Disclaimer: I do not own Phineas and Ferb

Hey, AJ ThaPlatypus still! WHO'S READY FOR A TWIST? And did he tell ya'll I wrote all the PnF and the one GF fanfics? It's okay if he didn't, I'm just curious xD Sorry- I'm new at this, excuse my weirdness.

Chapter Nine: What Presided in the Box

That night, Ferb went to sit with the Aphrodite table and Isabella joined in with the children of Eros. (Perry said she was lucky that it was mostly girls, because the boys tended to be extremely erotic; I rolled my eyes and told him to shut his face.) Me, I was still stuck at the Hermes table. They were friendly and all, but I still felt out of place, in a way. I had a gut feeling that Hermes wasn't my dad, since he hadn't claimed me while he was here. Several of them were jealous because Hermes' hand had brushed up against mine, but I told them it didn't make me feel any different.

At dinner, the campers all had to give their first servings to their parents. Basically, we had to throw a plateful of perfectly good food into the bonfire in the middle of the tables and dedicate it to our parent. I asked if I just did my dedication to Hermes and the kids all said to just thank an anonymous parent. Weird, but if that's how it works- that's how it works. I just dumped the plate in and asked that whoever my dad was, could he please show me a sign to let me know. He didn't have to claim me; he just had to let me know he was there.

I sat back down at the Hermes table last, and Chiron told us we were free to eat. The cups were pretty cool- all you had to do was say the name of the drink you wanted and it would magically fill up. (I knew instantly that Ferb would get lemonade, so I went ahead and filled mine up with lemonade as well. Isabella was probably drinking a smoothie if I knew her right. Perry- heaven knows what he was drinking.) One girl named Karen Lovesworth came and sat next to me.

"Hey," she smiled. "Mind if I sit here?"

"Not at all," I shook my head. "It's Karen, right?"

"Yup," she nodded. "And you're Phineas."

"Yeah," I chuckled. Everyone had made it a point to know my name after Hermes had handed me that package. "You not up for the party at the other end of the table, I'm guessing?"

"It's for Hermes," she laughed. "We're unclaimed. It'd be awkward."

"Oh, so you're unclaimed, too?" I half-smiled, glad to know someone felt how I did.

"Mm-hmm," she nodded. "I have a feeling I'm a daughter of one of the minor gods. They're less likely to claim demigods because they're not as competitive as the twelve Olympians are."

"Really?" I sat up, interested. "I've never been much of a Grecophile."

"Silly," Karen giggled.

"How long have you been here?" I asked her, trying to get good conversation out of her. She counted on her fingers.

"Seven years," she finally said.

"Yikes, that's a long time," I whistled. "Do we have to stay here for the rest of our lives or something?"

"Depends," she shrugged. "Some people stay only during the school year and go back to see their parent in the summer. They're usually the weaker demigods. Others stay year-round until they're old enough to take care of themselves. They're usually stronger. A select few…they can't ever leave because they're too powerful."

"Dang," I breathed.

"Yeah," she agreed. "I go home in the summer to see my mom sometimes. This summer she had work in Tahiti, so I'm stuck here."

"Wow," I said. I didn't really know how to best respond to her, so I left the response open.

"What about you?" she changed the topic off of herself. "Is your god-parent your dad or your mom?"

"My dad," I sighed. "I live, or lived, rather, with my mom and step-dad."

"Oh, got any siblings?" she leaned one elbow on the table.

"Well, Ferb," I said, pointing to the Aphrodite table. "He's my step-brother. I also have a half-sister named Candace. I thought she was my full sister, though. It had never occurred to me that my dad was a Greek deity and hers wasn't."

"Boy, is that the truth," Karen laughed. "If someone had flat out told me that I was a demigod then, I would have laughed in their face and asked what kind of drugs they were on."

"Yeah," I chuckled. Picking up my cup, I took a swallow of the lemonade. It felt nice on my dry throat. "I suppose you could count Perry as a 'brother' of mine. But in all reality, we viewed him more as a pet."

"Perry Affleck was your pet?" she grinned. "He talks a lot of smack for a demigod turned into a beaver."

"Platypus," I corrected calmly.

"A platy-what?" she giggled. "What's that?"

"Platypus," I repeated. "An animal unique to the eastern parts of Australia. They're one of the only two monotremes, or egg-laying mammals, to exist in the world. They really enjoy water, because they're semi-aquatic, the males are poisonous and can cause hyperalgesia in humans if they sting us with the spike on the back of their feet, and the females sweat milk."

"Wow, you do know your platypus fact," Karen raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah," I laughed.

"Well, it's been nice getting to know you," she smiled, picking up her plate. "I'm off to get more archery practice in before we have to go to bed."

"See you around, then!" I waved. She waved back and ran off to find her bow and arrow. I returned my plate, fork, and cup to the place I'd found them and ran out into the woods. Earlier, I'd placed the small parcel in my jacket in hopes of smuggling it somewhere secret so that I could open it. Once I'd found the perfect place, I pulled the package out and examined it.

It was no bigger than an average-sized textbook. The wrapping on the outside was black, and the only hint at the box's purpose was a big gold sticker that read 'Phineas' on it. I traced my fingers along the edges until I'd found where the paper folded over, then gently pulled it up and away from what was inside.

There was a brown cardboard box inside with a note tucked loosely under one of its flaps. I grabbed ahold of the note and slid it out, also noting that it read my name. Eagerly, I flipped the envelope open and pulled out the note, which read:

'Dear Phineas, I am sad to say that I have not claimed you as my own yet, but as there is trouble stirring on Olympus, I feel it is for your own safety that only you and I know I am your father. Soon you and your friends from Danville will be sent on a quest, and I have sent you something to aid in this. Please use it to the best of your ability. Your father, Hades, Lord of the Dead.'

I couldn't say what was more of a shock to me- that my dad had wanted to claim me but wouldn't, or that my dad was the god of the underworld. Not that it was a bad thing, per se, to be the son of one of the Big Three (as the campers called Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades), but it was completely contrary to my lively attitude. Wouldn't the god of the Underworld and the dead be…well…dead in personality?

Brushing away the thought, I slowly opened up the box. Inside it was what appeared to be a sharp-edged metal 'U,' but when I pulled it out, a staff extended noiselessly from the base and I discovered that it was a two-pronged spear. I found myself wishing that Ferb was here to help me understand. He knew way more about mythology than I did.

A small slip of paper was sitting in the base of the box. I stooped back down and picked it up. The writing on it was small, but I could see every word of it quite clearly.

'Use this wisely. Below is an incantation you can use to raise an army of dead soldiers if ever you need it. In the box you should find an invisible bag full of drachmas that you can use to send me an Iris-message if you need help. Be as clandestine as possible- Zeus cannot know about our contact.'

Looking to my left and my right, I slid the papers into my pocket as quietly as possible and examined the spear to see how I could make it retract back into a crude-looking 'U' again. There appeared to be a button at the base of the spearhead, so I pressed that and watched the staff slowly slide away. Satisfied, I slipped the spear into my other pocket and made for the camp.

"Hey, slick, where ya been?" Perry stepped out in front of me out of nowhere.

"Would…you…stop…doing…that?!" I asked him.

"Doing what?" he frowned.

"Popping up out of literally nowhere! How the heck do you do that?!" I said, completely exasperated. "It scares me to no end!"

"Oh, sorry, force of habit," Perry shrugged. "So, where were you?"

"Just out in the woods," I said flatly.

"Any reason why?" he smiled, as if he knew.

"What did you do?" I sighed.

"I followed you because Chiron asked me to," Perry raised his eyebrows. "Campers don't go into the woods alone. It's dangerous."

"Well, a head's up would be nice," I put my hands on my hips. "How much do you know? What did you see?"

"Wow, defensive," Perry smirked. "I didn't see much. You were opening that package that Hermes gave you. You seemed a tad confused, but I won't intrude if you feel it's not something you can share with your best friend."

"Gah, Perry!" I said, slapping my forehead. "You have to swear not to tell anyone, not even your siblings."

"I'm cool with that," Perry smiled. "As long as you don't tell anyone I sent more hate mail to Aeolus."



"You know better than that!"

"Just tell me."

"Fine, here goes- I know who my dad is."

C'mon- admit it: Most everyone was thrown off, am I right? xD