either: team vs. team, where all remaining members from each team compete and the first two to crack are eliminated, one vs. one, where one member of each team will compete and the last one standing wins, or individual challenges that are either tailor-made for the contestant or are chosen at random. To determine the challenge, I'll use this slot machine."

He pulled back on one of the drop cloths to reveal a gigantic slot machine, similar to the one used in Niagara Falls. Standing beside it was Chef, wearing a showgirl's outfit.

"Sick and wrong! Sick and wrong!" Ron exclaimed, covering his eyes.

"Seriously, can he at least wear some pants?" asked Eric.

"No can do Eric." said Chris. "Pull the lever, Chef!"

Chef pulled the lever. The words "team vs. team" and "horror" came up next to a picture of a clown.

"Ah, the creeper clown. Good one." said Chris.

The clown entered from backstage, and it was apparent that he was named well. He had a rather unnerving look on his face.

"Clowns are a symbol of laughter and youth." said Chris. "So the first two to react negatively are out."

The clown started walking towards the benches, immediately causing Eric to dive under the one he was sitting on.

"Eric, you're-." said Chris, only to be cut off by Jen.

"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME, YOU SICKO!" she screeched angrily, kicking the clown in the groin.

"Jen and Eric, you're out!" Chris announced.

[Confessional:

Jen: "He was looking at my boobs! Of course I was going to react negatively!"]

The lever was pulled again, landing on 'Individual' and 'inner urges'.

"Who's it gonna be?" asked Chris, cranking the lever one more time. The slot landed on a picture of Jude.

"Dude, this is gonna be a tough one." said Chris. "Hand over your board. If you can make it to round seven without demanding to get it back or attempting to get it back yourself, you pass."

"NO DUDE! NOT MY BOARD!" Jude moaned, trying to get up and run away.

Quest yanked him back, almost breaking his arm.

"Give him the board." Quest growled.

Jude sighed. "Okay, scary dude."

He reluctantly handed the board over to Chris, trying not to cry.

The slot was once again cranked, giving another individual challenge (annoyance), this time for Shego.

"Ooh, I was hoping you'd get this one." Chris laughed.

"What is it?" Shego snapped.

"You have to put up with our surprise guests for three entire rounds." Chris told her, grinning mischievously.

"How hard can it be?" Shego asked, rolling her eyes.

"You'll see." he told her. "They were locked in a water tower for sixty years and barely aged a day. They take annoying to an entirely new level. No one knows what the hell they're supposed to be! Ladies and gentlemen...the WARNER BROTHERS!"

"And the Warner sister!" a young, female voice chimed.

Onto the stage came three black and white creatures that looked like some sort of cross between cat and dog. The tallest one wore only a pair of brown pants. The next tallest had a blue sweatshirt and a red hat and was sticking his tongue out in a dopey fashion. And the shortest, the only girl, had a flower in her hair and wore a simple pink skirt.

"Hello, villain!" the two male ones exclaimed, liking what they saw.

"Okay, who and what are you?" asked Shego, looking rather irritated.

"I'm Yakko." the tall one said.

"I'm Wakko." the middle one declared with a Liverpoolian accent.

"And I'm Dot!" the female one said.

"They look like characters on a TV show I watched when I was younger." said Ron. "Weird."

The Warners smiled and gave him a thumbs-up before climbing all over Shego and chattering incessantly. Shego was only able to hold out for a few minutes before she threw them off and started growling. Chris told her she was out and she went to join Eric and Jen in the designated "loser" area.

Round four was the first one vs. one challenge, with Mabel and Nikki ready to be tortured and horrified.

"I'm so excited!" Mabel exclaimed.

"You're excited to get tortured?" asked Nikki.

"Tortured? Nah." Mabel replied, giving a big smile.

"Prepare to listen to the worst music in history!" Chris exclaimed, slipping a pair of headphones over each girl's ears. "First one to crack loses."

Chris pulled out two mp3 players and pressed play on both. Within 30 seconds, Nikki could no longer take the terrible music and threw the headphones on the ground and retreated to the loser area, shaking from the trauma.

"What did they make you listen to?" asked Shego. "Kidz Bop?"

"Worse." said Nikki.

"Carly Rae Jepsen?" asked Jen.

"Worse."

"Miley Cyrus?" asked Eric.

"Worse."

"What's worse than Miley Cyrus?" asked Jen, trying to think of another horrid artist. "No, you can't mean-"

"Yeah." Nikki muttered.

[Confessional:

Shego: "Okay, even I think that's low! What kind of sick-"

Eric: "sadistic bastard-"

Jen: "forces someone against their will to listen to -"

Nikki: "Justin Bieber. So...much...Justin...Bieber." ]

The fifth round was the first tearjerker and the second team vs. team. The TV screens were finally turned on and the sinking scenes from Titanic filled all of them.

"Oh, look! He bounced off the propeller!" Doofenshmirtz exclaimed, elbowing Spite. "Come on, where's the blood?!"

"Is it so hard to add in some blood?" asked Spite. "Seriously, if he's going to bounce off the propeller, there should be blood! Ugh, this is terrible!"

"I'm cool with no blood." Jonesy muttered, looking a bit sickened by the discussion happening between the horned villain and evil scientist.

"No one asked you!" Spite argued.

"No one asked you!"

"Stop copying me!"

"You stop copying me!"

Chris couldn't help but laugh at the two bickering. By the end, the only two in tears were Kitty and Nestor.

"Are you crying?" Quest teased.

"I have allergies!" Nestor argued.

"Sure you do."

Before the slot machine could get spinning again, Jude looked clearly ready to surrender, as he was lying on the ground in the fetal position and looking positively desperate.

"Too bad, dude. You almost made it." Chris told him.

Jude snatched his board and joined the other losers.

Round six was a one vs. one annoyance challenge with Vanessa against Quest.

Chris hit play on a youtube video.

"Nyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyan ..."

"What is this?" asked Quest, looking positively mortified at the odd cat moving across the screen farting rainbows.

"Nyan Cat." Chris said, winking.

"It's kinda catchy." Vanessa admitted, bobbing her head a little.

"Make it stop!" Quest demanded.

"Too bad, you fail." Chris laughed, looking happy he had managed to irritate the muscular adventurer.

"Not so tough now, are you?" Nestor teased.

Quest simply grunted.

Rounds seven and eight were both personal phobia related. Ron was unable to handle the many monkeys Chris had in one of the cages. Meanwhile, Jonesy was forced to deal with his: blood. He was lead to the communal bathroom and for some reason, was told to wash his hands.

"Okay." said Jonesy, turning on the faucet.

However, the water that was coming out of the faucet did not look like water at all.

Jonesy backed up nervously from the sink.

"I don't think I can do this." he whimpered.

"It's just water, Jonesy!" Nikki exclaimed.

Deciding to listen to his girlfriend, Jonesy shrugged it off and got his hands wet. He had passed. That is, until he went to exit the bathroom. As soon as he opened the door, a ginormous water balloon filled with-you guessed it-blood, fell on his head and splattered all over him. He screamed like a little girl.

"Looks like he's out." said Chris.

"What the hell was that for?" asked Nikki, looking extremely pissed.

"That wasn't me!" Chris exclaimed.

Andy laughed softly.

"Andy, I'm gonna kill you." Jonesy muttered before passing out from the shock.

[Confessional:

Andy: "Yeah, I admit a Carrie prank was a little extreme, but did you see the look on his face? Man, I am glad that guy doesn't have telekinesis!" ]

As the competition dragged on, the number of contestants able to stick it out dwindled. Isabella was unable to keep down any tears while watching an ASPCA commercial, Doofenshmirtz could not handle the irritating, ear-wormy quality of the Ducktales theme song (3), the thought of being unable to bust her brothers was too much for Candace, Deceit really found it irritating for everyone to keep asking her why after everything, Dipper and Vanessa were unable to stomach the Human Centipede (4), and Caramelldansen managed to do nothing but give Andy and Vanna splitting headaches. Finally, Spite and Mabel were the only ones left.

"One last annoying video!" Chris announced, pressing play on the remote.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Spite exclaimed. "Who watches this My Little Pony Crap?!"

"Lots of people." said Mabel, looking rather interested in the program.

"I am not one of them!" said Spite. "I am an evil overlord! Evil overlords don't like talking ponies!"

"Then I guess Mabel is our winner!" Chris declared. "Screaming Screamers, it's time to choose someone to go home."

Later, the team of ten was sitting at the campfire, waiting to hear who was safe.

"Spite, Ron, the family Doofenshmirtz, Nikki, Isabella, and Kitty, you are safe." said Chris. "Come get your marshmallows."

The seven happily took their marshmallows.

"Jonesy, you're also safe." said Chris.

"Eric, Shego. One of you will not receive a marshmallow. The last marshmallow goes to...Shego."

Eric stood up sadly and boarded the boat of losers.

"ERIC!" Kitty shouted. "I LOVE YOU!"

"WHAT?" Eric called.

"WHAT?" Kitty repeated. (5)

"Who's going to go home next? Is Jonesy going to get revenge on Andy? And how will I torture the contestants next? Find out next time on Total! Drama! Cartoon Island!

(1) Deceit is actually ten thousand years old. She revealed this in the episode "Leaper Island."

(2) Exactly What It Says On The Tin is TVTropes speak for something that points out what it is in the most obvious way: a title.

(3) This was inspired by a Nostalgia Critic video about the top eleven most catchy kids show theme songs. He went on and on about how even a couple lines could get stuck in your head and never come out. I think it has driven him insane.

(4) The Human Centipede...I don't really want to have to explain it because it's disgusting. I haven't seen the movie myself, but I've heard enough from a friend to never want to. So if you truly want to know what it is, google it. Don't blame me if you're scarred for life.

(5) This comes from a running gag on Sidekick . Kitty has a huge crush on Eric and will not so subtlely admit she likes him every single episode. But Eric, being his clueless self, doesn't know what she's saying and she pretends she doesn't either.

Next challenge: a good old-fashioned game of Capture the Flag! Read, review, and stay tuned!