As hard as I tried, I couldn't stop looking at Clare Edwards. Soft, but piercing blue eyes. Delicate, light brown curls that stopped right around her chin. Creamy, pale skin. She was perfect. Too perfect to ever go for a guy like me. Adam Torres.
I'm an FTM, female-to-male transgender. I was born as Gracie Raine Torres. Ever since I was young, I've never liked the 'girly' things. Dresses, dolls, bows, dressing up,having long hair, princess crap. Always hated it.I was more into adventure, playing in the mud, climbing trees, wrestling. All averge boy types of things. The problem? I was not.
At age 8 is when I began to realize I was a boy. That was the age when lots of kids started to develop crushes. I didn't like anybody, but I did think lots of the girls in my class were gorgeous. It wasn't just the typical –girly- friendly -thing to think your friend was pretty, I actually thought of it in the 'I steal double takes on you because your freaking attractive to me'.
Two years ago I started to burn myself with a hair clip. The pain felt good to me, I could'nt stop. It was like an obsession.
A few days after my third time burning myself, my step-mother, Audra, saw the burns. She was extremely disappointed and worried, and I had no choice but to tell her I was a boy, and I was going to stop pretending like I was fond of the stupid skirts and dresses she made me wear. She tried to convince me that I was a tomboy and a lesbian, but I wasn't. I never have been, never will be. I'm a guy. 100% dude, it's just that I'm missing a few parts. But I don't believe that defines your gender identity. It's a between the ears thing that makes up your gender.
At Degrassi is where the real me ,Adam Joseph Torres, was first shown to the world. Once I came to my new school, in a new country, I was afraid I wouldn't blend in with the rest of the boys. It took awhile for me to be confident that I was, and boy does 'awhile' mean ages.
In only the first week of school, I made friends with a gothic dude named Eli. That dude is now my best friend, and I couldn't be luckier. Eli is a pretty short guy, not as short as me, but still, he is a year older. Eli has black hair and green eyes. He loves comic books and video games, just like me. A friendship made in heaven you may call it.
I also made buddies with a guy named Sav. He is pretty cool, we never got close or anything, but he did drive me and Eli to a Dead Hand concert, our all time favorite band, so I do consider him as a hero of mine.
Let's not forget when Owen and Mark, aka Fitz, cornered me into the Boys bathroom and Owen threw me into a glass door. That was amazingly painful, it took weeks to recover. On another note, let's talk about Clare shall we?
"Aaadddaaaammm… Heeellllooo, Adam? "BRO!" Eli startled me. "Damn dude, what's up?!" I asked frightened and jumpy.
" Correct me if I'm wrong, but were you just staring at Clare Edwards?" Eli raised his eyebrows several times. I lightley chuckled.
"Maybe, I can't really remember since you basically gave me a heart attack about 10 seconds ago." I laughed.
"Sorry about that dude," Eli apologized, "now what I was asking about, were you looking at Clare?"
"I umm.. I was just.. uh... Yeah.. I guess so," I awkwardly admitted.
"I knew you liked her!" Eli whispered to me excitedly.
" I never said I did you know," I told him. Eli rolled his eyes jokingly.
"Dude, I know you. I can easily tell you have a crush on her. So, when did you discover this thing for Clare?" Eli laughed.
"Well, I admit that she caught my eye the first time I noticed her, which was the first day of English. And I guess I've kinda liked her for a few weeks now." I told for the first time.
"Why did'nt you just tell me, Adam? I can keep a secret." Eli smiled.
" I don't know, I wasn't really ready to tell anyone I guess, I still can't believe I'm telling you this right now." ~RINGGG~ Period 3 was over.