In the past year that I have gotten to know Emily Fields, I have learned a few things about myself. First of all, I learned that my attraction to women was not something that I could casually avoid or deny. Second of all, I learned that I was irrevocably in love with Emily Fields and there was not a damn thing on this planet, no this universe, that could change that. Thirdly I learned that no matter how hard I try, I Paige McCullers am no longer the same person I was before and I have Emily to thank for that.
I am completely a different person, or at least I believe that I am becoming that person. Because, in the past if something had bothered me I automatically got defensive and attacked whatever or whoever was in front of me. For example when Emily got me all hot and bothered and I couldn't accept that fact, I dunked her head in a pool of chlorine. You can't forget the homophobic comment either. It was all I could do, because she was all I wanted to do. I guess the truth of it is I thought that if she hated me for the person I was, she would no longer surround herself with me and that would solve all my problems. I was completely wrong, like I mean nothing would be more incorrect than that idea. Why? Because Emily friggin' Fields is somewhat of a saint. Even after all the hurt and confusion I put her through; she still stood by my side. As a teammate, as a friend, and now as a lover. She is the most amazing thing in the world and now she is the most amazing thing in MY world. I have to say though; the new and improved Paige McCullers 2.0 isn't half bad. I for once in my life am happy; truly and completely happy. Who wouldn't be happy with Emily Fields by their side?
Sitting here in Emily's arms as we are watching her favorite movie, Rudy, I realized I am probably the luckiest girl in the world. I am in the arms of the person that I cherish most in this world. Nobody in this world deserves someone as special and flawless as Emily, much less me. But I have her and it's not a dream. Sometimes I would sit there and watch her as she talks to me and she would do something as innocent as touching my hand and I feel a spark that melts me away. It gets me to wonder if I'm dreaming, but sooner or later I realize that, no, it's not a dream; it's honestly a dream come true.
She looks up at me and does that thing with her eyebrows she always does that drives me mad, "What's going on in that head of yours?"
I smile at her, "Nothing babe. I am just trying to understand why you love this movie so much. And to be honest I'm trying to stay awake." She giggles in the cutest way possible and says,
"We don't have to watch this if you don't want to."
"No, I'm fine. I will use this as leverage when I want to do something you don't." She chuckles, slaps me in the arm, and turns her head back to the screen.
"What were you really thinking about?" She asks me again; she knows me too well. I could lie to the world, but when it comes to her I couldn't even tell a white lie without her finding out in that instance.
I've come a long way, but I still am not too comfortable with releasing all the information flowing through my mind, so I simply answered, "You."
She adjusts her attention off the screen and puts it right back on me, "If that was any more detailed, I would have passed out!" She gives me that special smile that always takes my breath away; the same smile that weakens my knees.
"It's nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about." She sits straight up and slightly pushes me off of her, so that we are sitting side by side. For a brief moment I think she is angry at me, but she moves closer to me so that our faces are almost touching and she teases me by licking her lips seductively. A moan almost escapes my lips as I try to comprehend how sexy she is, but I catch myself and don't show a single sign of weakness. I slowly try to close the distance between us, but she beats me to it and presses her lips onto mine with more passion than I can handle. It started off real slow and delicate, but quickly advanced to a kiss that would make a porn star blush. She bites on my lower lip softly and then before I could even react she slides her tongue into my mouth. Each of our tongues dueled for dominance until we heard the front door open and shut. She quickly jumped and backed away from me to get herself back into her prior position, while I just sat there staring off into space reliving that kiss over and over again.
We haven't been too intimate ever since we got together a few days ago by the pool, because she said that taking it slow would probably be the best idea. So, we could have a chance to get to know each other again. Honestly at this point in time, I have no clue why I agreed to such a 'brilliant' idea. I wanted to be all over her in any way possible, but a deal is a deal, and it is probably for the best. We should take our time and make each memory a perfect memory.
She looks over at me and my blank face and taps my shoulder, "Hey babe, you okay there? Need C.P.R?" She chuckles as I snap back into reality.
"Oh sorry, I was just…" She laughs at me blushing ferociously, and I don't even get a chance to complete my sentence.
"So, what were you just thinking about?" I look at her face smirking at me and her raised eyebrow; 'She's so beautiful,' I think to myself. I move my eyes down to her breast and down to her bronze colored thighs and I lose it. I get myself up and she questions me, "What's going on?" Not wanting to give her a straight answer her, I just walk straight to my backyard and drop myself into my pool. I think to myself, 'That should cool me off for the time being, I hope.' I swim over to the edge and get out of the pool to find Emily standing there laughing at me uncontrollably. She walks over to me and gives me a quick kiss on the lips. "I think I'm gonna head home. It's late and I don't think that you need another cold shower!" She wiggles her eyebrows and closes the gap between us again and kisses me. She raises her hands to caress waist and continues to kiss me like we did on the couch just a few minutes ago. She parts my lips and searching for my tongue again, and when she finds it, she playful wrestles with it and releases a slight moan. Not being able to take another second of this torture, I break up the kiss and fall straight back into the pool. She laughs her laugh and says, "Okay, I get the point; consider me gone. See you tomorrow baby!" She winks at me, turns around and starts walking to her car. As she walks away I can't help but stare at her tone bronze legs, and that ass. I swear she sways her hips like that just to drive me mad! I find myself lost in guttered thoughts of her when I hear my mom call out my name, "Paige honey, it is almost midnight. What in tarnation are you doing in the pool?" I shake the thoughts from my mind and answer,
"Just getting in a few laps before I head to bed, Ma. I will be up soon. Good night." That was exactly what I did. I swam a few laps before I took a shower and jumped into my comfy bed.
I lay there and think back to when I was barely poking my head out of the closet. Back when Emily and I were secretly dating. I was so happy to have her in my life, but I screwed it up and she ran. I now have a second chance and I will do anything to keep her, even if I have to go for 'late night swims' every night for the rest of my life. I smile at the thought of her and slowly nod off into dreamland starring Emily Fields.