Thanks for lending me the awesomeness that is The Fault In Our Stars ,Winona. Hope you like it as much I loved writing it. Oh ,yeah and next time I see you ,you better tell me about your Italian summer romance.
Love you Lots like Jelly tots (ahhh...I love some jelly tots right now...).Hopefully I shall see you before we being Year 10's -woooop!
You don't forget your first kiss. I sure didn't. I was 10 years old and her name was Mo. She was my best friend and she had been so long I don't even remember the day I met her. Mo was beautiful, her eyes were ocean blue and her hair was like the sun. She had an obsession for Enid Blyton books at the time and she carried them in her red Scooby-Doo backpack wherever she went. My first kiss happened at elementary school . One day ,during recess, when I was trying to persuade Mo to play on the school's rusty swings with me but she refused because she wanted to finish The Enchanted Woods. I went anyway and left her to read. I watched her as I swung. I stared as Phoebe Johnson (the brunette every boy wanted a kiss from) walked up to the small bench in the lonely part of the playground and grabbed Mo's book from her hand. She walked over to a muddy puddle and just gracefully dropped The Enchanted Forest. I quickly ran over to puddle ,stumbling several times, and grabbed the filthy book. I walked over to Mo and held the book at arm's length. She looked up, her mesmerizing eyes full of upset and anger. She stood ,took the book and placed a soft, gentle kiss on my lips. I blushed as any 10-year-old would.
Mo and I were inseparable for a couple more years after that but her family moved to France . We exchanged letters and emails until I became ill and then hospital appointments and heartache took over my life.
If I could go back in time and change some things ,this next kiss would be one of them. It was just an immature game of spin the bottle. I was 15 and at a "I'm going to die, so I want a big party" party for a girl with gastric cancer. It was only a couple of crude jokes and spins of the champagne bottle after a joined the game that it landed on me. I casually searched the circle for some hot girls I hoped the bottle might land on but it landed with haste on a girl I didn't even notice was there. She was about my age ,had copper hair that flowed like a river down her back and she was wearing a t-shirt with a cartoon Spiderman on it. I led her to the closet that couples had been disappearing in to since the beginning of the game and shut the door. I wasn't sure about her so I did what any gentleman would and tried to get to know her.
"So whats your name?" I innocently asked her.
"Abbie. Now just kiss me so I can get back to my Carling."She leaned into me and forcefully but I stepped back at the last second and she fell into me. "What the hell do you think your doing ,bastard." I pushed her back on to her feet and she leaned in again. I regret it now ,but I kissed her lightly and quickly on the lips to get it over. It wasn't quick enough though because she put her hands up my basketball jersey.
"Uh...what are you doing?" I asked her. I pulled Abbie's hands from under my jersey and took a couple of steps back.
"Fine then." The girl walked out of the closet and slammed the door in my face, leaving me alone in the dark.
This next one isn't really a kiss. It's an unforgettable special moment. It was a week after my leg had been removed and I was standing on the fifth floor of the hospital staring out of the window at the end of one of the corridors in my wheelchair. I was staring at the empty playground beneath the window when a girl casually walked towards the old bottle green swing set. She sat on the swing for a couple of minutes before her feet pushed off the bark covered ground. I was in awe because I had never seen the usually empty playground so alive. As the girl swung she glanced up the window I was staring out of as if she knew I was there and smiled. I wasn't sure if the smile was aimed at me or if she was just a generally happy girl. I wheeled off down the busy corridor and found one of my nurses. I asked her if she could find out some more information about the girl for me.
A couple of days full of playground watching later my nurse showed up with the girl behind her. She was very skinny and had a short blonde bob with chunks of her hair missing. The nurse left us together and I explained why I wanted to meet her.
"I'm Caroline ."She had whispered after I had stopped explaining myself." I have a brain tumour." That was usually how you introduce yourself in the hospital.
"I'm Augustus. I have one leg."
Caroline had a brain tumour that was widely known as the Asshole Tumour. All she would do all day was bitch about the nurses ,other kids , her family. She even ragged my family a couple of times. Each day Caroline got worse, she was always miserable and never smiled except when I was with her. That was what made me stay with Caroline, no matter how moody she would get I was the one she would accept , I was the only one she would talk to. It made me feel special ,that I was the only one who could put a smile on her face. One day we were in her bedroom lying on her perfectly made purple bed slagging on one of the nurse. In the middle of a sentence I cut her off with a kiss. I just wanted her to shut up. I leaned in more forcefully, so much that we rolled off the bed and on to the floor. Caroline always wore too much vanilla lip gloss so her lips were soft but the smell of strong vanilla was making my nose twitch. What I did next was probably one of the worst things I had ever done... I sneezed in her face. Caroline's face crumpled up in disgust and she pushed me off her.
"OH GOD AUGUSTUS! You complete BASTARD! Take your crippled leg and GET OUT!" I grabbed my jacket and walked towards the door. I was pretty embarrassed but I was desperately holding in a belly bursting laugh. Just as I was opening the door I turned around and faced her.
"I'm sorry ,C. I'm sorry you're a ...a bitch." I walked out of the door ,ashamed of what I had just said to my girlfriend. I knew she couldn't help being like she was but I just couldn't hold it in any longer.
Caroline couldn't be without me for long so the day after she called me up apologising. It was a miracle. Caroline Mathers was apologising to someone.
Caroline died a few months after that. I had never dated a dead person before so it was pretty hard. I thought I would never get over Caroline ,that I would die alone because she left such a big hole in my heart. But the truth is ...she didn't. The moment I became friends with Hazel Grace Lancaster was the moment those feelings just flew away. For good. My first kiss with Hazel Grace was so magnificent to me I was afraid my heart would stop. My heart was going to stop soon anyway so I was glad I had Hazel to myself before it did. It was on our trip to Amsterdam that I first kissed Hazel Grace. We were in the Anne Frank museum marvelling the place that ended a bunch of people's lives. Hazel was in her Ceci n'est pas une pipe screen top that me chuckle a little every time I saw it. She looked so beautiful, even though she was gasping for breath , that I couldn't help myself.
"Augustus Waters," She said over the deep grumbling of Otto Frank's voice on the video we were watching. Hazel turned towards me.
"I must say, I was very much surprised by the deep thoughts of Anne had." I heard Otto say in an English accent. I leaned down and kissed Hazel. I pulled her waist up so she was on her tip toes. She slid her hand up to my neck and I could tell she was feeling a bit breathless. I felt ecstatic. I felt something inside of me turn. Like a firework going off in my heart. I had never felt it before but I liked it. "It was quite a different Anne I had known as my daughter. She never really showed this kind of inner feeling." I heard Otto say although now it sounded distant. I opened my eyes and stared at Hazel while she wrapped her arm around my neck. Hazel opened her eyes. She wasn't looking at me though. She was looking at something behind me. I pulled away from her and smiled. A crowd had formed around us. They looked sort of angry at first but then an applause burst out from our little 'audience'.Someone shouted out 'BRAVO!' so I gave them a little bow. Hazel laughed and gave them a curtsey which resulted in another round of applause.
My favourite kiss was one of my last. I had been rushed into hospital two weeks before with chest pains so extremely painful I couldn't move, sleep or the worst, see Hazel. When I came out for a while I had asked Hazel if she wanted to go for another picnic at our favourite spot next to the Funky Bones sculpture at the art park. Hazel wheeled me across the park in my wheelchair and placed me next to the child's climbing frame that was Funky Bones. We drank from some Winnie-the-Pooh paper cups my mom had nicked from the hospital before I was released. "Last time,I imagined myself as the time the skeleton." I had said as I gazed up at the morbid looking skull. Hazel gazed at me with her hopeful eyes. I knew I wasn't going to live much longer so I might as well have been open about it. Hazel stood up and kissed me long and hard. The sun was in my eyes so I closed them and just let the world slip from the moment. I didn't want it to end because I didn't know if would live long enough to get another one. Hazel pulled away and looked into my gaunt lifeless eyes.
"Your going to survive this. Your going to survive it and become a wonderful and handsome man. We'll both save up and move to Amsterdam. We will die there ,old and wrinkly but happy together." We both knew it wasn't possible.
I died not long after. I was in a hospital bed under lots of wires, I was asleep and my family was there. But the person I wanted there wasn't because it was restricted by hospital rules. My life may have not been long ...but at least I got to enjoy at least just a small part of it with Hazel Grace. And her life is hanging by a thread . I might get to see her soon. I 'll be waiting here for her so I can tell her how much I've missed her.