Sasori stared down at the sleeping blond. It had been a month and he still loved the way Deidara talked while he was in a deep sleep. Sasori could hold up a complete conversation with him but he wouldn't remember when he woke up. He was also extremely honest.
"Dei, do you like me?" Sasori asked his sleeping roommate.
"Mmmhm." The blond murmured.
"Do you like anyone else?" The redhead felt slightly guilty for asking.
"Of course Danna." Sasori's heart dropped. "I like lots of people. I like Hidan and Itachi and Sasuke and Kakuzu and..."
Sasori sighed as the blond continued to rattle off names.
Dammit, why am I so jealous lately? He scolded himself. Deidara doesn't think about others. At least not that way.
Deidara rolled over so he was facing the wall. He'd just dodged a bullet. He knew about his own sleeping habits, even before Sasori had turned up Hidan had loved to sneak into the room and grill Deidara for secrets. He smiled to himself, that's how Hidan had figured out Dei's sexuality.
Sasori had mentioned something a while back about Deidara talking about Itachi in his sleep. So the blond had taken to pretending to sleep until he was sure Sasori had fallen asleep himself. He didn't want to tell his boyfriend that he was thinking about another.
It wasn't Deidara's fault that Itachi had been sad lately. It was Kisame and Sasuke. Kisame had dumped the weasel for some kid, Suigetsu or something. And Sasuke had taken to hanging with other people, not just his brother. This lead to Itachi being a lot more quiet and withdrawn lately, and Deidara was worried. But why was he thinking about him more than Sasori?
"Danna is so nice. He's cute..." Deidara muttered, to let Sasori's heart rise a little.
"Goodnight Dei." Sasori replied, smiling at his 'sleeping' boyfriend.
"Get you asses out of bed! Wake up idiots! Are you forgetting something?" Hidan yelled, standing in the open doorway to their room. "Second of April bitches! Get your asses up for cake!"
"Babe, don't wake the whole dorm." Kakuzu put his hand on his partners shoulder. "Sasori is tired cause Deidara has been talking more, and the fact that Dei has been talking more means he's been sleeping restlessly, so he's tired too."
"Hey, Hidan? Isn't it customary to have breakfast in bed on your birthday?" Naruto asked.
"But I'm having cake for breakfast. And I'm going to share it with my bitches." he grinned. "Sai's making it... Do you know if he can cook?"
"If he has a cook book, maybe. But if not I do not want any." The blond shuddered.
"At least Kiba didn't bake it; we'd find dog hair in it. Though, it would be fun to get a picture of him in a lacy apron, for the blackmail purposes." Kakuzu smiled.
"Oh I forgot. I got you a present, wait a sec." Naruto dug around a moment in his school bag, producing a bible which he threw at Hidan before fleeing down the hall.
"One day, I will kill that boy. But... This could be useful." He picked up the bible and weighted it in his hand. "It's pretty heavy. Hmm..."
"What the hell was that?! Damn idiots throwing bibles!" Deidara yelled. "I'm going to kill you Hidan!"
The blond leapt out of bed and chased the laughing teen.
"When do you think he'll realize he's only wearing boxers?" Sasori asked Kakuzu, getting out of bed.
"He won't. Hidan will tell him." the tall boy replied.
"Deidara! Put on some goddamn pants!" The redhead shouted, and then turned to Kakuzu. "I told him, not Hidan. I win."
"Well damn..." he passed a five dollar note over to Sasori."You're too smart."
"Nah, you just didn't think that through."
"Maybe but I can't believe you thought of that."
Sasori shrugged, not really caring.
"Hidan shouldn't be eating cake for breakfast. It's not good for him."
"It's one time, and it is his birthday. You're not normally so worried about him."
"No, I just don't show it." Kakuzu grinned sheepishly.
They went out into the lounge-room. Sai was cooking on the kitchen, Naruto was laughing with Kiba, probably about Hidan, who was pinned against a wall by Deidara. Shikamaru was half asleep on the lounge.
"Dei Honey, don't kill Hidan..." Sasori sighed. "Where's the twins?" he asked the others.
"Itachi is in his room, and I think Sasuke is with Sakura." Kiba answered. "It's weird for him to be gone this early."
"Fifty bucks he reappears for cake." the redhead grinned. "Who gonna take me?"
"I will." Pein said, coming into the dorm with Konan.
"Why are you two here?" Naruto asked.
"Well, we came for Hidan's cake. And I think we may need to save him." Konan shrugged, glancing over to said zealot, who was now being sat on by Deidara. "Dei? Get off the birthday boy..."
"I don't care if it's his birthday. No basted wakes me up!" The blond stated.
"Get the bitch off me! I'm not a chair!" Hidan struggled against Deidara who leaned harder against him.
"He just likes being on top of someone for once." Sasori said, innocently inspecting his nails.
"Danna! Don't say that, it's embarrassing!" Dei whined.
"Huh? Oh sorry Deidei, it just slipped out." Sasori smiled like an angel. "And you're not usually embarrassed. I guess I forgot about your big ego."
"That's not the only big thing about me, Sasori-no-Danna." Deidara got off Hidan and winked at Sasori, it was his turn to get embarrassed. "But you already know all about that. It can be sort of hard to swallow."
Sasori's face flushed slightly as all eyes turned to him.
"I was talking about my artistic talent Danna. But you knew that, didn't you?" he grinned.
"The cake is ready." Sai called from the kitchen.
Hidan lowered the knife, ready to cut the cake.
"Wait... How many of us are there?"
He quickly counted. "Ten... ok."
"Make that eleven." Sasuke said, throwing a wrapped box at Hidan.
"Thank you Sasuke! Suck it Pein-Sama!" Sasori crowed.
"I'd rather not; I'll leave that to Deidara." Pein smirked, handing the redhead a fifty dollar note.
"I hate everyone." Dei muttered. "Not the cake though, the cake is god."
"Well, I hope you like it." Sai smiled.
"It's cake, how can we not?" Hidan asked, slicing into it.
The group sat in a circle in the lounge-room. Hidan was about to start opening the gifts he had got. Naruto's bible was long forgotten, probably still in Sasori and Deidara's room.
"Open mine first." Sasuke said with a cheeky grin. "Got it from a guy named Mello, said he didn't want it or something. The dude looked like he was in the mafia!" (Take that forth wall!)
"Alright." The zealot opened the present. In the box lay a rosary. With a cross. "Really Sasuke? Really? That's two religious things..." he shot a glare at Naruto.
"I payed good money for that bible! No, I stole it. Maybe I should read it." Naruto grinned. "Thou shalt not steal."
"This ones from 'Tachi. He isn't well so I'm giving it to you." Sasuke handed another box over.
This one contained another necklace but this one had a pendant that looked as though it had been handmade. It was the weird symbol Hidan had a habit of drawing. An upside-down triangle within a circle.
"Goes with our present." Deidara threw a wrapped thing at the Jashinist. "Sasori designed it but I'm better at sewing so it's a joint effort."
Inside was a shirt. On the front was the same Jashin symbol, and the words "my god is better than yours, fuckers." the back was Hidan's name inside a red cloud.
"We made one for everyone but yours was the first so happy birthday." Sasori smiled.
"Fuck yeah. Though, it would be better if I wore shirts." he laughed.
Kiba's gift was another bible. "Naruto stole my idea."
"Technically it was my idea." Shikamaru sighed. "But I'm nice enough to give you a proper gift. Here, I couldn't wrap it but that's a drag anyway."
It was a lantern with Hidan's face on it (reference to an omake in shippuden ep 129).
(Fuck this shit; I don't feel like going through it. Pein got him a headband, which he will wear around his neck. Konan made him a paper something, you pick what you want. Kuzu got him a gift-card to a gaming store, because he can. And now times skip!)
"Why the hell did you make this so short?" Konan complained, gesturing to her midriff which was clearly visible due to the fact her tee-shirt was only half there.
"Pein-Sama didn't pay us to make it that way, not at all, hm." Deidara grinned. "I personally don't like it that way because I couldn't fit a long quote in."
"I like it though."Paper cut" just sounds cool."
"Sasori-no-Danna tried to sum us all up in a few words. I think he got mine down the best "Don't test me, I'm explosive". Kuzu's one was pretty good too "I'd show you my quote but not for free." Dei laughed.
"Smexy eyes. I picked that one. Sasuke has 'teleportation is overrated."
"How bout Pein? Konan's bitch?"
"No, but that's a great idea. It's 'I will become god of this world... After I'm done with school."
Light Yagami, who was randomly walking past, overheard this. "Haha, idiots. I'm becoming god yet I'm still in school!" he laughed to himself.
(Die forth wall die!)
"Zetsu got 'omnomnom... I'm hungry.'" Deidara grinned.
"Dei, think you can check up on Itachi? I'm going to kill Pein for the tee-shirt design, then Sasori for agreeing."
"Hit him once for what he said this morning about me 'wanting to be on top for once'. Oh and get Pein-Sama for saying that 'Deidara could suck whatever Sasori was talking about.'"
"Itachi? You alright?" Deidara opened the door and peaked inside.
"What's wrong?" The blond asked, going to sit on Sasuke's bed.
"I'm tired, that's all." the lump of quilts on the bed sighed.
"Itachi, un, you normally get up at the crack of dawn and in the four years I've known you you've never once been tired. What's wrong?"
"Itachi..." The blond sighed.
"Nothing I want to discuss."
"Well, that's better I guess. But 'Tachi, I've known you for four years now, we are great friends. Why won't you tell me? Or am I the problem? Please, tell me what I did!"
"It's not you, it's me..." (*face palm* corny line...)
"What's wrong Itachi?" Dei was getting stressed now and his voice was rising. "Why won't you tell me?!"
"Because I can't. Because you'll hate me. Because I'll be murdered by Sasori." (Anyone know what he's getting at here? I'll stop breaking down the forth wall now...)
"What are you talking about? I would never hate you!" (One last time... Sooo fucking OOC!)
"That makes me happy... But I'm still not going to tell you."
"Fine, but Danna and I made this for you. I picked the wording on it. I'll just leave it here." he put the folded up tee-shirt on the lump of quilts and left.
After he blond had left, Itachi emerged from underneath the covers to find the tee-shirt. He smiled slightly at the words on the front and remembered what Dei had said./I picked the wording on it.
So Deidara though he had smexy eyes hmm? That was interesting.
Why can't I tell him? Am I afraid of what he would say? He wouldn't be too ashamed of me... But I think it's Sasori that I'm scared of...
The raven sighed. He knew that he needed to stop lying to himself, that it was rejection he was scared of.
"Brother? You in here?" a voice called from the other side of the door. "Blondie sent me."
Dammit Deidara! Itachi threw the covers back over his head, snuggling up to his new shirt.
"I'm tired, go away Sasuke!" He called, even though his voice was muffled by the sheets.
"That's not what Blondie told me. He said it was something to do with him." the door opened and Sasuke went inside.
"You know... You're my twin, you should." he lifted the covers again and met Sasuke's concerned gaze. "I'm in love, with a guy that's taken. Again... Again..." he said, thinking back to Kisame and that weird time he had crushed on Kakuzu.
"Blondie? Really? I didn't think he was your type. Well, get him to ditch Sasori and we'll both have a blond boyfriend." Sasuke grinned.
"Working on it, but yeah. Anyway, I say sabotage! Just because I don't like Sasori too much."
"But then Dei'll hate me." Itachi pouted. "And I can't do that to Sasori."
"Well, you could talk to Blondie. Or Puppet."
"Quick question, why do you call him that?"
"Stop avoiding the subject."
"If I talk to him, he won't like it. He and I are friends; I don't want to ruin that."
Deidara looked up from the bird he was sculpting, when the knock at his door interrupted him.
Sasuke opened the door, shoved an extremely surprised Itachi through it while explaining. "Itachi has a crush on you, he's too much of a pussy to say anything, and I'm keeping both of you in here till you talk."
The younger twin closed the door and put a chair under the handle, preventing opening.
On the other side of the door, Itachi seemed to be seriously contemplating jumping out the open window.
"'Tachi?" The blond asked softly. "Is it true?"
The raven looked at the floor and didn't say anything.
"Itachi, answer me."
"Uchiha! Are you going to tell me what's going on?!" Deidara exploded. "Is what Sasuke said true?"
A nod, which was all but it was better than nothing.
The blond's tone softened.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because..." He took in a deep breath. "I didn't want to ruin our friendship. And I still don't, but Sasuke said I should tell you. And I trust him."
Deidara stood up and walked over to his best friend. In that moment he realized that he really did love Sasori and any feelings other than friendship towards the raven were only pity.
"Look, Itachi... I can't... I can't be what you want... I'm with Sasori... But I will still be friends, I don't care what happens." Deidara smiled softly.
They stood like that for a few more moments. Then Sasuke pulled open the door, grinning.
"Good job Itachi!" He ran over and glomped his twin, ruining the sombre mood. "And because you are so brave, I'm going to convince Suigetsu to dump Kisame, so you guys can get back together!"
"Sas, please don't..." Itachi sighed.
"But Kisa has been missing you and Suigetsu is sick of it. He was gonna leave him anyway!"
"Itachi, it'll be good for you." Deidara told him. "But let Kisame get over it for a bit."
The normal group was larger than usual today. They were in the gym, having a party. But more than the usual members were there. Sasuke had brought along Naruto, and Itachi had Kisame with him. Zetsu had invited Tobi, as well.
Pein and Konan were half asleep, cuddled up with each other on a mound of sleeping bags. Deidara and Sasori were arguing lovingly with each other, and wondering where their sleeping bags had gotten too. Hidan was curled up on Kakuzu, mumbling softly in his sleep. Itachi and Kisame were making out in the bleachers, as were Naruto and Sasuke. Zetsu and Tobi weren't in the room, but Zetsu had mentioned something about raiding the cafeteria.
"You guys are all boring as fuck!" Kisame shouted, when he had surfaced for air. "Do something before we go much further and provide you all with free porn!"
"At least it'll be free." Kakuzu muttered, stroking Hidan's silver hair.
"I spent all last night making tee-shirts! I have all the rights in the world to be boring!" Deidara shouted back.
It was true. All of the newcomers donned similar tee-shirts to the originals Deidara and Sasori had made. Naruto's sported the word 'foxy'. Tobi proudly carried 'Tobi is a good boy' whilst Kisame's said 'I swing a huge sword ;)'.
"Fuck you all; if you're so bored just play some smutty game... But you're all so loud..." Hidan complained.
"Seven minutes in heaven!" Naruto cried.
"No, just normal spin the bottle." Konan grinned.
"Well I say truth or dare." Sasori smirked.
"Seconded!" Itachi yelled.
"Same here!" Sasuke chuckled.
"Well, everyone come and sit in a circle or something." Pein said. "And I'll give everyone their sleeping bags back."
When everyone was set, and Tobi and Zetsu were back, they started to play.
"Let Tobi go first." Zetsu said. "He's a good boy."
That put a small smirk on the raven's face. "Only for you Zetsu." he purred then shrugged "But sure, Tobi'll go first! Ummmm... Hidan! Truth or dare?"
"Truth, I can't be bothered doing anything." the silver haired man replied.
"Uh... Of any of the people here, minus Kakuzu, who would you do?"
"Deidara. Now speaking of, truth or dare?"
"Dare! Bring it on."
Hidan grinned, glancing at Konan who nodded. "Come with us."
Twenty minutes later, Hidan and Konan returned with a disgruntled blond. They had put his hair up in pigtails, re-painted his nails pink, given him lipstick and eye shadow. Instead of the shirt he and Sasori had made, he donned one that proclaimed 'Born to be uke.'
The entire group dissolved into laughter, except for Sasori who was more or less speechless.
Deidara sat back in his place, muttering darkly under his breath.
Sasori put an arm around at him, whispering something reassuring in his ear which made the blond instantly brighten.
"Pein, truth or dare, hm?" He raised an eyebrow.
The orange haired glanced over to him, still chuckling. "Truth."
"Where else do you have piercings?" Deidara asked innocently, noticing Konan had looked away with a blush.
"You didn't call me Pein-Sama, therefore the question is invalid." He said smoothly. "Sasori, truth or dare?"
"Truth." Sasori answered easily.
"Did you find Deidara more attractive when he was dressed as a chick?" Hidan yelled before Pein could open his mouth.
The younger redhead raised an eyebrow at Pein, silently asking whether or not to take the question. With a smirk, the elder nodded.
"I think he'd be more attractive without clothes in general"
Deidara blushed deeply as, again, the others laughed at his expense. But he was happy. Truly happy. So were the others. Everyone in the group loved their life, and wanted nothing different. It was perfection in their eyes.