A Dream Of Togetherness
Author's Note: So, while writing my other story "Silver Lines." I had this really great idea for a Heya story. It starts off in the beginning of shooting Glee's season 4 hence why there might be some spoilers, nothing too big, just pretty much where the characters are set.
I hope you guys like it; if you do let me know so I can keep writing, if you don't then… then just tell me anyway.
I really appreciate reviews; it really is a big part of what keeps me writing so if you're kind enough to leave one after you read this I'll be very grateful!
Enjoy your Heya feels!
Chapter 1. – A Faint Sign.
She buried her face deeper into her pillow, clenching the sheets in her hands and arching her back to try to ease the pain from another day of work; another day of filming, another day of dance numbers and doing playback; she had to admit, though, she wasn't used to having to work so much, or remember so many lines, for that matter. She had gotten used to being in the background, she had gotten used to doing silly moves with her best friend, she had gotten really used to being playful and relaxed…
Now everything felt so… heavy. It was as if nothing was fun anymore, between dancing in the background for a Blaine song and having to playback and act her own songs, nothing seemed the same… Nothing felt the same. Everything was different, so, so different…
She knew what was missing, she knew what was it that made her work not seem like a job, she knew what was it, or more accurately, who was it that made everything seem so easy and fresh. But there was nothing she could do, she had to accept that nothing was ever going to be the same anymore, they barely had any scenes together, and the ones they did seemed too short for her to be able to fully enjoy herself or her company.
Besides, it's not like she cared.
The one person she wanted the most to care didn't really stop to even think twice about her anymore, everything they went through throughout the three years they had known each other didn't seem to matter anymore, it all seemed a thousand miles away, she had to stop and focus on the details to make sure that certain memories actually happened and that it wasn't simply a way of her brain to torture her and create fake memories that haunted her day and night… But unfortunately, no, they weren't fake at all; they were actually very real, too real, but somehow she had lost the grasp on reality when it came to those specific memories.
Heather grunted, sprawling herself even more across her double size bed, now that Taylor had gotten a job back in LA he had moved there again and Heather found herself all alone on a house that had given her such memories, memories of Glee parties, sleepovers, drunken talks and late night cuddles.
None of that seemed real anymore.
By 4:22 am she had completely given up on sleeping, although her body pleaded to get some most needed rest, her mind failed to let her give into the tiredness and she always seemed to find herself laying awake on top of her sheets, sheets that had covered the most beautiful skin she had ever seen or felt in her entire life; caramel skin, that, she imagined, it tasted as delicious as it looked.
Ah, that caramel skin… It smelled like a sweet hot chocolate on a cold winter's night and a pinch of the most playful vanilla. Heather inhaled deeply, trying to regain the scent that she had filled her nostrils with so many times before… but the scent wasn't there anymore. Nor was its owner.
She shut her eyes and shook her head, forcing herself to stop trying to remember the feeling of that dark hair between her fingers, but the more she tried not to remember, the more her brain begged for her to.
She was so tired of it, so tired thinking about her, so tired of having to sleep alone, so tired of not having her on the set, she was damn tired of fighting with her own brain about it, fighting, telling herself that she's crazy, telling herself that she loves Taylor whole-heartedly, telling herself that Taylor is the right guy for her, telling herself that it's all in her imagination, telling herself that she can't be what she thought she might be…
It was all way too much for her to handle. Or maybe it was to handle on her own that seemed too much.
Maybe all she needed was that caramel skin lying next to her, falling asleep next to her, sharing a bed with her, living a happy life with her.
Heather punched her mattress in frustration and sat up, immediately resting her face on her hands; she definitely couldn't go on like that.
She reached for her phone on her nightstand in the middle of the darkness and pressed the unlock button, the screen shinning a blinding light into her bright blue eyes; she had to half close her eyes to even be able to catch a glimpse of the screen.
She sighed. She definitely had to change her background; that "Fate has laid a hand" image of them had been her background for way too long, and now every time she unlocked her phone it was like a shooting pain that went through her stomach.
Yep, 4:35 am…
She was ashamed to admit to herself that she was actually considering calling her… She knew it was late, she knew she wasn't really going to… but she did want to. She wanted to call her and talk to her for hours, just talk… just talk about them and talk about the past three years, talk about the future, talk about their feelings, talk about why they drifted apart, talk until there was nothing left to talk about talk until both of them got so sleepy they laughed at each other for absolutely nothing at all, talk until there was comfortable silence, just listening to each other breathing, the simple sound of her breathing was enough to comfort Heather.
She just wanted to call her. But she knew she couldn't, she would probably be sleeping with her boyfriend, even possibly having… sex with him. She would wake them both up for nothing, because she had no idea what to say to her, she probably wouldn't even answer the phone, and even if she did was probably to say that it was way too late for her to be calling.
A faint sigh escaped Heather's lips and she locked her phone, defeated. It was the fifth night in a row that she had done that; she always had this rush of courage run through her and she would always pick up her phone, but when it came to actually call her and hearing her voice… she never really plucked up enough courage for that; probably because she didn't know what would come from the other end.
She considered herself lucky, she was cast in a show that turned out to be very successful, her character grew into something she had never expected, she had the pleasure to meet the most wonderful people she had ever met, and she had grown much cherished bonds with several of them… well, with one of them, at least.
Yes, Naya Rivera was someone that Heather could never forget it was as if since she first laid her eyes on her she planted a seed that then grew and roots clenched themselves onto Heather's brain and suddenly everything was Naya and Naya was everything.
Fate has laid a hand…
"You okay over there?" Heather felt a hand tap her shoulder and she abruptly opened her eyes and looked back to find Lea looking at her with her eyes wide open, probably got scared from Heather's jump.
"Lea," She started, trying to calm her heart's fast rhythm. "Yes, I am thank you." She turned forward again and rubbed her very swollen and sensitive eyes, she had probably fallen asleep for a few minutes on her chair.
"Are you sure?" Lea dragged her chair and sat next to the blonde. "You seem very tired."
Heather shrugged her shoulders. "I guess I am."
"Is it only that?" Heather was used to Lea's concern, she had always been there for her and for everyone in the Glee cast, she always seemed to worry about anyone that didn't seem to be in their best moods and she this six sense that always knew when people were lying to her.
"Yes, Lea." Heather smiled, glad that at least Lea still cared about her…
"I know you know I know you're lying." Lea squinted her eyes and took Heather's hand in hers, gently caressing its back.
Heather shook her head, it was way too early and the two hours of sleep that she had gotten was way far from enough for her to be able to understand Lea's language. "What?"
Lea chuckled. "I know something's up with you, you're not the usual cheerful ball of light that you usually are, Hemo."
Heather sighed at the ground and tried to come up with some excuse, but she knew it was pointless lying to Lea. "I just miss her, that's all."
Lea tilted her head to the side and entwined her fingers with Heathers. "Aw, sweetie… I know you do, but unfortunately we don't get to choose what happens to our characters…"
Heather nodded understandingly. "I know, Lea, I know we don't… I was just used to having her around all the time." She started, feeling all of last night's thoughts and wonders resurfacing. "I just… I just don't understand why she doesn't call or text…"
Lea sighed along with her. "Come on, Heather, you guys are best friends. She's just busy with filming, that's all."
Heather forced a smile. "You're right."
"See, now don't you feel better?"
Not at all. "Yeah, I do, thank you, Lea." She lied, but the poor girl was trying her hardest to make her feel better, so might as well pretend that it worked a little bit.
"I have to go get ready." Lea patted Heather's hand before releasing it. "Will you be okay? Or do I have to call Naya to come cheer you up?"
Heather quietly laughed. "I'll be fine, thank you."
"That's the spirit. Why don't you invite your boyfriend over, I'm sure he'll be able to bring a smile to your pretty face."
Heather made an effort not to let her face fall at Lea's words. "I will."
Lea winked at her before walking away to get ready for her scene.
Lea was right, maybe she should call for him to spend a few days with her, maybe that would make her feel better or at least make her forget about Naya… After all, he was one of the reasons why she let them drift apart.
"Heather, Heather!" She heard Lea's high pitched voice call her from behind her and she turned around to face a breathless Lea with big curls on top of her hair. "You will not believe who's here!" Heather's stomach sunk, she couldn't possibly mean… "Naya!"
She felt as if all the air in her lungs froze and she couldn't inhale new air.
"N-Naya?" She stuttered, not really knowing how to react.
"Yes! See, she probably came to see you, you have to come with me!" Lea grabbed Heather's hand and pulled her out of her chair, ignoring the blonde's protests to let her go, Lea practically dragged her along the hallway until they got to the make-up room and Lea busted in the door without even knocking.
"Naya!" She called out, scaring the poor brunette who was peacefully flipping through a vogue magazine and then dropped it at her feet.
"Jesus fucking Christ, Lea, wha-" She instinctively barked before noticing who was on the other end of Lea's arm. "Oh."
"Heather was all gloomy missing you back there; I had to go get her." Heather felt her cheeks turn the brightest shade of red she could possibly think of and she refused to look at the brunette in the eyes who looked even more beautiful than she did before they started filming season four, she was in a black fitted dress with short sleeves a cleavage that showed her beautiful tanned skin.
Of course she looks gorgeous, why wouldn't she… I'm going to kill Lea.
"I have to go but you two should really catch up." Lea said before pushing Heather inside the room and closing the door behind her after she left, leaving the two of them in a very uncomfortable silence, avoiding any possible eye contact.
"Hey." Naya finally said, she tried sounding steady but her voice cracked due to the huge knot she felt in her throat
Heather finally looked up at her and whispered. "Hi." She started nervously fiddling with her fingers. "Sorry about this, Lea just literally dragged me here."
Naya chuckled, trying to hide the fact that she felt a little hurt at Heather's words. "Is it such a torture to see me?" She looked down at her feet with a faint forced smile on her lips.
"No, not at all." Heather managed to breathe out, she studied Naya for a few moments while the brunette tried to make peace with the thought that Heather didn't really want to see her. Naya bent down to pick Vogue up from the floor and then carelessly let it fall on the table to then turn her attention back to Heather who was staring at her with her mouth slightly open.
"I could give you a picture if you'd like." Naya crossed her arms noticing that Heather was blatantly staring at her. "Actually, there are probably a few million of those plastered around the internet." Her words came out more harshly than she had previously intended them to.
Heather furrowed her eyebrows, not really recognizing the girl that was so dear to her. "Sorry." She shoved her hands on her pockets and too two steps back, leaning her back against the door. She could feel anger beaming off of Naya but she didn't quite know why.
"I don't really have much time." Naya informed, avoiding Heather's eyes again.
"Of course you don't." Heather muttered in between deep breaths.
"What did you say?" Naya took three steps closer to Heather leaving them a lot closer than they had been for a few months.
Even though she was quite taller, Heather felt herself shrink to the size of a very dehydrated pea when Naya approached her. "I'm just saying." She started. "You're a big star now."
"Heather, I don't have to listen to your clever remarks." Heather felt her heart break just a little bit more when Naya said that.
The brunette turned her back to Heather to hide the tears that had started to form on the corner of her eyes.
"What is up with you, Naya?" The blonde couldn't help but let her pain show. "You've never talked to me like this." She took two steps closer to Naya regaining the closeness they had before.
"I don't know, it's probably because I'm a big star now, maybe now I can talk anyway I want to." Naya's voice was cracking more than she hoped for; she was visibly hurt with what Heather had said.
The blonde looked at her feet, feeling guilty for hurting Naya, she never wanted to hurt her… but Naya seemed so distant, so protective of her feelings.
Naya suddenly felt two arms wrap themselves around her waist and then a familiar body pressed against her back and she closed her eyes, letting Heather's heat and embrace take over her; the blonde buried her face in Naya's dark hair and inhaled deeply, taking in that heavenly hot chocolate smell that never changed.
Naya couldn't hold it in any longer and she let a single tear make the trip from her eye to her lips and she felt her stomach tremble and her chest rise up and then down quicker than normal, feeling Heather's arms holding her made so many repressed feelings surface, she wasn't made of stone…
"I'm sorry." Heather whispered into her ear, tightening her embrace. "I didn't mean it."
Naya started sobbing but she felt glad that Heather apologized; the last person she wanted thinking that way was Heather…
"I'm sorry too." She managed to slip between sobs.
"Turn around." Heather asked, giving her space to turn. The change of position made Heather and Naya's face much closer than Heather had measured in her head; Naya stopped crying, letting the warm sensation wash over her; she lifted her arms and rested them on Heather's shoulders, leaning in until she rested her forehead on the blonde's.
They both closed their eyes, enjoying the much needed moment that they had only dreamt about for the past few months, it felt so… comforting to have Naya in her arms.
"Look at me." Heather whispered, causing the brunette to connect their gaze. Heather simply shook her head and furrowed her eyebrows, having so much to say but so little courage to… So she tilted her head and went for Naya's juncture between her shoulder and her neck, planting soft kisses there and gently sucking when she got to Naya's pulse point; she made her way up her neck to her ear, then to her cheek where she kissed her for longer than supposed to; that caramel skin did taste as delicious as it looked, she had almost forgotten how Naya's skin felt like against her lips, but then again, she had never kissed Naya the way she was kissing her now.
"Heather." Naya moaned out, starting to feel her knees weaken, but Heather's strong grip around her waist prevented her fall, she didn't know what to think from Heather's actions, or what to do, her brain seemed to go blank and she shut her eyes, simply enjoying the feeling of Heather's soft lips against her skin.
"Mh?" Heather grunted, not wanting to stop what she was doing. She started moving her hands from Naya's waist, sliding them to Naya's lower back and pulling their bodies closer together.
"Heather, don't…" Naya really didn't want to stop what they were doing, but she couldn't let herself be led on again only to have her heart broken to a million pieces, she couldn't go through everything again, to get closer to Heather, to get used to her touch and her presence, she couldn't allow herself to feel everything all over again to then have Heather either back away or simply not move forward… She couldn't handle another disappointment.
Heather ignored Naya's plea and kept trailing kisses on the brunette's neck while her hands travelled up and down her torso.
"Heather, please… just stop." That made Heather back away almost instantly; she had let herself get carried away while Naya obviously wanted to have nothing more to do with her. She broke their physical contact and ran a hand through her lips to try to get rid of the lingering delicious taste of Naya's skin.
She felt embarrassed.
"I'm sorry." She started, her eyes wandering all over the ground. "I shouldn't have done that." She felt deep brown eyes on her but she didn't allow herself to glare back at them, she didn't want Naya to see how embarrassed she felt. "I should go." She turned around and moved towards the door but a grip on her arm stopped her.
"Heather, wait." Naya softly spoke causing Heather to look back at her; the brunette tried to swallow the big lump in her throat away. "I-" Naya had no idea what she was trying to say, all she knew was that she didn't want Heather to leave.
"Yes?" Heather tried, turning her body towards Naya but the brunette didn't seem to have any words to say to her; Heather felt her face drop. Of course Naya doesn't have anything to say to me, I made a fool out of myself. "I have a scene to shoot."
Naya nodded and released the grip on Heather's arms, the blonde left, closing the door behind her and leaving a very confused Naya leaning her back against the door.
You're an idiot, Naya. A fucking idiot.