When shutters went up for the night Qhuinn stirred in his half awake, half asleep state. He was still in daze, feeling sore all over but still so satisfied and at ease He opened his eyes and stretched, smiling with a tingling feeling all over his gut. What happened between him and Blay during the day was like a dream. To good and precious to be true, but still so real. His sore body and his sleeping lover were the proof.
How many times hasn't he wished for it to be true, how many times hasn't he imagined Blay and him together like this, as lovers and equals, belonging to each other with mind, body, heart and soul. Just them together, sharing everything like it was always meant to be. God, nothing in his pathetic excuse for a life ever felt so fucking right. He has given himself to Blay in every way possible and for the first time in his life he could honestly say that he was truly happy. Belonging to Bay like that was the only thing ever that has made him feel this complete.
To him Blay was everything, now even more than before. Qhuinn had long ago realized that he loved the guy, but after being with him like this, his bonded side went nuts with possesiveness. Just thinking of Blay walking out of this room and his life made him want to lock the door and never, ever open it up. MINE!
The word was spinning before his eyes. He is mine! Qhuinn closed his eyes, concentrated on his breathing, trying to calm himself down. The room was so quite and dark, enlighted only by the moonlight from outside. He listened to the sounds around him and all he could hear was the calm breathing coming from Blay who was laying on his front. His shoulders were massive. His head was turned towards Qhuinn and watching him like this, made Qhuinn's heart swell up with love. Beautiful. MINE! The word started once again coming back to him, but this time not only with fear and possessiveness, but also love. This was who he loved and no matter what happened between them down the line, Qhuinn knew that he couldnt' t be with anybody ever again like this. Blay was the one that has woken him up, saved him from the nothingness he was becoming. Sure, he had Layla and their young and that made him really happy. Of course it did, but Blay was the one that made him complete. If he lost Blay he knew that he would come undone and just disappear if not for his young. And for that he was both grateful and proud. But nothing will be complete if Blay left him. Mine, mine, mine!
The word was making him crazy, the feeling of anger, fear, love, despair, happiness and desire just mixing within him. Qhuinn couldn't take his eyes away from his lover, his fingers slightly brushing Blay's back, barely touching, not wanting to wake him up but enough for himself to feel the heat bouncing of that body. His own body reacted, immediately hardening, his own desire waking up and once again dark spices feeled the room. God, just one little touch and he was already panting. Qhuinn has never wanted anybody like this, and everything with Blay was so different from everybody else. Before Blay sex was just sex. The only purpose with it was to ease his own desire. Just fuck. But with Blay he wanted more. Sure, he wanted Blay's body, wanted to take him, fuck him, but also he wanted to make Blay feel good. To hear Blay scream his name, beg him for more. He wanted to se Blay's eyes go wild with desire and pleasure. And most importantly, he wanted Blay to take him. He wanted to give himself to Blay over and over.
Blay stirred in his sleeping state, before he opened his eyes. Those blue eyes locked with Qhuinn, smile spreading across his face. How long ago hasn't it been since Qhuinn saw that smile? That sincere smile, coming from deep within Blay. Not manufactured or fake, just honest and beautiful. Qhuinn knew that he was the one that had taken away that smile from Blay, and now he was the one that brought it back. His bonding scent started once again pour out of him and he couldn't prevent his own smile. He leaned his head to one side, taking one deep breath:
"Hi. Did you sleep well?
"Yeah..." Blay blushed, his smile lingering on his lips. "You know, if you don't control those dark spices, soon the whole house will smell like you and not just me."
"Yeah..." Qhuinn hovered over Blay, their lips mare inches apart. "I don't care if everybody senses my bonding scent. I want everybody to know that I am a bonded male. Besides, it is only triggered when you are around or when someone says your name."
"God, I still can't believe it. I just..." word's got stuck in Blay's trout, and Qhuinn could se that he was struggling.
"What? Please, tell me..." Qhuinn has been begging a lot these last 24 hours, and he was willing to beg for al eternity, if that meant that Blay would be his.
"I don't know Qhuinn. I haven't been this happy in a long time. I just, i don't know..." looking away before continuing, Blay's voice became even softer, quieter "I don't want my fear to ruin everything, but I can't stop thinking that you will bolt at any time now. Or as soon as we get out of this room..." Blay's eyes looked at him once again, apologetic and sad "I'm sorry"
"No, don't apologize. I know how bad I have hurt you. I know that I need to prove myself to you and I will do everything I can to make you trust me again. I promise. Just give me a chance."
Blay smiled at him, his arms embracing him, holding him tight "I will do my best to get past this. I just need time to...I don't know...to get used to all of this."
"I know. I certainly haven't been acting this way around you...ever. All you have gotten from me is rejection and pain. I know that trusting me again takes time, and I will give you as much time as you need. And meanwhile, I will do everything in my power to prove to you that I want you and only you."
Blay sighed, his eyes closed, his arms still holding Qhuinn in a warm embrace. "I love you" he heard Bay whisper.
"I love you too" Qhuinn's answer was soft.
"You know what? I love your eyes. They are so unique and beautiful. I could lose myself in them. I love when they are watching me."
"They are always watching you, you know. I am always watching you, Blay."Qhuinn's voice sounded so full of emotion. "All this time. Since we were pretrans and to this day..."
A smile spread across Qhuinn's face before he started speaking again. "I remember the day I first saw you after your transition. God, you looked so hot, I had a hard time containing myself. And I remember one time when we shared this girl. You were doing her from behind, and even though she was there doing her thing to me, I couldn't get enough of you. Watching you...I wanted to throw her aside and let you take me like that instead."
Qhuinn's stare became lost, he was watching Blay but his eyes were not there. Sadness replaced his beautiful bonding scent, his voice becoming a mere whisper. "And I remember, that time in your bedroom. When I kissed you and my bonding scent surprised us both. I remember the pain after leaving you there, and I remember how bad it hurt when you brought him here that first time. I remember hearing you having..."he words got stuck in his throat as if he was choking.
"Hey...don't do this to yourself. It is what it is, Qhuinn. We can't change what happened. We just have to go forward from here. We are together now." Blay soothed but Qhuinn was past that point. He had to get this out:
"I need to tell you. It killed me seeing you with him. Since that day in your room up until now I have been a bonded male watching my mate with somebody else, knowing that it was my faoult. That I had pushed you into his arms..."
"Qhuinn, please. I hate seeing you this sad."
Qhuinn ignored him, the words coming out of his moth on their own. "But even though I was heartbroken, I knew that he was worthy of you. Sure, he was a whore to, but he stepped up when you needed him. And, even though I was watching you, to my blind eyes, you looked happy. So I just came to the conclusion that watching you with him is my punishment. I was supposed to watch you with him, knowing that I could have been yours and you could have been mine. I supposed that I was going to go through life, being half male without my true mate."
One more deep breath, and then even more sad words: "I thought that I could do it, you know. Layla and I became friends, and believe me when i tell you, that we have been together only once. And just for the conceiving. She always knew how I felt for you. I couldn't mate her. I couldn't do that to her, Condemn her to a mate that would his whole life pant after someone else. So we comforted each other, and when the opportunity came, we decided to create a young together. I thought that I had lost you forever, Blay. I needed something of my own, my own family. And now, with my young on its way, I can't regret it. I am happy that I will be a father."
"Hey, you listen to me, really good. I never, ever expected of you to regret having a young. I know that it will take time for me to trully accept that, and getting used to Layla will be difficult, but I want you to know that I will see your young as my own. Love it as it is my flesh and blood." Blay said with steady voice, meaning behind his words hear loud and clear.
"I know, I didn't mean it like that. I just need to explain...Anyway, these last couple of months I was doing ok. I was still unhappy, but I got used to it. Until yesterday and that Fade Ceremony. After seeing Thor going though that, I saw myself in him. I had lost my mate to someone else. And then I saw you in the doorway. In his arms. And that was just last drop. I realized that I was not ging to go through life without showing you how I feel. If you then chose him instead, then I would have to accept that but at least you would have known that I loved you. Love you."
Blay smiled before saying: "And then I came here, telling you was leaving"
Qhuinn's bonding scent started pouring ut of him again, his fear once again lingering in the air.
"Hey...calm down. I won't go anywhere. I promise. Not now, not after this day."
"God, I am terrified of loosing you. I need you. Now even more that before. I can't lose you Blay."
"You won't. We will work this through."
Qhuinn couldn't talk anymore, he just bent down and let his lips meet Blay's. Their kissing started ut slow, but soon it was once again passionate and demanding. He felt how Blays touches became harder and more demanding. He was leaving marks on Qhuinns skin and he was so on board with that. He wanted everyine to know who he belonged to. From far away he felt another bonding scent mix with his own. Fuck, this was Blays bonding scent. He lifted his head up and looked Blay straight in the eyes, and what he saw in those deep blue eyes took his breath away. Blay was looking back at him with need he never could have ever imagined before. This was a bonded male, a male in need to mark:
"You are mine Qhuinn. Now and for ever." Blays fingers were leaving marks on Qhuinns skinn. He took a deep breath, feeling his own bonding scent: "I have hidden this for so long from everybody. nobody knew, not you nor Saxton. I couldn't let it show because that would have destryed me compleatly. But now I want everybody to know that you are mine. I will rip everybordys head of that dares to touch you."
"Fuck, Blay. Since when?"
"Since for ever. Come here..."
"ohh, trust me I will"
Never in his life did Qhuinn think that he would have this need to get marked. But he wanted Blays scent everywhere on him, inside and out. He needed to belong to this male, and this male alone.
"Take me again" he whispered in Blay's ear, and he didn't need t say it twice.
"Turn around" Blay whispered back and Qhuinn gladly obeyed. Being taken by Blay felt so right. Belonging to him and only him. And as Blay was pounding him, taking and owning him, body and blood, Qhuinn came, his orgasm ripping through him, making him feel set. And soon, Blay was there with him. Easing out of him, Blay laid down beside Qhuinn, his fingers slightly brushing Qhuinn's skin, his touch lingering before saying:
"Mmm...I could get used to waking up like that every night, you know. "
"Me to" Qhuinn smiled back at him, satisfied. " I have to go out tonight with JM and Xhex. We are on rotation"
"Ok, I am of duty tonight, so I'll just hang around here. Catch up on my sleep." that beautiful smile was once again covering Blay's face and as Qhuinn watched him he thought he knew once again that he has found his place in the world.
"Blay, you have to promise me one thing." Qhuinn sighed, fear and despair everywhere around him."Don't leave me. Please. I can't lose you."
"Qhuinn, what is this? I won't. Sure, when I came here last night I said goodbye and intended to leave this place. But everything is different now. Don't you think?"
"Of course I do. I just can't bear the thought of not being with you again. Of loosing you."
"Let that go. We go on forward from here. Not backwards. So, just stop worrying. I need you to focus when you are out fighting tonight, and not worrying about me. I will be here waiting for you. I promise."
"Ok..." Qhuinn sighed and kissed him lightly on the lips again. "I need to get cleaned and get dressed before First Meal."
"Yeah, so do I..."Blay closed his eyes, and asked one more time. "Qhuinn are, you sure you are ready for this? When we get down there everybody will know. Your scent is everywhere on me and my scent is everywhere on you. I think that we can get it of if we shower long enough. If you are not ready for this, it's ok."
And even before Blay finished his sentence, he got his answer when Qhuinn's scent once again started pouring out of him.
"I want you to wear it and let everybody know that you are mine, but if you are not ready I understand. I will let you wash my scent away if you want to, and I will wach away you scent..."
"NO, I don't want to..." Blay interrupted him and Qhuinn smiled towards him ,slightly kissing his lips:
"...but if you want to wear it I will be so proud, standing by your side as your mate in front of everybody in this mansion. And anywhere else for that matter. And I will prodly wear your scent, let everybody know that I am and for ever. "
Blay smiled and with a kiss sealed the deal. They got up from the bed, cleaned up and got some clothes on before going down to First Meal. Hand in hand, they left the room. There bonding scents lingered in the air around them. Soon all the brothers and their shellans will know that everything they suspected during last few years was true. Qhuinn and Blay were in love, their hearts were ment to beat a one and finally they were together. As they were always meant to be.
All is right with the world.