AN: Oh. My. God. It's worse than I thought. I take a break from Legend of Korra for a few weeks and look what happens. You guys let all the Makorra in! Look at this mess, you left AU's, high school, and future fics all over the floor. THAT'S HOW YOU GET MAKORRA YOU GUYS! Nah I'm just messing with you guys, I have no problem with Makorra being all over the place, I just wish there was a little more variety, which is why I haven't been to the Legend of Korra section in a while. Quick, someone write a crack pairing, we desperately need it. Anyways, sorry for not updating for such a long time. I won't leave you guys hanging like that again.

"Sheeeiiiitt, I could spend the rest of my life here." Korra finished off her can of beer, crushed it in her hands and tossed it over her shoulder to join the pile. She rested her back against the tree trunk and let out a contented sigh. She was sitting near a large river with her fishing pole propped up against a rock next to her. If she really wanted to, she could just waterbend some fish out of the river and have dinner in a matter of minutes, but decided not to. There was no reason to rush, plus it felt nice to do things the old-fashioned way for once.

Korra grabbed another beer from her six pack and cracked it open. After a long sip, Korra just closed her eyes and relished the feeling of being truly alone for once. Taking a vacation in Vegas was nice, but being alone in a crowd and being miles away from another human being were two completely different things. Out here she didn't have to worry about Pro-Bending practice, Tarrlok's Task Force and most of all, she didn't have to worry about Amon's crazy ass.

Quite frankly, Korra decided that being alone was the shit. She cradled her beer in both hands while she thought about all the wonderful things you can do when you are alone. Picking your nose without getting any weird looks, lazing around the house all day in your pajamas, the possibilities were endless. Korra grinned when she thought of the most important perk of having no one else around.

Walking around bare-assed without a care in the world.

Korra set her beer down next to her fishing pole and pulled her boots off. The rest of her clothes quickly joined her boots as she ran toward the river. She let out a squeal of delight as the cool water surrounded her. When she resurfaced, Korra floated on her back and watched the clouds slowly creep across the sky. As Korra slowly drifted downriver, she noticed something strange. The water was starting to get warmer.

"What the hell? Am I near a hot spring or something?" Korra stopped floating on her back and started to swim up river toward her clothes. "That's weird, it wasn't this warm over here a minute ago." It took her a couple of seconds, but she quickly realized what was happening and slapped her forehead in frustration.

Nice dream? Check.

Rudely interrupted by warm water? Another check.

Yep, that sounds about right.

"God Dammit."

"Mommy, wake up." Korra Jr. stood next to the bed and shook her mother until she finally regained consciousness. "I had an accident..."

"Yeah, I noticed." The 'accident' was currently covering the entire right side of Korra's body. Her nose scrunched up in disgust when the smell finally hit her. Korra was about to curse, but she held onto the profanity when she noticed her daughter holding back tears. Instead, she sat up and held her arms out.

"Come here, kid." Korra Jr. walked into her mother's arms. "I'm not mad at you. Now let's go take a bath, we can't walk around smelling like pee forever." Korra grabbed a couple of towels and carried her daughter down the hall to the bathroom. She took a moment to examine herself in the mirror while the bathtub filled up with water.

Korra let out a low whistle as she poked the purplish bruises that adorned her neck. For an old man, Tenzin had one hell of a grip. The bruises would be gone in a couple of days, so Korra didn't worry about it too much.

This wasn't the first time she was choked out by one of her bending teachers after all.

Korra reached down and turned off the bathtub's faucet. "Let's hurry up and get clean Korra Jr., we're going to go meet mommy's friends today." Her daughter crossed her arms and pouted.

"That's not my name mommy."

"Hey, don't give me that look. Now get in the tub."

"Man my friends are going to shit bricks when they meet you."

"What does 'shit bricks' mean?"

"Um...forget I said anything. Shit, I really need to stop cussing in front of you. Fuck I did it again."

"What does fu-"

"Hey! Don't say that. It's a bad word and little kids shouldn't say it. Just color okay?" Korra took another sip of her drink as she watched her daughter doodle in her new coloring book. They had arrived at the book store ahead of schedule so Korra's friends would be here any minute.

"Can I have some of your soda?"

"Sorry kid." Korra took another sip. "Mommy put rum in her drink."

"What's that?"

"Wow you are full of questions today, aren't you? It's a drink for adults and you can't have any until you're 21."

"Are you 21 Mommy?"

"Sweetie," Korra reached across the table to ruffle her daughter's hair. "Mommy's the Avatar, she can drink whatever the hell she wants."

"Okay Mommy." Korra looked out the window and saw Asami's satomobile park across the street.

"Hey look, there's one of my friends right now." Korra stood up to greet Asami at the entrance.

"Korra! It's good to see you." Asami rushed Korra and smothered her in a bear hug. Korra stiffened for a few seconds before she awkwardly returned the hug.

"'s good to see you too."

"How long has it been, a month?"


"Well I'm glad you're back. Things have been dull since you left." Asami squeezed Korra a little tighter. "So how was rehab?"


"Yeah, Korra?"

"You can let me go now."

"Oh! Um, sorry about that."

"Nah it's alright. Take a seat, I want you to meet someone." Korra slid into the booth next to her daughter.

"Aww, she's adorable. You never told me you had a little sister. What's your name?"

"My nam-"

"Korra Jr." Asami raised an eyebrow.

"...Why would your parent's name you both Korra?" Asami watched Korra shift around in her seat awkwardly.

"She's not my little sister Asami."

"So she's..."


"Your daughter?! What the hell Korra?!" The Avatar reached across the table to cover her friends mouth. They were starting to get looks from the other customers.

"For heaven's sake Asami, keep it down!" Korra hissed. She let go of Asami so she could talk.

"Sorry, I was just a little surprised." Asami ran a hand though her hair and studied the child. "You know, her eyes remind me of someone, just can't put my finger on it. So who's the-"

"DADDY!" Korra Jr. hopped on top of the table to run across the bookstore. When she got to the entrance, Korra Jr. threw her arms around a man and started squealing. "I FOUND YOU!"

When Korra finally looked at the man her daughter was hugging, she couldn't hold back her laughter. Of course it had to be him. The fanfic writers never showed mercy on Korra in the past, why would they start now?

Korra continued to laugh as Mako stood there next to Bolin, eyes as wide as saucers, wondering why the hell he was getting smothered by a small child.

"HOW THE HELL IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!" Mako stormed out of the bookstore, the rest of the group in tow. "HOW DO YOU LEAVE TOWN FOR A MONTH AND COME BACK WITH A 5 YEAR OLD KID?!"

"Hey don't look at me like that. I'm just as confused about the whole thing as you are. So are you gonna help me raise her or not?"

"Raise her? How could I be the father if we never even FUCKED BEFORE?!"

"Hey guys! Not in front of the kid okay?" Bolin was crouched down next to Korra Jr., trying his best to cover her ears. "Parent's shouldn't argue in front of their kid, you can really mess them up!"

"You too, Bo? That girl is not my kid."

"Of course she's your kid, she's got your eyes and everything."

"THAT DOESN'T PROVE ANYTHING! I don't know what kind of game you're playing Korra but I'm sick of it."

"I'm not fucking around with you Mako! We had sex back in high school, and now we have a kid. Deal with it."

"We never went to high school together! What are you even talking about?"

"It's an AU thing, you wouldn't understand."

Mako grabbed a fistful of his hair and tugged at it. "You know what? I just can't deal with this right now. C'mon Bo, we're leaving."

"OH HELLLLL NO! YOU ARE NOT WALKING AWAY FROM ME!" Korra grabbed Mako's scarf and started to strangle him with it. Mako grabbed her arms and started to wrestle with her, pulling her down to the ground with his body weight. When they started to roll around on the sidewalk, Asami jumped in to try and break them apart. Korra was choking Mako and trying to break out of Asami's headlock when they were suddenly interrupted by a fireball soaring over their heads.

"STOP FIGHTING!" The three teens stopped fighting to stare at Korra Jr. in astonishment. Mako was the first to break the silence.

"Bo...did she just..."

"Yeah...I think she's a firebender."

"Oh. My. GOD! MY BABY'S A BENDER!" Korra shook Asami off and scooped Korra Jr. up into her arms. "AND A FIREBENDER AT THAT! Gee... I wonder where she got that from?" Korra flashed Mako a pointed look.

"...That doesn't prove anything Korra."

"Oh, we'll see. I'm going to make you eat those words."

"The improvements to the tank design are satisfactory Hiroshi, go forward with production." Amon hung up the telephone and leaned back in his chair. Despite the constant raid on his training camps, Amon had to say that he was quite happy with the weapons production side of things. Amon was about to pour himself a drink when he was interrupted by a knock at the door. "Come in Lieutenant."

"Sir. Avatar Korra is on the radio right now."

"Is she giving another press conference?"

"No sir. She is a guest on a talk show." Amon could just ignore the Avatar for now, since it wasn't anything mission critical, but his curiosity got the best of him.

"What station?"

"98.3 Sir."

"That will be all, Lieutenant." Amon's second in command closed the door behind him as Amon turned the dial on his radio.

bzzzzt- "Stop living in denial Mako! She has your eyes and she's a firebender."

"You're a firebender too Korra!"

"I'm the Avatar, it doesn't work like that and you know it!"

"I'm telling you Maury. I don't know what I did to Korra to make her treat me like this, but she has it out for me."

"What do you mean, 'I don't know what I did'? You knocked me up, that's what you did."


" Stop acting like a bum and take care of your child!"

"Why the BLEEP are all of you treating her like a saint? She is a violent alcoholic who killed some poor girl!"

"Mary Sues don't count holmes!"

"Yeah what that guy said. Plus I'll have you know that I stopped drinking!"

Well a drinking problem was something Amon and Korra had in common. Amon turned the volume up on the radio.

"You BLEEPing liar! You were drinking rum n' coke in front of your-"


"-Daughter today."

"Avatar Korra, we're you drinking in front of your daughter today?"


Amon smirked a little when the audience started to boo the Avatar.

"Hey BLEEP you guys! If you had 16 year old girls handing you porn of yourself, a sparkly bush hobo and a hog-monkey having a threesome as often as I do, you would start drinking too! Besides, I can't just quit cold turkey, the hangover might end up killing me. You have to slowly taper off of that BLEEP."

"Korra you are a terrible person. Why are you even doing this to me? It's because I'm with Asami, isn't it?! You're jealous of her so you're using Korra Jr. to get between us."

"Mako please...Everyone here knows the only thing I need to get between you and Asami is a bottle of 151 and a plate of nachos."




"You already did Mako. Did you forget the reason why we're here in the first place?"

"Speaking of the reason why we're here, THE RESULTS ARE IN!"

Amon leaned forward on the edge of his seat. He didn't want to miss this. The Avatar's life was like a damn Soap Opera.

"Mako, in the case of five year old Korra ARE the father!"



"Korra I'm-"


"Korra just let me ta-"





"Hold up, let me do the worm real quick. From now on, this will be known as the 'BLEEP you Mako' dance."



"Alright fine. You going to help me raise our child now?"

"YES! Just, please. Stop dancing. And just because we have a child together, doesn't mean I'm going to leave Asami."

"That's fine with me. Is it fine with you, Asami?"

"Seriously guys... why did you assBLEEPs bring me here? Both of you are BLEEPing retarded."

Amon turned off the radio and tried his hardest to hold in his laughter. "Maybe I'll delay my plans to destroy the Avatar." Even though Amon enjoyed the idea of ruining the Avatar's life, he found that it was a lot more entertaining to watch her do it herself.

"HEEEY Makoooo." Korra grinned. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" Mako scowled at her. It was just like her to show up at his place right when he was leaving.

"Korra you know damn well that I'm meeting Asami for lunch."

"Well, looks like you have to change your plans. Korra Jr. wants to go to the zoo." Korra nudged their daughter forward and watched her climb up Mako's body.

"It's your day to watch her Korra."

"Yeah I know. But my new job called and I have to fill in for a co-worker."

"Since when did you get a new job? Where are you working now?"

"It's not important, now take her." Korra dodged the question. It was already bad that Tenzin cut her off, but there is no way in hell she was going to let Mako know that she was working at Republic Fried Chicken. "Oh by the way, I bought her a large root beer float on the way here so she is really hyper and will probably have to pee soon."

"No. I'm not doing this Korra. You know I had plans today." To Mako's surprise, Korra didn't fight him.

"Alright, leave then." Korra pried their daughter off of Mako's back and stepped aside so he could go down the stairs.

Korra Jr. tugged on Korra's animal pelt. "Daddy's leaving..."

"I know sweetie."

Mako made it halfway down the stairs before he heard it. "Mommy, why doesn't daddy like me?" Mako's pace slowed to a crawl as the guilt started to set in.

"Daddy loves you sweetie, he just wants to spend some time with his girlfriend."

"Does Daddy love his girlfriend more than me?" Mako's heart lurched as he stopped on the bottom step.

"Of course not. Maybe he will take you to the zoo tomorrow." It was impossible for him to leave now. Mako walked back upstairs and lifted Korra Jr. into his arms.

"I guess I can change my plans and take you to the zoo with Asami. How does that sound?" Korra Jr. beamed at him.

"I told you he would come back if we followed the plan Kiddo." He gave his daughter a light squeeze and glared at Korra over her shoulder.

"That was a dirty trick Korra."

"Please... when I was her age I talked my dad into letting me keep a polarbear-dog. Being daddy's little girl is an art form that can take years to perfect Mako. Now what kind of mother would I be if I didn't pass on some of my secrets?" Korra kissed her daughter's forehead. "I won't be back from work until five so just bring her back to the island around that time."

"Whatever Korra."

"Oh yeah, one more thing. I'm gonna need about 40 bucks from you. Korra Jr. needs some new clothes."

"Are you being serious right now?"

"As serious as court-ordered child support."

Without another word, Mako pulled out his wallet and shoved some bills into Korra's hand. She counted the money quickly before she put the money in her pocket and descended the stairs. Korra shouted over her shoulder. "You two have fun now."

"Chief Beifong, where are we headed now?"

"We got a domestic disturbance call fifteen minutes ago. Normally I would let one of my deputies handle this, but due to the...location, I decided to handle this myself." Lin was starting to regret the deal she made with Republic City Radio. Why the hell anyone would want to listen to a reality radio program about police officers patrolling the streets was beyond her. But if the radio station was willing to donate extra funds to the RCPD then she won't complain about a few annoying reporters.

Lin crossed her arms and stared at the small island through the airship window. "We're heading to Air Temple Island."

Lin scowled as she felt a headache coming on. She just knew Korra was involved in all of this.




This was the scene Lin walked into after she descended the airship. At the moment, Tenzin had Korra pinned to the ground with a knee in her back to keep her from moving. The Earthbending boy was on the floor, crying his eyes out while the Sato girl was trying to dig her neck deep boyfriend out of the ground.



"Can't... Breathe..."


Lin placed her index and middle finger to her temple when her headache turned into a full blown migraine. Without a word, Lin stomped the ground and freed the firebender from his prison. Asami rubbed Mako's back as he gulped in mouthfuls of air.

"Well I was summoned out here on a domestic disturbance call but it looks like you have a handle on things here Tenzin, so I guess I'm not needed."

Tenzin removed his knee from Korra's back and stood up to straighten his clothes. "Not funny, Lin." He pointed to Korra. "Please...just do something." As soon as Korra stood up she was immediately wrapped up in Lin's metal bending cables.

"Damn Chief. I always imagined you would be a super-freak behind closed doors, but I never thought you would be into having an audience."

"Korra, Shut up. And you," Lin pointed to the reporter. "Edit out the Avatar's last comment. Now will someone please tell me what the hell is going on here?" Lin barked.


"Christ Korra! It was an accident!"



"ENOUGH!" Lin roared, startling the two teens into silence. When she was sure she had everyone's attention, she continued. "Someone better tell me what's going on in the next five seconds or I will lock up every single person here for wasting my time."

Mako raked his fingers through his hair to calm himself before he spoke up. "Well Asami and I took my daughter to the zoo today. Everything was going fine for the first couple of hours until-"

"You fucked up."

"Shut up Korra. I swear I only took my eyes off of her for two minutes."

"Because you were sucking face with Asami."

"Korra don't make me gag you. What happened next?" Lin asked.

"Well Korra Jr. kind of...opened-the-gate-to-the-armadillo-lion-habitat-and-released-all-the-animals!" Mako choked out.

Well that answered the question of what her deputies were gossiping about when she left the station. She probably had a report of the incident sitting on her desk right now.

"And now my baby is crying in her room because she is banned from the zoo!" Lin had to admit, if she was in Korra's position she would try to suffocate the man too. To be honest, Lin kind of admired how protective Korra was when it came to her daughter. She was acting like a Saber-tooth moose-lion.

An alcoholic, slightly retarded moose-lion, but a moose-lion nonetheless.

"So I'm going to assume that the Avatar attacked you when you came to drop your daughter off. Am I correct?"


"In that case, you have two options Mako. One: I release Korra and the two of you can work out whatever problems you may be having. Or two: You press charges and I take Korra down to the station."

Mako gripped his chin and thought for a second. "...I don't know."

"Wait...Mako, before you make your decision can I just say something first?"

He was a little skeptical, but he let her continue. "Yeah, go ahead."

"I can launch a fist sized rock at a rate of ninety-five miles-per-hour."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Imagine that same rock shattering your testicles."

"KORRA!" She flashed Tenzin an innocent look.


Before Mako could give Lin an answer he felt a little hand tug at his pants leg. He panicked a little when he saw his daughter looking up at him. Mako had no idea how she managed to sneak up on the group, he just hoped that his little girl didn't hear too much. "Daddy are you and Mommy fighting again?" He let out a sigh and patted his daughter on the head.

"No sweetie, we're just talking."

"Then why is the police lady taking Mommy to jail. Did she rob a bank?"

Korra spoke up. "No the nice police lady is just showing Mommy her metal cables. Right, Lin?"

Lin looked at Mako, wordlessly asking the firebender if he wanted to press charges. When Mako shook his head, Lin released Korra and retracted the cables into her suit. "That's right kid, I was just showing your Mom how my cables work." Lin turned to address the reporter. "Let's get back to the ship, it looks like we're done her-"


"Mommy!" Korra Jr. shrugged off Mako's hand and ran toward a man and a woman standing twenty feet away. The woman bent down to pick up Korra Jr. and swung her around in her arms.

"Um...Mako? Is it just me, or do those people look a lot like...?"

"Us, but older?"

"Yeeeeah...This is some real Twilight Zone shit right here..."

Korra Jr. dragged the two adults over. "Mommy, Daddy, I want you to meet my other Mommy and Daddy." Korra stared at her older self.

"'re Korra Jr.'s real Mom, but you're also me?" The woman gave her a strange look.

"I don't know why you're calling her Korra Jr., her name's Katara. Korra is the name of our first daughter." Korra balked at the statement.

"First daughter?! How many kids do you have?!" The man wrapped an arm around his wife's shoulders and smiled at Korra.

"We have eight kids, Katara's the youngest!"

"Wow...married with eight kids." Korra turned to Asami. "You might as well call it quits Asami. Because, damn, Game Over... like seriously."

"Will you stop picking on my girlfriend?"

"Well judging by the fact that future Korra and Mako are standing here right now telling us that we have eight kids, she won't be your girlfriend for much longer. It's like the fanfic writers want Asami to be a tragic character or something."

Mako turned to his older counterpart. "Seriously, what the hell do you see in that girl?" The older man shrugged his shoulders.

"I dunno, there's just something about her. You might not realize it now, but you will eventually."

Katara let go of her mother's hand and walked over to Korra. "I'm going to go live with my real parents now." Korra bent down and hugged her.

"Are you sure? You don't want to stay here with me and Mako?"

"Yeah. I want to live with the Mommy and Daddy who remembers my name."

"Hey! If you told me your name was Katara I would've remembered. You didn't even say anything when I was calling you Korra Jr." Katara just stared at Korra. This woman can't be serious.

Mako bent down next to the pair and put an arm around both of them. "Well Katara, I know you have to go back to your real parents, but I love you I'm going to miss you."

"Me too Kiddo." Katara stepped out of their embrace and ran to her real parents.

"You ready to go squirt?"

"Yes Daddy." Mako and Korra waved as the group watched the newly reunited family head toward the docks. When the trio disappeared from sight, they lowered their hands and stared at each other as the weirdness of the entire situation started to set in.

"Korra...what just happened?"

"A Deus Ex Machina, Mako. A Deus Ex Machina..."

"So just like that, we aren't teen parents anymore?"

"Yep...just like that." Mako raised an eyebrow.

"So...are we okay with that?"

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth Mako." She stretched her arms above her head "I'm hungry. You hungry?" To Mako's surprise, he actually was. He nodded to Korra and followed her into the house.

Lin, Tenzin, Bolin, Asami and the reporter stood in place, still trying to make sense of what just happened. The reporter slowly pressed stop on the recorder and whispered

"Best episode of Cops. Ever."

The rest of the group nodded in agreement.

AN: Hot damn, that chapter took forever to get out. Once again, I'm sorry this took so long, there were complications in the writing process (in other words, I renewed my xbox live subscription). Hopefully I will be able to adjust to a faster writing schedule. Still feeling a little rusty, so hopefully you guys enjoyed this chapter.

Now for some shameless self promotion. Since the last time I updated this story, I have come out with a new LOK Oneshot called 'Teacher's Aide', so go check that out. I have also added another chapter to 'Knock, Knock' so go read that if you like some Korra and Asami as much as I do. Also I mentioned at the end of 'Teacher's Aide' that I plan on branching out into Mass Effect, but I can't decide what story I want to write first, so I made a poll on my profile page, the options are:

1. Shepard making all the people who promised her drinks hold up their promise.

2. A poor sniper dealing with the frustration of Kill-stealing vanguards.

So if you are also a Mass Effect fan, please go ahead and vote on my profile page.

Now for the people who have been leaving me suggestions on new chapters: please keep making them, I love hearing your ideas. So far, I plan on writing a kidnapping fic, a crossover clusterfuck, a song fic, an amnesia fic and a 'Korra unknowingly dates the enemy' fic. In fact I'm going to do the Korra dates an enemy fic next chapter, so look forward to seeing plenty of Amon.

One more thing. FOLLOW ME ON TUMBLR. Please? Well if you are going to be that way I'm just going to post a preview of chapter ten later and not tell you about it. StillNotGoodAtThis, look it up.

That's it for now ladies and gents, see you next chapter.