She's on your mind
(Song: Over my head by The Fray)
He felt a sinking feeling.
And for the first time in his life he thought of the possibility that this was what Sakura felt when he left, when he betrayed her, what she was talking about minutes ago. He wanted to go after her but some gravitational pull made him stay where he was. And for the first time in his life he knew it wasn't pride.
If it was pride he would have chased after her and contorted her and obligated her to tell him what it was she was running away from. If he wasn't man enough for her at that. But he didn't because he wasn't man enough, if he was he wouldn't have treated her the way he did over the years. And knowing this made him halt, hesitate.
If she wanted to go, then she could. He couldn't stop her; he held no authority over her. But he was also letting her go because he knew she could do better. She could find someone worth living for. Instead of him, instead of dying for because he knew that there was no doubt in her head that she would risk her life for his. Hadn't she done it before?
Nevertheless, he couldn't look back. If she didn't, there was no reason from him to do the same. Regardless he still watched her run and couldn't help think that she was because he was a monster. Needless to say he was.
When she was nowhere to be found in the poor visibility the horizon held, he decided to sit down once he realized his legs couldn't hold him any longer. He sighed, his breathe wobbling with dissatisfaction. He rubbed his face and eyes repeatedly, begging his brain to turn back time or to transport him to another planet. He could say he was over his head in that moment.
He tried very hard to remember why he was even there for. Why had he returned for her? Why had he even bothered? Why had he thought she would have no problem with this?
It was this hollowness, this thing in his mind that told him he had not finished what he started, what he didn't know was that he never had commence it to begin with. It was this disturbance that no matter what, everything was going to be okay, that there was a happy ending in all of this. There was always happiness in the end. He was reminded that only in fairytales where these unreasonable things originated. This was real life. And despite what happened he would have never in a millions years had expected her to back off.
He guessed that for her sake she wasn't that weak, senseless girl he knew. The girl that would have thrown herself in front of him before anything happened. The girl that he secretly understated as a bit appreciated. But she was gone, replace by this… new person that without really knowing her he missed her already.
He rubbed his eyes again, giving up to the thought of him waking up to a different set of circumstances. He let his arms fall to his lap. He looked around. Everything was quiet. Like everything in this village was empty.
He was sitting there about half an hour expecting her to pop out of nowhere. He didn't know why but since she told him she loves him he anticipated her everywhere. Guess he should have listened to her when she said she didn't love him anymore. But the thing was… he didn't want to believe it, like he didn't want to believe she was a different person.
He just couldn't give up. Give up.
Sasuke immediately stood up.
Within seconds there was a throbbing ache at his face from where Naruto hit his mark. It took him a moment to realize what had happened. There were lights in his eyes and he wanted very badly to sit down and drown in self pity.
Sasuke had been standing a minute ago in front of Naruto's house once he figured he was the only one that held his answers. He was the one who had years of experience with Sakura. He was the one who knows her instead of knew. What he hadn't expected was him throwing a punch just as he was opening the door. Well, he expected a reaction but this wasn't it. In his mind he always thought Naruto had wasted his years looking, waiting for him to come back. That he was somehow peaceful. Another thing he was wrong about, another person he didn't know anymore.
In the frenzy of what had taken place Sasuke slung a shot back to Naruto. Hitting bull's-eye in Naruto's right eye. If he couldn't handle him there than so wouldn't Sasuke. They started swinging their fits blindly around.
The instant the pain started Sasuke knew where the brutality had hit him. His abdomen, his face again, his mouth, his head, his leg. He also had his way too. Naruto's stomach, shoulder, chest, arm, the same eye again.
"Stop!" finally came from Naruto once he was on top of Sasuke, his hands securely around his neck, pinning him down to the ground.
"You-" Sasuke barely choked. "-started!"
"No, no, no!" Naruto's voice dripped of sarcasm as his fingers tighten their hold. "No, you did when you knocked that door. What the hell are you doing here?"
"I…" Sasuke couldn't finish and he knew that it wasn't the edges of his eyes turning black from a possible blackout that stopped him.
"Well?" Naruto pressed harder, but once he realized what he was actually doing let go and flinched his way to a stand. "What the hell are you even doing here? Now? What's your problem?"
"I… it's none of your business." He couldn't admit it to Naruto, not when he had turned a shade of red just like him, just like when they mentioned her. In fact he wouldn't have ever thought they had the slightest thing in common.
"It is if you come to my village and when you go personally to me."
"Look at you," he started to insult, trying to avoid his recent embarrassment, "you're not even hokage and you're acting like you run the whole damn village."
"At least I'm man enough to think of someone else but me."
That hit was more precise than any punch thrown in that instant. He tried not to blush again. If he only knew Sasuke wasn't there for himself.
"Well…? What?" Naruto said instead, almost screaming. "You better tell me because I'm gonna kick you out so hard you'd wished you'd be dead. Then we'll see who the bigger man is."
"I…" he couldn't believe what he was doing. "I came here for a small advice."
Naruto's face fell, shockingly. "What? You mean to tell me you came here for…advice? No mortal battle, no threats, no killing… just advice."
Surprisingly getting hit yet again by Naruto was more shocking than him hitting the first time or asking for advice in the first place.
"Go to hell, if you think I'm going to believe that bullshit."
"But I'm not." Sasuke spat blood, staggering on the floor.
"How the hell do you expect me to give you advise when all my life that's what I've been trying to do?" Sasuke didn't meet Naruto's eye and this seem to deflate his anger a bit.
Though regardless of everything that just happened he didn't expect a welcoming hand, offering to help. "I just hope that for your sake it's worth it…"
Sasuke didn't know what to do in that moment. He was sore and out of reason. So, he just went with it. He took his hand.
"Believe me, it is."
Naruto pulled him up. "Does this mean you changed leagues?"
By nighttime everything just seemed to have fallen asleep, with a light weighted rain falling on everything. It all was quiet like this morning and all he had in mind was relaxing and breathing. But it was impossible in that moment. He couldn't.
"She's on your mind." Naruto had said, his eyes wondering emptily on the floor.
He couldn't have been more precise.
"Crazy, right?" Sasuke said, feeling the need to keep the mood light for some reason.
"I always known this would happen. It would explain why she was here this morning."
"She was here this morning…?"
"Yeah," his answer was echoing with some remorse. "I knew she wasn't here for me. For whatever she does there's a secrete motive, or a set of circumstances revolving you. It always been."
Sasuke opened his mouth not sure what he wanted to say but he didn't have a chance to do it either. Naruto snapped his gaze to him. "Just promise me you won't hurt her. She was devastated when left but she would be more devastated if you stayed…for good… Just promise, okay?"
In that moment he had forgotten that Naruto was in love with her. How could he forget that? It wasn't like he had a choice either.
"I promise," he assured.
There was this creaking sound from the door opening, the kind you get when you are sneaking out or sneaking in. And by impulse he was immediately on his feet.
"Sakura?" he said as soon as she took a corner and was visible for him to see.
She was still on her sleeping clothes. Was she like that all day? Her face turned pale as soon as she made eye contact with him. She was ready to bolt the same direction she had come from. When she realized there was no time and there was no exit her eyes searched the floors, as if it held the answer to something. If avoiding him was a legitimate excuse than it was.
"I am," he tried to say without stumbling with his own words but when she didn't look up it was inevitable, "losing you- right now."
Her gaze shot up as he finished this.
"And you're making this effortless."
"You," she interrupted, "did the same to me. And it was easy for you, almost natural."
"Why do you always go back to the past?" he asked calmly.
"Because your part of it. It's the part that doesn't last and I am yours too. So, don't try to sweet talk yourself out off anything like the last years of my life didn't happen."
"I know that I can't take it back but I wish I could."
"Life doesn't run on wishes, Sasuke, believe me I tried so hard to do it too." Her voice was un-victorious. "You just learn to move on."
"She hasn't moved on," Naruto had said, "she might swear or act like it but she hasn't. She just thinks she has."
"Have you moved on, Sakura?" he asked.
"Yes," her reply came quick as she held her head high.
"I haven't." he admitted.
"Since when?" she asked insulted. "Since three days ago?"
"Since a long time."
"Trust me that is not as long as me." Her tone was pure bitterness.
"So, you admit you haven't moved on either?"
As he quickly said it, he quickly regretted. Her eyes filled with tears, and she immediately went searching for whatever she lost on the floor. Her shoulders shook and her face crumbled in a sob.
"You don't know how it has been for me. And you're not even close to finding out. Don't try to either." Sasuke tried to approach her but she started to scream. "Get away!"
"I'm just trying to help."
"You're not. You're making it worse."
"Can't you get that all I want his you," his voice started to rise.
"What I don't get is what you're doing here?" she retorted
"I'm here for you!"
"Once you realized you're life was a pathetic mess with pathetic people who have waited for you until now!" she added
"I know that you have waited for me but now that I'm here what am stopping you now?" He tried to reach closer and he was surprise when she didn't back down. He had his hand on her shoulder and when she looked up his heart stopped for a moment.
"What's stopping me now is reason. The reasoning in my head that tells me that if you hurt me once you'll hurt me again. And frankly I'd rather suffer at my own cost that of your own."
"I… I don't know what to say." He admitted.
"Say that you won't ever go," Naruto had said, "that you will always stay."
"Just say you'll leave," she offered.
"No." he was still blinking. "I just … never thought you wanted to bring it down."
"It had always been down."
He was snapped back to reality. "I promise… I won't ever go," she was staring at him closely. "I will always stay."
"What?" she said.
"Let's build this back together." He cleared. "Or tore it up ourselves."
"Or end it."
"Don't end it," Naruto had said, "don't give in or give up, just yet."
"Why don't we start at the end?"
"You're not making sense." She said confused.
"If we start at the end wouldn't we begin with a happy start."
"Why would it ever be happy? Why would anything be happy?"
"Because everything has a happy ending and I rather start at the end." He said even if he was contradicting himself. He just couldn't give up.
A/n: So yeah, I don't know what to do anymore. My sis helped at the end… it's just, I don't know what it is with Sasuke I just… hate him but I love the couple so yeah…
So I ended the story, please review ;)