Title: Crumple

Fandom: Lamb

Summary: Biff never got over it. Ever. One-shot.

Word Count: 438

You can't build a new house out of crumbling old bricks. You can't build a castle in the sand and expect it to stay.

Biff never really grew into his father's profession, but he knew enough about building things to know when threatened to fall down.

After the angel left Levi was alone. He felt – for the first time – as a man out of time. The hotel was stark and clean and all wrong around him. The room was loud but filled with all the wrong sounds. Car horns – and what were cars? – filled the air. The streets were of machines instead of men. The stalls of the past kept firmly shut behind walls and jingling doors. The air was of chemicals in place of spices. The women wore pants and the men talked like women. Nothing was as it had been though everything was as it should be.

He tried not to think. He tried not to think very often and thought himself better at it than some people. The time with the monks had taught him how to select his thoughts carefully – toeing around the painful or the embarrassing and bringing up nothing but the pleasant and womanly. He tried not to think – but, as always, Joshua was there anyway.

That was the thing about being the best friend of the Son of God – he - or was it He? - tended to be everywhere and consume everything. Josh was a natural beacon and Biff had been too close not to be burned.

Maggie was good. Maggie was always good, that was why Biff had loved her in the first place, but she was not Joshua and he was not Joshua and though they could cling to each other because of this it was also the wedge that would forever keep them separate. They would never be able to leave each other but neither could they ever be together. Even with her at his side, he felt more alone than ever.

Part of this, most of this, came in part due to Maggie's own capabilities in adapting. She took to this new world like a fish in water. Where she had once been shunned, she was now embraced. She, like him, saw Josh in all things. She, unlike him, was content – peaceful.

Biff was not peaceful. His center was gone. Joshua was gone and so nothing would ever be okay again. He had never gotten over it. The pain was just as sharp as it had been that first moment – that last breath.

Joshua was gone. Joshua had been killed.

And so Biff knew the world was crumbling all around him.