So i posted this fic four years ago in an L word forum, i just thought you may want to read it too, cause lets face it, the ending they gave to Sharmen just sucked! so i did my own version. Enjoy.


2 years after Shane left Carmen at the altar…

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this Miss Shane McCutcheon's house?"

"Yes."

"Can I talk to her please?"

"She's speaking."

"Oh, Miss McCutcheon I'm calling from Austin's General Hospital; I was requested to inform you that your mother is here. She needs to talk to you. She's in intensive care, room 5.

*silence*

"…Miss? Are you still there?"

"Um…yeah, yeah…um…Are you su-….which room did you? …. I…" Shane could barely think or speak. She was shocked.

"Room 5, intensive care."

"And what does she… is she…?"

"I'm sorry Miss McCutcheon I can't give you that kind of information right now, but you'll be filled in with all the details you need as soon as you come to the hospital."

"Okay …um…Thank you."

After the nurse hung up, Shane remained standing still with the phone in her hand not really understanding what just happened.

Later that day…

"Hey there you are! You better…" Alice pops her head in Shane's room only to find her packing with Jenny rubbing her back.

"Everything is gonna be ok, honey" are Jenny's reassuring words, concern in her own eyes.

"What's going on? … Shane, where are you going?" Alice asks puzzled, looking first to Shane and then her bag.

"Austin. My mom is in the hospital; I have to see her." Shane states coldly without stopping her actions.

"What?! Your mother?!" Alice is stunned, "but Shane this is huge, I mean you don't need…"

"I gotta go" with that, bag in hand Shane storms out of the room.

"CALL ME AS SOON AS YOU GET THERE. BE SAFE!" Jenny screams.

"I WILL."

Alice, open mouthed, stares out into the empty hallway. "What did just…?"

"Come here, Alice" Jenny hugs her.


All the way to Austin was unreal to Shane. Once she arrived there, grudge and anger had taken her over.

Her mind was full of scenes where she was reproaching her mother. Asking her why? Why she left her, why she never came back, why she didn't look for her all these years, why… she didn't love her.

Sleep was the last thing on Shane's mind, but she still decided to stay in a hotel room close to the hospital for the night. She couldn't rush into something as important as this. She thought it was better to be calm. Tomorrow was enough stress.

The next day had arrived, and Shane is anxious. As expected, she didn't really sleep at all the night before.

Shane walks slowly towards her mom's room. When she finally reaches it, the freshly painted "5" on the door greets Shane.

She is sweating, nervous, angry; she is a whole combination of emotions.

She stares at the number, and for a moment the thought of leaving tempts Shane.

After shaking her head, she takes a deep breath gathering enough courage to finally turn the knob and step inside.

"Shane," the woman in bed says in a low voice as soon as she saw the slender figure. Tears start filling her eyes.

"M- mom?" It's all Shane manages to say. The scene is shocking.

All the anger disappears as she contemplates the woman before her. She feels a lump in her throat.

"I'm sorry," answers her mother with a cracked voice.

Shane couldn't take the tears or the emotions that were overwhelming her, so she runs towards the bed and knelt next to her mother. She hugs her, and both women crying now.


"Are you sure you're okay?" Bette asks holding Shane by her shoulders.

"Yeah, yeah; I'm fine." Shane is on the couch thoughtful and visibly sad, but there's something else in her demeanor that makes the girls feel uneasy.

"You know we are here to help you Shane whatever you need, any time right? Tina adds touching Shane's arm while giving a "what the hell" look to Bette, who just shrugs.

"Sure, thanks guys, but I guess I need some rest"

Bette, Tina, Alice, Jenny and Helena watch helpless as Shane makes her way to her room. There's a moment of silence which is broken seconds later by Jenny.

"She needs to sleep and relax…"

"Yeah, we all do," states Helena.

Indeed they all were exhausted, not only physically but emotionally too.

The news about Shane's mother suddenly appearing caused a tremendous commotion in all of them.

They were worried about Shane. Then after a couple of months, her mom dies.

The girls immediately flew to Austin to be with a devastated Shane. They were there in those terrible moments.

When the funeral was over and it was time to go back home, they realized Shane was different. All the way back she was quieter than usual and distant, too.

"And now what do we do? Alice asks frustrated.

"Just wait," Helena answers.

"I guess we should give her some time alone. She'll come around." With that, Bette signals the girls to leave the house.

As they do this Tina pleads holding Jenny's hand, "Jenny please, call us if you see any change in Shane's mood."

"I will." Jenny opens the door as they all say their goodbyes.

...

Shane is in her bed looking at the ceiling doing the only thing she's been doing lately: thinking.

The images of the encounter with her mother still fresh in her mind; the scenes flow easily in front of her eyes replaying in a never-ending loop…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I'm sorry, honey. I'm sorry," apologizes the teary-eyed Shane's mother while stroking Shane's hair.

"I've missed you so much." Shane mumbles among tears still kneeling and with her head on her mother's chest.

"I've… missed you too," the woman's voice trails off uncertain about whether she had the right to say that sentence or not.

Shane holds her breath after hearing that sentence.

Her mother stops the stroking scared of her daughter's reaction.

Shane slowly moves up until she's seated right next to her.

Weeping her own tears, Shane looks directly to her mother's eyes.

"I…"

"Shhh…" Shane puts a finger on the woman's lips. "We'll talk about that later," then she holds her hand and just stares at her.

Both are now smiling at each other.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Shane tosses and turns, the memories make her sad and happy.

She starts crying quietly on her side. All these feelings are overwhelming.

As her crying subsides, she lies on her back again.

She feels that even though she got to enjoy her mother for only two months, something inside her has been healed. But at the same time there's a hole in her heart that no one can fill, not even her mother.

She submerges herself into her thoughtful state again, thousands of things in her mind.

Suddenly her face changes from showing distress to expressing determination.

Shane gets up abruptly and jumps out of bed.

She takes her cell phone out and presses some buttons.

"Hey, Helena I… No, no I'm ok. I just…I need to talk to you. Can we meet tomorrow? Yes, your office is fine… Uh huh. What time do you? …yes, it's perfect. I'll see you then. Thank you, bye." Shane hangs up with a sigh.

She leaves her room and goes to the fridge to grab a beer.

"Shane! How are you feeling, sweetie?" asks Jenny from the desk, laptop open.

"I'm better thanks. I'm…way better." Shane answers her friend with resolve in her eyes. She takes a chair and sits next to her.

Both friends exchange deep gazes.

Jenny smiles and strokes the back of Shane's head seeing hope in her eyes. "That's good."

Shane returns the smile and leans her head on Jenny's shoulder.

She hugs Shane and kisses her forehead.

They stay like that for a while.


So... what do you think so far? do you wanna know what happens next? well, all you have to do is let me know =)