L sat in the main room of the headquarters. It was late, but the rest of the task force members were still there working on the Kira case. Light sat in a chair next to him; no one was talking as they worked diligently. The detective's knees were pulled up to his chest as he stared blankly at the computer screen before him. His wide ebony eyes reflected the screen like mirrors as his thumb absentmindedly touched his lower lip.
Suddenly Watari's calligraphic W appeared on his screen.
"Ryuzaki, there are reports of more killings going on with criminals. I'm sending you the lists of names."
"Thank you Watari."
The W disappeared and L looked through the names. So many deaths…Kira was nothing but a serial killer. He thinks he is cleaning the world of criminals but he forgets that people change. These criminals are in prison for a reason, to change who they once were and learn from their mistakes. Kira fails to see that everyone changes.
L sighed and ran a hand through his messy black locks of hair.
"Um Ryuzaki?" Matsuda asked from behind him. "Perhaps we should call it a night…"
L blinked and nodded. "Very well. You all can leave if you wish."
He heard everyone in the room get up and leave the headquarters. The only one that remained was Light. L didn't understand though, Light was no longer handcuffed to him. L removed the handcuffs after being given a hard time for it. Light was innocent in everyone's opinions…except L's. The innocence Light used to have in his light brown eyes was gone. Light looked at L with the same expression he used when they first met. Arrogance, judgmental, loathing…it was all back in those eyes.
L could feel those eyes on him.
"Light-kun, you really should leave as well. I have work to do…" L said without taking his eyes off of the computer screen.
"Ryuzaki, I'm just going to stay here and work some more with you. I'm not that tired yet and I really think we're getting a lead on this Kira case."
"Well yes. Ever since we let Misa Amane go the killings have started again. I thought we had Kira when we captured Higuchi but I guess I was wrong…"
"Ryuzaki, you're still going on about Misa being the second Kira?" Light asked in an upset tone.
L narrowed his eyes ever so slightly and remembered the shinigami that was supposed to be in the headquarters with them.
"Where is the shinigami?" L asked distractedly.
Light looked around and shrugged. "I guess she got bored and left…"
L sighed and suddenly stood up from his chair. Light watched as the detective stretched slightly and turned towards the stairs.
"You may continue working if you wish, Light. I need to go shower…" L muttered.
The teenager didn't respond as L climbed the glass staircase towards his bedroom. Not too long ago he shared the bedroom with Light…but that was all over now. For some reason L's heart was heavy with longing. He wanted the teenager with him…he wanted to let his feelings for Light to be revealed. But he knew he couldn't. Light was Kira, no relationship could be between L and Light except being enemies.
L walked into the bathroom and stripped off his long white sleeved shirt. He tossed it onto the floor and walked over to the sink. He grasped either side of the metal counter and dropped his head so his black hair fell into his face.
"What am I doing?" he asked himself quietly.
His arms shook slightly as his grip tightened on the sink until his knuckles were white. He swallowed and suddenly felt very sick. He knew his time was coming. Light was Kira, he was set free and he lost. In the end L lost…after so much fighting and battles between him and Kira…he didn't win.
Usually L could handle himself when it came to feelings. He would just ignore them and keep his face emotionless. But this evening was difficult for him. He just couldn't get over the fact that he had lost and that not once did he let Light know how much he loved him.
Very suddenly L let out a strangled gasp as he felt the hot liquid well up in his eyes. No…he couldn't cry…not when Light was just downstairs. He couldn't show his weak side to his enemy! But…the tears won. For the first time in many years, L let tears run freely down his pale cheeks. He released the sink and slid down onto the tiled floor. He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them tightly.
He felt very childish by sitting on the floor crying but he couldn't fight his emotions any more. He lost…and his time was very near. He continued sobbing relentlessly; occasionally his gasps for air grew louder as the tears fell faster down his cheeks. He turned to look at the cabinet below the sink and opened it. Inside was a small box of little razors he kept.
This was L's secret.
The pressures he had being the world's greatest detective were great. He couldn't be famous without paying a price. Stress, anxiety, fear, anger…it all was bottled up inside him like a volcano waiting to explode. The fact that L might die very soon was too much for him to bear. He took a small razor and held it up to his left pale arm. Already there were many faint scars that he had inflicted on himself in the past years.
Very slowly, L applied pressure to his skin with the razor until he began to see red liquid seeping out from beneath the blade. He flinched slightly as more of the blood oozed out of the cut. The pain…it felt like he was releasing all of his emotions through this cut in his skin. He bit his lower lip as he made the cut deeper, the blood began running down his pale arm in dark red zigzagging lines.
He was pulled out of his pain when the sounds of knocking could be heard on the bathroom door.
"Ryuzaki? I thought you said you were going to take a shower…I don't hear any water running," Light's voice said from the other side of the door.
L's ebony eyes welled up with tears again. Light you are such a good actor…he thought bitterly. To pretend you're actually worried about me…that's well played.
"Ryuzaki?" Light asked in a concerned tone.
L remained silent. He prayed that maybe Light would leave eventually. But he forgot how stubborn the teenager was. After a few minutes he heard a metallic clicking sound. Shoot, L thought worriedly. He forgot that there was a key to unlock the door above the doorway…
The door was flung open and Light stood there looking around the bathroom. The brunette's gaze eventually settled on the detective sitting on the floor, blood seeping out of his self-inflicted wound. Instantly the teenager rushed over and bent down next to L.
"Dammit Ryuzaki what happened!?" Light demanded. He grabbed the detective's wounded arm and pulled it close to him so he could examine it. His gaze traveled from the deep cut to the bloody razor held in the detective's right hand and his eyes narrowed.
"You did this to yourself…" he muttered. It wasn't a question, just a statement. L lowered his eyes to the ground in embarrassment.
"Why did you do this?" Light asked, his amber eyes moving up to meet the detective's.
L didn't answer and Light glared.
"Tell me Ryuzaki. Why did you do this to yourself?" he asked again. L refused to look at Light and eventually the teenager reached over and grabbed the detective's pointed chin gently. He forced him to meet his eyes and they stared at each other intensely.
"You…" L mumbled, his words went unheard by Light.
"What?" Light pressed.
L swallowed, his heart was beating profoundly in his chest. He couldn't tell Light…he couldn't tell the teenager about how he truly felt about him. It would ruin everything and only add to the humiliation of his defeat. So L turned his eyes back down to the floor and Light released his chin.
"Fine, remain silent. I'm going to clean up this mess," Light growled.
L watched as Light got to work cleaning up the blood. First he wiped up the floor with a paper towel, spraying bleach to make sure and get rid of any presence of it. Then he took the razor out of L's hand and threw it in the trashcan. He spotted the whole box full of razors and without a word; he threw it into the trashcan as well. When he finished that he turned to the detective who sat motionlessly on the floor still.
Light sighed and took out a first aid kit from below the sink. He set to work wiping the blood off L's pale skin. L swallowed against his tight throat as he felt the teenager's warm fingers move across his cold pale skin gently. Carefully, Light placed a band aid over the cut with some Neosporin and then he was finished.
They sat there for a while in silence, neither one spoke. Then Light reached over and grabbed a towel. He gently wrapped it around the detective's frail and bony shoulders.
"You must be cold," he said softly. "This should help."
L closed his eyes as this happened. The warmth of the towel around him felt nice…but Light's warm hands on his skin was even better. The teenager started to stand up when L grabbed his pant leg. Light froze and stared down at the detective.
"R-Ryuzaki?" he asked in surprise.
"Don't leave me alone…" L whispered.
Light stood there a moment longer before his shoulders slackened.
"Well we can't stay in here all night. Let's go to bed shall we?"
L blinked but didn't move. To his utter amazement he felt Light's arms wrap around him and carefully stand him up. When the detective was standing at last, Light wrapped a comforting arm around his shoulders and led him out of the bathroom. They walked into the bedroom and sat down on the large king sized bed. Light sat close to L, the detective relished in the feeling of the teenager's warm body next to his. It was as if they were handcuffed again…
After a long minute of silence, Light finally spoke.
"So why did you do it?"
L closed his eyes as he breathed in slowly, trying to calm his racing heart. Finally he spoke, his eyes flashed open as he stared at the dark room before him.
"I lost…" he whispered.
"What do you mean?" Light asked, his voice was filled with confusion.
L turned to look into the teenager's concerned eyes. "I lost the game…Kira won."
Light stared into the ebony eyes and then sighed while looking away. "Can't you just drop it Ryuzaki? Kira didn't win; you're still very much ahead of him. Trust me; I know you'll win in the end. The great detective L will always win."
He heard the bitterness in the teenager's voice in the last few words. Just like Kira would respond…act innocent and deny that L had lost. L swallowed as his heart beat picked up again. He couldn't hide it any longer. This might be the last time he could ever be alone with the teenager. He had to make the most of it.
L turned and without warning, he reached up and pulled the teenager's head down so their lips met. Light was frozen with shock; his lips were unresponsive to L's. But L continued kissing those surprised lips. He needed the teenager, needed him more than anything in the world. More than he needed sleep…more than he needed sweets…
Light placed a hand on L's shoulder and pushed him away. His face was flushed pink with embarrassment.
"R-Ryuzaki…why did you-?"
"I love you Light," L said quietly.
Light blinked and swallowed. He reached up and caressed the detective's thin face.
"I thought you hated me…"
L lowered his eyelids slightly. "How could I hate the one person who makes me feel more alive than anything?" he whispered.
With that said, L leaned in again, his lips meeting the teenager's. This time Light responded to the kiss and kissed him back. L sucked on Light's lower lip gently causing the teenager to moan in response. As soon as Light's mouth was open he plunged his tongue into the hot wet cavern. He explored every inch of it, every molded tooth, every inch of the teen's tongue. He tasted the brunette, his mind reeling with longing. He wanted Light more than anything at that moment.
L placed hands on the teen's chest and slowly pushed him backwards onto the mattress. Light moved backwards without breaking the kiss as they moved to the middle of the bed. Eventually L moved his lips away from Light's mouth allowing them both to catch their breath. But he moved his lips down the teenager's throat, placing kisses gently on the warm golden skin. He reached up and carefully unbuttoned the shirt, one button at a time until Light's perfectly sculpted chest and abs were revealed. L kissed his way down Light's chest, pausing on a darkened nipple to suckle on it resulting in Light to gasp with pleasure.
L continued his way down Light's body towards the waistband of Light's jeans. He carefully unbuckled the teen's belt and undid his pants. He slowly slid the tan pants down the teenager's legs until all he wore was his underwear and his unbuttoned shirt. L placed a hand on the growing bulge in Light's underwear, feeling the heat rise from it. Gently he began massaging the bulge while kissing the tender skin above the waistband of the underwear.
"Ah! Ryuzaki…mmm…." Light moaned as the detective slowly licked the soft, tender skin.
Eventually Light's erection was straining against his underwear and was very noticeable. L pulled down the underwear slowly and eventually Light's member was free of its confinement. L eyed the erection as it stood tall and then he moved over it. He lowered his head and gently kissed its weeping tip. In response Light let out a low moan as L slowly took in the length, swirling his tongue delicately over the hot skin.
"Mmm! Ah! R-Ryuzaki…ah!" Light moaned as L bobbed his head up and down on Light's length. It felt wonderful to taste the teenager; he continued to skillfully suck on the length until Light spurted inside the detective's mouth.
"Ah!" he groaned and then saw the white liquid dripping down the detective's chin. His eyes widened and he bit his lip. "I'm sorry Ryuzaki…" he breathed through heavy pants.
L licked the cum and swallowed it before slowly moving back up so he hovered above the brunette's handsome face. He bent down and brushed his lips teasingly over Light's before licking down the length of Light's neck. The teenager's moans spurred L on as he continued to lick his way over flawless tan skin. L lowered his hips so the bulge in his pants rested against Light's member. Gently he began moving his hips up and down, bringing pleasure to both of them.
Eventually Light couldn't take it anymore and reached down, his fingers fumbled with the button and zipper of L's baggy jeans. Eventually the pants were undone and the teenager eagerly reached inside L's underwear to feel the detective's length. L's eyes rolled back slightly as Light gently stroked him. Then Light picked up the pace and began pumping him with quick hard jerks.
"Mmm…oh…" L moaned as he arched his back to let the teen pleasure him more. He came a little in Light's hands and he looked down at the teenager with heavily lidded eyes. He lowered his head so his lips were at Light's tender ears. He licked the ear gently before speaking.
"Do you want me inside of you?" he breathed, his hot breath brushing against the teenager's silky light brown hair.
Light moaned lightly and nodded. "Yes," he whispered.
L smirked slightly and lowered his hands to lift Light's legs up. The teenager gasped in surprise as L placed the tan legs on his shoulders and leaned down to kiss Light. The kiss was hot and wet and oh so delicious. As he kissed he reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a small tube of lube. He squirted some onto his fingers and rubbed it around, coating three of his digits with the cool gel. Then he lowered his hand to Light's entrance and carefully slid one finger inside. Light gasped in surprise but his eyes were filled with pleasure.
"Want another?" L whispered.
"Mmm yes," Light breathed between heavy panting.
L inserted another lubricated finger and began massaging Light's warm insides. He was tight, the muscles flexing and contracting around L's slender fingers. Light began moving his hips up and down on Light's fingers wanting more. L grinned and inserted one more finger causing Light to gasp loudly and clench his teeth. It must've hurt him, but soon Light began impaling himself on L's fingers again.
"More…I want more of you…" Light moaned.
L swallowed as he stared into the teenager's lust filled gaze. He nodded his consent and pulled his fingers out of Light's entrance. He lubricated his member thoroughly before pressing his tip against that puckered entrance that was hot and throbbing with desire.
"Please...I want you inside of me L…" Light pleaded.
Kira was begging to have L fuck him raw. L was pleased, L was victorious and L was turned on. Gently he pressed so the tip began sliding in. Light moaned loudly and L eventually slid his entire length inside.
"AH!" Light yelled in ecstasy as he felt L's hot length inside of him. His muscles contracted causing L to be squeezed. L winced and grunted.
"Relax Light…you're too tight for me to move…" he said.
Light closed his eyes and eventually the muscles relaxed and L was able to move. He pulled out slightly causing the teenager to whimper but quickly slid back inside of him. He continued this, moving slowly in and out of Light's heat. But then he felt fingers knot in his raven locks of hair and Light was panting loudly.
"Faster…Ryuzaki move faster," he begged.
L paused mid thrust and stared at the brunette. "Are you sure?"
Light nodded wordlessly, his lips parted as he expressed the pleasure he was feeling. L did as he was commanded and began thrusting harder in Light. He slammed repeatedly into Light, both of their moans growing louder. Their breathing became labored as they both reached the climax of pleasure. L angled himself and thrusted deep into Light until he hit that special spot that had the teenager seeing stars.
"Ah! AH! L…I'm gonna cum! AHH!" Light yelled as L continued to hit Light's prostate over and over again. Before long Light could hold it no longer and he released onto both L and his chests. Shortly after L released as well and he slowly slid his length out of Light's heat and collapsed onto the teen with exhaustion. He rolled off and they lay side by side next to each other, both breathing heavily as the sweat dripped off of their bodies.
Eventually Light turned his head and looked at L.
"I love you L…" he whispered.
L's breath caught in his throat when he heard those words. Did Light really mean it? Or was it just him acting again? L really hoped it wasn't the latter. He looked over; he stared blankly at Light whose eyes were filled with passion.
"I love you too Light-kun."
Light smiled gently before closing his eyes. Eventually his breathing slowed and he was fast asleep. L closed his eyes as well and fell into a dreamless slumber. When morning came, he opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling.
He sat up slowly and yawned, stretching and scratching his head. He looked over at a clock and saw that it was almost noon. As he sat in silence he began to hear something. At first it was faint, but gradually it became louder. It sounded as if it came from outside. What was that noise? It sounded like…bells.
A groan could be heard next to him as Light turned over in to face L. He opened his amber eyes and smiled up at the detective.
"Good morning Ryuzaki," he mumbled.
L stared at him. "Light-kun, what day is it today?" he asked.
Light thought for a moment before responding. "November 5th, why?"
L swallowed and looked down at his bare toes.
He didn't understand it. This day should be like any other. But the bells…they were growing louder in his head. For some reason, each heartbeat of his felt like a clock ticking down his last moments…alive.