Hey, guys. Here's that update I promised. Hm. Well. I hope you enjoy it. Thank you to all that reviewed, favorited, or have chosen to follow this story or myself! It means a lot, cool cats.
Disclaimer: Ain't got nothing to my name, but an idea.
Rated T for language and slightly abnormal content. Nothing too weird, but weird enough.
Non beta'd. It's just edited by me, so please excuse any errors. That's it. I'm sorry if that's a disappointment.
Do you ever have one of those days when you just know it's going to be the best day of your life? You wake up, the sun is shining, birds are chirping, the scent of heavenly waffles made by your best half-robot friend is heavy in the air, and you just feel so grateful to be alive. Everything feels so perfect and instantly you know without a doubt that something spectacular is going to come out of this glorious day…
And today is definitely not one of those days.
I don't think I've ever even had one of those days. I woke up once covered in glowing red demonic characters, does that count? No? Huh. Who would have guessed that oddity?
Anyway, the thing is. I know for a fact that today is going to ultimately suck.
First off, when I awoke this morning it was pouring down rain. Now, normally, I would be rather ecstatic for a rainy day – considering I prefer to read during dismal, dreary weather – but, for some strange reason, said unknown reason being that shining beacon warning me of the day ahead, looking at the rain streaming down my window in rivulets really, really pissed me off.
That, my friends, is sign el número uno.
Now, second, after rather rigorous training – in the rain – I decided to go into to town and buy this book I've been wanting for about two months or so now. This new bookstore that had just opened a week ago was the only one I knew of that carried said book. But, being the daughter of the most powerful demon in all dimensions means I don't have any luck.
What. So. Ever.
So did the store have the book I've been wanting for so long? Nope. They had just sold their one and only copy.
Thirdly, once I had made it back to the Tower, I didn't even get to relax before we were being sent off downtown to fight Plasmus.
For the seventh time this week.
This, of course, means I was completely covered in Azar-knows-what once we knocked him out yet again. Honestly, in my humble opinion, it's about time they put him on Nyquil.
Usually I wouldn't condone using pharmaceutical drugs abusively against the enemy, but that glob of idiocy makes one heck of an exception.
Oh, and I suppose I could add losing in rock, paper, scissors and getting put last in the shower schedule to that list.
Dear Azar, help me.
Ugh. Well. It's been over two hours since that dreadful game of rock, paper, scissors, so I guess it's safe to say that the shower is free and the hot water is restored.
He, he, he. This is it guys…
I crept down the hallways like a total ninja after I heard Raven leave the Secret Sanctum and go into the bathroom we all shared. I really hope she doesn't figure out I'm the one who used the last of her shampoo… Oh, shit, she's so gonna kill me! I'm screwed! Cyborg, save me! I'm too sexy to die!
Wait… if that's what's going to happen when it's only her shampoo… then what's going to happen when…
I'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieI'mgonnadie. I. Am. Going. To. Die.
Never mind, I can't do this.
I turned away from the direction of Raven's room clutching this forsaken shirt to my chest tightly and began to walk shakily back to my room.
What are you doing, Beast Boy?
I froze in my tracks and looked around the hallway to find the voice that sounded oddly… like…
"Morgan Freeman?" I squeaked.
You got it.
My eyes bulged. Morgan Freeman…was talking to me…in my head… I have either gone insane… or I am the luckiest son-of-a-bitch ever to walk this great green planet.
Both? What'chu talkin' 'bout, Morgan?
The-not-really-Morgan-Freeman chuckled before he said, Well, son, you're lucky because you've got a great opportunity right in front of you, but you're darn insane for turning away from it.
Huh? I've got what?
Walk down to the end of the hallway.
I did that, too.
Now, turn to your left.
Aye, aye, Cap'n Morgan.
What do you see, son?
Now, maybe I should have been concerned that I had just listened to a voice inside my head that taken on the absolute awesomeness of Morgan Freeman, but like good ol' Morgan said, I am insane, so I may as well get the full effect.
Either way, I turned, and looked up to see Raven's door right in front of my beautiful face.
Well? What do you see?
Uhm, the doorway to Halloween Town?
No, it's the doorway to great opportunity. Just go in, swipe the girl's clothes, and put the shirt on her bed. Easy as that!
But, won't she just wear the clothes she took with her to the bathroom?
Well, you'll just have to swipe those, too, and put the shirt in there instead.
Eek! Y-you mean, go in there while she's s-showering!?
…Wow, Morgan Freeman, you're kind of a perv.
I never said for you to peek, son!
Just switch the clothes and get out. That's it.
Uh… I dunno…
Come on, now. You've been planning this all night. You want it all to go to waste?
Then get to it, boy!
But… what if she decides to kill me…?
Now, now, those sound like words coming from Beast Boy, and here I was thinking you were Beast Man.
B-But I am!
Well then, prove it. Go on.
I nodded then gulped. But, instead of going into her room, I turned and went down another hallway that led to the bathroom – where the noise of a shower running could be heard. Stopping in front of the door, I took a deep breath, tucked the shirt into my belt, shrunk down to a fly, and made my way under the crack between the metal divider and tiled flooring.
Once I was in the bathroom, I made sure to keep my eyes away from the direction of the shower stall and morphed back into a human. I hid behind the sink while I searched the fairly sized room for my goal, and sure enough, there it was right on top of the towel cabinet: royal blue cloak, black leotard, jewel belt, boots, and…and…erhm…uh…delicates. I'm pretty damn sure my face just caught on fire and the whole tower was going to burn down in a matter of seconds.
I averted my eyes from those – who knew Raven liked pink – and the curtained shower as I released my inner-ninja again and snuck to the towel cabinet. I pressed myself against the bathroom wall as I reached my hand up onto the top of the cabinet and grasped the fabric of her cloak and leotard before quickly pulling them away. Replacing the clothes with this devious shirt was no sweat. It was the part where my sleeve got snagged on the, uh, delicates that really got things crazy.
I did my best not to make a manly squeal when I tried to dislodge those demonic knickers from my arm – with no such luck at first.
But, finally, after much ninja-like flailing, they came off and fell back where they first were as if they hadn't tried to totally rape my pretty little arm!
Oh, the humanity! I may be scarred… Maybe…
I shook my head, gathered the replaced clothes in my arms, and was about to transform again when I heard the most dreadful thing in the world.
The shower. Turned. Off.
The curtain started to move away from the wall and I almost pissed myself with relief – but, worry too! This is my crush remember – when she slipped and ended up pulling the curtain down on top of her.
Taking that miraculous moment as my cue to leave, I transformed back into a fly and flew the hell out of there!
As soon as I was back into the hallway and back into my human form, I was running like mad to Raven's room where I practically threw myself into once I got the damn door open. I ran to the closet and cleaned it out as fast as possible. My adrenaline was through the roof right now, and I still wasn't sure if I had pissed myself or not. Oh, well. I'll find out later.
I took the clothes and sprinted to my room like the freakin' zombie apocalypse was right on my ass.
Slamming the door shut, I tossed the clothes under my bunk bed and dove onto my bed.
"Oh… My… God…"
Eh, no? I never called you up, Morgan.
You said God.
Basically the same thing.
Ah, touché. I sat up on my bed, and nodded to myself. I had done it. I had switched and swiped her clothes. I did it… Pfft. Of course I did it. I am Beast Man, after all.
All that was left to do was let whatever happens, happen. Which reminds me…
Hey, Morgan, since you're God and all, can you tell me something?
Am I going to die now?
Beast Boy, you don't have to ask me to know the answer to that question. You have to go with what your inner-most heartfelt feelings tell you.
…You're screwed, son.
So much for great opportunities.
I stood up slowly after wrapping myself in one of the many fluffy white towels from the cabinet just within my reach before I tried to calm down my accelerated heart rate. I could have sworn I had seen a certain green teammate of mine crouching down by the door – you can imagine I was rather taken aback by that image, hence my slipping.
I shook my head and finished drying off. I was seriously losing it if I was starting to imagine Beast Boy spying on me showering.
That was really messed up.
Even if I do have a little, no, minor, no, slight…uh, barely there, crush on him.
…Okay, so not really 'barely there'…or slight…or minor… or…little… Ugh. Okay, yes, I have an immense crush on that idiot – no, you're right, I am still calling him an idiot and I will continue to until I'm proven wrong – so stop your school girl giggling and shut the hell up.
I don't know how it happened. It just did.
I'm still convinced I've been slipped narcotics that are causing these damned feelings though. Not that I can't keep them under wraps, but still. They're bothersome.
It's not like he'd even really return such idiotic emotions anyway. He's still in love with – even after all these years – the daughter of… that one guy… who's bald… ugh, the one who doesn't have a nose. The one Beast Boy's always raving about coming to take revenge on the 'muggles'. Whatever the hell that means.
I stepped out of the tub and turned to the towel cabinet to grab my clothes while still mulling over these feelings towards my teammate. It should probably bother me that even after he – as Cyborg puts it – nerds out, I can still like him. In fact, most of his antics don't even really bother me anymore… Sometimes it's even flattering… Sadly enough, I can find myself on occasions where I'll like him even more.
I suppose I'll just have to accept that I…
The fabric of a shirt that I had assumed was my cloak and one that I had certainly never laid eyes on before unfurled beneath my hands slowly.
-Going to kill that little son-of-a-bitch!
The tower shook violently as an angry yell split the air.
Starfire, who had been currently feeding her pet, Silky, fell from her perch atop the kitchen counter, sending the spoon she was holding full of some odd pink substance to spill onto the gray carpeting. Cyborg had a similar response which sent the mega-sandwich he'd been spending the last half-hour creating to topple onto his spiky-headed leader who had been reading recent criminal reports.
"What in the hell?" Cyborg muttered as he stared dumbfounded towards the main ops entrance doors as if trying to spot the source through the metal barriers. Robin shook his head to discard the multiple condiments that covered his hair before he stood up and started to walk to the main doors only to be stopped by his cautious girlfriend.
"It is what Beast Boy says, I believe, that I sense a…disturbance in the force." Starfire said in absolute seriousness even as her boyfriend raised a half-amused, half-scared eyebrow at her.
"Well, I don't want to send any of my teammates to jail for murder, maybe we should-" He didn't get to finish his sentence since the doors to the common room flew open at that point revealing a very pissed off Raven standing in a pair of black shorts and a large light blue t-shirt with a picture of a laughing cactus on the front exclaiming, "FREE HUGS!" (1)
"WHERE IS HE?" She growled out. Her eyes turned white as she began to float off the floor in anger.
"WHERE IS HE, ROBIN?" Raven glided dangerously close to her leader planning on strangling him – or anyone for that matter – for the answer to her question before-
"Eek! Friend Raven!" Starfire lunged forward and captured her best friend in a bone-crushingly tight hug. "I am so happy you offering hugs without charge! Though, I did not know that Earthlings required payment for a friendly hug! I shall remember that next time!" The enthusiastic teen squeezed her friend even tighter as she continued to squeal in utter joy.
"S-Star… Can't…breathe… I…have… to kill… Beast Boy…L-let go!" Raven gasped for breath once her friend released her. All physical trace of the upmost rage had disappeared from the petite empath.
"Raven, what…uh, what happened?" Robin raised his eyebrows in confusion as he continued to gaze at the shirt that was obviously too big for the girl wearing it.
"He, that idiot, took all my clothes – everything – except for this damned shirt!" She huffed and clenched her fists at her sides.
In the kitchen, Cyborg was red-faced and biting down on his metal hand to keep from laughing aloud. He couldn't believe the grass-stain had actually done something to this extreme! The kid was so dead!
"So… you are not offering the hugs with no charge…?" Starfire tilted her head to the side curiously.
"No, Starfire. I'm not. You should know by now I hate hugs."
"Yeah, yeah, you keep tellin' yourself that, Rae!" All heads snapped to the main entrance to see the team's changeling standing with his hands on his hips and a smirk plastered on his face.
Raven's eyes flashed red this time instead of the iridescent white it had been.
"YOU! YOU ARE SO DEAD!" Beast Boy paled considerably at the sight of the girl he'd been trying to help – well now that he thought about it, this was in no way helping anything whatsoever – lung at him in pure rage. Luckily for him though, his team leader had amazing reflexes and he managed to wrap his arms around the small girls' waist – successfully holding her back from her target.
"Raven! Stop!" Robin increased the pressure on his locked arms to stop any movement made by the struggling girl.
"I swear to Azar, Beast Boy, I'm going to kill you! Give me back my clothes! Now!" Raven stopped moving once she realized that by doing so, she was unintentionally hiking up the shirt that'd been forced upon her, but her icy death glare still held strong.
"I don't know w-what you're talking about…" He tried to blow off her specialty glare and act nonchalant… but the stutter kind of screwed it up for him.
"Like hell you do!"
"BB, man, just give the girl back her stuff! We don't need a murder case on our-"
Red lights flashed in the common room with blaring alarms that alerted them to arising trouble within their city. Raven's eye twitched while she watched Cyborg check the computer then turn to the rest of his team to announce where and why they were needed in the city.
He shook his head and sighed. "It's Dr. Light. Robbin' another bank."
Robin sighed as well. "Again?"
"Looks like it."
"Ugh. Alright, well, team, let's get-"
Raven jerked and hissed at her leader. "No! No. A thousand times no. I am not going out in this!" She looked down at the oversized shirt and black shorts venomously before lining her glare back up to Beast Boy.
"Sorry, Raven, but it'll have to wait until later! You'll just have to deal for now." The spiky headed leader finally released the empath, and pushed her gently towards Cyborg. "You two take the T-Car, I'll take the R-Cycle, Starfire and Beast Boy can fly."
"Alright! Let's go kick some light-weight, boo-tay!" Cyborg fist pumped the air and started to head to the garage; Raven slowly trailing after him. She turned to the changeling once more before leaving the room.
"You are so screwed."
Beast Boy gulped audibly and watched as all the other Titans began to leave. He was in some serious trouble.
But… I thought she… God, no, Morgan Freeman said… Aw, fuck…
I said what?
Gah! You! This is your fault! If you hadn't told me to do that, I wouldn't be in this mess!
Oh, no, don't you drag me into this, boy. You came up with this idea all on your own, I just gave you a little… push.
A little push!? Pfft! Yeah, right! More like a shove! She's totally gonna kill me now!
I never said that wasn't a definite possibility.
That's it. I'm never watching another one of your movies again, Morgan Freeman!
No need to be so dramatic, Beast Boy. You could solve this easily.
By putting all her clothes back, right?
That… or you could give a little push of your own to get her to own up to her love of hugs.
I dunno… I'm beginnin' to think that maybe she really doesn't like hugs…
Nonsense! You just have to show the young lady you're right.
Hm… You may be onto something there…
Well, I'm not Batman's supplier for nothing.
I thought you were God?
That's my day job, son.
Well, I suppose that makes sense.
So, what're you going to do?
I think… I'm just going to have to show her how much she really does like hugs! She can't keep denying it forever! Then, once I get her to hug me, I can see if she has any feelings for me~ and BAM! Happily ever after! The end.
You watch too many movies for your own good.
This coming from the man who is God, Batman's supplier, and Miss Daisy's driver.
(1) – That is actually what my favorite shirt looks like. It's a laughing cactus asking for those lovely free hugs. I mean, who could blame the cactus?
Well, that's the end of chapter two! Sorry for such a late update! A lot's been happening over here where I live and I've been swamped with homework. Oh well, here's my Labor Day present to you dear readers! Stay alert for the next update! Hopefully I'll have it up by the end of this week. Maybe sooner if my teachers are swell this upcoming week! Review if you feel like it bro!
-Table for Two