Conversation Under a Stairwell


"Yes John?"

"Why did you have to go and insult that guy?"

"He started it."

"He was with the Russian mob you idiot, now we're stuck under a staircase in an abandoned old house and its pitch black in here."

"I didn't know he was going to react so violently!"

"You told the man his mother had never loved him and then proceded to announce to all his goons that he liked little kittens and men!"

"I don't see what the fuss is all about, why should he care?"

"I give up…"


"Oh brother…"



"Did you turn the stove off?"

"You were the one over there, I thought you had."

"Oh, well, I didn't."

"Great, just great."

"Mrs. Hudson will turn it off when she goes upstairs to check on things."

"Umm, Mrs. Hudson went to her sister's yesterday Sherlock, she isn't due back until tomorrow."

"Lets hope nothing burns too badly."





"Watch your head John, the stairs are rather close."

"Oh shut it."



"Say John, do you mind moving your knee?"

"Only if you move your hand."

"I don't have any where else to put it."

"Neither do I."

"Are you sure you couldn't put it else where? While I do enjoy a good chiropractic adjustment once in a while a knee in the back for an overly prolonged period of time is not comfortable."

"Well I'm sorry, but considering this space is only about a foot and half deep and two feet long, there really isn't much room in here for seating. I'll try but I don't promise anything."

-shuffling commences-


"Slightly, if you consider that now I'm pretty much sitting on you."

"Thank goodness you're as skinny as you are."




"How long do you reckon before someone notices we're missing this time Sherlock?"

"Three or four hours depending on how long we've actually been in here, I was supposed to meet Molly at the lab to get some new body parts."

"You think she'll notice if you don't show?"

"I would hope so; otherwise we'll be here for the night."

"Great, just what I wanted to do tonight, sit under an old stair case with my flat mate in my lap and all his bony bones pressing into me."

"I'm not that bony."

"Yes you are, you need to eat more."

"Digestion slows me down. You know this."

"Whatever. You're still a bony devil."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am, oh whatever, you won't let this go no matter how long I argue."




A/N: So this is kind of a spin off from my other Conversation fic, I'm thinking of doing a series of them, various situations and settings of course. I'd appreciate any ideas for conversations, settings, who's in the room/space together etc.

So, leave me a review letting me know what you think,

^_^ KB