Everything That's Currently Banned- Part 3
61: Date nights are banned.
(Sigh. I think it might have been a mistake trying to set Fury up…)
(…with a man.)
62: "In Soviet Russia" jokes are banned.
(Clint thought they were funny.)
(Tony thought they were funny.)
(Bruce was indifferent.)
(Natasha threatened to rip my tongue out.)
63: Drawing tally-marks on Charley's arms is now banned.
(It scared the shit out of me.)
(I still sleep with a baseball bat.)
64: Stealing people's things – banned.
(Clint stole my phone)
(I stole his bow.)
(He stole Loki's teddy bear.)
(I think he's hiding from the angry God.)
65: Head butting is forever banned.
(For some messed up reason, Loki and Thor greet everyone by head-butting.)
66: No speaking foreign languages – Natasha and Charley.
(Me and Natasha took enjoyment out of everyone's confused glances.)
("Hallo, wie gehts?")
(Natasha replied in Russian.)
67. Any phone that is not of Stark Industries is banned.
(Well screw you, Tony.)
(I like my iPhone.)
(I refuse to give it up because you don't like competition.)
68. Bricks are NOT TO BE PUT IN THE WASHING MACHINE!
(I had to teach Thor and Loki how to wash clothes.)
(I might've forgotten to tell them to take everything out of their pockets first.)
(We still don't know who had the brick…)
69. Make up is NOT to be put on Director Fury or Agent Coulson – awake or not.
(So me and Clint had a little fun with make-up.)
70. Scaring Norse Gods is forbidden.*
*Unless you will pay for the damage.
71. Teasing Agent Coulson over his relationship with the cellist is forbidden.
(Only because Clint made an inappropriate joke…)
(People are so touchy.)
72. Singing Justin Bieber or One Direction is banned.
(I don't know why there's a rule against this.)
(But I'm glad there is.)
73. Touching Coulson's computer and changing rules is banned.
(I changed a few rules.)
74. Coulson doesn't get ice-cream.**
75. Coulson is forbidden from getting time off to see his cellist girlfriend.**
76. Watching the news is forbidden.**
77. Flutes are banned.**
78. Coulson is a big fat meanie head who makes up mean rules.**
79. Dry cleaning is your responsibility, not the recruits.
[I realize this isn't actually a banned item.]
(What! No! I use them for my own purposes, Fury!)
(Everyone knows you do the same thing!)
80. Having sex in the kitchen is banned.
(Me and Peter got caught…)
(Tony and Bruce did.)
81. Having sex in the shower in banned temporarily.
(Key word: temporarily.)
82. Charley is no longer allowed to play her saxophone.
[Sort of a banned item?]
(Well, I know some people can't appreciate talent.)
("Charley, you only play random notes.")
(That's more than you can play, Clint!)
83. Throwing plates in Stark Tower is banned.
(It upsets Pepper.)
(Everything upsets Pepper…)
84. Shipping team mates is banned.
*Shipping: Wanting two people to be together romantically.
('Scuse me for wanting people to be happy.)
("Charley, you shipped Thor with his hammer.")
(He loves his hammer. They're my OTP.)
85. Taking pictures during a battle is banned.
(I wanted to post a few pictures on Instagram.)
(Fury got mad v_v)
86. Tweeting celebrities is banned.
(But-but-but Kellin Quinn!)
(He actually replied to me!)
87. Taking random baths is banned.
(I think he's doing this out of spite.)
(What am I going to do without my random baths?)
88. Yelling "make me a sandwich" at recruits is banned.
(Out. Of. Spite.)
89. Changing Jarvis' voice to a Scottish accent – no matter how funny it is – is banned.
(Yay for computer knowledge!)
(Nay for Jarvis being a tattle tale.)
90. Pepper is banned from reading raunchy novels in the living room.
(Pepper was reading 50 Shades of Gray.)
(Ew. Ew. Ew. Ewwwwww!)
(Her cheeks were red and she was sweating and EW!)
** Rules Charley Changed.
Brackets: Author's Note
I think from now on the chapters will only be about 10 to 15 items long. I would write them longer, but I won't have as much time, and this will mean there will be more chapters more quickly. I'm sorry for the lack of writing; I've just gotten back from my dad's and haven't had a lot of time to write. I'll try to write more during school, but I plan on actually making an effort this year. Thank you for reading, and look forward to the next 10-15 banned items in the next chapter.