Author's Note: Hope you all enjoy this story I submitted for a fan fiction contest on another site!
Blue sky. Green grass. Low humidity. It was truly an enchanting summer day in Peach Creek. The singing of birds filled the background, a chorus of lawnmowers, weed whackers, and car engines starting joining in to make sure that Silence could not come out to play. Unlike Silence, however, six particular kids from a particular cul-de-sac were currently enjoying themselves in their own ways, each of them of them relishing a truly perfect summer day.
A boy carrying a plank of wood in his hand frolicked through the playground, enjoying the fact that he and his best friend in the world had it and all of its contents to themselves.
A young girl in a one piece swim suit and a young boy in white trunks sprayed each other with water guns in a backyard, each of them laughing and giggling as they felt jets of water hit their stomachs, chests, and faces.
A girl in a white swim suit was mellowed out on a beach chair in her front yard, a pair of shades on and not a care in the world.
Two boys ran around the center of the cul-de-sac, a football being thrown between the two of them every few seconds, although one of them was heavily distracted by the girl lounging in her front yard.
Yes, one could clearly see that these six kids were literally having the time of their lives, all of them thankful that they had been blessed with such wonderful weather and such high spirits. In another part of Peach Creek, however, a particular not-so-well-liked trio was in fact not having the time of their lives. By any reasonable standard, all three of them were quite miserable. To them, this perfect summer day was nothing special and would be wasted doing absolutely nothing of value. Fun, however, is something that can always be gained, no matter how down-in-the-dumps someone is, and it's now up to this trio to see if they can truly gain the fun that they are so currently lacking...
All was dark inside of a refrigerator, its contents kept safe and edible thanks to the cold temperatures within it. Milk, orange juice, and several bottles of water and alcohol all set on the bottom of shelf of the refrigerator, while mayonnaise, eggs, hotdogs, cheese, and all manner of other food items sat on the other shelves. The door on the refrigerator suddenly swung open, illuminating its contents and revealing them for anyone on the outside to see. A hand reached into the refrigerator, moving around and hovering over several food items before finally grabbing a carton of one dozen eggs that sat on the top shelf. The hand then retreated from within the refrigerator, carton of eggs in tow, while another hand shoved the door shut.
The person who retrieved the eggs studied them for a moment, as if debating whether or not it was a good idea to cook them. The person suddenly turned around when they smelt smoke, and saw that the bacon and sausages that were cooking on the stove were burning up, sending black smoke into the air of the kitchen. "What the heck do you think you're doing?!" someone suddenly shouted from the doorway of the kitchen, causing the person with the carton of eggs to drop said carton in surprise. The carton smashed against the floor, scattering egg shells and yolks in every direction. "I told you not to start breakfast without me, and now you just spilled eggs all over the floor!" the person in the doorway yelled in anger as they stepped into the kitchen.
"Yeah, well it was your fault for scaring me, Lee!" the other person shot back in defense.
"I swear, May, all you ever do is screw things up!" Lee complained as she walked across the kitchen and toward a mop that was leaning up against the wall. "Not only are you gonna have to redo the bacon and the sausages, you're gonna have to mop up this mess!" she instructed as she grabbed the mop. Lee tossed it over to May, who quickly caught it.
"No way, that ain't even fair!" May countered as she looked down at the mop in disgust. "You should do it, I have to cook!" she shouted before throwing the mop back at Lee, who grabbed the mop as soon as it reached it her.
"Stop whining and just clean it up!" Lee yelled back before tossing the mop back to May.
"But I don't wanna!" May complained in a high and whiny voice.
"Will you two shut your traps?!" a voice ordered from the living room. "I'm trying to watch TV and all I can hear are you two running your mouths!" Lee and May stared over into the living room for a moment before looking at each other.
"Marie should clean it up," they stated in unison, nefarious grins spreading across their faces immediately afterwards.
"Finally, I thought they would never shut up," Marie muttered to herself as she slouched on a couch, a television remote in one hand and a magazine in the other. She fanned herself lightly with the magazine as she flicked through channels quickly, trying to find one that she could finally stop on and enjoy. Marie didn't take her eyes off the television when Lee walked into the room, a smug look on her face and the mop in her hands.
"I think it's about time you got off your lazy bum and started helping us out, Marie," Lee stated snidely as she watched Marie completely ignore her. "Did you hear me? I said to lift yourself off of the couch and help us out!" she restated in a much louder and much angrier tone.
"Do it yourself, I'm busy," Marie answered without missing a beat, her eyes locked onto the glowing screen in front of her.
"Oh, I'll give you something to keep you busy!" Lee shouted before chucking the mop at Marie, who didn't even see it coming. The mop smacked her right in the face, causing her to drop the magazine and remote, which both fell to the floor in front of her. Her hands shot up to her face and she held it in pain as the mop fell into her lap with a dull thud. "Now get on your feet and get to cleaning this mess in the kitchen!" Lee commanded as Marie slowly turned her head to face Lee, a mix of bewilderment and fury on her face.
"You did not just do that..." Marie seethed as she gritted her teeth together, her face starting to turn as red as the mark that the mop had left on her face.
"You bet your ugly mug that I did, now get in here and-"
"Eat mop, horse-face!" Marie called out as she tossed the mop at Lee like a spear, the mop soaring through the air at an astounding speed.
"Whoa!" Lee yelped in surprise before ducking, the mop passing right over her head and flying straight toward the kitchen, which May was just coming out of.
"Lee, should I go ahead and cook-" was all May could get out before getting a face full of mop. She stumbled backwards and fell on her back in the kitchen, the mop clattering on the floor in front of her. Lee and Marie quickly ran over to May, who was seeing stars and moaning in pain.
"Nice shot..." Lee complimented as she stared at May's face, which was a bright red from the impact of the mop.
"Wow, would you look at that! May actually looks better after getting smacked in the face with a mop!" Marie jeered before bursting into laughter. Lee couldn't help but start laughing herself as May sat up and shot Marie a vengeful glare.
"It's not funny!" May cried as she climbed to her feet.
"Yeah, you're right, it's not funny..." Marie managed to get out as she finally began to stop laughing. "After all, we all know there's no way to make you look any better!" she added before breaking out into laughter once more. May bit her bottom lip as anger began to well up inside of her. She looked behind her and her eyes locked onto one of the kitchen chairs. May ran over and snatched up the chair before turning around and dashing toward Marie. Lee thought about warning Marie, but she decided it would be much funnier to watch her get smacked in the face with a chair.
"Stop laughing!" May shouted as she swung the chair with all her might at Marie's laughing face.
"Too slow!" Marie mocked as she ducked under the chair. The chair struck Lee right in her face and shattered into several pieces that all went flying in different directions. Lee felt the entire room spin around her as she lurched backwards, her hands shooting out behind her to find something to catch herself on. She hit the kitchen wall with her shoulder and regained her balance, although she was still dazed from the heavy blow to her face.
"Oops..." May murmured in a frightened tone, realizing that she had hit the wrong sister. Marie turned and looked over at Lee, who was rubbing her face with both hands in pain.
"Ha, looks like both of you guys got makeovers!" Marie joked before once again bursting into side-splitting laughter.
"That's it, Marie, you're dead!" Lee screamed as she began to stomp toward Marie, whose laughter quickly subsided.
"What?! But May's the one who smashed you in the face with a chair!" Marie shot back, not understanding Lee's misplaced anger.
"Yeah, and you're the one who ducked under that stupid chair!" Lee countered as she raised her fist. "Now stay still and let me give you your makeover!" she quipped before diving at Marie, sending the two of them to the tiled floor of the kitchen. May watched as Lee and Marie rolled around on the kitchen floor, both of them throwing punches and kicks at each other while shouting and screaming as many expletives as they could muster.
"Wait, stop fighting!" May requested as she looked on hopelessly, knowing that she should try to break up the fight but also not wanting to get physically involved. Her sisters ignored her and continued their conflict, both of them now trying to rip out the other's hair. "Stop it!" she fruitlessly shouted, her sisters once again paying her no mind. "They asked for it..." she muttered to herself before making her way to the refrigerator. She opened it and quickly snatched up a water bottle before closing it back up. She unscrewed the cap of the water bottle and tossed it onto the kitchen table before walking over to Lee and Marie, who were still wailing on each other. She stopped next to her two scrapping sisters and turned the water bottle upside down, letting the water spill out of the end in a constant stream.
"What the heck?!" Marie hollered as she felt water hit her hair, causing her to get off of Lee and scramble to her feet.
"My hair!" Lee shouted in protest as she felt her hair get soaked by the water. She quickly climbed to her feet and joined Marie at her side. May stopped pouring the water and stared at her sisters in triumph, both Marie and Lee staring back at her with peeved expressions on their faces.
"Now, can we-"
"May, you idiot, are you trying to wreck our hair?!" Marie asked, shocked and furious that May would sink so low.
"I wasn't trying to-"
"I say we forget about each other and teach May a lesson, Marie!" Lee suggested, wanting to avenge her soaking wet hair.
"Can you guys just listen to me for a second?!" May finally shouted, shutting up her incensed sisters.
"Alright, alright, just don't get your panties in a bunch," Marie answered as May sighed in relief at her sisters finally settling down.
"Look, I think we should all just stop fighting and go have some fun or something," May suggested, although her sisters appeared skeptical of her recommendation.
"Go have fun?" Lee asked incredulously. "Are you out of your mind? We gotta clean up this mess or mom will murder us when she gets home!" she explained as she pointed out the smashed eggs and broken chair parts that littered the kitchen.
"I know, I know, but after we do that we gotta get out of this trailer and do something or we're gonna be the ones murdering each other!" May pointed out. Marie and Lee pondered May's words for a moment, debating their merit in silence.
"I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I think May's got a point," Marie finally admitted. "I mean, it's almost as hot as me in here, not to mention the fact that there's nothing good on TV," she complained as Lee nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, we oughta be out having ourselves a good time instead of sitting around cooped up in this stupid tin can," Lee answered before turning her attention to May. "So tell us, May, what do you think we should do for fun?" she asked as a slight smile formed on her lips, Lee believing that May would come up with some ridiculous answer to her question. May was taken aback at first that Lee would actually ask her what they should do for fun, but she quickly recovered and began to seriously think about Lee's question in her head.
"Well..." May began as a grin spread across her face, ideas starting to flood into her mind.
"Alright, Plank, you ready?" Jonny asked a wooden board that was resting in the swing in front of him. Plank stared back up at Jonny, who smiled at an answer only he could hear. "Then let's get this show on the road!" Jonny exclaimed before taking hold of the swing and pulling it back. He pulled the swing as high as he could, holding the seat above his head while still making sure Plank was in it. "And..." he began as his muscled tensed up. "Launch is a go!" he cried before pulling the swing downward and pushing it with all his might. The swing shot forward and then up, and Plank quickly went flying out of the swing, soaring through the air while twirling around. Jonny watched in excitement as Plank landed a few dozen yards away from the swing.
"Wow, you sure can fly, buddy!" Jonny complimented as he ran across the playground to retrieve his friend. He scooped Plank up off of the ground and turned the board around to face him. He stared silently at Plank for a few moments before nodding. "The monkey bars it is, you maniac!" Jonny answered before turning and running toward the monkey bars, which stood in all their glory not too far from the swing set. As soon as he reached the monkey bars he leaped off of the ground and grabbed onto them with a single hand. "You know, I just realized that monkeys don't wear any pants!" Jonny exclaimed as looked at Plank, who he cradled in his free arm. "I wonder what it's like to run around with no pants on all the time..." he pondered to himself as he seriously began to think about it.
"Let's find out!" someone suggested in a mocking tone as Jonny suddenly felt two hands grab the sides of his pants.
"What the-" was all Jonny could mutter before his pants were yanked down, revealing his underwear for the entire world see. "My pants!" Jonny cried before letting of the monkey bars and landing on the ground. As soon as his feet hit the ground, he stumbled forward, his pants tangling around his legs, and he hit the ground roughly, his face skidding across the hard dirt. Plank fell out of his hands and slid across the ground, stopping a few feet in front of him. Jonny grunted a bit from the pain of falling to the ground so roughly, but he managed to reach down and pull his pants back up. "What's that, Plank?" Jonny asked as a fearful expression appeared on his face. "Oh no, you don't mean the Kank- Ow!" he cried as a foot struck him right in his rear end, sending him flying forward. His face collided with one of the metal support beams of the monkey bars, and he rebounded off of it and landed with a thud next to it. His vision was spinning from the impact, but as his vision cleared, three people he definitely did not want to be around came into focus: May, Marie, and Lee.
"How's it going, weirdo?" Marie taunted, relishing the terrified expression on Jonny's face. Although scared out of his wits, Jonny managed to find the strength to grab the monkey bars and pull himself to his feet, although his face still ached something fierce.
"I was having fun with my friend until you three showed up and brought your bad vibes with you!" he replied, just wishing that the Kankers would go away and find someone else to bother.
"Bad vibes?" Marie questioned, although a devious smile persisted on her face. "We just wanted to have a little fun with the neighborhood crackpot!"
"Yeah, well I don't want any of the kind of fun you guys want to have, so leave me alone!" Jonny countered. The thought of running popped into his mind, but he knew he couldn't leave Plank behind. His eyes widened when he realized Plank wasn't safe and secure in his hand.
"That's alright, cause I think your little friend here would rather have fun with us anyway!" Marie exclaimed as she pointed over to May, who held up Plank in her hands.
"Oh no!" Jonny yelped in fright as he took a step forward, although he quickly stopped, knowing that trying to forcefully take Plank back probably wasn't the best idea. "Let him go, he didn't do anything to you guys!" he pleaded, hoping that the Kankers would show him just a bit of mercy.
"No way, your friend makes a great backscratcher!" May answered as she brought Plank behind her back, ready to use him to get rid of an itch.
"Don't you dare do that to Plank!" Jonny protested as he suddenly darted towards May, hoping to save his friend from a traumatizing fate. May grinned and tossed Plank over Jonny's head, and the piece of wood went flying right into Lee's hands, who was standing a few yards behind Jonny.
"Would you look at that? He came straight to me!" Lee commented as she held up Plank, Jonny turning around and staring in distress. "I think he likes me!"
"Give him back!" Jonny demanded as he ran toward Lee. He stretched his arms out, ready to snatch his friend away from Lee and start running, but she threw Plank over his head, and this time Marie caught him.
"I guess you really don't want your friend back, cause you would've gotten him by now if you did!" Marie taunted as Jonny began to sprint toward her. He prayed with all his heart that she would try to throw it to May; he knew he would be ready to catch Plank this time. Just as he expected, Marie began the motions of throwing Plank over to May; he jumped up into the air and stretched his arms out as Marie brought Plank up to throw him. She suddenly changed course, however, and threw Plank back to Lee instead of May.
"Darn it!" Jonny cursed as he landed on his feet and whirled back around to face Lee. "Please, just stop it and give me back Plank!" Jonny begged, realizing that simply trying to take him back was fruitless. Lee smiled at him for a moment as she thought over Jonny's desperate plea for mercy.
"Alright, you can have him back..." Lee began as she held out Plank. "Just come over and get him," she added, causing Jonny to gulp. He knew this was just going to be another trick, but he also knew that if he just stood there and did nothing, the Kankers would probably get bored and find a different way to make him miserable. He slowly but surely began to walk toward Lee, who just stood there and watched him as he drew closer, Plank in her outstretched hands. May and Marie watched from behind Jonny, both of them tensed up and ready for what was coming.
"Don't worry, Plank, I'm here for you..." Jonny assured Plank in a low and shaky voice as he stretched his arms out toward Plank. As soon as Jonny came within a few feet of Plank, May and Marie suddenly sprinted forward, both of them barely containing the laughter that was threatening to escape from their lips. The two of them shoved Jonny hard from behind, who was so focused on Plank that he didn't even notice their attack. He flew forward and his face smacked into Plank's, and he went falling to the ground.
"Sorry, freak, you were just moving way too slow for us," Marie joked as she and May looked down at the bald boy.
"Looks like he's out cold..." May pointed out as she kicked Jonny lightly in the side. He didn't react at all, and just continued to lay face down on the dirt of the playground.
"Oh well, looks like we can't have any more fun with this guy," Lee commented as she dropped Plank on top of Jonny. She dusted her hands off before putting them on her hips. "So what's next?" she asked, wondering what they were going to do now that their source of fun was no longer functioning.
"What do you mean what's next?" May asked. "This guy might not wanna play anymore, but there's more where he came from!" May explained, causing Lee and Marie to smile knowingly.
Sarah slunk through her backyard, her eyes scanning her yard and her weapon trained on the area in front of her. She was sure that her target had run into the backyard for the second time that day, but she wasn't so sure anymore. There was no sign of him, and she was sure there was no where that he could be hiding. "Oh well, guess I better check back in the front..." Sarah whispered to herself as she turned her back on the backyard. She didn't realize her mistake until she heard something burst out of a kiddie pool that was in the middle of her yard, which caused her to whirl around in shock.
"Surprise attack!" Jimmy called out as he let loose a stream of water from his water gun, which hit Sarah right in the face.
"I'm gonna get you, Jimmy!" Sarah exclaimed as she ran toward Jimmy and began firing her own water gun, some of her shots missing but others hitting him dead on.
"No more, I surrender!" Jimmy yelled playfully before falling backwards laughing over the side of the kiddie pool. Sarah giggled as she ran over to him and helped him to his feet. "We should go get the hose and fill our water guns back up for round two!" Jimmy suggested as Sarah nodded in agreement.
"Here, let me help you!" a voice called out from behind Sarah. Before either she or Jimmy could react, a torrent of water smacked into Sarah's back, sending her crashing into Jimmy, whose foot caught on the edge of the kiddie pool. They both fell into the kiddie pool, sending water flying in every direction and sending their water guns flying out into the yard. After a moment of being in shock, Sarah finally recovered and began to lift herself off of Jimmy, who was moaning in pain.
"My chest hurts..." Jimmy groaned as he laid a hand on his tender chest. Sarah began to grit her teeth as she stared down at her friend, obviously furious that someone would have the gall to not only ruin their fun but also harm them. She stood up out of the pool and spun around to face their attacker.
"Look what you did to Jim-" Sarah began to scream, until she felt her voice choke up at the sight of who had shot the water at she and Jimmy. May Kanker stood grinning next to her house, a hose in her hand that was pointed directly at her. She had one of her hands gripping the hose tightly, letting water build up inside of it. "Uh oh..." Sarah whispered in fear as she backed away a little, almost tripping on the side of the kiddie pool and falling again.
"Better grab your gun quick, cause I don't know how much longer I can hold back this water!" May warned Sarah, who began to look around her yard for her water gun. Sarah turned around to look behind the kiddie pool and gasped; Lee and Marie had snatched up their water guns and had them trained on her.
"We've got you surrounded, squirt," Lee stated as she and Marie began to march toward Sarah, who was trying her best to hide her fear.
"If you don't want us to blast you into next Thursday, you'll do a little dance to keep us entertained!" Marie explained to an incredulous Sarah. They couldn't be serious; all they had was water, she had nothing to be scared of!
"I'm not doing some stupid dance for you three!" Sarah answered in a livid tone. "Besides, I'm not scared of a little water!" she added as she balled up her fists in defiance.
"Who said anything about water?" Marie asked as her and Lee pulled back the pumps on the water guns. Sarah watched in shock as a strange orange substance shot out of the water guns and right at her. Sarah tried to turn and run, but the orange stuff sprayed all over her body and landed all over the ground around her.
"Whoa!" Sarah cried out as she slipped on the orange goop. She spiraled to the ground and landed face first in the liquid, which seemed to be sticking to her like glue. She could hear the Kankers laughing it up as she tried to push herself up off of the ground. She was horrified to find that she couldn't; the liquid had fastened her to the ground, leaving her helpless. "Help me, Jimmy!" Sarah pleaded as she tried her best to rip herself off of the ground, the Kankers slowly closing in around her.
"I'm coming..." Jimmy answered weakly as he stumbled out of the pool and towards Sarah.
"I don't think so!" May yelled as she turned the hose toward Jimmy, causing him to stop in his tracks and look at her in terror. "You better stay over there, or you're gonna get another blast of water!" May threatened. Just as she expected, the pale boy stayed put, too scared to come any closer.
"How do you like our Kanker Cement, twerp?" Lee asked as she and Marie grinned down at Sarah, who was trying her hardest to break free of the sticky substance.
"You're gonna pay for this!" Sarah fumed as she attempted to rip her arms free.
"You seem a little angry," Marie began before looking up at May. "I think you need to help this little brat cool off, May!" Marie exclaimed as May turned the hose down toward Sarah, who couldn't help but stare at the hose in May's hand in horror; the water was so built up inside of the hose that there was no telling when May would have to let it loose again.
"No wait, don't do it!" Sarah begged as she stopped her struggle and turned her eyes up at May, a pleading look on her face.
"Alright, I guess since your my boyfriend's sister I won't blast you..." May answered as she pointed the hose away from Sarah, who sighed with relief.
"Psych!" May exclaimed before turning the hose back at Sarah and releasing her tight grip on its neck. Sarah squeezed her eyes shut as a tremendous deluge of water came gushing out of the hose. The water struck her in the side and would've sent her flying if it wasn't for the so-called "Kanker Cement" that kept her firmly rooted to the ground; the substance forced Sarah to take the entire jet of water head on, each second hurting more than the last as the water continued to rain down upon her.
"Sarah!" Jimmy called out as he looked on in horror.
"Oh shut up, kid," Marie said casually as she pointed her water gun at Jimmy and shot a small stream of Kanker Cement at his mouth, sealing it shut and causing his retainer to stick to his face tightly. As the stream of water finally started to die down, the Kankers could see the damage that it had done to the helpless Sarah: the side of her that the torrent of water had rained down upon was a bright red, and they could see that she was literally quivering in pain.
"Now that... hurt..." Sarah moaned before collapsing to the ground.
"Mmhmm!" Jimmy cried before running toward Sarah. He got down on his knees beside her and tried to pull her off of the ground, although it proved to be an insurmountable task for him.
"Well, that was even funner than messing with that weird kid!" Marie commented before snapping the water gun she was holding over her knee and tossing its broken halves on the ground, Lee quickly doing the same with the water gun she had.
"What should we do about mister drama queen here?" May asked as she pointed down at Jimmy, who was issuing forth muffled screams while trying to pry a dazed and battered Sarah off of the ground.
"Aw, we should just forget about him. He'll probably be here all day trying to pry his stupid friend off of the ground," Marie answered before chuckling lightly.
"Alright, enough standing around, we can't let our fun run dry just yet," Lee remarked. "Let's go see if we can't brighten up other peoples' days..." she added ominously as she and her sisters left Sarah's backyard, leaving Jimmy to the difficult task of freeing Sarah from her sticky prison.
Nazz slid off of the side of her beach chair, stood up, and then stretched, a loud yawn escaping her lips. She looked over into the cul-de-sac and watched Kevin and Rolf toss a football back and forth for a few moments before turning to her house and walking toward it. Although she hated to leave the comfortable position she had on her beach chair, she was absolutely parched, and she figured it wouldn't hurt to have a glass of tea or something before relaxing some more. "Hey, Nazz, where you going?" she heard Kevin call out from behind her, causing her to turn around and face him. He stood at the edge of her yard, the football grasped tightly in his hands.
"Oh, I'm just going to get something to drink, dude," she answered before smiling radiantly at him.
"Ah, okay..." Kevin replied nervously before rubbing the back of his neck. "Well uh... hurry back!" he called out, causing Nazz to giggle a little.
"You bet I will; I wouldn't miss this beautiful day for the world!" she called back before turning around and walking into her house. She shut her front door lightly behind her and then made her way to her kitchen. She hummed softly as she rounded the corner into her kitchen, but she quickly stopped when she spotted two uninvited guests sitting at her kitchen table, both of them pigging out on what appeared to be food and drinks from her refrigerator. She stood there for a few minutes and watched May and Marie eat their way through the food, both of them stuffing pickles, sandwiches, lunch meat, and other foodstuffs into their mouths while washing it down with a combination of soda, milk, and orange juice. Finally catching onto the fact that they were ignoring her, Nazz sighed and gathered up her courage. "Okay, I don't remember inviting you two into my house or saying that you could eat my food," she stated, causing May and Marie to stop devouring her food and look over at her.
"Calm down, doll face, we're not hurting anything. We're just refueling a little after a rough day," Marie answered before stuffing a turkey sandwich into her mouth.
"Yeah, we'll be out of here as soon as we're done," May chimed in before picking up an entire bottle of orange juice and chugging what was left of its contents. Nazz took a deep breath, trying to stay calm under pressure.
"I don't think you guys get it," Nazz began as she crossed her arms. "You can't just go barging into peoples' houses and start eating their food! Not only is it immoral, it's just plain rude!" Nazz lectured angrily, hoping to get through to May and Marie.
"No, I don't think you get it, Miss Thing!" Marie shot back as she stood up quickly, knocking over the chair that she was sitting in. "In fact, I think you need to spend a little time chilling out before you go lecturing anyone about being rude!" she shouted, feigning an angry tone. Nazz, who was taken aback by Marie's yelling, was about to say something in response to Marie when someone suddenly reached around from behind her and slapped a piece of duct tape over her mouth.
"Mmm!" Nazz cried out as someone grabbed her shoulder and whirled her around. She came face to face with Lee Kanker, causing her eyes to widen.
"I think you're right, Marie," Lee began as she grabbed hold of Nazz's arms. "What do ya say we stick her in the fridge so that she has plenty of time to chill out?" Lee suggested, causing Nazz's eyes to widen in fear.
"Sounds like a plan to me!" Marie answered as Lee shoved Nazz toward her. She grabbed hold of Nazz and wrapped her arms around the struggling girl, making sure she couldn't escape. May ran over to the refrigerator and opened it up, revealing that it was completely empty from their earlier eating binge.
"Quick, get her inside while it's still nice and cold in there!" May exclaimed, Marie nodding quickly and turning to the refrigerator, Nazz still trapped firmly in her grasp.
"In you go!" Marie squawked before tossing Nazz into the refrigerator, May shutting it as quickly as she could so that Nazz wouldn't have a chance to escape.
"Lee, put some duct tape on here so she can't get out!" May requested as she held the refrigerator door shut; she could feel Nazz pounding on it from the inside. Lee marched forward and pulled a roll of duct tape out of her pocket. She quickly placed one end of the duct tape on the side of the refrigerator and then pulled it across the door before ripping it and placing the other end on the other side of the refrigerator. She did this a few more times for good measure, and then pocketed the duct tape before taking a step back to admire her handiwork.
"That girl always needed a good time out anyway," Lee quipped as her sisters cackled evilly behind her, the refrigerator rocking back in forth in front of them as Nazz tried her best to force her way out.
"Heads up, Rolf!" Kevin shouted as she tossed a football with all his might at the taller boy. Rolf jumped up and caught it easily. "Nice catch!" Kevin complimented as he gave Rolf a thumbs up. Kevin couldn't help but don a confused expression when Rolf just stared at him, a strange look on his face. "Why are you looking at me like that, man?" he asked Rolf, a little unnerved.
"Rolf can't help but notice that Kevin has suddenly improved at throwing the pig skin," Rolf commented as he held the football tightly in his hands. "Could it be that the absence of go-go Nazz-girl has taken away a distraction for slobber-mouth Kevin?" he teased as Kevin rubbed the back of his neck and averted his eyes from Rolf.
"Come on, Nazz is just my friend..." Kevin retorted limply. "I'm probably just doing better because I'm warmed up is all," he reasoned as Rolf's smug grin grew wider.
"Well let Rolf see if you are telling the truth," Rolf began as he took one of his hands off of the football and pointed behind Kevin. "It seems that apple-of-your-eye Nazz-girl has returned," he commented, causing Kevin to turn around. He spotted Nazz lying on her beach chair, the top of her blond head peeking out from behind a fashion magazine she was reading. "If what you are saying is true, then Rolf believes that you should have no problem catching Rolf's throw, even in her presence!" he proclaimed before rearing his arm back and tossing the football hard at the hat-wearing boy. Kevin ripped his eyes away from Nazz and dived toward the football, barely catching it and landing on the hard pavement.
"That was a jerk move, dude," Kevin complained as he stood up and rubbed his body, which was sore from hitting the road.
"Rolf apologizes that you cannot play a simple game of football in the presence of a woman!" Rolf called out before laughing, causing Kevin to turn red and look over at Nazz. He was thankful that she seemed too distracted by her magazine to hear anything that Rolf was saying.
"Chill out, man," Kevin said to Rolf, trying to keep his voice only high enough for Rolf to hear. Seeing that Rolf was still laughing it up, Kevin sighed in annoyance and threw the football at him. He caught the football and continued to laugh.
"Rolf also apologizes that pride-filled Kevin's fragile manhood has been destroyed by a simple joke!" Rolf ridiculed before slapping his knee and laughing even harder.
"Whatever man, I'm gonna go talk to Nazz," Kevin informed Rolf, having enough of the teasing. Ignoring Rolf's laughter, he walked toward Nazz, who was still engrossed in her magazine. "Hey, Nazz," he greeted as he stopped a few feet from her perch on the beach chair. "So... how's it going with you?" he asked as he crossed his arms and gave a little smile. He looked down at Nazz's body, and a bewildered expression appeared on his face when he saw what she was wearing: instead of the white swim suit she was wearing earlier, she had on a grey shirt, red khaki shorts, and a pair of red shoes. "Hey, what's with the new clothes?" Kevin questioned, never seeing Nazz wear the outfit she currently had on. His eyes shot up to her face when she lowered the magazine.
"I just wanted to dress up all nice and pretty for you, pookiebear!" May cooed as she fluttered her eyelids at him. Kevin jumped back in shock and surprise, his expression twisting into one of horror.
"Whoa, you're not Nazz!" Kevin cried as he backed away from May, who tossed away the magazine as she slowly climbed off of the beach chair.
"You're darn right I'm not that floozy," May answered as she stood up and stepped menacingly toward him. "But enough about her... how about me and you go to your place and play war with our tongues?" she suggested in a seductive tone before licking her lips. Kevin felt himself almost gag at the suggestion.
"Get away from me!" Kevin yelled as he continued to step away from the terrifying girl in front of him. Rolf watched in fright from afar, debating in his head whether he should help Kevin or just high tail it to his home. "Do something, Rolf!" Kevin shouted to the shivering boy, causing him to gulp and take a step backwards.
"Rolf thinks he hears his Nano calling him!" Rolf replied as he turned to run. As soon as Rolf turned around, he tripped over a leg that was sticking up behind him, causing him to go tumbling forward.
"You can hide in here, big guy!" Marie joked as she watched Rolf trip over her leg and fall right into an open manhole. Lee, who was standing nearby, quickly threw the cover down on the manhole and duct taped it shut. She stepped back from the tightly taped shut manhole, and she and Marie listened in amusement to the sounds of Rolf splashing around in the sewer water and calling out for help.
"Dang it, Rolf!" Kevin called out before turning his attention back to the amorous girl in front of him. It was clear that May had no intention of leaving him alone, so he knew he had no choice but to try and run away. "That's it, I'm out of here!" Kevin shouted to no one in particular before turning and running toward his house.
"Where do you think you're going, lover boy?" Marie asked as she and Lee ran in front of Kevin, blocking off his escape. Kevin stopped dead in his tracks and stood his ground, not knowing what to do. They had him surrounded, and there was no way he could outrun all three of them.
"Don't come any closer!" Kevin warned, although the three girls paid him no mind and continued to close in around him. "If you come near me, you'll be sorry!" Kevin threatened as he balled up his fists and held them up.
"Don't make me laugh!" Lee mocked as a grin curled across her lips. "You're too much of a punk to hit us!" she taunted as she and her sisters drew nearer and nearer. Kevin was desperate, mostly because he knew she was right. He didn't know if he had it in him to punch a girl, and it certainly didn't help that they would be able to overpower him even if he did try to resist, no matter how much he hated the thought of girls being able to overpower him. He had only one option left, and he knew he had to make this little ace in the hole count.
"Hey Eds, help me out!" Kevin called out as he looked off in a random direction.
"The Eds? Where?!" May asked as she and her sisters looked over in the direction that Kevin was facing. As soon as the Kankers turned their attention away from him, Kevin launched himself away from the three terrible sisters and began dashing toward his house.
"Hey, that jerk tricked us!" Lee shouted in anger as she and her sisters quickly ran after the fleeing boy. Kevin pushed himself as much as he could, trying his best to reach his house before the Kankers could catch up to him.
"Well if it's tricks he wants, it's tricks he'll get!" Marie sneered as she pulled out a coil of rope.
"I'm home free!" Kevin whispered to himself confidently as he reached his yard and began to run across it, almost sure that he would soon be safe from his harassers. "Whoa!" he shouted in surprise as he felt something wrap around his midsection and pull him roughly backwards.
"Looks like I've got me a live one!" Marie joked as Kevin struggled against the rope that she had lassoed him with. Lee and May stopped running and grabbed hold of the rope and tugged on it with all the strength they could muster, yanking Kevin clean off of the ground and sending him flying toward them. The Kankers let go of the rope, and Marie and Lee quickly caught Kevin as soon as he reached them.
"Boys: no matter how many times they run away from you, they always come crawling back," Lee stated humorously as she and Marie held up a squirming Kevin tightly by his arms.
"Let go of me!" Kevin demanded as he tried to tear his arms away from their grasps, although he was surprised to find that he couldn't, no matter how hard he struggled. He stopped his squirming and stared up in fear as May slowly walked toward him, a creepy and knowing grin on her face. "No wait, I give!" he said in a faint tone, not sure of what she was going to do but dreading it none the less.
"You giving up already?" May taunted as she stopped in front of him and leaned toward him, putting her smiling face only inches from his. "Well good, I guess that means we get to do whatever we want with you," she commented, causing Kevin's mouth to fall open in horror.
"Wait, that's not what I meant!" Kevin protested as he tried to pull his face away from May's. Marie reached down with her free arm and held his head in place.
"Since you were such a meanie and decided to act like the Eds were here, I guess you'll just have to take their place..." May explained before trailing off and grabbing hold of the front of Kevin's shirt.
"No way, not that!" Kevin cried in abhorrence, knowing exactly what she meant by "taking their place".
"Give him a big wet one, May!" Marie egged on as she tightened her grip on Kevin's shaking arm.
"Ah!" Kevin yelped as May yanked on his shirt, pulling his face toward hers. She smacked her lips against his and held him still as he slowly stopped struggling against her. Kevin felt his entire body go limp as his mind processed the fact that May was in fact kissing him; the same May that put her lips against all three of the Eds' lips all the time! May pulled away from him and he began coughing and spitting all over the place, his body and mind demanding that he rid himself of her nasty Kanker germs.
"What a wimp!" Lee mocked as her sisters laughed hysterically as Kevin's fit of coughing finally ended.
"Alright, you got your stupid kiss!" Kevin shouted in anger, tired of the entire debacle. "Now let go of me!" he ordered as he stared up at the Kankers, who stopped their laughing for just a moment.
"Oh, we're not done yet, Kevin," Marie began as she grabbed hold of his chin and turned his head to face her. "After all, me and Lee didn't get our kisses yet!" she pointed out before bursting into laughter once again, her sisters quickly joining in. Kevin curled his lips inward in disgust, dreading what was coming next and wishing it would all be over quickly.
"Well, when you're right, you're right, Double D," Eddy complimented as he walked in-between Ed and Edd. The Eds were all walking down the lane, each of them dripping wet from their time at the swimming hole. Eddy was wearing a pair of red trunks, Edd was wearing a pair of yellow trunks, and Ed was wearing a pair of underwear. "Going to the swimming hole when there's no one there was a great idea," Eddy went on, causing Edd's grin to widen.
"Why thank you, Eddy," Edd answered as he wrung out his hat. "I'm thankful that I finally thought of a way for us to avoid the fate of having to choose a spot in that rocky, insect-infested area that we are usually confined to," he explained before looking over at Ed. "So how did you enjoy our time spent at the swimming hole, Ed?"
"Oh, I loved it, Double D!" Ed exclaimed happily as he threw his arms into the air. "We should go do it again tomorrow! Maybe I'll even bring Angus along so that he can have fun swimming with us too!" he stated enthusiastically, causing Edd's smile to dampen just a little.
"Yes, well, I'll just have to make sure that mother and father keep me extremely busy tomorrow then," Edd answered quietly, although Ed didn't catch the fact that his remark was a little on the rude side.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, enough small talk," Eddy interjected as he picked up his pace a little, Ed and Edd increasing their walking speed as well. "All that swimming gave me enough time to think of the perfect scam, one so perfect that none of those suckers will even see it coming!" he explained as he rubbed his hands together greedily.
"Do we really have to ruin this perfect day with a scam?" Edd asked, a little disheartened that Eddy was already planning on ways to get money. "I mean, honestly, I love jawbreakers as much as you do, but I'd hate to see yet another failed scheme mire this otherwise immaculate day!" he explained as Eddy crossed his arms and stared up at Edd, a little peeved that Edd wasn't feeling up to putting another one of his scams into motion.
"Yeah, we should all go hunting for evil sewer mold instead!" Ed suggested, causing Edd and Eddy to shoot him confused looks.
"I think you need to take a break from those comics, lumpy, cause you're starting to scare me a little," Eddy joked as Ed laughed stupidly.
"I agree with Eddy on this one. In fact, I think that a nice book would be far more beneficial for you, Ed," Edd suggested, causing Eddy to suck his teeth.
"Always with the stupid books, sockhead," Eddy commented as he rolled his eyes. "Anyway, we gotta do this scam today while it's still fresh in my-" he began to say before stopping mid-sentence and staring down the lane. Edd noticed Eddy's sudden silence, and a perplexed expression appeared on his face.
"What's wrong, Ed-oof!" Edd began to ask before Eddy stuck his arms out in front of he and Ed, stopping them from advancing down the lane. Ed and Edd followed Eddy's gaze, and soon both of them understood why he had stopped them from going any further: not fifteen yards in front of them stood the Kanker sisters. May, Marie, and Lee stared at the Eds, their usual devious expressions plastered on their faces.
"Uh oh..." Ed said quietly as he and Edd got behind Eddy, both of the scared boys using him as a barrier between them and the Kankers.
"Real brave, guys, real freaking brave..." Eddy muttered in a shaky voice, although his eyes were still locked onto the Kanker sisters, who had begun to slowly walk toward them. The Eds just stood there shaking, a voice in each of their heads telling them to run. None of them could find the will to get their quivering legs to function, however, and so they just watched as the Kankers came closer and closer. The Kankers stopped only a few feet from the shivering Eds, who were too scared to make even a peep. Lee suddenly leaned toward the Eds, who shrunk backwards a little. Lee looked at Ed, then at Edd, and then she finally settled her gaze upon Eddy, whose eyes were the size of dinner plates.
"Boo!" Lee suddenly shouted.
"Ah!" the Eds shouted in unison as they fell backwards in surprise and landed in a heap. The Kankers began laughing as they watched the Eds try to scramble to their feet to run but kept tripping over each other and falling back down.
"Hey!" Lee yelled as her laughter subsided, causing the Eds to stop their mad scramble and look up at her from their positions on the ground. Lee just stared down at the Eds, who had confused expressions on their faces, Marie and May giggling quietly from behind Lee in amusement.
"W-What?" Eddy asked, although he was terrified to find out what she was going to say to them.
"Did you guys have fun today?" Lee asked before grinning creepily. The Eds all looked at each other in confusion, not understanding why she would ask a question like that. Eddy looked back at Lee and gathered up his courage.
"Y-Yeah... yeah we did..." Eddy said weakly, afraid to see where this was going.
"Well that's good," Lee answered as she stood up straight and crossed her arms. "Cause we did too," she added before looking over her shoulder at her sisters. "Come on, girls, let's go home and catch some infomercials," she suggested before stepping around the Eds and moving down the lane, her sisters quickly following her.
"See you around, cutie pies," Marie called back to the Eds as she and her sisters continued down the lane, the Eds watching them in complete bewilderment. The Eds continued to stare after the Kankers even after they were long gone, each of them trying to piece together in their heads what just happened. After a few more moments, Eddy pulled himself out from under his friends and got to his feet, Ed and Edd quickly doing the same. The Eds all looked at each other, each of them searching each other's faces for an explanation.
"Okay... so... what just happened?" Eddy asked, not sure if what had just happened had really happened or if he was just imagining things.
"I honestly couldn't tell you, Eddy..." Edd answered as he scratched his head in thought.
"What if we have superpowers and we shot telepathic thought beams at the Kankers that caused them to leave us alone?!" Ed exclaimed in excitement before focusing his thoughts on Eddy in attempt to test out his theory. Eddy rolled his eyes at Ed and groaned in annoyance.
"How about I shove a telepathic foot right up your-"
"Look, let's not stand around and question this odd stroke of luck, gentlemen," Edd interrupted, causing Ed and Eddy to turn to him. "I suggest we all head home where it's safe before the Kankers change their minds and decide to come back," he recommended, Ed and Eddy quickly nodding in agreement. With that, the Eds all hurried down the lane and toward the cul-de-sac, hoping to reach one of their homes where they would be safe from harm.
In the end, the Kankers did indeed gain the fun that they so were so desperately lacking on this beautiful summer day. The Universe is a strange thing, however, and sometimes for someone to gain something, someone else must lose something. In this case, the Kankers' changed their horrible day to an excellent day, thus someone's excellent day must become a horrible day...
"You know, I don't want to jinx us, but I have to say that this has been an excellent day," Edd remarked as he, Ed, and Eddy reached the end of the lane. "Not only did we have a great time at the swimming hole, but the Kankers even decided to leave us alone for once," he explained as Eddy smiled.
"Yeah, I guess you're right," Eddy answered happily as they rounded the fence at the end of the lane. The Eds froze in their tracks from fright for the second time that day when they came face to face with a mob of angry kids. Jonny had a black eye and his face was bruised and scratched; half of Sarah's body was a bright red and she had strange orange flakes hanging off of her body at seemingly random spots; Jimmy's mouth was glued tightly shut by some orange substance and his retainer had spots of the substance hanging off of it as well; Nazz had snot-icicles hanging down from her nose and she was shivering badly; Rolf had a horrible stench emanating from his body and he appeared to be soaking wet from his head to his feet and Kevin had kiss marks all over his face and on his lips as well. The Eds stared at the furious looking kids with a mixture of shock and fear; Kevin, who was at the front of the group of incensed kids, stepped toward the Eds, a sneer on his face.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Ed, Edd, and Eddy," Kevin began as his fists balled up at his sides. "Or should I say Dead, Deadd, and Deady?!" Kevin shouted in anger, causing the Eds to shrink backwards.
"W-Wait, we didn't do anything to you guys!" Eddy claimed as the kids began to become restless.
"Like heck you didn't!" Sarah cried as she joined Kevin at his side, although it pained her greatly to move at all. "If you three had just stuck around the cul-de-sac, the Kankers would've messed with you and left us alone!" she screamed as half of her started to turn red from anger, almost matching the shade of red on her other half.
"Please, be reasonable about this!" Edd pleaded as he, Ed, and Eddy began to back away from the kids, who were slowly marching toward them. "We can't control what the Kankers do!" The kids paid Edd's plea for mercy no mind, however, and they continued to move toward the Eds.
"Rolf knows a proper punishment for the no-show Ed-boys!" Rolf declared as he cracked his knuckles. "Rolf believes that we should do to the Ed-boys what the Kanker-girls did to us!" he explained, causing the Eds to gasp in terror.
"Mmmhmm fmmhmm!" Jimmy cried in agreement.
"You're right!" Jonny chimed in. "Plank says we should make them feel just like we do!"
"I'm in, d-d-dudes, let's m-m-make them p-p-pay!" Nazz stuttered, her voice unsteady from the horrible chill that enveloped her body.
"Sounds good to me," Kevin exclaimed as he punched his fist into the palm of his other hand. "We'll do everything the Kankers did to us to these three dorks!" he reiterated as he pointed at the terrified Eds. "You know, everything except for the whole kissing thing," he added as a slight disclaimer. "Now let's get them!" he shouted as he leaped toward the Eds, causing the other kids to launch themselves forward as well.
"Run away!" Ed shouted as he and his friends turned tail and ran away from the kids, who all chased the three fleeing and crying youths up the sidewalk and into the horizon.