Starting Over?

Sorry it's so late again but I just can't find the time to write, but here it is!

Even though we had 'made up' as people put it, things still felt cold, awkward even, it seemed like Julia didn't want to be around me like she was scared which made me feel sad and also made me feel angry, How could I have possibly done it, with everything I have to lose? Was the only thought running through my mind.

Here I was in the sitting room while the woman I love is in her bedroom scared of me! No, I will not let this happen, I am going to prove to her I can do this, Me Barnabas Collins, will forget the blood, for her, Dr. Julia Hoffman, I stood and began to walk down the hallway and as I made my way up to Julia's Chamber I felt guilt, sadness and regret it came over me like the plague, How could I have been stupid? When I finally made it up to her Chamber door my breathing heavy I knock on the door, "Madam I am just nipping out for a bit will you be okay my love?"

"I'll...I'll be fine", she replied I could tell she had been crying her voice was weak and quiet I could only just about make out what she said but I suppose it was my fault she was like that anyway.

"Okay", I replied and I walk toward the door grabbing the black umbrella and opening it before I put my foot out the door, the air was cold just like the atmosphere in the mansion but the sun was still shining down, I walked down the long concrete path until I got to this shop, I walked in, the people already in the shop turned and stared at me, don't retaliate, think about Julia and you're promise! So I just tilted my head and walked towards the flowers, they were so beautiful and reminded me of her, their beauty and their smell all of her qualities in these flowers so I picked them up and made my way to the counter.

"£1.50 ... please" he said while stretching his hand out.

I handed him the money and gabbed the flowers, "Thank-you kind sir" I managed to force a smile and he managed to force a smile back.

I left the shop and returned to the cold air, walking down the path holding the flowers. It didn't take too long and I was back at the Collinwood Mansion, as I entered the mansion I shouted out for her, "Julia...Julia...Julia?" my heart skipped at beat as I ran down the hallway to her chamber a million things running through my mind, has she left me? What have I done? This is my fault! As I came to her chamber door I was relieved to find a note it said, "Gone out for a drink", I must say I was relieved but then thoughts bombarded my head again, when will she be back? Which pub? How long for? How long ago was this? Will she be back soon? Calm down Barnabas, breathe.

After I had calmed down I decided I would surprise her further and make us dinner, so I made my way down to the kitchen and firstly I put the flowers in a beautiful glass vase then raided the cupboards.

-2 hours later-

The meal was ready the table was set, but still no sign of Julia, How could she do this to me? What if something has happened to her? I should go look for her but where would I look? I decided to go sit down and watch the contraption called the televisiontake my mind of things so I made my way to the sitting room, sat back into the sofa and watch the 'television' but no my mind could not be distracted, Julia still remained firmly planted inside my head, I started pacing it had been yet another hour and no sign of her. My anxiety turned into anger I know I had done wrong but I didn't deserve this? Or did I?

-Meanwhile-

I had been at the pub for about 6 hours and I've had one drink! I can't drink because I feel like I could throw up at any moment. Really I came to the pub to think, to think about me and Barnabas, our relationship and what going to happen next, I was in the middle of my thoughts that I hadn't realised the time it was 11:00pm, "Shit!", I downed the whiskey, grabbed my bag and ran out of the pub.

The cold air hitting me like a bullet, I walked down the path making my way back to the mansion still thinking about Barnabas, I still love him, I can't help but love him, but what if he can't keep his promise, I'll be the one to get hurt and I don't want to get hurt! My thoughts occupied my head all the way home and as I walked up the Mansion I felt a sudden surge of anxiety, I shook myself off and opened the door and it was dark, "Barnabas?" I made my way to the kitchen to find a beautiful candle-lit dinner, tear filled up in my eyes, I dropped my bad and ran down the hallway finding the light from the television shining through I ran into the room, "Barnabas I'm so-"I trailed off he was asleep but he didn't look peaceful like the time he had slept in bed with me he looked irritated, angry and sad the guilt winded me and I made my way to my room.

So what do you think? I know it was kinda boring I promise chapter 6 will be more interesting! Any review and tell me what needs work, Love you all!