A/N: Very recently I have found myself transfixed by the mythos surrounding the "Something Awful" creation "The Slender Man" (or Slenderman if it pleases you), to the point that I have been losing large amounts of sleep to it. With that in mind I realized I was desperately in need of an escape from it, a humorous spin perhaps, so this concept was born. I don't really believe there is any other fictional character or group of characters more suitable to face the Slender Man than the Ghostbusters. I will be updating as much as possible and aim for this story to be 10k+ words, no promises though.

Also, I promise that the chapters after this will be more fun and have less of the typical Slendy stuff. Hope you all enjoy!

1

New York, New York, 1999

It was a fairly nice morning, but that didn't matter much to Oscar Barrett, walking to school, no matter how nice the morning is, is still walking to school. Nate Ross, a 5th grader one year ahead of Oscar had often spun stories about skipping school and going other places instead. It occurred to Oscar that he could go wherever he wanted that morning; his mother no longer accompanied him on his walks to school and without her watchful eyes fixed on him, he could skip school altogether. Oscar thought about that for a moment as he walked, running his hands through his hair which his mother had labored on earlier that morning. My mom still does my hair every morning, Oscar thought to himself. How embarrassing. He scratched the thought of skipping school from his mind altogether, he had no money and with his mother on her day off he had nowhere to go.

So Oscar walked down the sidewalk, kicking along a rock, and dreading the Monday, as any child in their right mind would. Cars lined the street and people walked back and forth, most of which were going to work, but something caught Oscar's eye. Across the street in a very small alley stood a man, a man Oscar only saw in the corner of his eye, but something about this man captured Oscar's attention. Oscar stopped walking and turned his full gaze to the man. It was hardly a normal guy standing in that alley, he seemed to be at least seven feet tall, possibly taller, with abnormally long arms, stretching down to his knees and appeared to be wearing a business suit. Most of those things seemed odd to Oscar, but what he found the most strange was that there wasn't a discernible facial feature on the man's bald white head. Oscar rubbed his eyes, thinking maybe his tiredness was blurring his vision, when he looked back at the alley, he saw no one, no trace of the man. Oscar looked in every direction, but the strange man was nowhere to be found. Uneasily, Oscar continued walking towards school.

As Oscar scaled the school's front steps, he tried to put the strange man in the back of his mind, it wasn't something he should've spent much time thinking about, he had only seen the man for ten seconds and hadn't gotten a good look at him, Oscar wasn't even completely sure the man was even there. There or not, the man left more of an impression on Oscar than what made sense to him. He entered the building, maneuvering through the crowd of his fellow students and entered his classroom. Joshua, a friend of Oscar's, greeted him warmly and inquired on Oscar's weekend.

"Hey Josh," Oscar said half-heartedly, "weekend was good." With that, Oscar sat at his assigned desk and class began. As class progressed, Oscar thought less and less about the strange man he had seen and focused more on the task at hand, memorizing vocabulary words. After perhaps an hour of school, boredom began to creep up on Oscar. School never really interested Oscar, much like any other child, so he began to lose focus, his eyes wandered the room and to the window. As soon as he looked, he wished he had not. From the second story window, across the street from the school, Oscar saw the man again. Oscar only looked for a second before immediately turning his head right to the front of the classroom, but he could swear the man was looking up at him. Nervously, Oscar looked out the window again, but just like earlier that day, the man had disappeared.

Oscar tried his hardest to focus again, but his mind kept returning to the strange man. Who is he? Oscar thought, fearfully. What does he want from me? Oscar's body was trembling with fear, his stomach turning with anxiety. Why does this bother me so much? He hasn't done anything to me; he never tried to hurt me. Oscar's fear had obviously shown, because his teacher, Mrs. Johnson placed a comforting hand on Oscar's shoulder, eliciting a startled reaction and a loud yelp.

"Oscar what's the matter?" The teacher inquired, very startled.

"You scared me!" exclaimed Oscar, not willing to tell the whole story about the scary man. Mrs. Johnson gave Oscar a look that said something like, you know what I meant.

"You were shaking Oscar," persisted Mrs. Johnson, "what's wrong?"

"I just . . ." Oscar started, "I need to go to the bathroom." Mrs. Johnson frowned at that, and pointed to the hall pass.

"Make it quick." She said sternly. With that, Oscar hurried to the door, snatched the ruler marked 'hall pass' and ran down the hall towards the bathroom, he really did feel the urge to go, but he also wanted to get away from the window, away from where he saw the man. He made his way to the bathroom and made use of the urinal. Oscar made his way to the sink, washed his hands hastily and turned to leave, but there was something wrong, the man stood before Oscar in the doorway of the bathroom. Oscar saw the man up close and saw with complete certainty that the man had no actual face. Oscar backed into the corner and screamed, collapsing onto the cold tile floor, the man simply watched.

"Go away! Go away! Go away!" Oscar yelled, curling up and crying. He closed his eyes, expecting the worst. Oscar cried on the bathroom floor for close to ten minutes before Mrs. Johnson entered the bathroom.

"Oscar! What's wrong?" she inquired urgently as she tried to pick him up.

"The man . . ." Oscar gasped. "He's following me; he's some kind of stalker!" Oscar tried to explain, fighting to stay on the floor.

"What man Oscar?" Mrs. Johnson questioned. "There isn't anyone here but us." Hearing that, Oscar opened his eyes and looked around the bathroom and the man was nowhere in sight. Oscar then cooperated and stood up when Mrs. Johnson pulled him.

"There was really a man in here Mrs. Johnson, I swear!" Urged Oscar. Mrs. Johnson ignored this and guided Oscar out of the classroom and down the hallway.

"Come on honey," Mrs. Johnson started, "we're going to the office to give your mom a call." Oscar didn't know what to say, maybe it was best, he always felt most at ease with his mother around. Within half an hour he was sitting on a comfy chair in the main office with his mother, one very distressed Dana Barrett, kneeling before him.

"What did he look like, sweetheart?" his mother asked in concern.

"He was really tall, and pale white, with hands that went to his knees, he wore a suit and was bald with no face!" Oscar said in a frenetic manner. Dana frowned, much like Mrs. Johnson had frowned at him earlier.

"Oscar, are you making this up?" His mother asked very firmly. "You aren't too old for a spanking, you know." She added.

"It's all true, mom, really!" Oscar pleaded. Dana felt her panicked son's forehead, stopped, then kissed his forehead.

"I think you're running a fever, sweetie." Dana said with renewed concerned. She looked at the women sitting behind the front desk. "I'm taking him home." Dana told the woman.

"You got it, lady" said the rather disinterested middle-aged woman. Dana held her son's hand and walked him out of the office and out of the building. No words were exchanged on the ride back to their apartment. When they arrived home, Dana gathered some blankets and pillows, cooked up some soup and let her son lounge in the living room on the couch, they watched TV for the day, and the thoughts of the scary man became a distant memory to Oscar. Oscar was asleep on the couch around 8:30 and an hour later, Dana carried him into his bed. He's getting too big for this. Dana thought as she held her ten year old son in her arms.

After putting him in his bed and tucking him in, she made herself some dinner and lounged in the living room, eventually dozing off on the couch. She awoke a couple of hours later and ventured into the hallway. Dana opened the door to Oscar's room, simply to check again to see if her son was running a fever, all that talk of a faceless man in a suit and tie caused great concern in Dana, the last thing she needed was for her only child to suffer a nervous breakdown. Her concern may have saved her son's life, because as she opened the door, a crack of light from the hallway fell into the dark bedroom and she saw the man, his imposing figure demanded attention, tall and thin, his arms long and outstretched towards Oscar, asleep in his bed."

"No!" Dana screamed as she sprinted towards her son's assailant. She was mere inches away from the man before he disappeared into thin air, Dana ran straight into the wall.

"Mom? What's wrong?" said the small and tired voice of her son. Dana rushed to Oscar's bed and held him close to her.

"It was him Oscar," she panted. "It was the tall man you told me about, I'm so sorry I didn't believe you." Before Oscar had time to speak, Dana rushed him out of his room, pushed him down the hallway and into the living room. She sat her son onto the couch and reached to pick up the phone off the receiver. She knew who she was going to call.