Sometimes it felt like I'm drowning.
In some pool- deep inside. The pain felt real- the whips were hitting me again and there were mean eyes and horrible words again.
"Stop!" I pleaded. My father was looking at me- as if i had done some great wrong- but I did nothing wrong, I simply exist- that was the only sin i had committed. I trembled and doubled in fear and puked to the floor. My father got even more mad.
"You dirty, filthy child! You shouldn't even be born!" His words doesn't sting- I'm used to it. But then the whips lashed down again, and the pain felt even more real.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I repeated again and again- hot tears streaming down my ruddy cheeks, its the only mantra i knew. But inside I repeated only one mantra- kill me, kill me, release me from this pain. After all, isn't euthanasia an act of mercy?
My mother was sitting in the corner- trembling, she's afraid and sorry for me. But i saw it- amidst her milky brown eyes, that she felt relieved. Relieved to see that she was better off, that she wasn't hit as i was hit.
She's weak- she couldn't do anything.
I realized then- that disgust and anger piled up inside me- that in my eyes- she's guiltier than father. She was my mother, and yet she watched me being hit without lifting a single finger. I hated my father, but I hated my mother more.
Because there's nothing she could do, nothing she would do.
The red haired man named Akashi dragged me to a room- the blue haired boy following him, his face still expressionless. His grip on my hand was so strong- that no matter how I screamed or strangle it away from him, he would still retain it. My mouth was still calling for Kise- kun, Kise kun is the only one that matters.
He dumped me roughly to the floor and tied my hands with a rope in the room.
I certainly don't like the way his eyes are glittering. It's malicious, it reminds me of my father.
That must have caused me to tremble.
"Please, don't!" I pleaded, "Kise kun won't forgive you for this!"
He doesn't seem to listen, for a single moment- he reminds me of my father.
He slapped my cheek mercilessly- the pain searing hot across my cheek.
"W-what?" I dumbly opened my mouth- blood trailing down my lips. The taste of metal down my lips.
"That's for Daiki. And I haven't even start."
"But that's not my fault- he's disturbing Kise kun and he should have known- that Kise kun is mine!" I screamed, I am saying the truth.
He slapped my other cheek, "I never said you could speak, bitch."
"I hate you!" I screamed in defiance. "I hate everyone who tried to separate me and Kise kun!"
He seized my neck and drove me to the wall- my back bumping roughly with the wall. It hurts. How can this guy be so ungentleman-like?
"You're a delusional pathetic little girl. Nobody in this world loves you. You're worthless."
My knees was buckling down weakly. That was the words of my father- I've killed him.
"Kise hates you. Daiki is his boyfriend, and you're nobody to him."
My hands reached the knife i hid in the pocket of my skirt. I will kill him, he's been telling lies.
"I can see it. You are a failure of a human, you held to delusions in order to stay alive. What a sad way to live."
The blue haired boy reached my hand before i could reached the knife, since when is he-
"You shouldn't do that. Akashi would kill you."
He took the knife away- and Akashi took a whip from a cupboard in the room.
"If you don't do anything to mess with my teammates, I wouldn't care about the way you live. But you've stabbed Daiki and that would cause a loss to the team. A big loss."
He whipped me.
And all i saw is my father whipping me all over again.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"
The blue haired boy was saying, "Akashi kun, something's weird."
"She shouldn't be this afraid. Its not normal."
"So?" He doesn't stopped whipping me, I was curling up into a ball.
"Maybe we should take her to a mental hospital instead."
I had stopped shouting instead, tears continue to stream down my eyes, now i had a brand new mantra with me- Kise kun, Kise kun, Kise kun.
"I need him- I love him- I want him- please please please!"
I cried, I screamed, I begged.
"Don't hit me, don't hurt me, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."
The wound on my wrist reopened as i accidentally scratched my hand to the wall.
"Don't kill me, i want to live- with Kise kun. Don't separate us- he's the only one I have."
I screamed till my voice went hoarse.
and i steadily lost consciousness.
"Aomine, damn." Kise was drowning his face on his hands- he had been crying. It was his fault that his beloved Aomine was cruelly stabbed. He stood sitting at the hospital room filled with the smell of antiseptic, and worse- it was filled with the smell of death, yet he doesn't care, because the doctor had said that Aomine would live- and that the wound wasn't very deep and fatal.
Still, the guilt ripped him apart. It was his fault that his boyfriend was a victim of a girl's jealousy, he did not know how he is supposed to face Aomine when he woke up. He knew sorry wasn't enough, he knew that Aomine would hate him- because it was his fault that it had happened.
Momoi touched his shoulder gently, and hugged him from behind. She was sobbing too, "It isn't your fault Kise kun." Aomine's finger twitched. Kise trembled.
When Aomine opened his eyes- Kise felt like cursing himself.
What is he supposed to say?
Distancing himself from the awakening Aomine- he whispered to Aomine.
"I'm sorry, Daiki. Its all my fault."
Aomine was looking at him- surprised, he was muttering something. "Che- it hurts. That's something I should have expected though- dating a popular model like you." The words felt painful shoved down Kise's throat, he couldn't find a word to say. Aomine was smiling though- very warmly, as if nothing had happened and he wasn't in the least bit bothered.
"Kise, come closer. You look as if I had grown two heads. Don't you want to comfort your hurt boyfriend?" Aomine teased, beckoning Kise to come closer.
"Daiki- I." Kise moved closer anyway, and his lips was caressed by Aomine's finger. "I love this lips of yours." Aomine lovingly murmured. He kissed Kise deeply and Kise felt like sobs attacked him suddenly. He pushed Aomine away.
"Ryouta. I should be the one crying- not you. I'm perfectly fine, you see?"
"Dai- Aomine. I'm so sorry. We need to break up." He declared suddenly. "I'm sorry."
Kise ran from the hospital room, leaving a dumbfounded Aomine and a shocked Momoi.
"The hell, Kise?!" Aomine shouted angrily. "Damn that guy! Doesn't he get it- its not his fault!"