Carter sat calmly on his bunk. There hadn't been much to do for a change. Hogan exited his office and entered the main Barracks and looked around. Not seeing what he was looking for he turned to Carter.

"Carter, have you seen Newkirk?"

"No, sir, I haven't. Come to think about I haven't seen him all day." Newkirk wasn't known to disappear, only on reconnaissance missions. Where was he? "I'll go look for him Colonel." Hogan nodded and Carter headed out the door.

He stopped LeBeau outside the Barracks.

"Hey LeBeau, have you seen Newkirk?" LeBeau thought for a moment then nodded.

"Oui. I just saw him at Barracks 3. He was getting some money from the men. Maybe they lost a bet." LeBeau shook his head slightly then walked into his Barracks. Carter came a shrug then went to Barracks 3 to ask the men of that barracks where Newkirk went next.

Carter walked up to Sergeant Johnson, a nice American that Carter was friends with.

"Hey Johnson, do you know where Newkirk went? The Colonel wants to see him."

"Oh yeah. He went to talk Schultz and about some money." Carter was confused by this.

"Money? Why's he asking for money?"

"Just think about it for a minute, Carter." Johnson patted Carter's shoulder then went to join a group standing around the corner.

Money? Carter sighed then went to Schultz who was standing near Klink's office.

"Hi Schultz. Did Newkirk come and see you?"

"Ja ja. He went to talk to the Kommandant, but you just missed him. He just left Colonel Klink's office."

"Well, I should ask the Kommandant anyway. Thanks Schultz," Carter said before heading into Klink's office. Klink looked up from his work and glared at Carter as he came in. "Sorry to disturb you, Kommandant, but I just wanted to ask you if you've seen Newkirk." Klink nodded in his usual way.

"Yes, I saw the Englander. He went back to Barracks 2. Now leave me alone. I need to get this paper work done."

"Sorry Kommandant. Thank you thank you." Carter backed out of the office slowly and then ran back to his barracks. When he opened the door there Newkirk sat at the table counting some money. "Newkirk! I've been looking all over the camp looking for you."

"Well if you 'ad just back 'ere you 'ave found me, Andrew," he said not looking up from what he was doing.

"The Colonel was looking for you. Hey, where is he?"

"'e wasn't 'ere when i got 'ere. Must've gone out looking for you."

"Well what have you been doing?"

"I was collecting some money for a fund." Carter looked confused.

"What fund," He asked as Hogan walked in hearing the conversation.

"Trench hand." Hogan shook his head at Carter, but Carter couldn't resist.

"What's trench hand?"

"It's when you have trench mouth and go," Newkirk coughed into his hand. Carter nodded thoughtfully while Hogan brought his hand to his forehead. "Want to donate?"


In honor of Richard Dawson and a joke he made on Match Game.