A/ N. Just a one-shot sort of thing including my OC Andrea from Redesigning Sanity. Might fit in with the RD plot, might not. But I liked it. So enjoy, read, review. Mainly review. I have a really smutty version of this, but I wasn't sure if I wanted it up or not.
The Joker had escaped from Arkham…. Again.
"Anyone missing?" Andrea asked the guard at the door. They were hiding out in an old abandoned factory. Joker's goons had it and the buildings surrounding it, rigged with surveillance cameras. Just in case a certain Bat planned on crashing the coming home party.
"Just that Harley chick, Dee. Other than that, everyone we contacted is here." Ralph replied.
He had been with Joker the longest, with the exception of Andrea. He was in it for the money and the thrill. It was easier to send out Ralph to bring in the crazies wanting to work for the Joker, than risking Andrea. She was the public face of Joker's team. No one had yet to suspect her in association with the madman. In fact, no one had clued in that the costumed villain known only as DollFace was indeed Andrea Masque.
"Excellent. We don't need her." Andrea turned to move back into the meeting room.
"Hey Dee, you don't like Quinn, do yah?"
She turned over her shoulder to look at him. "No. No I certainly don't." Andrea flatly responded. "If anything unusual shows up, come get me. Joker doesn't like to be interrupted."
"…annnnddd that's how we'll make this city fall to its knees." Joker had finished explaining his scheme to the 6 men seated around the table. Three low time mob bosses and their body guards. Maroni avoided Joker and Andrea like the plague. Unless Joker dropped in on one of their meetings, they wouldn't see the pair, so for now Joker settled with starting at the bottom again. Losing to the Bat once or twice was only a minor setback….
Andrea glanced up as the door opened. Ralph was motioning to her with a worried look on his face.
Joker merely watched her leave without a comment. He trusted her to take care of things. And taking care of little problems was her specialty.
"Is there a problem?" Andrea asked, closing the door quietly behind her, shutting out the Joker and his mob bosses.
"Not exactly, but I thought you should see this… its a couple blocks over." He gestured to the screen. Andrea leaned in the see the box like shape better. It was leaping and bounding on the road in an awkward looking dance.
"What exactly is that?"
"It's not Calendar Man. I checked. He's still preparing for the Fourth of July next week. I kinda think its-" Ralph paused awkwardly, tapping a button to make the screen zoom in.
"Harley Quinn?!" Andrea moved back suddenly staring at the screen as the figure did a somersault.
Rushing back to the meeting room, she slipped behind the Joker, leaning down to whisper in his ear. "We have a little situation out there."
Joker eyed her, irritated, "Can't you deal with it?"
Andrea rolled her eyes, "Believe me. I don't think you'd like how I would deal with it."
Sighing, he got to his feet. "Excuse me gent-le-men."
"What is that exactly?" Joker stared confused at the screen. She was coming down the road towards the factory.
"Jay darling… You ever tell Quinn she has to look like a million?" Andrea was eyeing the costume warily.
"Kind of. She asked how you got my interest in the first place. I said you dressed like a million bucks." Joker laughed. "Not that she could hold a candle to you Doll."
Andrea watched the figure on the screen humorously. "I think she took you to your word."
They could now see Harley dancing and cartwheeling about through the windowpane.
She was indeed dressed like a million dollars.
A million dollar bill.
"I think I'll leave this for you to handle." Andrea reminded him with a kiss on the check.
Joker stared at her, "Why me? You could! DollFace vs HarleyQuinn. It'd be a great headline." Joker commented suspiciously.
"If I handle this, I would be taking your advice on how to deal with excess money… I'd burn it." Andrea replied with a sinister smile.
"Ralph." Joker turned to his henchman, "Make sure Harley doesn't interrupt my meeting." Eyeing Andrea with a glint in his eye, "Or anything after for that matter." He loved it when his Doll was feeling nasty.
Andrea grinned. She knew where his mind was going.
"What do you want me to do boss? Kill her? Tie her up?" Ralph asked.
"Anything really," Joker said casually, "Shoot her, beat her, and lock her in a padded cell." Ralph grinned. "Just don't kill her." Andrea shot him a look. "Well," He added, "She is useful sometimes."
"Like a puppy…" Joker hummed to himself.
Andrea curled her lip angrily, "More like an irritating mongrel."
Joker laughed harshly, kissed Andrea and led her back into the meeting room. Oh he loved it when she was angry!
Harley threw open the door with a bang and barged in.
"Hiya Ralphy!" She shouted brightly.
Ralph gulped. He liked Quinn. She was bouncing and silly when she wasn't shooting people. But Joker said she couldn't interrupt. "Harley you're going to have to wait to see Joker."
"Why!?" She pouted her red lips at him. "Puddin's gotta see my new costume! That'll just bring that DollFace down a notch!" Harley snarled. "She thinking she's the bee's knees with her fancy suit and Joker's attention. This will show her! Mista J won't be able to resist me!" She pointed to herself excitedly, "I'm a million and one bucks, Ralphy!"
Ralph couldn't help the sad smile that came over him. Harley would never take Andrea's place. Joker liked a challenge. He liked strong women. One's who weren't afraid of him even when he was at his worst. Andrea could handle anything the Joker threw at her, whereas Harley was afraid of the Joker. Despite all the love she held for him, deep down she was a mess when it came to the abuse. Plus she treated him like a child. Puddin this and Puddin that. She talked in a baby like voice half the time and Joker hated that.
"That's nice Harley, but Joker's in a meeting right now and-"
"That DollFace in there?" Harley demanded, "She is, isn't she?!" She ran to the door yanking it open.
Ralph leapt after her. "Harley! No!"
"Knock knock Puddin'!" Harley announced herself proudly before Ralph plowed her over.
Joker looked up from his discussion. In entered stupid in her costume. He snarled. "Doll..."
Andrea was already moving towards Harley as the mob bosses stared in bewilderment. One was laughing silent giggles at the woman in the doorway.
"Oh Quinn, new look?" Andrea sweetly asked.
"Well yeah. I'm a million and-" Andrea had moved quickly and hit Quinn over the head just before Ralph took her down.
"Tie her up somewhere." Andrea commanded, "Somewhere far away." Ralph picked Quinn up and carried the unconscious girl out.
"You can leave too." Joker instructed the remaining men. 'We're done here."
They filed out, the last one still wiping tears from his eyes. "What a scmuck that girl is." He mentioned to Andrea on his way out. She smiled a little too warmly. "Just an obsessive fan. We get those. Ta-ta!"
Andrea closed the door behind them.
"Lock it." Joker commanded from the table.
Turning to face it, Andrea leaned against the door with a sultry smile. "What's on your mind, Jay?"
"No Mister J tonight?" Joker leaned back in his chair, studying her.
She moved forward slowly, "No… I'm afraid Quinn there has forever ruined that one for me."
"Too bad, I liked it coming from your mouth."
Her grin widened. "Oh Jack, there's a lot of things you like coming from me." She leaned up against the table, one ankle crossed over the other.
"Don't let Harley hear you say that." Joker warned. "Only you can call me Jack."
"I know." Andrea said simply, running her hand up his leg. "I hope she doesn't get to do this either." Andrea was pulling his tie away slowly, her eyes trained on his the entire time.
"Never." Joker pulled her into his lap. "Why do you think I told Ralph not to let her interrupt? I missed my Doll." He kissed her roughly.
"Tell me all the horrible things you'd do to Quinn." Joker instructed, his hands itching towards the ties on her dress.
A slow smile spread over her face. "I'd burn her… Like that pile of money from the mob." Andrea whispered, "She'd be like a Christmas tree… all lit up."
The depravity of it… Joker groaned. She was removing his suit piece by piece. "What if she called me Puddin again?"
Andrea frowned, "That's easy. I'd drown her in a pie and feed it to Batsy." She slipped his shirt away, before tracing her hands over his scars. Joker wore his scars well. He licked his lips when he pulled away her dress, leaving them both barely clothed.
"Andrea…. I love it when you're jealous." He kissed one side of her cheek.
"I love it when you're angry." He kissed the other.
"Most of all," He paused staring down at her. "I love it when you're murderous."
He kissed her on the lips hungrily.
Andrea was smugger then Catwoman that night.