Disclaimer: All this stuff belongs to someone else, like Disney, I do not in part or in whole own anything but the plot bunny, I call him Plotty, in case you were wondering. He is fluffy.
It's not that I have loved her from the moment I met her. I didn't even like her. I didn't like anyone. I was a self professed loner and didn't have any use for friends or some lame shit like that. I had issues. Okay so they were daddy issues and that sounds corny as hell, but they were deep ones. I was kind of happy that my issues kept people away, I'm not a people kind of person. I didn't need some peppy little hippie girl to barge into my life and force me to socialize. For fucks sake we were kids then, who meets the love of their lives that young? Save it for the fairy tales.
It's not because she looked so dejected sitting by herself at the restaurant and I wanted to see her smile that I went to her table. I work there, if I wanted to get paid I had to do my job of making sure the customer was happy, damn it. Its not relevant that my job was bus boy not waiter. Although, looking back, that was the start of her interrupting my life with her incessant chatter and yapping.
It's not that I agreed to her harebrained scheme to make Will Stronghold jealous because I thought I'd have a chance to get closer to her. I did it to piss him the hell off because I couldn't stand him. Sure there were lots of people I couldn't stand and I didn't go out of my way to piss them off, but the only reason I went to homecoming with her was the revenge factor. Its not because I was lusting after her, for gods sake.
It's not that I felt the only way to stay by her was to become part of her group of friends. It's not that I became good friends with Will to get a better idea of what she looked for in a guy. Saving the world together forges bonds, thats why I let them hang with me even after the homecoming fiasco.
It's not that I pined away for her during the rest of my high school years. I dated. A lot. It's not that I never dated any girl for long because they just weren't her. I'm picky and not easy to get along with, ask anyone. I barely tolerated most of the group we hung out with, and they were just friends, forget about getting close enough to some chick to actually have something long term and meaningful and shit. So thats why I had lots of times when I was between girls to hang out with her, oh and Will.
Its not that I was trying to be a third wheel between her and Will. Hell, half the time Will invited me to hang with them. (I think he liked the idea of hanging out with the son of his dad's worst enemy, like it made him cool. Although, I have come to grudgingly accept his friendship.) It's definitely not that I happened to always be around and was trying to make sure their relationship stayed at the first base level. It's not that I knew when Will was going to try to take it up a notch, and then conveniently forgot, and had made deliberate plans to interrupt them.
Its not that I planned to go to the same college as her after having talked to her about our futures post-high school. Its not that I only applied to that particular one and no other, thinking only of staying close to her. Its a really good college that has a course track for people with super abilities.
It's not that she thought I made the ideal anti-hero that I chose to become one. That college I went to-not-for-her, had an excellent class we were both conveniently in that covered different types of heroes, that's all. I had lots of great classes and the fact that she was in all of the great ones is irrelevent. It's not because she wasn't there that freshman year sucked.
It's not because I was thinking ahead and got an off campus apartment with the idea of getting her to live in it with me that I got one. If anyone said the only reason I got an apartment for any other reason then because it was more convenient to hide my superhero identity, is just plain crazy. After seeing how hard it is to be both a frosh and a superhero, of course I said she should move in, I was trying to be NICE, for fucks sake. Take good care of my friend Wills girl. Because of course he felt he didn't need college, what with being part of the Stronghold Three. So he wasn't there to help her out. He even asked me to look out for her. So, it's not like I was doing anything else but a fucking favor.
It's not that she was the one I dreamed about when I was alone at night, or in the shower, or what ever. Just her perfume was fucking too strong and I could smell it everywhere and sometimes, occasionally, she would cross my mind when I came because I could smell her. It's not like I had her sweater near me or smelled her shampoo. It's not like I shouted her name at the climax. It's not that I could hear her moving in her bedroom next door and know she was undressing and probably wearing the cream colored underwear set. It's not like I knew what her underwear looked like, for fucks sake, I never peeked when she did laundry. And it's not like I ever wondered what else she did in her room, it's not that I ever wished my superpower was to see through walls.
It's not that I was secretly overjoyed to hear that she and Will broke up during her junior year of college. I was down right supportive of her while she cried on my shoulders. Well to be fair, she didn't cry but said it was more of a relief as they were both just going through the motions of a relationship for years now and it was more about being comfortable then in love. No spark she said, which made me smirk because it's not that sparks were ever our problem. It's not that living with her was uncomfortable. We had a great life, but sometimes there was tension. Like when she or I ran into each other coming out of the shower, or when we spent the night at home watching a movie, just the two of us on the couch. It's not that anything happened, she's not a cheater, but still, Sparks.
It's not that I wanted them to break up so I could make a move. Will was really out of line to say the reason for the break up was her fault for not spending time alone with him, he had NEEDS, he said, the bastard. He was the one never around, being called away to save the world and shit. And if it so happened that when he was around, she was so busy with class projects and what ever, that they never had time ALONE, well...that's just life man. I never had a problem spending time alone with her and I was just a friend.
It's not that I was plotting and planning for years to get her, not just for a brief moment in time but for the rest of our lives, eternity, until the end of time and beyond, patiently waiting. It's not that I had loved for so long I was going crazy knowing that finally she was free of Will, free to love me back, that one night a few weeks after she and Will broke up that I snapped. Its not that I was jealous when she mentioned that she spoke to Will. It's not because I was insecure that I asked if they were back together and what a fucking idiot she was if they were. It's not that all my pent up love and lust, and okay a little rage, flared when she said "What does it matter to you if we are, it's not like YOU love me and want to date." Its not like I turned around and began to stalk her across our living room till she was up against the wall and growled at her that I had always loved her and kissed her like a lost man finally finding home.
It's not that I felt faint when she kissed me back and I knew what heaven was. It's not like I almost came when she whimpered and moaned while we kissed. And I didn't pick her up flush to me and walk to her room and I definitely didn't pause for more then a second to ask if was ok, what I was doing. It's not like I'm going to go on about anything else because she is a lady and I'll fucking break your legs if I even begin to think your getting turned on by this. Don't think I won't.
It's not any more of your business. So leave us the fuck alone now. It's not like I'm planning or plotting anything else. It's not that a ring may be involved. It's not.