Title: Irreconcilable Differences

Summary: It would never have worked out between them. Meta crack for the Asami and Mako break up. Warnings for comic book references and silliness.

Disclaimer: I only own my fanon Asami and her fangirl genre savvy. Why does she have random fangirl genre savvy? Because reasons.


"I never wanted to hurt you," Mako said, staring into the eyes of one of the finest women he knew. She was beautiful and brave and fun and generous. Only she wasn't the one he loved, but the one he was going to hurt. He'd ignored the truth long enough; it was time to be honest. "It's just – as much as I care about you, when it comes to Korra –"

"You don't have to explain," Asami answered him. She took a deep breath. "I saw this coming; I knew it would never work out between us. Not long term. The worlds we come from are just too different."

"Asami, bending or class has nothing to do with this…"

"No, it's not that Mako. It's, well, I thought you knew."

He looked at her, with confusion. This was not what he had expected to happen. There was a lot less anger for one thing. "Knew what?"

Asami took his hand. "Mako, I'm a Marvel. And you're a DC."

… Mako had no idea how to respond to that.

"I mean, we had a great meet cute and there definitely were sparks. And your firebending could have made you a Human Torch or even a Pyro, but the instant I found out about your parents, I knew we were on borrowed time."

Mako jerked back. "What about my parents?"

"Murdered before your eyes when you were eight? By a mugger?" Asami clicked her tongue and sighed. "It was so obvious; I almost couldn't believe it was true. You're totally Batman, Mako. Even if you do have superpowers and are not a billionaire, you're Batman."

"Uh…"

"And there was a chance I was Catwoman, I do consider myself a society girl with a fondness for animals and a willingness to break the rules, and we could have been in some sort of role reversal AU. But between everything that's gone down with my dad and his inventions, I couldn't deny the truth anymore. Electrogloves AND giant mechs? I starting putting together my own suit when we were in prison with a box of scraps they had lying around; I would have finished it if we hadn't been rescued." She stared deep into his eyes. "I'm Ironman, Mako." Asami paused a moment, then corrected herself with, "Well, Ironwoman. We are in an AU that allows for genderbending."

This was when Mako realized he had lost control of the conversation.

"Ironman is all Marvel and Batman is nothing but DC. True, they're a pair of billionaires bent on using their riches to act as vigilantes due to some deep-seated traumas, but that pairing's only going to work in an obscure crossover universe. Nothing canon will last," Asami explained earnestly. "And then there's Korra, with her bracelets and her mission to restore balance and her isolated upbringing. I get it, she's Wonder Woman, and everyone knows she and Batman have a thing that could be followed up in a canonical AU. It's okay, Mako. You guys are meant to be."

"I never meant to hurt you," repeated Mako, for lack of anything else to say. He had no idea what she was saying, but she seemed to be okay with them breaking up. "We'll still be friends, right?"

"Don't worry, team-ups are still in our future," Asami assured him. "I'll be okay. It's a little hard, with all the DC around, but General Iroh definitely pulled some Human Torch stunts during the battle and Chief Bei Fong has managed to be both Spiderman and Wolverine, thereby ensuring her presence in every team-up to come. I admit that I'm worried I won't find someone, since I don't have a Pepper and I missed Captain America by eighteen years or so – he's a canonical love interest when I'm, well, a woman, but it might count with his reincarnation, so who knows?" She mistook his confused and concerned expression for something else, because she went on to add, "Don't worry. I would never go for it unless you find a Selina. I promise. Just look out for Bolin, okay? He's probably a Robin, and they tend to have bad luck. Particularly when it comes to clowns."

That one he could handle. "I will always look out for Bolin."

She smiled. It was still a blindingly beautiful smile. "Great! I'm glad we had this talk. It feels better to get it out in the open."

He stood there awkwardly a moment. Asami made a little shooing motion. "You can go back and tell Korra I'm happy for her. I'm going to go lock myself in my father's workroom and see if I can streamline the mech suit and add some rocketboots. Airbenders shouldn't be the only ones who can fly."

Mako stumbled away. It was clear that he had never really known Asami at all. He wondered who Batman was. A vigilante, apparently. Well, he did need something to do with pro-bending off the table and there were still people like the firebender who killed his parents on the street …