August 24, 2012 – Mad Hatter Day
Summary: **Part of the 2012 LiveJournal's Twisted Shorts August Fic-A-Day** series, also known as the 'Wacky Holiday Series'. A league of heroes have to face off against their enemies…in a psych ward.
Challenge: for the livejournal 2012 August Fic-a-Day Challenge.
Warning: non-canon character deaths. One bad word.
Timeline: when they all were in the loony bin for various reasons, but change the dates so they line up.
A/N: I know SG-1 and Smallville aren't 80s shows…and that there are some other unbelievable elements to this story, but I had to put these four 'whackjobs' together for this holiday.
Disclaimer: BtVS/AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. The A-Team characters belong to Frank Lupo, Stephen J. Cannell, Universal Television and Stephen J. Cannell Productions. Stargate characters belong to Robert C. Cooper and Brad Wright / SyFy Channel. Smallville characters belong to DC comics and the CW. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.
The veteran nurse sighed as she once again saw the four delusionals get together for their weekly unofficial meeting. Each one of them thought they were heroes of some kind and it broke her heart.
Then she heard an orderly mock them to another colleague, "At least they've picked a good day for their 'Avengers' club meeting; today is 'Mad Hatter Day' and they certainly fit that bill."
While it was sad that they clung to their delusions, they were non-violent towards the staff and even pleasant to be around most of the time. So the nurse scowled at the orderly and snapped, "Don't you have work to do?"
They left the four members of the hero league alone, checking every half hour to make sure there wasn't a problem – there never was during these meetings.
Today would be different, though.
'Howling Mad' Murdock had just finished sharing one of his war stories when four men strode into the room. What made these men different was they all shared the same face – one of which was recognized by one hero and the other was known by all of them.
Murdock saw Dr. William Pratt, the shrink who had him transferred to this facility and made it impossible for him to sneak out and help the A-Team.
Clark Kent recognized Brainiac aka Professor Milton Fine, the artificial intelligence from Krypton that kept trying to kill him or free Zod.
Buffy Summers didn't recognize the Billy Idol wannabe, but she felt what he was…a vampire.
When the last one spoke, Daniel Jackson knew that it was a Goa'uld. "I am your god, Ares! Bow before me!"
Murdock was the first hero to move. He quickly walked over to Dr. Pratt and punched him unconscious. That got the others moving. Whether by design or accident, the three remaining heroes swapped their villians.
Just as Spike was about to attack Buffy, Clark let off with a blast of heat vision and incinerated him.
Daniel reached into his 'prop' bag and pulled out a weird 's'-shaped device. He tapped something on it, which made it open a little. He fired it at Brainiac and kept firing until the AI stopped moving and eventually vanished into thin air.
Ares, who had raised his personal shield at the sight of a zat'nik'tel, failed to pay attention to Buffy, who was sneaking up behind him with a piece of metal she broke off one of the chairs. He realized his mistake too late when she threw the makeshift weapon into the base of his skull (Daniel had explained what the Goa'uld were to his fellow heroes).
As Daniel was getting rid of Ares' body with the zat, Clark helped Buffy reattach the metal bar to the chair and clean up any signs of a struggle.
Then they all turned to Murdock to ask if they should do something about the good doctor – who had a hand in getting them all moved to this particular facility. He shook his head, "Nah, I'm not worried about him."
"How can you say that?" Daniel asked. "He led these other three in here to kill or capture us!"
"And now they're gone," Murdock replied reasonably, which would shock anyone who knew him because even his friends considered him insane. "Do you honestly think he has more doubles somewhere?"
Buffy furrowed her brows, then asked, "Then why did you punch him?"
"Because he's an asshole. He took far too much pleasure telling me whenever one of my former teammates had been captured," Murdock growled, reaching down to give the man another punch in the face.
When the nurse came by a few minutes later, she was shocked to see the patients attempting to revive Dr. Pratt. "What happened in here?" she demanded. "Where are the other men that came in with Dr. Pratt?"
"What are you talking about, Nurse Richards?" Buffy asked in mock-confusion. "We went to the bathroom a little while ago and when we came out, Dr. Pratt was the only one in here and he was lying on the ground. We were trying to wake him up so we could ask who beat him up."
"Really?" the nurse replied, more confused than she had ever been before…and in this job, that was saying quite a bit.
Daniel – who was considered the most reasonable of the four by the staff – picked up the story from there, "Well, we figured that we would be accused…especially given our collective personal history with him."
Now the nurse moved from confused to suspicious. "What do you mean 'collective personal history'?"
"He's the one who had all of us removed from the hospitals we were at before – away from our friends and family – to this place where nobody knew where we were," Clark finished their explanation. "At least I'm hoping they don't know; it would explain why we haven't received any mail or calls from them," he added sadly.
"I didn't know that," Nurse Richards murmured. Something about that sounded very strange to her. She knew the boy was telling the truth about lack of mail and calls; it was something that bothered her greatly when she found out. Family shouldn't just ship their loved ones off and forget about them, even if they are sick. The idea that their families were possibly worried sick about her patients made her anger at them dissipate until she found out if it was true or not.
Buffy decided to put another nail in the doctor's coffin, hoping it wouldn't backfire on them. "I don't know about the others, but he warned me not to cause trouble or try to escape or he would hurt my parents."
Both Clark and Daniel nodded, saying he told them the same thing. Murdock said he didn't have anyone to threaten who the doctor could easily find.
Her suspicion towards the doctor skyrocketed when she saw that as soon as he and his colleagues approached the outside doors of the facility, all the video surveillance was disabled. She would definitely be reporting this to her superiors.
A/N: As for the zat…maybe Daniel built one using Ma'chello's memories and scraps he found around the hospital.