~ Allusion of suffering ~

Disclaimer:I do not own Drake and Josh, not am i profitting from this written work.

A/N: I'm back! This fic has been written at the request of Mrs bell 26, who asked me for another abuse story. I hope that it is not only to her liking, but to the liking of anyone who cares to read it. I'm going to try to keep the updates regular, but I have alot going on right now so my focus is scattered. I'm also working on an outline for an actual story all my own. If you like it, and want to boost my badly damaged ego and self esteem, reviews would be appreciated.

I hope you enjoy it.

~.~.~.~.~.

It never shold have escalated this far.

Drake let his head fall against his chest, heavy eyeslids hanging over his half open eyes. The tears had dried, buy he could still feel where they had streaked across his face. He could still taste them. His fingers twitched on the windowsill as he tried to calm his nerves, tried to relax. He was so tired of it all: the pain, the lies. They had built a wall around him, each memory a stone stacked so thickly he didnt think he'd be able to break free.

He'd been foolish to think he could handle this on his own, he knew that now. But it was too late. He'd pushed away anyone who could help him, everyone who cared. He'd been cruel, and he'd done nothing but lie to them. They wouldnt help him now, and he couldnt ask them to forgive him. They were angry, and he was too far gone. Josh had turned his back on him again, and that, he thought, was the hardest thing to bare.

Drake lifted his head, staring at the setting sun off in the distance. Its warmth was dying now, letting the cold embrace of night slowly creep upon the world. He felt that chill, and he knew the darkness that was coming very well.

Hesitantly, he pushed himself away from the window. Every footfall felt all too heavy as he moved toward his backpack. His body felt weighed down, and each breath felt thick. He pulled out his notebook, fighting back tears as he wrote out a note to his parents, to Josh. They deserved to know why. They needed to know that he was sorry, for the way he'd been acting, and for what he was about to do.

With trembaling fingers he pulled the bottle of pills out from their hiding place in his backpack and emptied them out into his sweating palm. He closed his eyes as he swallowed them, feeling his throat tighten as he forced them down. Drake wasnt fighting the tears anymore, he didnt have the strenth. He'd learned the hard way that he was weak. He accepted that now.

His hand was shaking worse as he pulled the razor out from his pocket where he'd stored it. He watched those last glimmers of light reflect off of its smooth surface before placing the blade against the vein i his wrist. He could feel his heart beating against his chest, the burning pain tingling against his skin. As he had so many times before, he pulled the blade across his skin, though this time he pressed harder, deeper. This time, it was for real.

Drake's eyes widened as he saw the blood flowing from the fresh laceration. He'd never seen so much blood before. He shook his head, bringing forth a wave of diziness and nausea. He swallowed the bile in his throat, coughing at the burn. He tried to switch the razor to his other hand, but his hands were shaking too hard now. His fingers stumbled with the blade and he watched helplessly as it fell onto the floor.

As he tried to kneel down and pick his fallen friend up from the floor he fell over. His heartbeat was echoing in his ears, and the blood from his wrist was still spilling out into the carpet. Drake could feel the empty touch of darkness pulling further down, into the carpets worn in fibers. This was it, the way his story ended. He tried to laugh, but all he could manage was a weak groan.

He wasnt sure if his vision was blurring from the tears, or the loss of blood and pills he'd injested, But in his fading, distorted sight he swore he saw Josh. A distant blob of shapes and colors racing toward him, desperatly calling his name.

Drake let his eyes close, away from the light, away from the life that still clung to him. He closed his eyes, and he remembered everything that had brought him to this.